“Get out here, Zach,” Kyle’s voice came from the hallway. “You’re definitely on shit patrol this morning.”
“Be right there.” I kissed Lark once more, this time at the hollow of her throat.
“Go, before you catch hell,” she murmured.
With great reluctance, I did.
Kyle was waiting in the barn with the shovel. He and Kieran did the milking while I took the least popular job. It was just the three of us today.
Shit patrol meant seeing to all the cow poop collected overnight in the barn. It traveled on a conveyor system from the gutter behind the cows into a pile outside the building. But the cows didn’t exactly aim for the gutter, and a great deal of shoveling was necessary to clean things up.
As Kyle pressed the shovel into my hands, he said, “This is for ruining all our sleep last night.”
Right. There were two directions I could take this: humor or silence. “It wasn’t a lengthy interruption,” I said. Not that I’d had a lot of experience in the matter, but I was willing to bet the whole encounter had set some kind of land-speed record. Lark and I had attacked each other as if the Apocalypse was imminent.
“The hell it wasn’t,” Kieran grumbled from across the room, maneuvering the milking hoses into position. “Maybe you had pleasant dreams after four thirty. But after treating the rest of us to basically a porno sound track, it was woody city in the bunk room.”
Right. Silence would have been the way to go.
“Welcome to the land of the living, man,” Kyle said. “Now we can teach you the secret handshake.
I flipped him off, and Kieran laughed. “Do you feel different?” he asked in a campy voice.
“Who feels different?” a female voice asked.
“Nobody,” Kyle answered quickly. “What do you need, Aunt Ruth?”
My face heated immediately, wondering how much Mrs. Shipley had heard.
“Will Jude and Griffin be coming in for breakfast this morning? Or did they already go to work at the bungalow?”
“They wouldn’t miss breakfast,” Kyle guessed. “I’m pretty sure they only went to let the plumbers in.”
Ruth disappeared, and the others stopped ragging on me and went to work. With my head down, I began shoveling. Kieran had been kidding when he’d asked whether I felt different. But the truth was that I did. My body had a lazy easiness brought on by intense sexual satisfaction. But I also had the equally unfamiliar sensation that something good was just beginning for me.
I wanted more of Lark, and not just sex. I wanted Lark as a girlfriend. That was a word that felt unfamiliar on my tongue and sounded childish to my ear. But the vocabulary of relationships wasn’t something I’d ever had to think about.
It didn’t really matter what we called it. I wanted to feel Lark’s heartbeat against mine when I fell asleep at night, and hear about her day just before we fell asleep. I wanted to bring her a cup of coffee in the morning, and tug her closer for a kiss.
And I had no idea if Lark wanted the same.
As soon as possible, I’d have to stumble through that conversation. I didn’t want Lark to think that it had happened by accident, that I’d taken advantage of her out of lust and proximity.
Then there was Griffin to worry about. He’d warned us away from Lark.
I tipped a spade full of cow poop into the trench. Maybe shit patrol was actually kindness. The ammonia smell of concentrated cow shit was a pretty effective libido killer.
* * *
After the morning chores, it was time for breakfast. I was absolutely famished. We all headed towards the farmhouse, with me bringing up the rear. It was tempting to sprint ahead, towards the dual reward of food and Lark. But that would bring on all sorts of comments I could live without.
But Lark wasn’t in the kitchen, and when I carried my plate into the dining room, she wasn’t there, either.
Griffin and Jude arrived a moment later, plates in hand. When they seated themselves at the table, I risked a look at Griff, wondering whether he was going to chew me out later. The girl is off limits, still rang in my head.
But as his gaze settled over me, it was appraising, not angry.
It didn’t matter, anyway. I regretted nothing.
“Did the plumber arrive?” someone asked.
“Yep. He’s already on the job. Is there coffee?” Griff looked around. “Where’s Lark?” he asked, probably because she often took charge of the coffee.
