“Don’t stop,” I whispered.
My hands traveled up his chest. I gripped his hair, willing him to stay.
He looked like he wanted to say something, but all he did was brush his fingers against my bottom lip. I nipped at it, hearing the sharp intake of his breath. His eyes fluttered shut. When they opened back up there was enough fire there to make my skin burn.
I slid my hands past his blazer.
“Katinka…”
I loved when he said my name like that.
“I gotta … I gotta take you back to the hotel.”
I barely registered what he was saying. I continued to lick and nip on his neck. I curled my hands around his neck, drawing his face closer to me. “I’m not tired.”
I shifted against him. I felt his dick twitch against my stomach. He growled and grabbed my hand and pushed me away.
“You’re driving me crazy,” he said in a croaked whisper.
He was getting lost though, in me, in touching, in kissing. All of it was pulling him under. He was so close to losing his control, but his moral compass was in the way.
Mathias took a step back from me. His hair mussed. His tie skewed. A streak of my lips on his neck. He blinked rapidly at me, as if he was afraid I’d come closer or disappear on him. I couldn’t tell.
“I have to go.”
I took a step forward, but he was already hurrying down the aisle. Seconds later the door slammed behind him.
He was going to keep fighting this? Okay. I could wait him out.
We still had the rest of tonight.
K A T J A
I stared out the window of the cab. It was only a short ride, but it felt like forever.
My lips still tingled. Each kiss between us grew stronger and more powerful and demanding that I could barely see straight. I had the desperate urge to finish what we’d started months ago. My hands were in my lap, but they wouldn’t stop shaking. I needed to see Mathias and I knew I shouldn’t. A little voice in my head told me to leave everything the way it was. The way it should be.
But as I paid the driver and hurried into the hotel lobby, the need for an explanation took over. In my book, there was no more room or ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘it was a mistake.’
I needed to know how he could stop because I knew he felt the exact same thing as I did. He was no longer my instructor. There was nothing keeping us from acting out our lust.
The elevators parted and I stepped onto the third floor. Mathias’ room was right next to mine. The plush carpet softened my footsteps, but all I could hear was the frantic pounding of my heart.
There was a chance that Mathias went out to a bar, or that he would just flat-out ignore my knocks. I knocked on his door, knowing that if I paused, even a second, I would lose my nerve. Already in this small moment of quiet I started to panic.
The door opened.
There he was.
The top button of his white dress shirt was undone. His black vest was still on, but his bow tie was hanging around his neck, looking like it was ready to fall to the ground at any second. It looked like our kiss was torturing him just like it was torturing me.
“Katja.” He said my name in an aching whisper. His head dipped closer and his aftershave invaded my senses. Actually everything about him invaded my senses. His voice drifted across my skin and the tiny hairs on my arms stood up. “I think you need to go to your room.”
“Why did you leave?” I moved a fraction of an inch closer. “Just tell me why.”
“Because…” He swallowed. “You’re my student.”
“I’m no longer your student.” I leaned against the doorframe. “Give me a better answer than that.”
He stared down at me, his eyes raking over me from head to toe. And then they lingered on my cleavage and I started to feel weak. I started to feel hot. I started to feel like I was going to collapse right then and there if he didn’t touch me, so I leaned against the doorway.
“That’s the best answer I have.”
“I want to know what this thinks.” I tapped the skin above his heart. My hand lingered. I felt his muscle beneath my palm and the frantic pounding. “Why does this heart think I should go back to my room?”
Mathias caught my hand. He held it out between us, but he never let go. “You’re not making this easy for me.”
“You haven’t made anything easy from the second I met you.”
Mathias shuddered.
“We never finish what we start. You build, build, build. You make me feel like my skin is practically alive and then there’s … nothing,” I whispered.
His eyes zoomed in on my lips and his pupils dilated. I could see the frantic fluttering of his heartbeat against his throat.
His mouth pulled into a grimace as if he was battling something deep inside himself.
“What do you want?” he whispered.
“I want it all, Mathias,” I whispered back.
He swallowed. I watched his Adam’s apple bob. I saw defeat in his eyes. That was the last thing I wanted to see. I wanted him to give into us. To this incredible spark. He looked out into the hallways in paranoia and jerked me into the room.
I had no time to bask in this victory. Or to relish the feel of him touching me. The second the door clicked shut Mathias pressed me against the wall.
His hands cupped my face, jerking my face up. In the far corner of the room a light was on, bathing the two of us in warm light. His eyes were hot, watching me very carefully. He leaned in.
“This is your chance for an out,” he said gruffly and kissed the corner of my lips. “Say no.”
He pushed back, waiting for me to answer. Wouldn’t that be perfect? But no would be a lie. No would go against everything I was feeling.
My fingers marched up his chest and curled around his vest. I jerked him closer. “Yes,” I whispered.
An agonizing groan ripped from his throat. He kissed me hard enough to steal the breath out of me. I breathed through my nose.
His tongue parted my lips. He gently bit down on my lip. I moaned. It was the first moan of mine, but I knew it wouldn’t be my last.
