Miss Darcy’s letter contained thanks for Elizabeth’s good advice; Georgiana had, as advised, spoken with Mrs. Reynolds about finding a woman of good repute in Lambton to be her temporary companion, and was much relieved by this. She reported that Mr. Darcy remained in London, and that Miss Bingley grew daily more vexed with his absence. There were no references this time to Mr. Darcy holding Elizabeth in special regard, a fact which caused Elizabeth more distress than she cared to admit. She wrote back a cheery note—far more cheery than she felt, given the circumstances—detailing life at home with her sisters and the visits of Mr. Bingley and his obvious partiality to Jane—though Elizabeth cautioned her not to breathe a word of that to Miss Bingley.
The next day’s post brought a letter from Mr. Gardiner with the happy news that Lydia and Wickham had been found, and that preparations were underway for their wedding. The relief this brought to the household was great. The violence of Mrs. Bennet’s transports of joy was enough to make Elizabeth seek refuge in her own room, where she might think with freedom.
Although she rejoiced at Lydia’s recovery from shame, Elizabeth found herself in an unusual lowness of spirits. Hard as it had been to bear the dread of Lydia’s infamy, it was the more difficult when she thought of her last meeting with Darcy. The more she considered it, the more she saw in Lydia’s elopement and marriage a probable end to her hopes. Although Darcy clearly had not given up all affection for her, Elizabeth’s vanity was insufficient to believe that he could overcome, for a woman who had already refused him, a sentiment so natural as abhorrence against any relationship with Wickham. Brother-in-law of Wickham! Every kind of pride must revolt from the connection. Even if he could tolerate it, how could he ever expose Georgiana to the possibility of Wickham as a relation? She could see no hope. As she began now to comprehend that he was exactly the man, who, in disposition and talents, would most suit her, she mourned that it was not to be.
She was distracted briefly from these thoughts when Jane confided to her in delight that Mr. Bingley had at long last proposed to her, and she attempted to rally her spirits lest Jane notice her state of mind. She would likely have been somewhat less than successful in this endeavor, had it not been for the fact that the household was all in an uproar with preparations for this new wedding with a date set for a little over two months hence, making it rather simple to disguise her feelings.
When the next letter from Miss Darcy arrived, Elizabeth found herself reluctant to open it at all. She found that she both longed to hear of Darcy, and feared it with the same thought. Any word of attachment on his part would bring up the pain of missing him; a word of indifference would be devastating.
Dear Miss Bennet,
What a pleasure to hear more about your family! How wonderful it must be to have so many sisters! Meryton sounds like a charming place.—I am glad to report that we are back to normal here since my brother returned from London three days ago. I am so happy to have him home, not least because Miss Bingley does not pester me so much when he is here! He brought me home two lovely volumes of poetry which I am looking forward to reading. I gather that the business in London did not go well, since he must return in a fortnight, and he seems quite displeased with it, which is so unlike my dear brother.—He has promised me that the Hursts and Miss Bingley will not stay past his departure, which is a great relief, and he asks me to send you many thanks for your good advice. He seemed very pleased to hear I had been writing to you. I must admit I have found that I so enjoy the company of Mrs. Denniston, my new companion, that I think I shall beg Fitzwilliam to have her stay anyway, at least until Mrs. Annesley returns. I have been working on a new piece of music by Mozart which is very challenging, and she has been so encouraging when I am frustrated.—It now appears that I will be staying here at Pemberley until Christmas, which means I shall not have to miss any of the lovely autumn here. The Peaks are so beautiful in the autumn—I hope I can show them to you some day!—My brother asks me to send you his very best regards and his compliments to your family. I am sure he would prefer to deliver them in person!
Yours, etc.
Georgiana Darcy
Elizabeth wished she could be as certain as Miss Darcy. She wondered how much of Georgiana’s enthusiasm for her brother’s esteem of her arose from wishful thinking on her part rather than from anything he might have said, and these painful thoughts led to a tearful retreat to her room, where she found comfort in holding Darcy’s handkerchief.
