“It kind of gets into you, doesn’t it?” Tank asked. He lifted Brooke from her arms and settled her on his knee.
“For some people,” Haley admitted. “Have you always wanted to live without creature comforts?”
“What comforts am I without? I have my daughter, a warm, snug cabin, all the food we need, clothing, books. What else is there?”
Erika was listening to their conversation. “Don’t you miss electricity and a television? And when was the last time you saw a play or a movie?”
“A book is always superior to a movie. Haley is a big fan of books too.” He pointed to the two books sticking out of the top of her pack.
Haley nodded. “But I don’t know how you stand the isolation. And aren’t you ever afraid that something will happen to the ones you love?”
“Bad things happen anywhere. In the city, you have to worry about—well, you know,” he said, glancing at his daughter. “Here, we’re generally safe if we obey a few normal rules. And with Brooke and Libby around, I’m not isolated.”
Haley glanced at Libby. “Your sister might have a different opinion. Women need the company of other women.”
Libby nodded. “She’s right. I get pretty lonely for someone to talk to about things only women like to discuss. Like hair and makeup, our feelings. When was the last time you told me how you felt about something, Tank? You men keep that all bottled up inside.”
Tank looked away.
“See,” Libby persisted. “Even now you don’t want to talk about it. Especially after Leigh.” She broke off and glanced at Brooke, who had fallen asleep in her father’s arms. “You never talked about how you felt.”
“What good would it do?” he mumbled. He pressed his lips against Brooke’s curls. “It was just something I had to deal with.” He looked at Libby. “You’ve never told me you’re lonely, Lib. I’ll try to get you to town more often.”
“I can go anytime I want. It’s not up to you to entertain me.” Libby smiled and patted her brother’s hand. “Don’t stress over it.”
Haley decided to take pity on Tank and give him something else to talk about. “How did you get into bear research? Seems a kind of obscure profession.”
His shoulders relaxed, and he leaned against a tree trunk. “I had a run-in with a bear early on. I think I was about twelve, and we’d gone to Montana. We were camping, remember, Libby?”
His sister nodded. A thoughtful smile played around her mouth. “You were Indiana Jones that summer, complete with the same floppy type of hat you still wear.”
Tank grinned. “It comes in handy to swat flies. Anyway, it was the middle of the night, and I had to go to the bathroom. I sneaked out of the tent and went into the woods. There were grunts and the sounds of something big moving through the brush. I froze, sure I was going to get eaten. I could smell the stink of my own fear and figured the animal would smell me and come eat me. I didn’t know if it was a cougar or a bear or what, so I started to climb a tree.”
Haley leaned forward as she listened. “I would think that would make you not want to be around bears. It was a grizzly?”
He nodded. “The grizzly came charging out of the trees at me, but I was already higher than it could reach. I screamed for my dad, and he came running out of the tent with his gun.” Tank fell silent, then sighed. “He shot the bear. I climbed down out of the tree. That dead bear was the saddest thing I’d ever seen. It had once been strong and powerful, full of life. It was dead because of my fear. If I’d waited, it would have left. I would have been fine, and it would have been fine. We were in its territory.”
“It gave up its spirit to you,” Denny put in. “That was your sign of what you were to do.”
“I got back home that summer and started to study everything I could get my hands on about bears. By the time school started, I was hooked. I decided then I was going to do what I could to find out more about bears, to help keep them from being wiped out. I was determined to face my fear.” His gaze slid to Haley. “When fear rules us, we are nothing more than a slave to it. It keeps us from making good decisions. I decided I wasn’t going to let fear run my life—or anyone else’s.”
She knew what he was saying, and she bristled. “I do exactly what I want with my life,” she said. “Just because I prefer the city doesn’t mean I’m letting fear rule me.”
“If you say so.”
He said the words so softly only she caught them. She looked away. There was no sense in talking to him about it. He thought there was no place like Alaska. She thought Phoenix ruled the world. They’d never see eye to eye on that.
