Trying REALLY hard not to. But I’m obviously not trying hard enough because the memories aren’t going anywhere. So I take a deep breath and say, “Okay, fine. I’ll talk. The kiss was hot. Amazing. Incredible. You were right—clearly I was missing out by never having experienced a kiss from someone magical. And now I know, so thank you. Can we move on?”
He crosses his arms. “I still don’t get it. Why do you want to move on? It’s not like you kissed me simply because you were bored and had nothing else to do at the time.”
“Oh. Well, since you know so much about my motivations, maybe you’d like to tell me why I kissed you.”
Ryn throws his hands up. “Are you really not going to admit it?”
“Admit what?”
“You have feelings for me, Violet. Why is it so hard for you to say that?”
“Because it isn’t true.” I hug my knees tighter. “And because if it were true you’d only end up hurting me.”
“That’s ridiculous. If we have feelings for each other and we want to be together, why would I be stupid enough to hurt you?”
“Well, you probably wouldn’t do it intentionally, but after a while you’d get over whatever feelings you might have for me. I know you like the company of Undergrounders, and I can never be as exotic or exciting as the beings you’ll find down there.”
He walks forward and leans toward me with both hands on the bed as he says, “I don’t want to be with any Undergrounder, V. I want you.”
Those three words send shivers up and down my arms, but I can’t help wondering how many other girls he’s said the same thing to. I shift away from him. “You say that …”
“I mean that.”
“You think you mean it, Ryn, and you probably do right now, but it won’t last, and where will that leave me?”
“Violet. This … what I’m feeling …” He seems to be struggling for words. “It’s so much more than anything I’ve ever felt for anyone. It’s threatening to explode out of me. How can you tell me it won’t last?”
I shrug, shake my head, and look at my knees. “I don’t know. I only know one thing for sure, and it’s that you’ll break my heart.”
“No. I could never hurt you again, V. I mean it.” He steps back and tugs his hair. “What do I have to say to make you believe me?”
This conversation needs to end. I’m terrified that if it goes on much longer I’ll give in. And as much as I want to—and I really, really want to—I know instinctively that when Ryn breaks my heart it’ll be ten times worse than the pain I felt after Nate betrayed me. “There isn’t anything you can say, Ryn, or anything you can do. And it doesn’t matter, anyway, because I don’t feel that way about you.” Liar, liar. “Things were good when we were friends. Why can’t we just leave it at that?”
He lets out a humorless laugh. “You don’t feel that way about me? Now you’re just lying.”
“I am not.”
His expression is incredulous. “Yes, you are.”
How does he freaking know that? Is it written all over my face? Am I really that terrible a liar? “You have no idea what I’m feeling, Oryn.”
“I know exactly what you’re—”
“You don’t. End of conversation.”
“YES I DO! Aren’t you listening to me? I know what you’re feeling! I feel what you’re feeling! You think you’re the only one in Creepy Hollow graced with a dose of extra special magic? Well, you’re not. I feel every single flipping thing everyone around me is feeling, which, when it comes to you, isn’t usually much. But guess what? That isn’t the case anymore. I knew you were panicking when we headed onto the dance floor after graduation because I felt it. I knew that the moment I whispered in your ear while we were dancing was the moment you realized just how much you wanted me because I felt the flood of emotions that suddenly came over you. I felt it again yesterday morning when I was lying next to you in bed, and again when I was kissing you. I know, Violet, so don’t lie to me.”
My mouth is hanging open in shock by the time he’s finished speaking. What he said is absurd. Completely, totally absurd. And yet it makes a horrible amount of sense. Ryn has always seemed extra intuitive. He knows when something is wrong, before I can even say anything. Is this how he guessed my real reason for wanting to get the top graduating prize? He was reading my emotions while questioning me? “What … what am I feeling now?”
He takes a deep breath. “Up until about a minute ago, it was mostly desire and fear mixed in together, but right now, shock is pretty much overshadowing everything else.”
No. Freaking. Way.
My voice is barely more than a whisper when I ask, “How long have you known you can do this?”
“A long time.”
“And you never told me.”
“I—”
“You’ve always known my secret, and yet you never bothered to tell me yours.” Thanks to his stupid ability, he should be feeling the anger boiling inside me right now.
“Violet, I—”
“Get out of my house.”
He grabs his jacket from the back of the chair. “Gladly. If you want to keep lying to yourself, go right ahead.”
Twenty-Five
I pull my shirt straight and run my hands through my hair before knocking on Councilor Starkweather’s office door. There was a letter from her on my kitchen table this morning requesting my presence at an interview this afternoon. I knew Tora was right when she said they’d offer me a job; I just didn’t think it would be this soon. Tora said it would be appropriate for me to wear a dress to my interview, but after my super-tight, super-puffy experiences at the Seelie Court, I’m done with dresses. Instead, I transformed a simple, long-sleeved T-shirt into a shirt with buttons and a collar to go with my pants—and I did a pretty good job.
Councilor Starkweather makes small talk about my visit to the Seelie Court for several minutes before arriving at the reason for this meeting. “The Council has discussed it, and we’d like to offer you a position here at the Creepy Hollow Guild.” She pauses, which probably means I’m supposed to say something.