That night she decided to open her heart to Jane. She started by telling her about meeting Darcy at Pemberley, and their several meetings there. Jane was perhaps less surprised by parts of this than Elizabeth had anticipated, having already concluded from a variety of evidence that her sister was concealing a great deal.
“You never mentioned seeing Mr. Bingley on your journey, then, the day he first arrived back at Netherfield, you said that you had thought him still at Pemberley,” said Jane. “And you never said anything about Miss Darcy either, and then she was suddenly a regular correspondent. I still owe all my information of your acquaintance with her to another source.”
“There are parts of the story, though, that Mr. Bingley would not be able to relate to you, which will perhaps explain why I have been so reticent. But I must warn you, this will not reflect well on me, and you are likely to be shocked and disappointed.”
Jane promptly reassured her dear Lizzy that nothing could change her high opinion of her, but she did prove to be somewhat shaken when Elizabeth told her of her encounter with Darcy after receiving the news of Lydia’s elopement. However, a moment’s reflection allowed her to find a point of view which rendered near guiltless all of the people of whom she was so determined to think well. She earnestly explained to Elizabeth that clearly she had not been herself at the time, owing to the severe shock of Lydia’s behavior; Mr. Darcy, of whom it was now a matter of anxiety to think well, was perhaps distressed beyond himself by the prospect of losing Elizabeth for a second time. Her poor aunt and uncle had no doubt been overwhelmed by the simultaneous problems of their two nieces.
Elizabeth had to laugh at this picture. “Dear Jane, you cannot have us all so clear of conscience, I am afraid. That Mr. Darcy and I were both in distress I will grant you, and it might possibly excuse our initial encounter, but the second must simply be put down to bad behavior on both of our parts. And I do not believe the Gardiners were overly distressed about the outcome; they came out of the entire episode thinking so highly of Mr. Darcy that they are now his greatest advocates.”
“But Lizzy, how distressed you must have been about all of this! Whatever will you do when you see him again?”
“I believe that a wide range of options are possible. Being civil seems a possibility, though hiding or running away in a panic might be more appropriate. Or, if all else fails, I could always behave badly again.”
An earnest entreaty to be serious had the desired effect, and the next hour was spent in conversation.
***
It did not take long for Elizabeth’s natural high spirits to begin to reassert themselves after this event, and she soon seemed restored to her usual teasing, cheerful self. She was able to reply to Miss Darcy with a newsy account of Jane and Bingley’s happiness. If sometimes she seemed to be taking longer walks than usual, or on occasion a shadow seemed to pass behind her eyes, no one but Jane seemed to notice. If from time to time she put her hand over her pocket where a particular handkerchief lay, no one could attach a meaning to it. By the time Georgiana’s next letter arrived, Elizabeth felt prepared to read it with a tolerable degree of composure, if not necessarily the degree of inward calm she would prefer.
Dear Miss Bennet,
It is always a pleasure to hear from you, but I must admit the arrival of your letters is becoming quite a source of entertainment in itself. My brother thinks I do not notice how he watches for the post now, but how could I miss the way he hovers in an agony of suspense over me when I read your letters until I fina
lly take pity on him and allow him to read for himself, and then he spends no less than half an hour admiring your letter, for it cannot possibly take him so long to read it! It is a shock to see Fitzwilliam act in such a distracted way, he is usually so dignified. If I had your courage, I should tease him about it, but as it is, I can only hope you do not keep him in suspense for too long, as I wonder how he will survive it!—I hope you do not mind my teasing you a little on this matter; you are far less intimidating than my brother can be, and I must tease someone!—I am so pleased for Mr. Bingley and your sister; Fitzwilliam says they have been in love for a long time so I know they deserve all of their happiness. Of course we shall be there for the wedding! I am so looking forward to meeting your family, especially your sisters. I hope they will like me! Please do tell me more about them; I feel that I am getting to know them already!
