He sighed and brought his attention back to my face. I suddenly wanted to cry. “Pey, I’ve been doin’ a lot o’ thinkin’ since we last talked an’ I’ve realized that I’m makin’ a mistake.”
Don’t cry, Pey! I told myself. Please don’t cry!
“If this barbarian causes you to cry, ma minette, he will answer to me!” Drake responded, reminding me that he was still in my body and my mind.
“Answer to you?” I demanded, thinking it sounded ridiculous. “Remember, you’re in my body, which means he’ll basically be answering to me!”
“Ah, très vrai. Very true,” Drake said in apparent realization and then disappeared back into the deep recesses of my mind.
“A mistake?” I repeated, placing my full attention back on the conversation as I inwardly sighed.
Ryan nodded and then offered me a genuine smile. “I have to get beyond this grief, Peyton,” he continued. “An’ I’ll be honest with you, meetin’ you scared the hell out o’ me.”
“But is that a good reason to end our friendship?” I asked, shaking my head against the tears that were already threatening to break their way through.
“I believe it is a good reason to end our friendship,” Ryan started before taking another deep breath. “Because I want to experience more with you.”
I felt my eyebrows scrunch up in the middle as he completely derailed my train of thought and I went careening into the side of a mountain. “Wha-what?” I asked, rather eloquently.
He chuckled and then took my hand in his as he leaned into me. “Peyton, I screwed up. I was afraid o’ the feelin’s I had for you because I haven’t felt them in such a long time an’ the idea o’ lovin’ someone is frightenin’ to me.”
“Loving someone?” I repeated, my voice sounding ridiculously high.
But he didn’t seem frightened by the word. “Yes,” he answered succinctly. “Pey, I want this to work out between us.” He waved at me and then himself. “I want us to work out because the idea of my life without you isn’t somethin’ I even want to contemplate. An’ the idea of another man sweepin’ you up makes me want to punch somethin’.”
I laughed and almost couldn’t believe I was hearing Ryan say these words because they were so unexpected. I had to half wonder if I was still asleep and dreaming or maybe I’d really lost my mind and was hallucinating this whole thing.
“He makes me want to punch something,” Drake muttered.
“Oh, shut it!” I yelled back at him. He didn’t respond so I figured he’d taken my advice.
“Say somethin’,” Ryan said as I realized that while I’d been having a spat with Drake, Ryan was sitting here waiting for me to come back to reality. “Please tell me I’m not too late with this or that you don’t feel the same way I do?”
I took a deep breath and wasn’t sure if I should just throw my arms around him and cry tears of happiness or jump up and sing “Hallelujah” at the top of my lungs. Fortunately I managed neither and instead just smiled at him while I tried to keep my tears at bay. “When you came here, I thought you were going to tell me we couldn’t be friends anymore and the thought of that made my heart break in two.”
He nodded and dropped his attention to his hands where they fidgeted with my duvet cover. “So you do just want to stay friends, then?” he asked quietly.
“Let me finish,” I said and leaned forward while I shushed him with my index finger against his lips. “What I was going to say was that I can think of no better reason to change the scope of our friendship than by expanding it into a relationship.” I felt my lips split into a huge, beaming smile. “Ryan, I’ve cared about you from the moment you first showed up on my doorstep in the middle of that storm.” I took a deep breath and smiled again. “You had me at ‘Is your roof leaking?’ ”
Ryan chuckled as I laughed and then he reached for me, pulling me into the cocoon of his embrace. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head against his chest as I closed my eyes and listened to his heart beating. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been this happy.
“Will you allow me to give you my opinion on this situation now?” Drake asked.
“No,” I responded immediately. “And don’t tempt me into tuning you out completely!”
“D’accord! Fine!”
“So there is one other thing I screwed up on,” Ryan interrupted in a deep, throaty voice.
I glanced up at him and frowned. “What did you screw up on?”
He tilted my chin and stared into my eyes as he smiled. “Our last kiss.”
