Poison Apples - 11
~The Reason: Hoobastank~
Saturday night - 10:31 p.m.
I should have just gone to bed. Locked the door, closed my bedroom curtains, slipped my earbuds in, and fell asleep. But I didn't. I couldn’t. All I could do was see Madi's big wonderful eyes. They were burned into me. I would regret that.
A knock at the front door startled me as I lay in my room strumming my guitar with Oz asleep next to me. It was late and I shouldn't have answered it but I did. As I opened the door Sam barreled into me, pushing me out of her way. She shoved me so hard it hurt.
"You promised Max! You promised me!" she scolded. As her hurt eyes turned to meet mine, her familiar strawberry scented shampoo hit me full force.
"Sam…" I tried to speak. Her 5-foot frame stomped toward me as if she were 7 feet tall. She hit me across the face.
"I waited for you!" she shouted. "Alone!"
"I’m sorry Sam!"
"No you’re not!" she accused. She reached out and slapped me again. It hurt something awful, but I swallowed that pain and concentrated on the main thing running through my brain…Madison.
"Is she mine?"
"How dare you ask me that!" She looked as if she might hit me again.
"Is she mine?" I asked a little louder. My hand found her cool smooth cheek. She looked as if she wanted to pull away but she leaned into my warm touch instead. My hand warmed over.
"Yes."
My body began to burn uncontrollably as my legs started to whither under the weight of her answer. I sat down on the living room couch with her angry shadow floating above me. After a few awkward moments of silence I found my second wind.
"She’s so beautiful Sam," I said breathless. "She’s the most amazing thing I have ever seen." I finished. She huffed angrily and sat down next to me. Her face eased slightly as she did.
"You think so?" she asked nervously. I nodded my head yes and found my eyes getting lost in hers again.
"She’s you," I said.
"Don’t Max. Don't say that," she warned.
"Sorry." I wasn't sorry. Not at all. She took another moment to calm herself.
"I’m sorry. This is just so hard. I don't know what to say," her voice cracked as she fought back her tears. My hand found hers.
"Lets start from the beginning," I whispered. Her eyes surrounded me.
"Can we start with some simple facts?" I asked. She looked away and back at me worried.
“You know…her birthday…” I tried to smile, but I could feel the guilt overpowering me again.
“And why am I just now meeting her?” I asked with a tone. I had no right to be upset about it, I’m the one who had left, but I could no longer help it. I felt betrayed by the ones who loved me most. She watched me closely, especially when my voice grew with anger to my last question.
“Madison Lee Valentine was born May 13th at 12:01 in the morning,” Sam spoke softly. She had given her my real first name, Madison. How I despised that name as a kid.
“Madi Lee…why wasn’t I told?” I whispered to her. Sam continued calmly.
“You lost your chance to judge MY decisions on MY daughter when you left and never came back!” She found her anger again. My heart filled with anger too but I pushed it back. She was right after all.
“Our daughter,” I corrected her statement. I shouldn’t have said it but it was too late now. Sam was hurt by my words. She rose to her feet and walked toward the front door. I chased after her and caught her by her hand. She turned around and found my worried face.
“Why Max? No calls, no letters, no email. Where were you?” she was direct and sounded so sweet. I stepped closer to her to answer but she fought me.
“No. Never mind! I don’t want to know,” she cried.
“Yes, you do,” I said confidently. She always brought that out in me, and right now was no different.
“Maybe?”
“I went to find my sister.”
“Huh?” She didn’t understand.
“You were so right Sam. I needed closure with Mia’s death.” I leaned my body next to hers as I spoke. Her breath built to a nervous level.
“And now I have that…mostly,” I said sadly. I quickly brushed my falling bangs from my eyes.
“That took you over a year?” she asked, upset.
“No, about eight months…give or take,” I let a smile peek through but she only grew more upset. I knew she would hate what I was about to say next.
“I spent the rest of that time…” I paused not sure how to put it.