“I’ve got it!” Ruth called from the kitchen. Then she came trotting in with mugs for Griff and Jude. She poured a warmer for me. “You look tired this morning.”
“He would.” Kyle snickered from across the table.
Mrs. Shipley, thankfully, had spent years around the men and boys and their jokes. She moved off with her coffee pot without so much as a raised eyebrow.
It was one of our quieter morning meals. Dylan was already on his way to Burlington for classes. May and Ruth brought their plates into the dining room, and then only Lark was missing.
“This is why I stayed overnight,” Jude said, lifting a piece of bacon. “My job is great, but there’s no midmorning break for a hot meal and coffee.”
“Good thing they pay twice as much as I do,” Griff pointed out.
“Good thing,” Jude agreed. He pointed his strip of bacon at me, and I knew what was coming next. “You going to call Marker today?”
“Maybe,” I grunted. “Have to think about it.”
“What’s this? Is there an opportunity for Zach?” Ruth asked, lifting her mug.
“Could be,” Jude said. “Marker’s thinking about starting a tractor maintenance service.”
“Ah!” Ruth said. “That’s right up his alley.”
I was saved from more of this conversation by the sound of the kitchen door flying open. A moment later, Lark’s flushed face appeared in the doorway. “So sorry,” she said. “I fell back to sleep after my alarm went off.”
Kieran smirked and Kyle snickered. “Tired?”
My blood pressure shot up, and I turned to level Kyle with a glare.
The smile slid off his face, and he went back to his eggs.
“What?” May asked, looking from me to Kyle, and then to the other buried smiles on Jude and Kieran.
Lark’s gaze found mine, and there was amusement in it. Her smile told me not to worry. That a comment from Kyle wasn’t the end of the world.
I pushed my chair back. “Have a seat,” I said to her, as if nobody else was in the room. “I’ll get you a plate.” Then I left the dining room without touching her, even though I wanted to. There were too many curious eyes. So my hug could wait.
In the kitchen I used Ruth’s spatula to lift bacon and the last portion of scrambled eggs onto Lark’s waiting plate.
May followed me into the kitchen. “Is everything okay?” she asked, clearly puzzled about the weird vibe in the dining room.
“Sure,” I said, grabbing a fork for Lark.
May poured another mug of coffee and then tipped some milk into it, the way Lark liked. “What did I miss?”
“Well…” I gave a nervous chuckle. “Nothing bad,” I said, passing her without further comment. Back in the dining room, I set the plate down in front of Lark, also without comment. But I ran a hand down the back of her head, allowing myself a single glancing contact with her silky hair.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“Anytime.” Then I sat down and finished my breakfast.
18
Lark
I stayed to clean up after breakfast. I was still kicking myself for sleeping late. It was almost more embarrassing to let the Shipleys cook me so many meals than it was to have a screaming orgasm in earshot of the men.
Modesty had never been all that important to me. But pulling my weight really was.
While we washed dishes, May kept sneaking looks at me. But she didn’t say anything because her mother was working with us.
Finally, Ruth went outside to collect eggs i
n the chicken coop. As soon as the door closed behind her, May tossed the dish towel onto a hook. “Okay, spill. What the heck did I miss?”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why? Because I want to know! And why do the guys get to know something I don’t?”
Oh, boy. “They, uh, heard it happening.”
May’s eyes got huge. “You fooled around with someone?”
“Yeah.”
“Wait… Oh my God! It wasn’t Kyle, was it? That’s why you’re not telling me.” May shuddered. “That’s just gross.”
I gave her an evil grin.
“Oh my God! Nooooo!”
I laughed. “It wasn’t your cousin. Jeez. But you’re funny when you’re freaking out.”
“You bitch.” May’s face grew confused. “So…”
I watched the synapses fire behind her eyes as she did the math. She grabbed my wrist and squeezed. “Are you kidding me? You fooled around with Zach?”
I nodded.
“Oh. My. God!” May held a hand over her mouth. Then she dropped it and asked, “Did you…deflower him?”
