"Syd, that sure as hell wasn't a dream."
"It must be. No way I just had sex with the two men that have haunted me since the age of seventeen."
"Haunted, huh?" Pax stood, lifting her head so that he could sit on the couch.
His thigh made a firm pillow, but she didn't complain because his fingers combing through her hair were wonderful.
"So you never forgot that night?"
Caleb returned before Sydney answered. He took his place at the end of the couch, her feet on his lap. They stroked her body lovingly as silence surrounded them. The music must have turned off while they were in the throes of passion. The only sounds breaking the quiet were the crackling of the fire and the soft sighs elicited from Sydney's mouth.
"Are you sleepin', baby?" Caleb asked, placing a bottle of beer to his lips.
"She's waitin' to wake up," Pax answered. "She thinks it was all a dream."
A soft chuckle reverberated up through her toes, coming from Caleb. "I suppose in a way it is a dream. Though not the kind you get from sleep."
Turning to face them, she blushed, having no idea how to react after this kind of interlude. Pax smirked, tapping her nose as Caleb wrapped his fingers around her ankle. "Shy?"
"I j-just don't know what to do now. We…" she drifted off, unable to finish the sentence.
"Had sex," Caleb interjected. "Syd, there's nothin' to be ashamed of. We wanted you, and you were so wet I can only assume you wanted us too."
Pax kissed her forehead, whispering, "Wanted you for so long."
"This is bizarre. I don't know how to deal with this." She sat up, pulling the blanket that rested on the back of the couch around her nakedness. Cocooning herself between them, she waited. It seemed there was something missing in the situation. Well aware of her reasons for allowing the sex to go ahead, she didn't understand what theirs were. Why hadn't Pax confessed long ago to his feelings for her?
Anxiety coursed through her, along with a good dose of turmoil. She couldn't bring herself to regret what had happened, but worried about where it would go now. Her lip trembled and tears threatened to spill. The last thing she should've done was have sex with two men. She had come to help her father in his time of need.
Oblivious to her confusion, Pax fondled her breast and Caleb's fingers walked up her thigh.
"Stop."
Both men stilled. Waited. Sydney climbed off the couch, putting as much distance between them as the room would allow. Pulling the blanket tightly around her body, she spoke with far more conviction than she felt.
"I'm confused. I want to know what's going on between you two. You're going to have to do some talking before I get naked with either one of you again."
Pax stood, sauntering over to her. His body made her mouth dry, but the smile he wore had the opposite effect on her pussy.
"Sweetheart, we're happy to answer all those little questions."
"We always have been," Caleb added, joining them and placing his arm around Sydney's waist. "We've been waitin' for you."
Shaking her head, she fought to understand what they were hinting at. She faced Pax. "If you felt this way about me when I lived here, why didn't you tell me?"
"I did tell you," he drawled. "That night under the bleachers. Syd, you vomited and refused to talk about it ever again. You couldn't look me in the eyes, and yet you had no issue with getting it on with Caleb. I had no choice. I stepped aside."
His arm came around her shoulders, and this time she didn't refuse him Caleb squeezed her waist, adding, "And I couldn't very well tell you we both wanted you. Not after what happened."
"I need a drink," she mumbled, slumping to sit on the floor. "I shouldn't even be doing this. I came to help my father."
Caleb disappeared into the kitchen while Pax took his place next to her. He placed a hand on her thigh. "I think it's time we were all honest, Sydney. Startin' with that night under the bleachers."
Chapter 6
"We followed you that night," Pax said softly, settling down beside her and pulling her close. He beckoned to Caleb, pointing to the vacant space on the other side of Sydney. They all adjusted, snuggling down on the couch, their bodies molded together. "We heard you screamin' at Jack and wanted to make sure you were okay."
Sydney looked from Pax to Caleb, her head moving side to side, utterly stunned by the admission. That night under the bleachers had been nothing like she'd remembered.
They'd followed her? Words eluded her. They'd heard the argument with her dad. She didn't want to think about the ramifications of what their eavesdropping could mean.