“Okay. Thank you.”
She crosses her arms on top of her desk and leans forward. “You’re probably aware that we usually give graduates a longer break after graduation before offering them positions at the Guild, but with the recent attack … well, we need as many guardians as we can get, as soon as we can get them. I don’t want to alarm you, but the Seers have been receiving hints of a great battle in our future. No concrete visions yet and, as you know, these things can change, but we want the Guild to be fully prepared in the event of a major attack.”
“I see.” I could have predicted that, and I’m not a Seer. It’s obvious Zell is planning something, so it makes sense there’ll be a big showdown at some point. Guardians versus … well, whatever Zell calls his minions. And when it happens, I want to be there to kick his Unseelie ass. And Nate’s, if he dares to stand against the Guild.
“If you require some time to think about it,” Councilor Starkweather says, “I’ll give you three days. Here’s a copy of the contract.” She hands me a scroll. “Take a good look at it, and, if anything seems unclear, ask me.”
“Sure, okay.” I take the scroll from her and hope she dismisses me soon. I’m eager to get out of here.
My father is coming home tonight.
I clean the house. It isn’t exactly dirty, but I want it to be perfect when Dad gets here. The last time he left this home, he knew he was walking into the fight that would be used to fake his own death. Did he think he’d ever come back? Did he look around at everything and say goodbye? Did he somehow say goodbye to me and I never realized it?
I don’t know what time he’ll get here, so once I’ve finished tidying and darkness has begun to fall, I resort to pacing around and around the sitting room. I hear the wind picking up outside, the leaves brushing against one another in an angry dance. It’s uncharacteristically cool for a summer evening. I hope another magical sto
rm isn’t on its way.
When I hear a knock, I just about fall over the furniture in my haste to get to the doorway portion of the wall. I swear, if this is anyone but Dad, I’m not hesitating to tell them to get lost. I swipe my hand across the wall—and there he his. He’s wearing a jacket with a hood concealing half his face, but I can still see it’s him.
“Don’t hug me or say my name until the door is closed,” he mutters. He slips quickly past me, and I can’t help glancing out into the darkness as I wave my hand to seal the doorway. Dad pushes his hood back and turns to me. “You never know who might be watching. It’s been years, but I still like to be careful.”
“Um, okay.” I can’t believe he’s really here. In our home. I can almost imagine that no time has passed since the last time we stood here together.
But time has passed. We’re different people now. And even though I’ve looked forward to this moment since I said goodbye to him at the Seelie Court, it’s a little weird now that he’s here.
“This feels rather surreal,” Dad says quietly, watching me.
I nod. “It does.” Then I laugh and step forward to put my arms around his neck. Of course this is weird, but the weirdness won’t last long.
We walk to the couch as Dad says, “Everything seems the same here except you. Whenever I think of you and imagine you at home, I see the little girl I left behind. But that’s not who you are anymore.”
“I wasn’t that little. I was fourteen.” We sit down. I tuck my legs beneath me, but Dad sits with his back a little too straight for him to be comfortable. Clearly this is weird for him too.
“But you’ve grown up a lot in almost four years,” he says. “And speaking of growing up, I haven’t forgotten that your birthday is only three days away.”
“Yeah, I think Tora and Raven are planning a—” My words are cut off by another knock against the tree. Dad stands quickly.
“Check who it is,” he says. “If it’s one of your friends, I can come back later.”
I cross the room without bothering to tell him I don’t exactly have friends. I create a peephole, look out, and groan. “It’s Ryn.” I swipe the doorway open. “Yes?”
“Your dad’s here tonight,” he says without really looking at me. “I came to hear what he has to say.”
“Okay, so what are you doing out here? Don’t you normally just let yourself in?”
“I thought I’d be polite and stand outside and knock this time.” He walks past me into the room.
“Okay, but politeness also requires that you wait outside until someone invites you in,” I call after him.
“Whatever.”
When I get back to the couch, Ryn is handing Dad a small vial. “What’s that?” I ask.
“Compulsion potion,” Ryn answers. “I know you’re having your happy reunion, but I thought we should check that he really is who he says he is.”
“Ryn!” I can’t believe his nerve.
“It’s okay, V,” Dad says, unscrewing the tiny lid. He tilts his head back and taps a few drops onto his tongue. He swallows and shudders. “Ugh, that stuff is disgusting when undiluted.”
Ryn touches Dad’s shoulder and says the short compulsion spell, followed by, “You will tell the truth.” Then he takes a seat on the couch opposite us.
“Now that that’s out the way,” Dad says, “will you tell me what you meant the other night when you said you’re already involved with Marzell?”
“Okay.” I’m keen to hear Dad’s story, so I’ll make mine short. “Here’s the bottom line: Zell wants me because of my ability to find people.”
“But how did he find out you have this ability? You’ve kept it a secret, haven’t you?”
“Yes, but he has a spy in the Guild, and that spy somehow heard about a guardian with my skills. Zell didn’t actually find out it was me until Nate told him.”
“Nate?”
“Um, this halfling I was sort of dating. Zell managed to convince him to turn against me, and I didn’t realize it until it was too late.”