Ugh. “Hello, this is 1865 calling. They want their word back. And besides—virginity is just a construct invented by men to subjugate women.”
But she wasn’t finished being shocked. “I had no idea you liked him that way.”
“Well…” The shock on her face put me a little off kilter. “It sort of snuck up on us.”
She blinked at me for a long moment. “Daphne will die of jealousy.”
“Don’t tell her,” I yelped. “Jeez. Besides…” I shrugged. “I don’t know if it was just a one-time thing.”
“What does Zach think?”
“I don’t know! What if you gave us a minute to process it? You told me Zach holds his cards close to his vest. It just happened, okay? I didn’t know you’d freak.”
My best friend looked away. “I’m not freaking. Just surprised, that’s all.”
A prickle of unease crawled up my neck. Was she jealous? That seemed unlikely. May never mentioned Zach. “Do you think I’m not good enough for him?”
“Don’t put words in my mouth!” She finally met my gaze. “I do know this—you’ll go back to Boston in a few weeks, back to your job. And he’ll still be here. I just hope that’s okay with him. Just treat him carefully, okay? He is really special. And he doesn’t have much experience with loving anyone.”
This entire conversation had given me a blood pressure spike. I knew Zach was special. Nobody knew it better than I did. And May made me sound aloof. Like I’d waltz back to Beacon Hill and forget this summer ever happened.
I was never forgetting this summer. Or this spring. Or any other damn thing, apparently.
May was watching me now, a look of concern on her face. “I really didn’t mean for that to sound harsh. There’s nobody better than you, Lark. But you’re worldly and always on the move. And Zach isn’t. I just don’t want to see either of my friends get hurt.”
I took a deep breath and let it out, trying to expel my anger. If May had a real glimpse at the tangled jungle of my emotions, she wouldn’t describe me that way. I didn’t feel worldly or daring anymore. I just felt tired. And scared out of my mind all the time.
May didn’t know that, though, because I was such a shitty friend I’d never said so.
“I know Zach is special,” I said quietly. “Neither of us meant to start something. But we’ve spent a lot of time together, and he’s completely irresistible to me.”
May smiled, and she seemed to recover her usual humor. “He’s so handsome. And he doesn’t know it, either. Which sort of doubles his appeal, right?”
I made a noise of agreement, just picturing him hovering over me in bed. “When he takes his clothes off, it doubles again. I probably have a sunburn from all the hotness that is Zachariah.”
May grabbed a glass of water off the counter and pretended to douse herself with it.
“Oh, stop.”
She grinned, putting down the water. “I would just like to point out that you have all the sex in this friendship. It’s always been true.”
“Not all of it. You had a smoking-hot boyfriend our junior year.”
Her face seemed to close up at the mention of James, who I’d never liked. But he had been a looker. “Pretty long dry spell lately,” she said with a sigh. “But I guess it’s my own fault. I haven’t exactly put myself out there lately. I wanted to settle a little first. Make my peace with my drinking problem.”
“But that’s going well, right?” I asked. I still hadn’t figured out how to talk to May about it. And she didn’t ever volunteer anything. Talk about holding your cards.
“Yeah,” she said, closing the last of the cupboards overhead. “I have to leave now for a ten o’clock lecture. See you tonight?”
“Of course.”
She gave me a quick hug, then left for school. I went outside to offer my services to Zach or whomever was working in the orchard today. I waved at Ruth in her garden, then walked toward the sound of a mower in the orchard. The Cortlands were ripe and heavy on the trees, and I wondered how many bushels we could sell at the market in Montpelier tomorrow.
I found Zach on an orange Kubota tractor, mowing the grass between a row of apple trees. When he saw me, he cut the engine. I walked toward him as it sputtered and died. “Hi there.”
He gave me a big smile. “Hi yourself.” He got off the tractor and approached me, taking my hands in his. “Feeling okay this morning?”
“Never better. You? Were the guys merciless?”