Caleb took over the story, pulling her arm across his lap and linking their fingers together. "We hung back, but we had no clue you were gettin' slowly shit-faced. Not until we heard you singin' to yourself under the bleachers."
"S-so you heard what we were arguing about?" Her stomach rolled and a wave of nausea hit her. Desperate for the ground to swallow her whole, she could only stare at them.
"We caught bits and pieces. Though it was only your voice we heard, not Jack's. You were kind of ragin' at yourself most of the time."
Had she? Sydney thought back, trying to recall that night but her memories had been warped by time. Caleb's statement made her wonder if she'd only heard what she wanted to from her father. The thought didn't sit well with her. Maybe her father hadn't condemned her writing, even though it had been risqué for a seventeen year old. She had lied to him for years about her occupation, and now there might be the possibility she hadn't needed to.
"What you said made little sense at the time," he continued. "We couldn't understand why you would yell at Jack because of somethin' you wrote. Nothin' could be that bad."
Pax rested his chin on her shoulder, sucking on her neck before whispering into her ear. "But now we know. Everythin'."
His hand trailed along her thigh, pushing the blanket up as he went. She stuttered, flustered for what to say. They could be playing her, getting her to admit to something first, because they had no idea what she'd written.
"What I want to know is, did you write those things when we were together?" Caleb drawled.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she denied, trying to stand up. They both held her firm, keeping their positions. Only moments earlier she melted at their touch, but now she needed some space.
"Oh, sweetheart, your nose is growin'." Pax tapped the tip of her nose, grinning. "I have to admit, I was shocked but, fuck, your words make me hard as nails."
"Oh God," she groaned, another one swiftly following when Caleb cupped her sex. His finger swept along her folds, sliding easily through the cream of her lust. He removed it quickly, smirking when she whined.
"We need to finish talking. Then we can play some more."
Pax nibbled at the delicate skin on her shoulder, lapping at the tender path he'd left. He certainly proved to be the more demanding, more aggressive out of the two men when it came to sex.
"It took us four months before we finally found your books, and I'm pretty sure we've read every erotic cowboy one there is."
"But how?" she asked, disbelief clouding her thoughts. "How did you even know to look? My father thinks I'm a journalist. Why don't you?"
Caleb's hand tightened around hers, his voice husky when he spoke. "You didn't take everythin' with you you left. You forgot to wipe the laptop."
Sydney hung her head. "I see."
"Syd, I needed answers when you cut and ran. I had no clue why you ditched me, baby. I searched, eventually finding a file on my laptop. I remembered you used it while the shop repaired yours. It was only a couple of chapters, but it was enough to make me understand." He hooked a finger under her chin, lifting her head. "Kickin' my ass to the curb was shitty. Real shitty. I deserve an explanation."
Her throat closed, causing her words to sound tight, strangled. "I was confused, my feelings so mixed up."
Caleb raised a brow when Pax kissed the back of her neck. It soothed her to have them close. T
he truth would hurt Caleb, though it was time to get it out and stop hiding.
"If you knew why I left—why I couldn't marry you, why didn't you come and find me?"
"Not our place, baby," Caleb answered. "You're the one who bolted like a newborn colt. Think about it, the first time we try anything you turn us away—"
"And vomit," Pax added.
"Yeah, and that. Then you end it all, packin' up your stuff, never to return. Why would I chase you when I'm still not sure what it is you want? Sure, I can read, but I'm not stupid enough to think that's what you want. You left me! I put a ring on your finger, you seemed happy. Damn, we were happy, Syd, but then you pack up a leave without a single explanation."
"I came back," she protested, ignoring the pain that oozed from his words.
"I guess you did, but you never came back to me."
She met his green eyes, seeing nothing but hurt swimming in them. Remorse had her stomach churning.
"Oh, if only you knew the times I came hoping to see you. Shit! Caleb, you were never around when I came home."
"I was. I watched you." He linked their hands, bringing them to his lips, kissing her knuckles. "Every damn time."