Yours etc.,
Georgiana Darcy
Elizabeth had to re-read this letter several times before she could take in its contents. She could hardly believe Miss Darcy’s description of her brother, yet it was inconceivable that the shy, quiet girl would invent such a story. It was delightful to see Georgiana begin to express herself with more confidence, but could it be true that Mr. Darcy still held so active an interest in her, and made no effort to disguise it? Her heart hammered at the thought.
She thought long and carefully before crafting her reply.
Dear Miss Darcy,
I am impressed at the progress you are making in your ability to tease if you can already even consider teasing your brother! But I will be happy to give you further instruction in how to proceed, since Mr. Darcy is certainly in need of a great deal of teasing. If your brother is again watching you as you read this, be sure to give an occasional gasp, and to say “Oh, no” from time to time, or perhaps “she couldn’t possibly!” Then, when he asks you what is the matter, explain that you could not possibly tell him, since the letter is full of secrets that I have begged you to hold in confidence. Then, if he keeps asking, you may tell him that he may perhaps read the last few sentences, but only if he promises not to look at the rest of it. You may, of course, choose to elaborate on these ideas if you feel inspired!
Elizabeth continued the letter with news of the household, then impulsively added an invitation to Georgiana to visit at her home for a week or two before the wedding if she wished to discover what it was really like to have so many sisters.
She was very pleased with this letter, feeling it struck a delicate balance between acknowledging Georgiana’s points without putting any overemphasis on Mr. Darcy’s behavior.
Georgiana’s reply came a few days later with an enthusiastic acceptance of the invitation to visit. For once, she barely mentioned her brother, which disappointed Elizabeth until she turned to the second page and saw, underneath Georgiana’s signature, several lines written in a firm hand which she knew well from her many perusals of Mr. Darcy’s letter to her at Hunsford. Her heart beating quickly, she jumped ahead to read the postscript:
My dear Miss Bennet, I certainly hope you had as much enjoyment in crafting your last letter as my sister had in reading it, although I, as the proposed victim, must admit to a certain trepidation if you continue to encourage Georgiana in this manner. Thank you for making her laugh; she still does it too rarely. I look forward to seeing you again next month, even if you and Georgiana have had some days together in advance to plot my downfall—I shall attempt to face it with dignity. As ever, yours, FD
Chapter 4
Mrs. Bennet, after many searches, discussions, and negotiations, finally decided that the gowns available in Meryton could not possibly satisfy for a marriage to a man with five thousand a year, and to this purpose she resolved to take Jane to London to visit the dressmakers there. Elizabeth and Kitty were to accompany them; Mary owned that she had rather stay at home, as she had little interest in such frivolities.
Elizabeth was initially pleased to be taking the trip, feeling it might provide her a useful distraction from her thoughts, but after one agonizing day of making the rounds of the dressmakers, she felt she could no longer tolerate the misery of watching her mother’s excitable behavior and Kitty’s sulks, even for Jane’s sake. Hence, the following morning found her pleading a sick headache and making plans to stay at home with her aunt. Once the shopping party had departed, however, Mrs. Gardiner was pleased to notice a substantial improvement in her niece’s health and was gratified to have Elizabeth to herself, since there was a certain subject she wished to broach with her.
“Lizzy, your uncle and I were wondering recently about your Mr. Darcy—do you know how old he was when his father died?”
Elizabeth, most startled by this application, found herself stammering, “I believe it was in the vicinity of five years ago, so he must have been twenty-two or twenty-three, I would imagine. But why do you ask?”
“No reason, my dear, except to settle the question between your uncle and me, but he has the right of it, then; I had thought it was more recent. It is your uncle’s belief that much of Mr. Darcy’s seriousness stems from having been left too young with all the responsibilities of managing a large estate, as well as raising a sister at a delicate age. I argued he has more of a capacity for liveliness than he might be credited for, but perhaps needs the right companion to help him find it.”