He tilted my head to the side and I went willingly. His hands traced my curves. His fingers pressed into my skin as he moved higher, until they brushed against the underside of my breasts.
His lips grazed my jaw line. I tilted my head back automatically and pressed his head down, encouraging him to go further. There was an entire summer of pent-up lust between us and now we were frantic. Time hadn’t dampened our feelings. Instead, they multiplied, and every touch, every kiss didn’t feel like enough. I was completely desperate to have him kiss every single inch of my body.
I’d always wondered if we ever had a ‘next time’ what it would be like. My imagination would create different scenarios, but in each one, I always vowed to myself that I would go slowly. But I couldn’t.
Mathias’ teeth grazed against my neck as he tugged down the sleeves of my dress. They barely moved. With an impatient growl, his hands moved to the back of my dress, reaching for the zipper. He jerked it down and I thought I heard material tear.
I didn’t care.
The material loosened around my body, and in one fluid motion it pooled around my feet. There I stood, in nothing but my red lace bra and underwear. His eyes were like fire and every look he gave made me burn. This night and everything that happened was fueled by this hidden desire that sparked between us from the very beginning.
“Who was going to see you in this?” he growled.
My lips tipped up. I recognized jealousy when I heard it.
“Who?” he persisted. A wild look was in his eyes.
It was thrilling to see him this way.
I started to unbutton his shirt. My fingers grazed his ribs and his eyes closed. Like my dress, his shirt hit the ground. I splayed my hands across his chest, loving how warm his skin was, and the muscles that jumped at my touch.
“Answer me,” he croaked.
I leaned into hi
m, and looked at him beneath my lashes, and kissed the skin right below his collarbone.
“You,” I said.
His eyes flared in triumph. He lifted me until he was eye level with my cleavage. I felt his warm breath against my exposed skin, making my nipples hard. I didn’t know when I would ever be in this type of position with Mathias and I intended on making the most out of this moment.
One more kiss. This one with more intention, more energy.
He tore his lips away, trailing a path down my throat. He kissed the swell of my breast. Fingers brushed against my nipples, making them impossibly tight. He impatiently tugged the bra straps down, exposing my breast. And he paused, blinking, taking in my bare skin and groaning.
He took a nipple in his mouth and tugged gently. And then he moved to the other breast. My breathing increased and that ache inside of me intensified enough for me to moan loudly. His hands were splayed across my back, holding me so tightly. I laced my fingers into his hair.
Mathias stopped. He looked up at me. His eyes were hooded, but I saw just how much he wanted this.
“Want me to stop?” His lips were impossibly close to my breast. Close enough that when he talked, his lips brushed against my nipple.
I went to answer him. And I planned on saying no, but his tongue snaked out, and flicked against the tip, and instead, I whimpered.
He stood to his full height; hands traced the path back up my chest and went around my neck.
“Innocent Katja,” he murmured.
With his thumbs he guided my head back. A single hand drifted back down my skin. His fingers were whisper soft.
His hands slipped between my legs and very gently, his thumb brushed against me. I started to pant. Instinctively, my legs parted.
Touch me.
Touch me.
Touch me.
The sensations streaking through me were part pleasure. Part pain.
“Mathias. Please,” I groaned.
I didn’t know how much longer I was going to last.
With a quick jerk he ripped my underwear off. I almost came right then and there. I reached out, my hands shaking, and unbuttoned his pants. I heard the zipper. His pants rode impossibly low and I saw his boxers, revealing just how hard he was. Instantly I became wet and boldly reached out. He let me touch him, exploring him like he had explored me. I wrapped my hand around him. His mouth became slack and his eyes fluttered shut. I smiled in wonder.
“Katinka…” he warned.
My grip tightened and moved up and down so slowly that a string of curse words escaped his mouth. I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out and licking his bottom lip.
He moved my hands away from him and placed them above my head. I panted, adrenaline coursing through me. When his bare skin touched mine I gasped.
Our breaths mingled together. He was poised in between me. His legs slightly bent. And then he entered me.
His brow shot up in ecstasy. He groaned and when he was fully inside of me, he stopped. I could feel him pulsating in me and the sensation was indescribable. Part of me wanted him to move. The other never wanted him to leave.
I panted, looking at him through hooded eyes. He held onto me so tightly I could barely breathe.
“Please,” I moaned.
“Please what?” he asked gruffly.
“Move.”
He dipped his head down and whispered into my ear, “Move? Do you want me to move or do you want me to fuck you?”
My breath was stuck in my throat. I swallowed, trying to catch my breath, trying to find enough air so I could answer him.
“Answer me.”
His eyes gleamed with possession and I loved that it was all aimed at me.
I licked my lips. “Fuck me,” I croaked.
His hips circled. I cried out, bucked my hips, maneuvering my body to pull him closer.
Wrong move. His hands snaked out, holding my hips in place. “Do you want it hard?” he asked.
Shouldn’t this be enough? Having him inside of me. Moving. Making me moan? I found myself arching my back. My nails dug into his skin.
“Yes,” I whimpered. “Harder.”
He tugged on my hair, making me jerk my head up to him. Our eyes connected and I saw that deep hunger in his eyes. I saw how much he wanted me and how much he wanted to make me his.