Shrugging Pax off, she held Caleb's face with her free hand. His stubble scratched her palm, and he trembled beneath her touch. "Hurting you was the last thing I wanted; when I left I thought that would stop the pain—that you could find someone else. I couldn't marry you feeling the way I did. It would have been so unfair to both of us. What I felt was just too strong."
"And what was that?"
"Wrong," she stated bluntly. "It felt wrong to want you both so badly. I refused to pick just one, especially given that Pax had no idea I lusted after him. He showed no signs of wanting me. I was trapped. Wanting another man while being with you would have driven a wedge between us. Don't you see that?"
"So you bolted," Pax said, caressing her back.
She nodded, sighing when Caleb turned and nuzzled her palm. "My head is throbbing."
Both men threw their arms around her, holding her close to their bodies. She closed her eyes, reveling in the sensation of being swamped by hard sinew and musky male. It felt delicious.
"I just need to know somethin'," Caleb uttered, leaning back to look at her. "You keep sayin' you felt or that you had. I want to know if you still do… want us, that is."
Stiffening, she worried her bottom lip. "This is going to come out wrong no matter how I say it, so I'm just going to blurt it out. I enjoyed this. I enjoyed being with both of you, but I doubt right now is the best time to make a decision. I have my father and the fire to deal with. Can you understand that? For now? Both of you?"
Pax grumbled and Caleb's shoulders sagged. They were taking her words as rejection, just like she thought they would. The simple fact that too much had happened in the last forty-eight hours for her to think clearly overwhelmed her. It still seemed like life imitated art, but her books weren't real. "Guys, please? I'm asking for a little time. You can't drop this in my lap and expect me to absorb it." She kissed Caleb quickly, spinning around to kiss Pax, too. "I'd like to sort my father out." Her hands slid down each of the men's torsos. "But that doesn't mean I can't stay here and… enjoy the sights."
Both men whooped, grinning in excitement. Pax picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder as though she weighed nothing. She squealed, slapping at his back in a fake protest but stopped the moment Caleb's hand rubbed the cheeks of her ass. Syd groaned, sticking her butt out, hoping he continued his exploration.
"Think your bed is large enough for three, Pax?" Caleb shouted, spanking Sydney once.
She moaned loudly, knowing her men had only just started their fun.
Chapter 7
Sydney woke with a start, one side of her body numb. It took her a few moments to realize it had lost feeling due to Caleb being sprawled across her body. His arm lay across her chest, his head pinning her shoulder to the bed. Apparently he didn't want her to leave.
She took a few minutes, reliving last night and enjoying the feel of Caleb beside her. The night had been too unbelievable to comprehend. Even after some sleep, exhaustion still consumed her.
Gazing across at Caleb, she smiled. He always looked so young when he slept, his lower lip jutting out in a childish pout. He had the longest lashes she had ever seen on a man, the light casting them into dark shadows across his cheek. Smoothing her hand across his closely cropped hair, she took pleasure in the familiar sensation of the coarse strands scraping her palm.
A loud clatter from downstairs made Caleb jump and it relieved some of his weight from her body. He didn't wake up, merely grumbled against her shoulder. However, it did give Sydney enough space to scoot out from under him.
The bedroom bore the ravages of their fun. Sheets scattered across the floor, along with a few books they'd managed to knock from the shelf. They'd also toppled the lamp from the bedside table, and it now lay in pieces on floor.
Sydney blushed, staring down at her nakedness, expecting to see bruises scattered across her skin. Both men had taken pleasure from her, using her body until they had all fallen into a mangled mess on Pax's bed. But with the morning dawn, Sydney didn't know how to deal with the men in the cold light of day. She didn't feel ashamed, in fact she was elated her dream of being with both Pax and Caleb had been realized. However, concern weighed heavy on her. Writing about being in a relationship with two men didn't quite match the actual experience, even though she'd only just started.
What would people think when they knew? This was her home, not Sacramento, and it mattered what her father and his friends thought about her. It would hurt to know she'd disappointed Jack because she couldn't chose between the men.