“Aunt,” said Elizabeth in some exasperation at this hinting, “why, pray tell, were you discussing Mr. Darcy in the first place?”
“Well, naturally, he does have an obvious interest for us, and also we saw a good deal of him when he was late in London.”
“I have heard nothing of this,” said Elizabeth carefully.
“Really? I would have supposed you to have sources of information… but no matter. Mr. Darcy called on us here shortly after my return from Longbourn, and afterward was our guest on several occasions. I must say that I have been very favorably impressed by him, and he and Mr. Gardiner seem to have established a fine regard for one another. I gather Mr. Darcy solicited his advice on more than one occasion regarding some difficulties he faces in managing a particular situation at Pemberley; thus, it would seem, confirming your uncle’s opinion that his responsibilities are quite large for such a young man.”
Elizabeth had not any idea of how to interpret this intelligence. Mr. Darcy seeking out advice from her uncle in trade? “You seem to take quite a lively interest in Mr. Darcy, aunt.”
“And you do not? Come, my dear, he has made no secret to us of his hopes regarding you, unlike my sly Lizzy who will choose to keep everyone guessing! And when I hear from Jane that you have been somewhat out of spirits this last month, I must wonder what part he plays in that, as well.”
Elizabeth sought to avoid her aunt’s eyes as she pondered what she was willing to say. “I will not attempt to deny that he has been much in my thoughts, nor that I have moments when I wish he was near, but the situation is perhaps more complex than it seems at first glance. I know he does still hold me in some special regard, but he has by no means renewed his addresses, and there are certainly reasons to think he never will do so.”
“Lizzy, how can you doubt it? He is clearly violently in love with you,” said Mrs. Gardiner with a smile.
“Yes, and just as clearly, the person he detests most in the world, the man who disgusts him completely, is now my brother! I cannot believe that he would tolerate being in the same room as Wickham, much less become a relation of his!”
“I believe you seriously underestimate what he is willing to do for you, my dear.”
“If I am so incorrect, why has he made no effort to see me?” Elizabeth said, finally admitting to the worry that was often with her. “He has traveled from Pemberley to London and back twice, and has never stopped in Hertfordshire, though with Mr. Bingley at Netherfield, nothing could be easier.”
Mrs. Gardiner sighed. “Perhaps it is because he remains quite uncertain of your regard for him.”
“How could he possibly be unsure of my
regard after my behavior in Lambton?” asked Elizabeth in some exasperation.
“Lizzy, my dear, your regard for him is obvious to me, but do keep in mind, you have refused him twice, which would give anyone some cause for doubt.”
“Not twice, only once, and that was long before Lambton!”
“And how would you portray your decision at Lambton? When we discovered you and strongly advocated to both of you that steps be taken to protect your honor, he was completely willing to enter into an engagement, and you categorically refused! Did you think that would have no effect on him?”
Elizabeth paled, deeply dismayed at her aunt’s view of the affair. “I was not ready, but I never meant that as a refusal… I never intended to hurt him in any way!” Tears rose to her eyes at the thought.
Mrs. Gardiner looked at her long and seriously. “My dear Lizzy, there are moments when I think that you and Mr. Darcy have a positive talent for misconstruing each other. I will speak openly to you: first, Mr. Darcy does indeed bear a significant burden of distress owing to his fear he will never win your affections, and second, if you think his dislike of Wickham is more powerful than his affection for you, then you are quite in the wrong. I do not wish to violate a confidence, but I will say that he has made it quite clear to me that he is willing to tolerate Mr. Wickham if need be for your sake.”
Elizabeth, quite sobered by her aunt’s statements, soon pleaded a return of her headache which required a retreat to her room, where she spent a great deal of time and tore up several sheets of paper before constructing a letter to suit her particular purposes.