“I see.”
Great. Dad’s been home for five minutes and I’ve already managed to disappoint him with my poor choice in boyfriends. “Yeah, so, anyway … I’ve fought Zell a few times, and, obviously, I survived.”
Dad’s eyebrows rise. “You’ve actually fought him? That’s impressive.”
I shrug, as if fighting the Unseelie Prince was no big deal, but I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face.
“This all seems like a horrible coincidence,” Dad says. “Zell threatened your life four years ago because of me, and now he’s after you again for a different reason. He probably has no idea you’re the same person.”
“Well, he knows my full name, so he probably does know who I am.”
“But he never knew my real name. We worked with code names for most of our assignments. I doubt he’d connect your name to me.”
“Oh. Okay.” When Dad doesn’t ask any more questions, I say, “So, are you ready to tell me everything now? The big reason behind why you had to fake your own death and abandon me?” I pull a cushion out from behind my back and wrap my arms around it. “Oh, and I want to know about Angelica too.”
He looks up. “How—how do you know about Angelica?”
“Well, the guy I sort of dated—Nate—is her son.”
Dad’s eyebrows rise higher as he sits forward. “Angelica has a son? And you dated him?”
“Yes.” I hug the cushion a little tighter. “Is there something wrong with that?”
“Not really.” He rubs a hand across his eyes. “It’s just unexpected, that’s all. I didn’t know she had a child.”
“Yeah. Anyway, I only met her once, but she made it clear she hated you and Mom, and I want to know why. I’ve kind of been picturing you guys as training rivals, but her feelings seemed a little intense even for that.”
Dad shakes his head and lets out a long sigh. “We weren’t rivals, V. Angelica was your mother’s best friend.”
Twenty-Six
My mouth hangs open. Angelica was my mother’s best friend? Once again, it seems I have to adjust the picture I have in my head of my parents’ lives. “But … I thought Zinnia was Mom’s best friend. And you and Linden were friends. You all trained together, and then you worked together, and then you had babies, and everything was peachy up until the day Mom died.”
Dad sighs again. I have a feeling this conversation is going to be full of sighs. “You must know by now that life is never that simple, V. I mean, yes, all of that is true. But Angelica was there too, and she made life a lot more …” He holds his hands up. “I promise I’ll explain everything to you, right from the beginning, but first tell me where you met her and what she said to you.”
“Well, it was a little weird, actually.”
“Labyrinth weird?” Dad says with a knowing look.
“Yes. You know about the labyrinth?”
“I wish I didn’t, but I do.”
And the picture keeps readjusting. “Okay, well, Nate and I went down there to find Angelica. She told us that an Unseelie faerie had built the labyrinth and trapped her down there because she refused to give him this item of power she had—a disc.”
“With a griffin-snake symbol on it?”
“Yes. She explained that it had belonged to the powerful halfling Tharros. Apparently while he was still alive he transferred part of his power into several objects so that if he were ever drained of his magic he’d have other sources of power to draw from. She told us we needed to go back to her home in the human realm—where Nate lived—and bring her the disc so she could use it to get out. We didn’t do that, of course. But before we could leave, she recognized me. She and I fought, and Nate and I managed to get out alive.”
“Do you still have this disc?” Dad is sitting on the edge of the couch again.
“Unfortunately not. Nate stole it. I assume he took it right to Zell, who, it appears, has a few more of these discs. Angelica made i
t seem like there was only one.”
“Zell has more of the discs?” Dad closes his eyes and shakes his head. “He must have got them from Angie,” he mutters. “And here I was hoping he’d never find her. Dammit, this is really bad news.”
I wait for him to continue, but he doesn’t. He seems deep in thought, and I don’t want to interrupt him, but I do want to understand why this is such bad news. “Dad?” I prompt.
He takes a deep breath and looks up at me, as if suddenly remembering I’m in the room. “Well, Angelica certainly managed to weave a lot of lies out of a small amount of truth.”
“I guess I was right not to trust her,” I say.
Dad nods. “Okay, this will all make more sense if I start at the beginning.” He shifts into a more comfortable position while I cross my legs beneath me on the couch.
“I didn’t miss anything important, did I?” Ryn asks. I look up to see him coming out of the kitchen with three mugs floating in the air in front of him. I don’t even remember him leaving the room. “Since neither of you were offering any drinks, I thought I’d play the host tonight.” He directs the mugs onto the table and sits down.
“Thanks, Ryn,” Dad says.
“Um, thanks.” I sound anything but thankful, though. It should have been me getting Dad a drink. I pick up my mug and peep inside: Hot chocolate with mini rose-infused star marshmallows floating on its surface and a swirling cinnamon cloud above it. My all-time favorite. I let out a huff. Ryn is acting perfect and it’s annoying me.
“So,” Dad says, “there were five of us. Rose and Zinnia had been best friends since they were little. Linden and I grew up next door to each other, so we were also very good friends. The four of us met when we began our training at the Guild. That was when Angelica moved to Creepy Hollow and joined our class. Soon enough the five of us were inseparable. We sat together in classes, begged to be put in the same assignment groups, and, well, being young, we also got into mischief together.