The lack of decision had been why she'd run away in the first place, and she didn't want to go back to that scenario after coming this far—after being with them. They'd all missed out on so much because of her fears. She had secretly longed to be with them for so many years—since the age of seventeen—she couldn't allow her misgivings to overshadow that.
Rooting around the floor, she managed to find one of Pax's plaid work shirts. His intoxicating scent encompassed her when she put it on and rolled up the sleeves three times. She cast a sleeping Caleb one last look before going to find Pax.
Her search would be short-lived. When she descended the stairs, the smell of freshly cooked bacon and eggs wafted up to greet her. The delicious aroma had her stomach growling and her mouthwatering. Her hunger grew when Pax stepped into view, and she wanted to devour him instead of the food.
Dark jeans hung low on his hips, only one button fastened. She struggled to look away from the enticing path of hair that led below the denim. His chest bare, his biceps bulged as he scrubbed a frying pan in the sink. "Hey, sweetheart," he drawled, turning his warm chocolate eyes on her.
Sydney fumbled with the edge of her shirt, feeling her confidence seep away and her cheeks heat. She'd dreamed of waking up after a night in Pax's bed for so long that the reality had her taking pause. He looked better than any dream.
"You sure make a sight for sore eyes in that shirt. I'll never wash it again."
She shot him a small smile, uncertain of how to proceed.
Pax put an end to her worry, tossing the pan into the sink and opening his arms. "No kiss for me this mornin'?" He reached out, grasping the front of her shirt and tugged her close. His hands roamed under the fabric and across her buttocks before his mouth met hers. The possession immediate, his tongue dipped in to skim across hers. She huffed, her nails digging into his chest and she got carried away with the seductive massage of his mouth.
His hand clasped her ass, lifting her up and moving her to sit on the counter top. His lips never left hers, not even when she moaned when the fly of his jeans made contact with her pussy. Parting her thighs, he wedged himself between them, his cock hardening to press against her sex. "Damn you," she said breathlessly. "You're better than coffee."
He smirked, stroking her t
highs and pushing the shirt up. "That's one hell of a compliment."
"You're up," she replied inanely.
"Not yet." He skimmed a finger across her creamy slit. "But I could be."
"I wouldn't want to put your breakfast to waste. I'm starving." Her stomach growled and Pax laughed.
Moving away from her, he picked up a plate loaded with bacon and eggs before returning to stand between her thighs. He kissed her forehead and lifted a fork. "Eggs or bacon?"
The tension instantly eased as her laughter burst free. "I don't need you to feed me."
Pax raised a brow, smirking. "Humor me." He scooped up a forkful of the scrambled eggs, holding the utensil to her lips.
Feeling foolish, Sydney opened her mouth, allowing Pax to feed her. He shot her the most amazing smile when she chewed.
She groaned when the flavor burst across her tongue. "More."
Chuckling, Pax lifted a crispy rasher of bacon for her to try, smoothing his thumb along her bottom lip to wipe away the grease.
"I know my dad said you needed to feed me, but you actually feeding me might be taking it a bit too far."
"No way." He scooped up more eggs. "Feedin' you is very sexy." Reaching out, he grasped her hand, moving it so that she cupped him through his jeans. "This is how sexy I find it—you."
Sydney looked toward the stairs, an odd sense of guilt washing over her. "W-what about Caleb?"
Placing the plate on the counter, Pax coiled his arms around her, hugging her close. "You feel guilty." He made it more of a statement than a question.
Sydney closed her eyes, inhaling his muskiness. "I just don't know what to do next. How the hell does this relationship work? Other than sex, I mean."
"No fuckin' idea, sweetheart. Guess we should all talk."
"Guess so. Though I want you to eat first." She giggled, like a little girl. The sound shocked her and she attempted to bury her face in his chest.
"Oh, Syd, if only you could understand just what that sound did to me." He framed her face with his hands, lifting her head to make eye contact. "You're too good for both of us."