There’s nothing like that here.”
“You’d have Tank and Brooke.”
“I know, and that’s a strong draw, but is it enough for a lifetime? I’ve been praying about it, but I’m not getting any clear direction. I would hate for him to end up being unhappy with me because I’m so different from him. I’d be giving up who I am inside. I’m afraid I’d resent Tank after a while.”
“I see what you mean, but I’ve never seen two people more right for one another. I’m sure you can work it out.”
“I just don’t see how.”
“Talk to Tank about it. Here he comes now.”
Haley heard the rumble of the truck, and her heart slammed against her ribs. Would she always react this way when Tank appeared? She stood and rubbed damp palms against her jeans. Oscar began to bark, and she saw Tank scoop him up as Miki lumbered away.
“I’ll be in the garden,” Libby said with a wink. She crossed the wood floor and exited the back door.
The way Tank’s face lit up when he saw Haley made her feel even more nervous. “Hi,” she said.
“Hi yourself.” He dropped Oscar to the floor and approached her with a confident grin. He put his hands on her shoulders and leaned down to kiss her.
She leaned into him and kissed him back. He smelled like the wilderness—fresh air, sunshine, and spruce. Leaving him would be the hardest thing she ever did. She broke the embrace and stepped back. “We need to talk,” she said.
“Somehow I don’t like the sound of that.” His gaze searched hers, but he dropped his hands and stepped back. He folded his arms across his chest. “I’m listening.”
“Can we sit down?” Without waiting for an answer, she walked to the sofa and sat on it with her good leg tucked under her. She patted the spot beside her.
He approached slowly. “Before you start, let me say that I love you, Haley. I love your spirit that surges up no matter what the adversity, I love the way you tilt your head when you’re listening, I love the color of your hair when the sun strikes it and it shines like a new penny. I love everything about you. And if you think having only one leg bothers me, you’re mistaken.”
A glow started somewhere inside at his words. She wet her lips. “It’s not that, Tank. I love you too.”
He straightened and slipped his arm around her. “You do? I was afraid you were about to tell me to buzz off.” He nuzzled her neck. “I know I’m rushing you. We can take it slow. I can wait. We could get married in October maybe.”
She laughed and pushed him away. “That’s slow? And how can we have a serious conversation when I can’t think?”
“Thinking is highly overrated.” He sat back and laced his fingers together over his crossed legs. “Okay, spill it.”
“We’re so different, Tank. I don’t think I can live here forever. I’ve only been here a month, and I’m already missing the malls and the theaters.”
He regarded her with a sober expression. “I’m a bear biologist, Haley. I have to work where the bears are. I guess I could work in a zoo or something, but I’d sure stagnate in a place like that after all my work with wild bears.”
“I know. And I’d stagnate here. I don’t think there’s an answer. If you gave up your life for me, you’d grow to resent me, and if I gave up everything for you, I’m afraid I’d grow to resent you.”
He rubbed his forehead silently. “I don’t want to lose you, Haley.”
“I don’t know what the answer is, Tank. I think I should go back to Phoenix.”
His smile was wry when it finally came. “What a blow to my ego. If you can forget me by going back home, then we didn’t have much.”
“I don’t think I can forget you,” she said softly. “But I think I have to try.” Her vision blurred, and pressure filled her sinuses. She sniffled, and he handed her his handkerchief. “Thanks.”
“You’re afraid of really living, Haley.” He flicked his finger at her camera. “You hide behind your camera instead of stepping out and engaging life. You’re so afraid you’ll fail at something that you won’t even try.”
“Maybe. I’ve failed at plenty of things, Tank, and I’d hate to fail at the most important thing.”
“I think we have something special, Haley. Will you agree to pray with me about it for a month? I believe God will show us the way if we ask him.”
“Okay. I’m still learning about this praying stuff, but I’m willing to listen to what he has to say.”