“With her,” she said like ice.
“Yes.”
“Goodnight Max.” She pulled away from my touch.
“Sam…please don’t go,” I begged.
“I should not have come here tonight. Kai doesn’t even know I am here.” She wanted to cry. My best friend Kai was now her best friend and more. He was now the most important boy in her life. That hurt.
“No, you probably shouldn't have,” I agreed and slid her hair behind her ear, softly inhaling her sweet smell. I smiled with a whisper.
“But still you came…” She stared at me hard and long at my words.
“And I didn’t lie. I did come back. Without her.” I wanted to kiss her. She looked livid and said nothing.
“Sorry so late.” I teased. She did not enjoy the stupid joke.
“Not funny!” she warned.
“Sorry.”
“Max, you should have been here! For your uncle. For Kai…” she paused.
“For you,” I added quietly.
“No! For your daughter! You should have been here for Madison!” She was shouting now. I lost my temper.
“Oh that’s right, you don’t need me now!” I snapped back. “You’ve moved on!”
“Don’t go there Max!”
“Why? The truth hurt too much?” I threw in her face. My arrogance was back too.
“Yes it does! You left me when I needed you the most! I was so scared! Do you know how terrifying it is to be seventeen and carrying a life in your body!” She wouldn’t hold back anymore.
“Do you understand how scared I was! I needed you there! I missed you!” she almost choked. I tried to say something but couldn’t.
“You missed your daughters birth and every moment since!” she screamed. Her face filled with flushed cheeks, making her freckles almost vanish.
“You’ve missed what a great father Kai has been to her!” she finished loudly. Ouch…that last one stung. She knew right away that her words had devastated me. I couldn’t respond. Everything she had said was true.
“What? No witty comeback?” she asked half heartedly, and stormed out the front door. I stood frozen as I slowly crumbled. I watched her fade away into the warm night.
“I don’t deserve your love,” I told myself out loud.
Sam walked to the street and stopped herself at the last second. She was crying completely now. Slowly and softly I made my way to her, stopping only a few feet from her shadow.
“You’re right Sam…you should leave. I won’t try and stop you,” I said. Quietly she turned to face me.
“I’m so sorry for all the pain I caused you.” I turned to walk back to the house when her shaking hand stopped me. She turned me around, back to her wet face and slipped a small piece of paper into the palm of my hand. It was a picture of Madi taken recently. Her hair in tiny baby pigtails with a green and silver hair clip snugly placed on top her soft head. It was a skull and crossbones with little jewels in its eye sockets. Her eyes were smiling and she looked so happy. She looked perfect. Sam was right; Kai must have been doing just fine without me. I stared at every line of her face for a few moments before returning my stare back to Sam’s.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“Mahalo,” she smiled. It was small, but it was there.
“She has your nose,” I nervously laughed.
“She has your lips,” she said, distantly staring into my eyes. Every fiber of me
wanted to kiss her.
“Madison huh?” I asked caressing the picture in my fingers. I never liked my real name.
“Who told you?” I already knew the answer. My uncle was the only one who knew that precious information.
“Frank of course.”
"Crazy old man. Did he happen to mention that I hate that name?" I asked. She shifted her body toward me and the wind picked up through the street and flipped her hair around.
"Do you?" she asked with a hint of forgiveness on her face. I glanced down at the picture of Madi and then back to Sam’s shimmering green eyes.
"I guess not so much now," I smiled. Sam returned the smile and she seemed to finally be letting her defenses down. As we leaned in even closer to one another my hands filled with heat.
"Can I see her again? Soon?" I begged softly. She took longer to answer me then I was expecting and my heart began to pump with doubt.
"Yes," she finally said.
"And you?" I asked in a whisper. She watched me from the corner of her eye suspiciously. I could tell she wanted to say yes. In fact, she looked as if she wanted to shout it as loud as she could. She pulled her lips together tightly, daring the word to come out. She held it back and I felt sadness hit me again.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to push," I lied.
