Slowly there is building up a solid structure of the two different kinds of nature. Later any one who looks at any one will see the nature in them. Sometime then there will be a history of every one.
As I was saying Mrs. Hersland and Madeleine Wyman had neither of them a very efficient nature. They went on well enough both of them from their beginning to their ending. It must be clear soon the nature in the two of them and the difference between them. They had both of them dependent independent nature in them. Madeleine had an instrument nature and stupid being as attacking in her. This is now a history of her.
Mrs. Wyman the mother of Madeleine was a foreign American and always remained very foreign, not to herself but to every one who came to know them the Wyman family in their American living, Mrs. Wyman had independent dependent nature in her. She had in her not very efficient being, about as efficient being as Madeleine, enough to bring Madeleine away from Mrs. Hersland by her trying, enough to have Madeleine later married to John Summer, enough to keep her family going, but none of these were very hard things to be doing, she had not in her a very efficient nature. She had in her about the same efficiency as Madeleine had in her and that will later come to be clearer. She had in her about the same efficiency that her second daughter Louise had in her, Mrs. Wyman had more variety to her nature than her daughter Louise, she had about as much variety in her nature, Mrs. Wyman, as her daughter Madeleine had in her.
Mrs. Wyman then had in her independent dependent nature. The second daughter Louise and the youngest daughter Helen were of her as to nature, they had in them both, independent dependent nature. The daughter Louise had about as much efficiency in her as her mother, she had less variety to her nature, she had no liveliness of cringing in her as had her mother, independence and dependence in the daughter were solid substances inside her, in the mother were more lively and more cringing and more attacking and more lively in their changing. In the youngest daughter Helen there was independent dependent nature but this nature was in her as his nature was in her father, vague and uncertain and wide, and without ever any accentuation. Mrs. Wyman then had independent dependent nature in her. The second daughter Louise and the youngest daughter Helen were of her in their nature.
Mr. Wyman was a foreign American like Mrs. Wyman but nobody felt it very much about him whether he was always foreign, he was foreign, it was not very important to any one excepting his wife and children. He had a dryness of being in him like that in the second Wyman daughter Louise, he had a vagueness in him like that in the youngest daughter Helen, Mr. Wyman then had in him dependent independent nature, the son Frank and the eldest daughter Madeleine were of this nature. The son Frank was like his father only he was always all his life fresher and younger. He had it in him always to have fresher and younger being in him than his father had had in living. He had it in him, the son Frank, with his fresher, younger being to have people like to take care of him, his sister Louise and his sister Madeleine and later his wife and later all three of them with the youngest sister Helen hanging on the outside of them, did this for him. There was in him all through his living fresher and younger being than his father had ever had in him. The eldest daughter Madeleine had in her nature like her father. It was not so earthy in her as it was in her father and her brother. It was not as vague in her as it was in her father, it was never in her so young and so fresh as it was in her brother, it was about as various and as efficient in her as her mother's nature was in her, it was not as solid in her as the nature in her was in her sister Louise, it had in her a little of the dryness that his nature had in her father, the variety and the efficiency that her nature had in her mother. This makes her clearer and now for a history of her.
All four of the Wyman children were born and brought up American. Madeleine had had a governess training. It was really a little more foreign than the training of the other three children. Louise in her training was between Madeleine, and Frank and Helen, these last two being entirely American, being entirely of their American generation in education and feeling. Madeleine was still a little foreign, Louise was between them but education was not really important in her being. She was to be all through her living important in running the family living, in helping and protecting Frank, and then Helen, then Madeleine in her marrying, then Frank in his business of being a nurseryman, then Helen after she came back out of her strange marriage experience back to them, and then Madeleine when she too came back to them with John Summer after their travelling when John Summer was dying of queer ways in eating. Always then she was of the living her brother and sisters had in them. She was not an instrument nature for she was an under-pinning always to them but all her living was her brother's and sisters' living and being.
Madeleine then had lingering in her a little, being foreign. She was American, her brother and sisters were American and her father and mother, in their feeling. They were all of them American, the mother and father were very foreign to every one that came to know them, Madeleine had lingering in her, a little, being foreign, Louise was very American in her feeling, Frank and Helen were simply American. Madeleine and Helen had most of the education, Helen was almost literary in her feeling, Madeleine had had a pretty good education for American governessing. She knew french and German, not as the first governess the Herslands had had knew them but well enough to teach them and talk french and German with the children when parents insisted that there should be talking of french or German. She knew then enough french to teach it to children, enough German to teach it and talk it and to listen with intelligence to Mr. Hersland's explanation of the fine qualities in foreign education. She was not a musician, she knew enough music to oversee the Hersland children's practising, for they had then, that was their father's theory for them, real musicians to teach them, she knew enough music to teach music when there were music lessons to be given, when parents had notions not so completed about education as the Herslands had then. She had a good enough English education, she was not like her sister Helen literary in her feeling, she had in short a good enough American governess training.