Tank rose with Brooke in one arm and shouldered his pack on the other. “We’d better get going again. I’d like time to get our camp set up before dinner.”
Kipp bounded to his feet and helped Erika up. “Will we see any bears today?” he asked.
“Probably. We should get to our site before they come down to feed at the river.” Tank began to walk briskly through the brush.
By the time Haley donned her pack and picked up her walking stick, the rest of the group had disappeared. Panicked, she hurried after them. She tripped on a tree limb hidden by a fall of spruce needles and went sprawling. Her camera bag had opened, and all her film and lenses lay among the moss. “Wait,” she called out, scrambling to pick up her belongings. Her voice didn’t seem to carry farther than the berry bushes in front of her. She staggered to her feet and hurried in the direction she thought they’d gone. How could she be so stupid as to get left behind? Hadn’t anyone missed her?
Erika had been chattering to Libby, but surely one of them should have noticed Haley wasn’t with them. If they discovered her missing, could they even find her? She picked up her pace and strained her ears to hear the sound of voices, but the only noise the wind carried back to her was that of rushing water. Maybe they were following the river. She turned in that direction.
As she stepped over some low-lying branches, something yanked on her backpack. She went sprawling again, her face buried in a three-foot-high bank of cotton-grass. She heard a low grunt as someone struggled to get her backpack off her. She gripped both shoulder straps and hung on.
She had no weapon, no way to defend herself. Her left shoulder socket popped, and a wave of agony spread down her arm as the attacker tried to wrench the pack off her shoulders. She cried out, but spruce needles pricked her lips and muffled her scream. Her vision wavered, but she hung on with grim determination. The scuffle seemed to last for hours, but it could only have been a few seconds before she heard the sound of voices calling her name. The tugging on her back ceased, and she heard thrashing through the underbrush. She rolled over but caught only a glimpse of a dark shape melting into the forest.
Sixteen
Tank wished someone else could do this. He didn’t want to inflict the pain he knew he had to. “This is going to hurt.” Tank’s gripped Haley’s forearm and popped her shoulder back into place.
She let out a shriek, and beads of perspiration popped out on her forehead. She sagged against his chest, and he eased her back onto the ground. Her closed eyes fluttered, and then she opened them and stared up at him. Her jaw was set, and she swallowed.
“You okay?”
She nodded weakly. “Thanks. The pain is easing now.”
“I’d better do something about those scratches too.” He pulled out iodine and dabbed it on her face.
“Ouch! Do you enjoy inflicting pain?”
“Blow on it, Daddy,” Brooke instructed.
Tank grinned. He doubted Haley would appreciate it, but he blew gently on the injury. “Better?”
Haley glanced at Brooke and bit her lip. Tank could tell that only his daughter’s presence spared him from the tongue-lashing she wanted to deliver. His grin widened, and Haley’s eyes narrowed. “I think you’ll live,” he said, putting his first-aid pack away.
Kipp paced around the clearing. “You never saw your attacker? Are you sure there was an attacker? These things keep h
appening to you, and no one else sees anything. I’m beginning to wonder if you’re trying to sabotage the shoot. Were you hired by a rival network?” He put his hands on his hips and glared at Haley.
“Don’t be such a jerk,” Erika said. “She’s hurt, and you’re acting like she’s some kind of axe murderer. You’re being melodramatic.”
Tank raised his eyebrows at Erika’s staunch defense. Haley inspired loyalty in everyone. He shouldn’t be surprised his sister and daughter were on her side too.
The angry glare Kipp shot toward Erika should have sizzled the hair on her head. He turned and stomped off toward the river. “Call me when we’re ready to get back to work.” He said the last word with pointed emphasis as if to remind Haley she was his employee.
Her lips tightened, and her brows drew together. She blinked rapidly, and Tank knew she wasn’t as immune to Kipp’s barbed words as she’d like everyone to believe. He held out his hand, and she grasped it.