"Of course you did," she said as fact. All I could do was smile. Her smile grew bigger too as a calming feeling washed over us. It felt like it used to. So safe, so calm, and so absolutely right. I was becoming lost in the moment, but that moment only lasted a few seconds.
Out of the dark a car appeared in the road. Its lights were off and it was tearing along the asphalt in a menacing approach. The engine growled like a mechanical monster and I recognized the sound immediately. It was Kai’s dinosaur of a vehicle. His old rusty muscle car from the seventies. Sam knew it was Kai even before I did and stared on in confusion at how erratic he was driving. As the wind howled along side his machine, it became apparent that he was speeding up.
"Kai! No!" she shrieked. I grabbed her from the charging steel. My hands were already close to combusting. She winced at my hot touch as I threw her to the side of me, away from the road. He was obviously trying to make a point by scaring me, but I knew he was only bluffing. I turned my back to the street and motioned with my hand to Sam that it would be alright. I was wrong.
The right headlight hit me square in the small of my lower back. The glass splintered instantly with a crisp pop and sent me spiraling through the air to the ground. My hands burst into flames with black smoke and Sam screamed. It echoed down the street. At first there was no pain, just a tight feeling in my lower back. My head was fuzzy and slightly dizzy when the pain finally hit me. It hurt so badly that my muscles locked up and I writhed along the driveway.
"Oh no," I gasped. Fire engulfed my arms and back. My body instinctually tried to heal itself with the flames. As the pain grew, I dug my burning hands into the dirt, scorching the ground. My fingers scratched deep enough to draw blood from my nails. I was twisted in a prison of agony. Kai jumped from his car and grabbed Sam in his arms.
"What the hell are you doing?" she screamed at him.
"He'll be fine, I just grazed him," Kai smiled.
"Kai!" she bellowed. She pulled away from his grip.
"Calm down Sam! You remember…he's unbreakable!" he chastised.
"He's right," I coughed from the ground. "I'm fine," I growled as fire dripped from my blurring eyes. They both stood still at the sight of my agony.
"There’s just one thing I forgot to mention…" I coughed up blood onto the charred ground. It sounded like I was choking on it.
"Max?" Sam gasped. Her eyes welled with scared tears.
"Stop fooling around Max…get up…" Kai said with worry and building guilt. I attempted to get up but fell over on my side with a grunt and gasp of air. My burning eyes caught Sam’s again.
"I seem to break just fine now," I joked, and my body began to shake uncontrollably. Sam ran for me but I stopped her with a hurt look on my bleeding face.
"Max please!" she begged.
"You better go," I pleaded through a bloody mouth.
"No! I won't leave you!" She tried to help me up. I focused as hard as I could and stopped the shaking for a moment.
"Kai…brother please…get her out of here."
"Max, if I had known…" he said sadly.
"Leave!" I screamed. The flames covered my torso and overtook my will. I pulled my broken self to my feet, ablaze in white and orange fire. It crackled louder than the blowing wind. Kai grabbed Sam and shoved her into his car.
"Let me help him, please!" Sam called from the window.
"Go!" I screamed even louder, but this time not because of the throbbing pain of my breaking body. I lost control because as my fires overtook my body, my picture of Madi turned to ash in my hand. It was, emotionally, the last straw.
Kai started the car and drove away as Sam watched the horror on my face as the photo fell away in a dark puff. After they disappeared around the bend in the road, I managed to drag myself to the front door of the house. I pushed the flames back down inside of me and numbness set in. I stumbled through the door to a scared and frightened Oz. He circled me with his tail tucked between his hind legs. I spent the rest of the night trying to manage the pain and heal the best I could. He spent the rest of the night by my side. My little bodyguard.
Surprisingly, I managed to fall asleep; probably because of the massive amount of painkillers I had gobbled down. I kept having the same dream all night. The evening’s drama repeated itself in vivid detail, but every time I relived the hit from Kai’s car, I saw something I hadn't seen at the time of the accident. A bright flash from across the street. A camera flash.