Madeleine Wyman came to be a governess to the Herslands, for the Herslands had not come yet to the understanding that for their then family living a governess was not any particular use to them. The children were having then their regular public school living, they had then all the feeling of country children, they had freedom in coming and going, they were then as I was saying more of them the people around them than they were of the family living then though they were then the large part of the family being. They had then their regular public school living, they had then too every kind of fancy education that their father could think would be good for them, they had out of door living and swimming and shooting and horse back riding and perfect freedom, they had not any need then in living for a governess in the house with them. More and more then this last governess became important in their mother's living, more and more then in the children's living she had no meaning, sometimes she would be interfering but mostly she had not even so much importance for them, this will be clearer in the long histories of each one of them.
More and more then this last governess was really then only in Mrs. Hersland's living. She was pleasant enough at moments in Mr. Hersland's living, but she was prominent only in Mrs. Hersland's living. Mrs. Hersland and Mr. Hersland never thought about her not being important in their children's living, she kept on being in the house with them and then came her people's nagging and then the arousing in Mrs. Hersland of attacking resisting and Mr. Hersland had not then about it any very strong feeling. He went, in her action, along with Mrs. Hersland but it was not then important to him. The children then had completely drifted away from governess training, they had then perfect freedom in living, the governess then was not existing for them. This was the last governess the Hersland children had living with them.
John Summer's father had come from the same part of the country as Mr. Wyman. They had known each other in Europe. The old Mr. Summe
r was dead then and his wife John Summer's mother did not like Mr. and Mrs. Wyman and never came to see them. She did not want to know that they were still living in Gossols in the same town with her. John Summer was not a young man now when he wanted to marry Madeleine Wyman, he was much older than she was, about fifteen years older. This match was not the work of Mrs. Wyman, it was only that Summer was used to Madeleine Wyman and he came to want to marry her. Madeleine was willing enough to marry John Summer, he was pretty rich and could go out of business after marrying and go travelling or any thing that would please her. Mr. Hersland thought it a good match for her, Mr. Hersland always wanted girls to use their sense in marrying and Madeleine Wyman certainly ought to marry John Summer. Mr. Hersland always believed girls should have common sense in them, he always gave them advice about saving money and marrying and cooking. He always gave advice to the second governess who was married to the baker, how she should act so that her husband would be contented with her. In his later living he was strong in sensible advice to women in their living. Now he said it would be the best thing Madeleine could be doing, marrying John Summer. Mr. Hersland always gave advice to the second governess who had married the baker, he would stop there and eat a cake and look at her and give her a lecture. He liked the feeling of women and he wanted them to have sense in them.
Mrs. Hersland always wanted Madeleine some time to marry Summer but she wanted it to be put off a little longer so that their feeling would be tenderer, so that there should not be any forcing from Mrs. Wyman. Then too she wanted Madeleine to stay in the house with her for the important feeling in her through her, though she did not know this in her. Now her children were drifting away from being a part in her. Now Mr. Hersland was beginning to have more and more in him impatient feeling and brushing her away from around him. Mrs. Hersland did not know it inside her but she wanted Madeleine in the house with her, she wanted to have from her important being of herself to herself inside her. Now Mrs. Hersland had less and less in her the feeling of her children being in her as inside her, they were getting big then around her and were coming more and more then to be apart from her. She was beginning then more to have her husband forget her, country house living then was an old story to her, they never had visitors any more then and though to herself then she still always had inside her the feeling of rich right country house living, still then it was not lively to her feeling, there was nothing to make it strong then inside her, in her feeling. She had then her early living, her Bridgepoint family being, she had the talking of this to make for her of it to her then a stronger thing in her feeling than it really was in her being. This was then in those years in the middle of her middle living her important being in her talking, and her important feeling; her early living, her marrying and her eastern travelling, Madeleine Wyman was then the important part of her important feeling. Her children were then not living by her being, her husband was then not living by her being, Madeleine Wyman was living by her being, from Madeleine Mrs. Hersland had then all her active important being and this is interesting.
Now it is clear, the kind of being Mrs. Hersland had in her and that which Madeleine Wyman had in her. More and more it is surer that this kind of describing leads to complete understanding of men and women. Sometime then there will be a complete history of every one who ever was or is or will be living.