He took her in his arms. “Just for a little while, let’s forget that you’re a city girl and I’m a country boy.”
His lips found hers, and she found she was very willing to forget all their differences, at least for now.
Haley leaned against the headrest of the car. The parking lot, otherwise known as I-10, stretched as far as she could see. The bright Arizona sunshine beat through the windshield of her Mazda Tribute in a blinding curtain of light. She fanned her face, still hot though she had the air-conditioning going full blast.
“I’ve never seen so many cars,” Joy said in awe. She squinted. “I should have brought my sunglasses.” Joy had been with them for two months now. She’d agreed to move in with Augusta and see how she adjusted to Arizona. She hated the heat but loved the sunshine.
Haley missed Tank with an ache that dogged her every minute of the day. She kept telling herself it would get easier, but even taking Joy to the Scottsdale ArtWalk failed to lift her out of the doldrums, even though she’d gotten some great pictures. She sighed and fingered the camera around her neck.
“I miss Alaska,” Joy said, unconsciously echoing Haley’s thoughts.
“So do I.” What was she doing here? Haley’s gaze swept her beloved Valley of the Sun. This was a place, not her life. She glanced at the visor where she’d jotted a verse from Psalm 56:3. Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. Fear of making another mistake had ruled her life for so long. The thought of change terrified her. Stepping out to a new life was like looking down into a pit of black water. It was easier to go through life one day at a time on the bank without stirring the waters.
The thought struck her in a way she’d never considered. If she did that long enough, she might forget she was alive. Was she going to let her fear of living ruin her chance for happiness with Tank? Her life was what she allowed God to make of it, the path she chose to follow. She could stay here in Phoenix with her life in a nice, controlled, linear path, or she could step through a doorway that led to hills and valleys, joy and despair.Was the joy worth the threat of pain?
She edged onto the shoulder and drove to the exit. Hope began to spring up in her chest like a plant reaching for the sunshine. She’d watched the plants do that in the Alaskan springtime. Maybe spring had finally come to her heart.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to quit plodding on a familiar path. I’m going to go home and pack.”
“Pack for what?”
“I’m going to Alaska to tell Tank I’ll marry him.”
“Yahoo!” Joy bolted upright in the seat. “Can I come too?”
“I thought you loved the sunshine.”
“I do.” Her smile dimmed. “I wish I could live there in the summer and here in the winter.”
“Don’t we all?” Haley turned onto Estrella Parkway toward her subdivision. Fear still slicked her palms, but she would always regret it if she didn’t at least try. She parked in the concrete driveway and ran toward the front door. Joy followed her. Oscar met them at the door.
“Call the airline and get me a ticket while I pack,” Haley told her.
“What about Augusta?”
“She’ll be home from shopping soon. I’ll tell her then. The two of you can join me for the wedding.” Haley hurried across the tiled floor to her bedroom. She dragged the biggest suitcase she owned down from the shelf and began to pack. The doorbell rang, but she ignored it. Joy could get rid of whoever it was.
Oscar nosed among the clothes and grabbed a pair of socks in
his mouth. He crouched over it as if it were his personal toy. She turned at the sound of heavy feet on the tile. Tank stood in the doorway, his massive shoulders nearly spanning the doorjamb.
“Hi,” he said. He shuffled and stared at her as if he’d like to gobble her up.
Haley started to tremble. She wet her lips. “I’ve never seen you without a flannel shirt.” He didn’t look like Paul Bunyan today. His pale but muscular legs stretched out impossibly long from under denim shorts. “And I’ve never seen legs that white. I think I’d better get my sunglasses before they blind me.”
He grinned. “Woman, the things I go through for you. I might even get a suntan if you give me time.” He took a step closer to her. “What would you say if I told you I figured out a way for us to live in Alaska part of the year and here part of the year?”
“How? Your job requires you to be on call.” It was enough to see him and know she was right to make the sacrifice. She didn’t want to hope for more.