Somebody was watching us.
Skeletons - 12
~You Can’t Always Get What You Want: The Rolling Stones~
Sunday morning - 8:42 a.m. - November 19th.
The morning light woke me quickly. It was soft and warm with the fresh island air slithering through it. Pain radiated down my back and legs. Not as bad as the night before but enough to make getting dressed difficult.
"Oww." The bones along my spine popped and cracked. My healing ability may not be entirely gone; I still healed faster than normal, but it was getting harder with every injury. I slowly made my way to the kitchen and made a quick breakfast for Oz and myself. I wasn't really hungry, but I knew I needed the energy for the day. Oz on the other hand ate like he hadn't eaten in days. I missed his ravenous appetite.
We both jumped in the truck and began our drive to the hospital to pick up uncle Frank. It wasn't a very long drive and seemed to last just a second because of my racing thoughts of Sam. Her green eyes haunted my every thought. I was completely lost at what I should do next. Maybe my uncle would have some much-needed advice for me. I just hoped he was feeling better.
"Morning old man," I teased from the doorway of his hospital room. He was on his feet and dressed. I startled him a little as he was stuffing his things into his overnight bag. I was so surprised to see him moving so effortlessly. He looked so bad the other day when I arrived. So frail. So sick. Now, with the exception of looking slightly thinner, I'd say he looked exactly the same as when I left many months ago.
"Max! Good morning my boy," he said with the biggest smile I'd ever seen. A slight cough rumbled from his chest as he made his way over and embraced me tightly.
"Ouch," I whimpered. His eyes filled with curiosity. He could always read me like a book, and now was no different.
"Alright…spill it. What's wrong?" he asked, worried.
"Um…I fell down," I said with a groan. His smile completely faded and he raised one eyebrow in disapproval.
"I had a little accident," I admitted.
"Explain," he demanded.
"Lets just say it was nice catching up with Kai," I frowned. "And his car."
"Oh I see. I was afraid of that," he said, with a careful smile. I shuffled nervously a
s the throbbing ache in my back tickled my nerves again.
"I bet you have a thousand questions son." Frank coughed, and for the first time he sounded like a man who had been very sick for a long time.
"No. Just one," I said seriously. He returned the look and walked past me with his bag snugly packed.
"Madison," he spoke her name quietly. I followed him into the hallway and quickly shadowed his stride.
"Why didn't you tell me Uncle?" I asked, growing upset. We stopped at the nurse’s station.
"Did you find the answers you were looking for while you were gone?" he asked. I was confused by his question.
"Yes and no." I shook my head. He smiled softly and slid me a clipboard with his discharge papers.
"Fill these out for me and we’ll continue this talk at home," he said, and turned to leave.
"Uncle…" I was upset now.
"Max, you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find; you get what you need," he joked, and left me standing next to the nurses desk. The cheery nurse laughed from her chair and winked at me.
The drive home didn't go by as quickly as before. I pouted all the way there. I just wanted some answers and I found my patience hadn’t grown much in the year I had been gone. I was still an over eager teenager at heart.
We settled in at the house quickly. Little Oz was so happy to have us both under the same roof again. I was happy too, even though I wasn't ready to admit that out loud yet. After avoiding the obvious questions for the rest of the morning and a good part of the afternoon, we found ourselves tensely preparing our upcoming dinner. The back porch still looked the same, cozy and comforting. I watched as Frank peppered some pork for the BBQ grill and I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer.
"I should have been told about my daughter. I should have been here for her." I slammed down the plates I was holding. Steam was already trickling from my burning knuckles.
"I should have been here for Sam!"
"Maybe…" Frank said calmly. His hands continued preparing our meal. I pouted more.
"But you're here now, and Madison is happy and healthy." He smiled my way. I hated his answer.