I felt myself blushing all the way from my toes to my cheeks. “Yeah, you did sort of botch that one, didn’t you?”
He chuckled and then stood up to his full, impressive height as he stared at me with unmasked yearning in his eyes. “I’m about to make it up to you,” he practically whispered.
I nodded and swallowed hard. “I think I’m about to let you,” I whispered back.
Ryan chuckled, taking the few steps that separated us until he was only a couple of inches from me. He leaned into me, but when I thought he would kiss me, he nuzzled my ear and peppered kisses down the line of my neck instead. “Do you accept my apology for nearly botchin’ everythin’?” he asked.
“Yes,” I answered, even though my eyes were closed and my breathing was growing heavier.
His lips found mine and he wrapped his arms around me.
“Arrêtez! Stop this! You have no idea how completely uncomfortable this is for me!” Drake suddenly shouted in my head and he sounded pissed. “I have never had a homosexual experience in my life and I did not plan on starting in my afterlife! Incroyable!”
Shock ricocheted through me as I realized I’d completely forgotten about Drake! “You’re tuned out!” I said immediately. “I don’t want you to see or hear any of this!”
I had to take a deep breath as I waited for Drake’s response but not getting one, I figured my forcing him out of my head had worked. Or I hoped so.
“Pey, is everythin’ okay?” Ryan asked as he glanced down at me, a wide smile on his lips. “You seem preoccupied?”
I nodded immediately. “Yes, everything’s okay,” I breathed and then let out a little moan as he lifted me up and, holding me in front of him, gave me no choice but to straddle him. He carried me over a few steps to the edge of the bed where he carefully deposited me on my back. Lying beside me, only a few inches of air separated us. He raised himself up on his elbows and then paused for a moment, gazing down at me with what looked like admiration in his eyes.
“Peyton, are we movin’ too fast?”
I immediately shook my head as my belly clinched with the realization that what we were doing was probably going to lead to sex. I mean, we were lying on my bed and the passion between us was so thick, Christopher could have cut it with his lancet.
“Are you gonna be okay if we do this?” Ryan continued.
I immediately nodded but then I realized that maybe he wouldn’t be okay with it. I cleared my throat as I gazed up at him. “Are…are you going to be okay with it? I don’t want to rush you,” I started, but he immediately shook his head.
“I’ve taken the last couple o’ days to make peace with everythin’, Peyton. I’ve done nothin’ but think an’ think some more an’ I’ve reached the conclusion, logically an’ emotionally, that I want to move forward with you.” He ran his fingers through my hair and smiled down at me. “I want you more than I’ve wanted anythin’ in a very long time.”
That was good enough for me. “Then take what you want,” I whispered in response.
Ryan gave me a smile that spoke volumes. Coupled with the burning passion in his eyes, I felt my breath catch in my throat. A flurry of butterflies quivered through me, fluttering on a breeze of elation. I just couldn’t believe that Ryan and I were finally getting down to it, that sex was in the cards at last. It felt like such a long time coming and I’d imagined the moment so many times that it hardly felt real.
I watched him l
ower his body on top of mine. He was tender and careful to distribute his weight so he wouldn’t crush me. He pushed his hips between my legs and the breath caught in my throat. He was so close to me! So close I could absolutely feel his excitement for me stirring against my inner thigh.
And his scent! All I wanted to do was close my eyes and inhale it—a mixture of soap, Tide detergent, spicy aftershave, and the natural aroma of his skin.
“I’ve never met anyone like you,” he whispered into my ear as he brought his mouth to my neck after peppering kisses along my collarbone. I didn’t say anything because I was too busy trying to mentally record in rapturous detail exactly what his kisses felt like. He kissed me down to the line of the top of my nightgown, and when I thought he might make a play for my breasts, he simply started up the line of my neck again, aiming toward my chin. Such a tease!
When he reached my face, he pulled away and smiled down at me. “You’re beautiful, Peyton.” He pushed a stray tendril of hair behind my ear and grinned broadly. “So beautiful.”