Once she was on her feet, she brushed at the mud on her jeans. “I’m fine. Let’s get going.”
“Not so fast. Is there anything you can remember about the man? What he looked like, what he was wearing, anything?”
Haley hesitated. “I saw a bit of his sleeve. It looked like a khaki shirt.”
Tank looked at Denny. “You’ve got on a khaki shirt, Denny.”
Denny held up his hands. “Whoa, I wouldn’t hurt Haley. What reason would I have?”
Tank shrugged and turned back to Haley. “Could you tell what he wanted?”
“He was trying to get my pack off.”
“To steal it? Or . . .” He hesitated and looked at his daughter.
Libby took the hint. “Brooke, I’ll read you a story before you nap. Come with me.” She led the little girl off toward the tent.
Haley flushed. “It didn’t feel like a sexual attack. I think he wanted my pack for some reason. But that makes no sense. The camera equipment isn’t valuable enough that someone would keep trying to get it.”
“May I?” Tank held out his hand for her pack. She nodded, and he took it and unzipped it. He knelt beside her and began to pull out the contents. Several books on living in the wilderness, clothing, toiletries, camera equipment—nothing that surprised him.
“See? I don’t get it.” Haley began to repack everything.
“Did you turn over all your film to Chet? Maybe it has to do with the pictures you took of Joe Wooten’s body. What else have you shot?”
She shrugged. “Just the bears, some scenery. Nothing that would warrant an attack on my person.” She fiddled with her hair, twirling a curl around her finger. “I gave Chet the film of Joe’s body.”
He opened her camera bag and rooted through it. “Looks like you have about twenty rolls of film here. Maybe we should get it all developed and see what it shows.”
“Where?”
“We’ll go back to town in a few days. We can drop it off at the general store. They’ll send it out to Anchorage, and it will be back in about a week.”
“A week!” Erika shook her head as if that was not an option. “She’s been attacked several times. We need to find out what is going on before she’s seriously hurt.” Erika dug in her pack and pulled out a wide-toothed comb. “Let’s get the dirt and spruce needles out of your hair.”
“Thanks, Erika.” Haley looked up at Tank. “I’ll be back in Phoenix soon, and this will all be a bad dream.”
The pang Tank felt when he heard her eagerness to get back to the city surprised him. He needed to remember she was as much out of her element here as a salmon atop Mount McKinley.
He rose and dusted his jeans. “I could call in a plane to take the film.”
“There’s no need to jump through hoops,” Haley said. “I’ll just stay close to the rest of you.”
The fire snapped and crackled outside her tent. Haley lay wide-awake. The sun was finally fading, and night was falling with a suddenness that took her by surprise.
Libby lay sleeping with Brooke in the sleeping bag next to her. Haley wasn’t a bit sleepy. They’d reached their camp and set everything up. They’d even gotten some good bear shots. It was after midnight, and she ought to be exhausted, but her eyes refused to stay closed.
She wished Libby were still up. It would be nice to have someone to talk to, but maybe Tank’s sister wouldn’t be the best one. Every time she was around the big man, she felt as tongue-tied as a junior-high girl with her first crush. Not that she had a crush on Tank, she hastened to assure herself. He did intrigue her though. Learning how he’d decided to be a bear biologist had moved her more than she expected. That kind of bravery and dedication would affect any woman, especially when the man in question looked like Paul Bunyan and made her feel every inch a woman. He was so large, yet had such intensity and gentleness. A potent combination.
She sat up and pushed her hair out of her face. Maybe a snack would help her sleep. Light still filtered through the tent. The moonless twilight intrigued her. It never got fully dark. Sometimes Haley thought her life since Chloe died was like walking through this blue haze—never really awake but going through the motions. She rummaged in her pack but found no crackers left. The ingredients for s’mores were there though, if she dared go outside by herself to melt the marshmallows. She looked again at the half twilight. It wasn’t really dark.