“Eh.” He shrugged “There was some ribbing. But it had a desperate quality to it, you know? As if Kyle is all confused now because he doesn’t know what to tease me about anymore.”
Standing on tiptoes, I laughed. And then I kissed him.
Strong arms closed around me. His kiss was slow, his lips measuring mine as if trying to make sure he had all the details in place. I felt a happy zing of longing as he changed the angle and deepened the kiss.
Yessss. Desire was a lovely drug. I wanted more of it.
But Zach pulled back eventually. “Can we talk for a minute?”
No. “Really? This is our only moment of privacy, and you want to talk? Have I taught you nothing?”
I kissed him again, and he chuckled into my mouth. “You kill me,” he whispered. “What I have to say won’t take up too much time, okay?” He cupped my face in one of his hands.
“Are you going to say we shouldn’t have done it?” I looked up into his serious blue eyes. “Because I have no regrets.”
He shook his head slowly. “I wasn’t going to say that. But I want you to know you’re important to me. It wasn’t just an itch I wanted to scratch.”
I tried not to squirm under all that blue-eyed attention. “You’re important to me, too,” I admitted. He really was. I couldn’t imagine getting through these past several weeks without his steady presence at my side. Just don’t fall in love with me, I inwardly begged. I’m a wreck and a half.
He smiled again, and I tugged him into a kiss. He came willingly. One kiss became two, which became…we lost count. At some point Zach turned me to the side and hoisted me onto the Kubota’s seat. He stepped between my knees and kissed me again, his long fingers sweeping up my back.
It was glorious. He smelled like freshly mown grass and sunshine. I snuck a hand up under his T-shirt to skim those perfect, golden abs. I loved how silky his chest hair felt under my fingertips. He moaned softly when my fingertips retreated downward again, toward the waistband of his Carhartts.
I became aware of Griffin’s voice in the distance. He was saying something about Cortlands. But I thought I could have one more kiss before he interrupted us.
But no.
“Lark?”
Unfortunately, that second voice did not belong to Griff or one of his cousins. I pulled away, giving a panting Zach a gentle nudge backward, and craned my neck to see past him. The two people standing beside Griffin we
re not who I was expecting. “Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?”
Zach practically leapt away from me, his head swinging toward the end of the orchard row, eyes wide as my parents walked toward us. There was no way they’d missed the fact that we’d been lip-locked a few seconds ago.
“This is a surprise,” I said, my voice not entirely welcoming. They’d shown up without telling me, which made me feel like I was seven years old. My eyes traveled from my mother’s tiny face, which suited her tiny frame, up a good foot and change to my father’s stern expression. “Did somebody die?”
“No!” my mother said, her lips pursed. “We just wanted to see you.”
“Okay,” I said slowly, still feeling I was missing something. “So you both just drove up…on a Monday morning? A workday?”
“You told your mother that Mondays were quiet. No tourists and no markets,” my father said. “So here we are. Aren’t you going to introduce us?” His glance shifted to Zach.
I was still playing catch-up. “Mom, Dad, this is Zachariah,” I said quickly. “Zach, these are my parents who don’t call before they come to visit.”
“Lark!” my mother’s voice was sharp. “If I thought there was a chance you’d answer the phone, I would call more often.”
“It’s nice to meet you, ma’am,” Zach said, extending a hand first to my mother. “Sir,” he said, shaking my father’s hand next.
“Well, someone has manners,” my mother muttered, looking up at Zach.
Zachariah’s face colored with embarrassment. I could only imagine the guilty thoughts in his head right now. It had been five or so hours ago that he’d been naked and moaning in my bed.
At last my brain caught up to the situation, and I clapped my hands. “So you both blew off work on a Monday to watch me pick apples?”
“You don’t have to work,” Griffin said from the end of the orchard row. “You all should take a walk. Show ’em the view.”
“That’s very kind of you, Griffin,” my mother said, smiling up at him.
“We should have brought bikes,” my father mused. Back in the day we’d all gone for bike rides on family vacations. I’d forgotten that until he said it.