I couldn’t speak, and hoped the enormous grin that stretched my lips was response enough for him. His eyes crinkled at the corners and his smile broadened into a smile that was just as wide as mine. Before I knew it, his lips fastened on mine. They were so soft and moist. I wrapped my arms around his expansive chest, pulling him toward me as tightly as I could. I loved the feel of his large, warm body against mine.
I whimpered when his tongue pushed into my mouth. As soon as he heard my small cry, he responded by pushing his pelvis against me. His tongue eagerly sought mine and I ran my hands through his hair as our tongues mated. He pulled his pelvis away from me only to thrust it forward again. In glorious response, I moaned and broke the seal of our tongues. I craned my neck backward and arched up toward him, closing my eyes as I focused entirely on the tingling between my thighs. It was beginning to burn but felt delicious…not so much pain as it was an urge for satiation.
“Tell me what you want, Pey,” Ryan groaned as he pulled himself up onto his arms and continued to grind against me with his lower half.
“You,” I answered breathlessly, yanking him back toward me again. “Isn’t it obvious? I want you.”
“No,” he chuckled, shaking his head, obviously playing with me. It was like he’d become possessed by a demon whose sole purpose was to taunt me.
“Oh my God,” I grumbled.
He continued to chuckle, obviously enjoying my disquietude. “What do you want, Peyton? Tell me what you want.”
I pushed up onto my elbows and narrowed my eyes as I realized his game. A smirk formed on my lips when I spotted his erection, which was straining against his pants. In response, I spread my legs wider and arched up against him, moving up and down along the length of him. I watched him swallowing hard as he dropped his head back and closed his eyes. “Now you tell me, Ryan, what you want,” I demanded, smiling victoriously when he opened his eyes and focused on me.
He chuckled for only a moment before suddenly nodding. The expression on his face said he was meeting my bet and raising me. “I want nothin’ more,” he started as he pushed against me with a wicked smile, “than to be inside you.”
I gulped and said nothing at all because his words were turning my lower half into a swimming pool. I couldn’t remember the last time I wanted a man so badly, or the last time I’d been this turned on. After considering it, I realized I’d never been this turned on before. I wanted to feel Ryan pushing inside of me more than I’d ever wanted anything. “Kiss me,” I groaned as I gripped the back of his neck, pulling him against me. His kiss was much more urgent this time. Our tongues met instantly and we groped one another blindly. Ryan ran his hands through my hair as I pushed mine underneath his shirt and was thrilled when I felt his muscular abs. I worked my way up to his pecs, which were…rock hard.
“Take your shirt off,” I demanded. Ryan cocked an amused brow at me as he sat up and pulled his shirt over his head. I was immediately in awe. His chest looked like it could have been on the cover of Men’s Fitness magazine. “I must have been very good in a previous life,” I whispered, unable to pull my eyes from his magnificent body.
“Not as good as I was,” he mumbled and chuckled as his hands found the hem of my nightgown, which he started to pull over my head. I glanced down and as soon as the white cotton material met my eyes, memories of the possession ritual began to consume me. With the remembrances of Christopher and Lovie and the ritual itself was the realization that Ryan had no idea that Drake was also playing tenant in my body.
You have to tell him! I yelled at myself. Before this goes any further, he needs to know that Drake is a part of you!
But I suddenly couldn’t bring myself to tell him. I wasn’t sure how he’d take it. I still wasn’t exactly sure how I was taking it.
I took a deep breath and pushed away from him, watching his eyes go wide. “I, uh, I think that maybe this is going a bit too fast for me.” I said the words even though my body fought them. The truth was that I wanted nothing more than to feel Ryan pushing inside of me but I also knew that wasn’t fair to him—not when he didn’t have all the pieces to the puzzle.
“Oh,” he said in absolute surprise before he pulled away from me and took a deep breath. “It’s okay, Pey, this does seem very fast and I, uh, I apologize. I just couldn’t keep myself from you once I made the decision that this, that you, were what I wanted.” He took another breath. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I replied immediately while wanting to smack myself across the face. “Let’s just slow things down for now, okay?”