He thrust and my feet lifted from the ground. My legs wrapped around him. The position made him slip deeper into me.
“Katja.” Mathias growled. “Fuck, I’m in trouble.”
Yet, he kept moving. Each surge becoming deeper.
“I’ve been in trouble since the day I met you,” he said. “Haven’t I?”
I couldn’t tell you my name right then. Answering him was out of the question. I dug my nails deeper into his shoulders.
Where he ended and I began was unknown. We felt like one. My lungs were expanding, and I was trying to catch my breath because this feeling was too much. Mathias was too much. He overtook the room with just his presence alone, but having him hold me so tight, and having him love me was on a whole other level.
His fingertips dug into my flesh. Tomorrow there would be bruises from his grip and I wanted them. I wanted those marks all over me.
He was panting. I could feel his warm breath against my neck. I turned my head and brushed my mouth against his cheekbone. He groaned. Mathias was always so hard and impenetrable. No one could break him. Yet when I touched him, some of that hardness seemed to shatter beneath my touch.
“Mathias,” I groaned.
Saying his name broke him further apart. He lifted me away from the wall. He cupped my ass, keeping me against him and walked us toward the bed. When I fell onto the mattress, he fell too. Both arms were braced beside my head.
With hurried movements he took off his pants and boxers, kicking them aside. One of his hands curved around my waist, the other curled around my shoulder, and he slid smoothly back into me. His thrusts became deeper. Harder. His eyes never left mine.
I was losing all feeling in my body. I was losing it all and giving it to Mathias. My legs hooked around his waist. I didn’t grip the sheets or the bed frame. I held onto Mathias. He was my balance.
Just about the same time the truth sank in for me, I think it sank in for him. His eyes widened slightly. He tried to pull out of me.
“Don’t,” I pleaded against his cheek and closed my eyes. “Don’t.”
It didn’t matter how many times I needed to beg. I would.
Mathias never left my arms. With his eyes on mine, he moved in and out. Increasing the speed so when I came so did he.
My name spilled out of his mouth hoarsely, and with his chest heaving, he looked down at me with fear and wonder, and then he collapsed on top of me.
I wrapped my arms around his back holding him tighter, tighter, tighter. I listened to the pounding of his heart and stared at the ceiling.
We may have met through lust, but this was something different. Something better and stronger and altogether terrifying. It had the potential to cement our lives together.
I should’ve been satisfied. Elated. Completely at peace.
Yet there was a feeling in the pit of my gut that this would be the last time I would ever have Mathias this close.
I tightened my grip around his neck and refused to close my eyes.
M A T H I A S
I looked around the room one last time, making sure I had everything.
I was missing one last thing.
Looking over my shoulder, I gave Katja one more look. She was fast asleep, curled up on her side with a peaceful expression on her face. Her blonde hair spilled across the pillow in curls. Her back was exposed and I could see the line of her spine. My eyes slammed shut. I wanted to get right back into that bed with her more than anything.
It was four in the morning and we had already fucked two more times after the first time. I thought I could get her out of my system just once.
I was wrong.
If anythin
g, I wanted more.
After the last time, Katja sprawled over me, holding me as though she knew I was going. I didn’t get out of bed right away. I stayed there until she fell asleep, watching how peaceful she looked.
But now my time was up. I needed to go.
I grabbed my luggage and hurried to the door. I should’ve turned the knob and never looked back, but I couldn’t.
I looked at her over my shoulder. I knew it would be the last time I ever saw her. I felt a pull to her that I’d never experienced before. One that made my mind question if I was doing the right thing. Even my body was fighting it. It wanted to stay with Katja.
Abruptly, I looked away. My fingers curled around the knob.
With my head hanging low, I left the room and walked right into Tobias.
Shit.
I stopped short. From the look on Tobias’ face I knew I was seconds away from getting smashed right into that very door. It was obvious he knew what was going on; his arms were crossed. Quietly, I shut the door behind me. His lips were in a tight line, and his eyes were in narrow slits. Tobias was old, but I didn’t doubt for a second that he could beat the shit out of me, or any guy, that wronged his granddaughter.
Tobias never attacked though. His arms were crossed as he leaned against the opposite wall. He was already a somber looking man, but right now he looked completely enraged.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
I nudged my head toward my luggage. “I’m going home.”
“At four in the morning?” Tobias looked down at his watch. “You aren’t supposed to leave Munich until this Monday.”
“I changed my flight.”
Tobias nodded slowly. Yet it was easy to see he was barely keeping himself contained.
“Is Katja in your room?” This was the question I’d been waiting for him to ask since the second I ran into him. I couldn’t lie to him, no matter how much I wanted to.
I nodded bluntly. “She’s in there.”
For an old man, he pushed away from the wall quickly. He stood very close to me. A vein running along his temple throbbed. “You gave me your word, Mathias.” Tobias said his words crisply and in Bavarian. “How could you do this?”
His words hurt worse than being punched in the stomach. “I didn’t plan this, Tobias,” I whispered darkly. “I didn’t wake up one day and think: ‘I’m going to go after Katja Schwartz!’”