“I took a seasonal job in the park, and I got another job with the Phoenix Zoo. I’ll be in charge of constructing a new bear habitat. It will be the first one of its kind in the world. They’re excited to let me continue my research in Alaska in the summer. I think it’s the perfect compromise.” His gaze went to her suitcase. “You’re packing.” His voice held a trace of disappointment.
She took a step toward him. “I had a yen to see Paul Bunyon.”
His eyes widened, and his gaze went to the book on home canning that lay on top of her warm clothing. “Me?”
She nodded, and the words she wanted to say caught in her throat. Instead, she reached up and slipped her camera from her neck, then held it out to him.
Tank’s eyes widened, and he began to smile. He took the camera and laid it on top of her suitcase. “Step out from behind that camera, Haley, and experience life with me. You won’t be sorry.”
“I could never be sorry for loving you.” He opened his arms, and she stepped into them. “I’ll marry you on one condition.”
“Anything,” he murmured, his lips in her hair.
“Tell me your real name.”
He raised his eyebrows and grinned. “After the wedding. I don’t want you to back out.”
“Nothing could make me back out. Give.”
Amusement lit his eyes. “It’s Elmer.”
“Come on, your real name.”
“I’m telling you, it’s Elmer. You still want to marry me and be Mrs. Elmer Lassiter?”
Her jaw dropped. “You’re serious.”
“As a heart attack. If we’re blessed with a son, you have to promise me you won’t ask to name him after me.”
“Can I name a girl after Augusta?”
“You can have whatever you want,” he said, pulling her closer. “I’m going to spoil you so rotten no one else would ever have you. I’m not like your parents, Haley. I’ll love you unconditionally as long as I live.”
His lips touched hers, and Haley wrapped her arms around his neck. She didn’t need her camera or her books. God had given her a second chance, and she was going to seize it with both hands.
Would you like to read more about Samson and his exploits? Read the Rock Harbor Series by Colleen Coble:
Without a Trace
Beyond a Doubt
Into the Deep
To read more about Savannah, check out the following books by Denise Hildreth:
Savannah from Savannah
Savannah Comes Undone
Acknowledgments
Alaska is such a vast and wondrous place that the research was even more daunting than usual. I put out a plea on my writers’ loop at American Christian Fiction Writers (www.americanchristianfictionwriters.com) to ask if anyone lived in Alaska, and two super writers were quick to offer to read the manuscript and offer suggestions. Any errors are mine, of course! My special thanks to Kristen Blincoe and Amy Bang.
I’m blessed beyond all measure to work with my Thomas Nelson family: editor Ami McConnell, who has taught me so much with every book; Amanda Bostic, who keeps us all on schedule and smiling while we do it; visionary publisher Allen Arnold; his assistant and my fellow Hoosier and friend, Lisa Young; publicist extraordinaire Caroline Craddock; creative marketing genius Jennifer Deshler; and amazing cover designers Mark Ross and Belinda Bass. I’ve grown to love and appreciate the Thomas Nelson sales staff more and more. You all are the greatest, and I wish I could give you all a big box of DeBrand truffles!
I’m also fortunate to work with Erin Healy as editor. Writers who think all they have to do is write a book and it’s done have never worked with a good editor and realized how much better it can be after a topnotch editor gets through with it. Ami and Erin both bring so much to the finished product. I’m a revision junkie now. If you like my books, thank my editors!
Thanks to my agent, Karen Solem, who has held my hand through more than one panic attack this year. You’re the best, Karen!
To my critique partners—Kristin Billerbeck, Diann Hunt, and Denise Hunter—who took time out of their own writing days to go over my manuscript and make sure I got this right, thanks a bunch, friends! And thanks to friend Robin Miller who read the manuscript for me as well.
And as always, my heartfelt thanks to my wonderful family. My husband, Dave; my son, David; and my daughter, Kara, have been my cheering section from the first day I sat at the computer to write, even during those long first seven years when no one wanted to buy anything. I love you!