He nodded and smiled down at me, reaching for me as he wrapped me in his arms. “Your wish is my command,” he said softly.
TWO DAYS LATER
It was rainy, cold, and windy when Christopher and Lovie returned to host the exorcism on my house. Even though it was the middle of the day, the skies were so gray, it looked like it was closer to dusk. I’d debated the subject with myself repeatedly and even come to the decision that Ryan deserved to know, I still hadn’t told him about Drake’s new home. And I’d also decided that today wasn’t an ideal day to tell him. Instead, I pretended I wasn’t feeling well and asked him to cut his construction day short and, of course, he obliged.
But then came the difficult part of getting him to leave before Christopher and Lovie’s arrival. One thing I could say for Ryan was that he gave Florence Nightingale a run for her money when it came to tending to the infirm, or the pretending-to-be-infirm. Once I made the case, though, that I wanted nothing more than to sleep for a few hours, he finally acquiesced. Well, with the agreement that I would call him as soon as I woke up. I could only hope that the exorcism wasn’t going to be a long-winded one.
“I do believe you will never inform le barbare about me,” Drake said in a pouty tone. It was the third or fourth time he’d brought the subject up in the course of two days. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought Drake imagined the conversation wouldn’t go over well…
“Don’t be silly,” I answered as I tried to multitask by checking the time on my phone for the umpteenth time. Christopher and Lovie were due to arrive in two minutes. “Of course I’m going to tell him! ”
“Vraiment? Really? And when would that be?” Drake persisted. I could see him in my mind’s eye crossing his arms against his chest and tapping his foot impatiently. What was interesting was that whenever Drake and I had conversations in my head, I always envisioned him in the flesh. That is to say that he wasn’t just a random, floating voice. I wasn’t sure if the imagery of Drake was something my own mind created or a picture he was projecting.
“The next time I see him!”
“Humph!” He ground out, the image of him in my mind frowning. “Je le croirai quand je le verrai! I shall believe it when I see it! Quite like the fact that you still haven’t allowed me beyond the periphery of this house!”
Recently, our conversations either revolved around arguments about the “barbari
an” or arguments about when I was planning on taking Drake on the grand adventure known as life beyond the confines of our home. For the last few days, though, I hadn’t wanted to venture anywhere because my body was achingly tired. That and I knew I’d need to be in the right frame of mind to explain things like cars, traffic lights, supermarkets, Starbucks…the list went on. So far, I just couldn’t find the energy so, instead, I’d basically hidden out in my house.
A determined knock sounded on the door. It was a knock that could only belong to Christopher because it was as adamant and curt as he was. Pulling open the door, the smile dissolved right off my face when I recognized Ryan standing between Christopher and Lovie. And he was frowning. “Can we come in?” Christopher asked impatiently when it appeared the cat had gotten my tongue. “We have to prepare.”
I just nodded and stepped aside as he and Lovie brushed by me. Ryan took a few steps toward me and then paused when he was in the threshold of the doorway. “So much for bein’ sick,” he started.
“I, uh…,” I started as I searched for an excuse. “I didn’t want to involve you in this, Ryan, because I figured it was my business.”
“Your business?” he repeated. “I thought we both agreed that we were a team now?” He shook his head and exhaled. “Not only that but I would’ve liked it if you’d talked to me first before goin’ through with this exorcism.” Well, that answered the question as to whether or not Christopher had informed Ryan as to why he and Lovie were at my house. “This sort o’ stuff isn’t to be taken lightly,” Ryan finished as he exhaled heavily.
“There’s really nothing to be worried about,” I answered and brushed away his worry like it was a mosquito buzzing around my head.
“There’s everythin’ to be worried about,” he rebuffed.
“Like what?” I asked, playing the role of devil’s advocate because the truth was that I was nervous about the exorcism too.
Ryan cocked his head to the side and frowned. “Sometimes these things don’t go as planned, an’ if that’s the case, all hell could break loose.”