Page 16 of Corona


  "With regard to the command monitors … Personally, I believe Captain Kirk should not have been overridden, that he was conducting himself in the best manner possible, and that his action, or inaction, did not jeapordize the Enterprise, the mission or …" He had almost said "the universe," but that sounded comically grandiose. "Or anything else. I will recommend adjustments in the command monitors as well."

  There was no further testimony. Kirk adjourned the meeting, and after the room was cleared, walked alone to his quarters. Halfway there, he was hailed by Mason. "May I speak with you, Captain?"

  "Certainly."

  She walked abreast of him, looking down at the deck. "What do you think of the monitors, Captain? Personally, I mean."

  "Finishing your story?"

  "I don't know," Mason said. "Perhaps. I don't feel much like a reporter now. I don't know what I am, exactly. I've … become very involved in the story. I'm no longer objective."

  They arrived at the door to his quarters. "Personally, I'll tell you. But only off the record."

  "All right."

  "Off the record," he reiterated, "I think the monitors were correct. I have a hunch that firing at the station gave us a few extra seconds, maybe minutes. I don't know how, but that's what I feel. I hesitated, because I was concerned about Spock, the Vulcans, you … I was too concerned." He opened the door and stepped inside.

  "Will you request that the monitors be removed?" Mason asked.

  He shrugged. "You know, there's another aspect …"

  "Still off the record?"

  "Yes. If the monitors hadn't been there—if I hadn't sensed they would take over, and remove the responsibility from my shoulders—would I have fired on the station?"

  "Would you have?"

  "I don't know. It's a question I'll have to live with."

  He shut the door and went to his desk to make an entry in his personal log, but it was several hours before he could bring himself to begin.

  Mason joined Veblen in the officer's lounge. "Share a table with me?" Veblen asked. She agreed and they picked up their trays of food from the autochef.

  "I suppose you know what the ship's scuttlebutt is," Veblen said. "Word's gotten around about your debriefing."

  "I wasn't the only one. I wasn't even the only human. There was Chekov, Spock and the six Vulcans from the station."

  "But you were the only one who could testify about Corona's motivation. That's the scuttlebutt, anyway. Is it true?"

  She shook her head in dismay. "I'm supposed to be a reporter. I'm not supposed to be the center of a story."

  Veblen urged her to continue. When she refused, he reminded her of an earlier conversation. "As one outcast to another," he said. "How do you know about Corona's motivations?"

  "You're so very curious," Mason responded. Her grin was thoroughly wicked.

  "I have my reasons," Veblen said. "I thought you might be able to clear up some mysteries."

  "Why don't you ask Corona yourself? Through me, if you believe that's possible."

  "You mean …"

  "Eat your lunch. We've all got problems."

  In the next sleep period, in Uhura's quarters, she listened to the communications officer singing old African lullabies. There was a song about children harnessing the clouds of a very old mountain, and riding them from sleep to dawn.

  Within Mason, there was a reaction not entirely her own … a feeling of the deepest pleasure, and nostalgia.

  It did not alarm her. It was, in fact, something of a comfort.

  "You know," she said when the song was over, "that Mr. Spock is quite a fellow …"

  Uhura laughed and reached out for Mason's hand. "That a girl," she said, squeezing her fingers.

  Captain's Log, Stardate 4997.54.

  While I wrestle with some very troubling thoughts, I look back over what's happened … and a sensation of the deepest astonishment overcomes me.

  My crew, myself—we're all fallible, capable of many different kinds of failure. The Vulcans are … I was about to say "only human," but I mean in the sense they, too, are limited. Now I look back over Mason's confidential testimony … and though I suspect she has hardly told us everything, I marvel.

  What other group of human beings has ever experienced a life as broad, as surprising, as full as the crew of this ship? We have seen things, been places, accomplished missions almost beyond imagining … at least for a staid, romantic fellow like myself.

  Sometimes, however, I think I would have been just as content to pilot some system craft between planets. At least then, I wouldn't have to live with this ache, this fear that I am not fitted for my task … that if I had been left to my own devices, perhaps the Galaxy … the universe! Dear God … would no longer exist. Can anyone face such a test, such a judgment?

  What an incredibly strange universe this is, that a cry from its very infancy can echo across all eternity … and pose such challenges for me, for us all.

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