And devoted thanks to my Constant Companion, the Lord Jesus Christ, who has put me in my “sweet spot” and allowed me to write the stories of my heart.
Coming August 2007
These six things the LORD hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren.
PROVERBS 6: 16-19
Experience this ground-breaking novel
by award-winning author COLLEEN COBLE.
AN EXCERPT FROM
abomination
She didn’t know how far she’d driven—all she knew was that it wasn’t far enough. The lights on the dash moved in her vision, growing and receding as she gripped the steering wheel and struggled to hang on to consciousness. Nothing but the moon illuminated this lonely stretch of highway. The digital clock read 8:03.
Panic beat in her chest like a bird trying to escape her ribcage. She had to get away, had to find a place to hide. Her hand touched her ribs and came away with sticky wetness. How much blood had she lost? Her fingers probed the spot again, and she discovered a six-inch gash. Had she been in a car accident?
Her gaze wandered to the rearview mirror, and she moved it so she could see the child in the car seat in the back. Confusion clouded her mind. She struggled to put a name to the little girl who looked to be about two. Her child? Her gaze took in the worn backpack beside the sleeping child, but nothing looked familiar.
A green sign flashed past as the car weaved. Rock Harbor, ten miles. She had no idea where this town was located, not even what state. Maybe she was just tired. Too frightened to think, to plan. Her head ached abominably, and her vision continued to waver.
Headlights haloed with distorted rings of color sprang into view behind her, and the panic surged into her throat again. She pressed her foot to the accelerator.
He couldn’t find her.
The car responded to the acceleration at first. The tires zoomed along the road, their hum sounding loud inside the car. The car receded in her rearview mirror. But her elation faded when the wheel shuddered in her hands. The engine coughed.
“No, no,” she moaned. “Not now.” He would find her. She struggled for a name to put with the danger, but it wouldn’t come. If her head would just quit aching, she could think.
The car convulsed again, then began to slow. The warning lights on the dash blinked, then held steady, glaring
their threat into the night. She fought the wheel as the power steering failed with the engine. The sore muscles in her arms screamed.
She managed to steer the car onto the shoulder of the road. Glancing behind her, she saw the lights were no longer following her. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t back there somewhere. Every moment that ticked by brought him closer.
Cranking the key, she tried to start the engine. “Come on, come on,” she whispered. “Oh God, please help me!” The engine turned over slowly but didn’t catch. She tried again, and it coughed to shuddering life. It wouldn’t run long the way it missed. She had to get the car out of sight, throw him off her trail.
A small path opened between thick, ice-frosted brush. Though it wasn’t a real lane, she pulled onto it and caught the glimmer of moon on water. A plan sprang to life, but she found it hard to think through all the ramifications. She put her hand on her pounding temple and her fingers brushed a significant bump on her scalp, a lump so tender that her misery increased.
With the pain came more nausea. She stopped the car, opened the door, leaned out, and threw up. She couldn’t remember ever hurting so much. She could still feel the knife slicing through her flesh.
A knife. Where had that thought come from? Surely she hadn’t been stabbed. Had she? She groaned and laid her forehead against the steering wheel. Someone had tried to kill her. Somehow she knew this.
The car engine still sputtered. He would find her, kill her, finish the job he’d started. She got out and inhaled the cold night air tinged with moisture. The fresh, clean scent penetrated her mental fog and gave her hope. Staggering and dizzy, she managed to get the toddler out, car seat and all, and set the seat with the sleeping child on the ground. The child’s parka lay inside the car by the backpack. She tucked it around the little girl.
Her vision blackened, and she thumped down beside the child and put her head between her knees. Once her vision cleared, she crawled to the car door again and hauled herself to her feet. She took out the backpack, then sat on the edge of the seat with her feet on the ground. Unzipping it, she checked the contents: a small purse, changes of clothing for the child.