She pulled out a Hershey’s bar, marshmallows, and a pack of graham crackers, then eased her stump into her prosthesis and pulled her sweats back down over it. She opened the flap on the tent and stepped outside. Tank was sitting on a rock by the fire. A pulse throbbed in her throat. She knew she should go back to her tent. Tank attracted her way too much to be around him without the restraint provided by the presence of other people. But her right boot betrayed her and moved her closer to the fire.
Tank must have heard her, because his head snapped up, and he turned to stare at her. “Couldn’t sleep?” He moved over on the log and patted the space beside him.
She held out the chocolate and marshmallows. “Here I thought I wouldn’t have to share them tonight if I waited late enough.”
He grinned. “I’ll arm wrestle you for them.”
“You’d win.”
“That’s the idea.” He got up and picked up his pack. “I’ve got skewers especially for marshmallows.” He pulled out some stainless-steel skewers, then poked them through the fluffy white treats.
She took the stick he handed her and put it into the fire. “I like mine burned.”
“Not me. Lightly toasted, just enough to melt it.”
They sat in companionable silence surrounded by the aroma of warm sugar. “I think mine is done,” Haley said. She broke off some chocolate and handed half to Tank, then assembled her s’more. She bit into the warm, chocolaty treat. Sitting so close to Tank, her insides felt as warm as the fire that melted her s’more. She glanced at him from under her lashes as he took a bite of his own dessert.
He was staring back at her. The gooey treat didn’t want to go down past the constriction in her throat. She tore her gaze away. She should have turned around and gone back when she saw him out here. Nibbling at her s’more, she managed to get it down. Her face felt as hot as the red embers radiating at the base of the fire.
He rubbed his hands on his jeans. “Thanks for sharing with me. Not every woman would give up her chocolate.”
“Chocolate I can share. But don’t ask for my powdered- sugar donuts.” She smiled and rubbed her palms against her sweats.
He leaned over to throw another log on the fire. When he sat back, his arm brushed hers. If her face got any hotter, she’d have to go plunge it into the lake. She could only hope he assumed her color was from the heat of the fire.
“I’d better try to get some sleep,” he said abruptly. He stood.
“Me too.” She scrambled up so quickly, she lost her balance and nearly fell against him. He put out his hands and caught her. The press of his fingers against her forearms felt as hot as the warm s’mores
, and just as inviting. She stared up at him. His gaze bore into hers.
He bent his head, and his lips found hers. Haley closed her eyes and kissed him back. Her knees went weak, and she clung to his chest for support. His hands on her back pressed her closer to him, and she was drowning in the emotion she was too cowardly to name.
He tore his mouth away, and his hands slipped to her forearms. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. “Why did you have to come here?”
She pulled away. The power of his kiss was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. Her legs still trembled, and she found it hard to think. Tank dropped his hands, but he continued to stare at her. All she could do was hold his gaze. She didn’t want to care about him, didn’t want to fall in love with him, but she was afraid it was too late.
Seventeen
Tank avoided Haley for the next few days, but he found his gaze wandering to her when he wasn’t vigilant enough to keep his attention elsewhere. He liked to watch her, enjoyed seeing the way the sun glinted off her auburn curls. She had a quick smile for Brooke, and his daughter adored her, even though he’d asked Haley to keep her distance. Why should he expect his daughter to resist Haley when he couldn’t?
The memory of the kiss they’d shared kept him tossing on the hard ground most of that night, and he was only partially successful in keeping his mind from wandering there. He prayed for God to guard his heart. Haley had issues with God, and he didn’t want to get in the way of God’s dealing with her.
Monday morning, he led the group to a large berry patch he knew brown bears frequented. He took along his rifle and a tranquilizer gun. He might as well get some of his work done this trip. Tank got the group settled in a thick patch of alder that would offer them some protection, then got out his tranquilizer gun and loaded it.