To some beginning is always in their living, to some ending is always in them to their feeling, in them and in every one, to them. To some, it is different in their beginning, their middle living and their ending, the sense of beginning or of ending always being in them. In many there is always all through their living either beginning or ending always in their feeling, in themselves, in everything that happens to them, in everything that happens to every one.
Sometimes then to one all the world is full of beginning to them, to some then sometimes, all the world is filled up full with ending. To some then sometimes all the world is filled up full with beginning, to some then sometimes all the world is filled up full with ending, to some then sometimes all the world is filled up full with continuing. To some the world always is filled up full with beginning, to some everything and every one is always filled up full with continuing, to some always all their living every one they ever see around them, everything, is ending. There are then many kinds of ways of feeling. Every one has sometime some kind of feeling in them of every one and everything, as always beginning, always continuing or always ending, many have a mixture in them.
Repeating then is in every one, in every one their being and their feeling and their way of realising everything and every one comes out of them in repeating. More and more then every one comes to be clear to some one.
Slowly every one in continuous repeating, to their minutest variation, comes to be clearer to some one. Every one who ever was or is or will be living sometimes will be clearly realised by some one. Sometime there will be an ordered history of every one. Slowly every kind of one comes into ordered recognition. More and more then it is wonderful in living the subtle variations coming clear into ordered recognition, coming to make every one a part of some kind of them, some kind of men and women. Repeating then is in every one, every one then comes sometime to be clearer to some one, sometime there will be then an orderly history of every one who ever was or is or will be living.
Repeating then is in every one, repeating then makes a complete history in every one for some one sometime to realise in that one. Repeating is in them of the most delicate shades in them of being and of feeling and so it comes to be clear in each one the complete nature in each one, it comes to be clear in each one the connection between that one and others to make a kind of them, a kind of men and women. Repeating is a wonderful thing in being, everything, every one is repeating then always the whole of them and so sometime there surely will be an ordered history of every one. More and more then this is a clear thing. Everyone has their own being in them, every one has repeating always in them always of the whole of them, always the kinds of them come to be clearer and the division again into kinds of them. Sometime then there will be an orderly history of every kind of men and women and that will be very interesting.
There is now then coming to be an ending of the beginning of the history of the Hersland family. There are then now living in the ten acre place in that part of Gossols where no other rich people were living. Mr. and Mrs. Hersland and the three Hersland children. There will now come to be a history of each one of the three children and in the history of each one of them more history of Mr. and Mrs. Hersland and more history of the governesses and the seamstresses and servants in the house with them and more history of the families in the small houses near them, and histories of every one they ever came to know in their living, al three of the Hersland children. There is then to be a history of each une of the children, there is then to be a history of the later living of Mr. and Mrs. Hersland, there is then to be more and more a history of everyone who ever was or is or will be living. Sometime there will be written a long book that is a real history of every one who ever were or are or will be living, from their beginning to their ending, now there is a history of the Hersland and the Dehning families and every one who ever came to know them.
This is now a history of the Hersland family being and of the being of the people they came to know in their living. There has now been some description of the Hersland family and their living in the beginning and middle living of Mr. David Hersland and his wife Fanny Hersland. There has been already a little description of them. There will be later more description of them. There is now to be a beginning of the description of the being and the living in each of the three Hersland children. There is now to be a beginning of description of the being of the oldest of them, there is now to be a beginning of a description of the being of Martha Hersland and a beginning of a description of the being in every one she ever came to know in her living. Later there will be a description of the being in all three of the Hersland children and a descrip
tion of every one they ever came to know in their living. Now there is a beginning of description of the being in the oldest of the three children, now there is a commencing a beginning of a description of the being and the living in Martha Hersland the oldest of the children and of every one she ever knew in her living. To begin then.
MARTHA HERSLAND
I am writing for myself and strangers. This is the only way that I can do it. Everybody is a real one to me, everybody is like some one else too to me. No one of them that I know can want to know it and so I write for myself and strangers.
Every one is always busy with it, no one of them then ever want to know it that every one looks like some one else and they see it. Mostly every one dislikes to hear it. It is very important to me to always know it, to always see it which one looks like others and to tell it. I write for myself and strangers. I do this for my own sake and for the sake of those who know I know it that they look like other ones, that they are separate and yet always repeated. There are some who like it that I know they are like many others and repeat it, there are many who never can really like it.
There are many that I know and they know it. They are all of them repeating and I hear it. I love it and I tell it, I love it and now I will write it. This is now the history of the way some of them are it.
I write for myself and strangers. No one who knows me can like it. At least they mostly do not like it that every one is of a kind of men and women and I see it. I love it and I write it.