“What was that about?” he asked Sasha while Rachel and Mason went back to the counter for another round of coffee and pastries.
“It was all a ploy, so he’d take her home.”
“Seriously?”
“Sure. Guys can be severely clueless, so sometimes girls have to give them a nudge. Thomas would like Erin, if he got to know her, and she already likes him, so she came up with a way to make it happen. If he really had no interest at all, he wouldn’t have offered her a ride.”
And Jax thought he was a master strategist. “Would you do something like that to a guy?”
“If I liked him and he wasn’t playing along, yeah.”
“Did you try it with Tyler Hudson?”
“I tried all kinds of stuff, but he never got the hint, which is how I know he really wasn’t interested.”
“Now he’s asking you out. What changed?”
She shrugged. “Beats me, but it doesn’t matter because I’m not interested. At all.”
“Because of me?”
“Of course because of you.”
He finished his mocha and set the cup down carefully, tracing the coffeehouse logo with his finger. “But you said—”
“It doesn’t matter how this is all going to end up. Right now, right this minute, there’s nobody but you.”
Something bloomed in his chest, and he thought maybe it was hope. “Since we have until next week, and we’re going to be together a lot anyway, maybe we could just sort of pretend everything’s normal, and be together like … you know, like …”
“Like we’re going out?”
That awful awkward feeling came over him, and he couldn’t look up from the cup. “Yeah. Like that.” If she said no, if she told him she’d rather just be friends until he was gone, he’d be sick.
“Okay, Jax.”
Jerking his gaze to hers, he asked, “Really?”
“Yes, really. You’re my first boyfriend, and maybe it’s not what I imagined, but I’m crazy mad about you, so yeah, let’s do it.”
Without thinking, he leaned over and kissed her.
Maybe she wasn’t thinking, either, because she kissed him back.
It wasn’t until Rachel whispered behind them, “Get a room,” that they broke apart.
They left right after that, and he noticed as they walked out that Mason and Rachel moved to the back of the coffeehouse, to a small sofa close to the fireplace.
He held her hand and walked her to the car Brody had driven to town from the mountain. “Let’s go for a drive, then I’ll take you home before I come back for Brody.”
She got in when he opened the passenger door, then smiled at him when he got behind the wheel and started the engine. An old Beatles tune was on the radio.
He drove her up into the mountains and turned off on the road to the Mephisto house, parking at the turnout where they could see the whole valley below. He switched off the headlights but left the motor running for the heater. “Nice, yeah?”
“It’s so weird how I can see everything, like there were three full moons, but there’s no moon tonight at all.”
“Does it bug you, being able to do things regular people can’t?”
“It should, but no.”
“So you’re not mad at me for kissing you and making you different?”
“No, not mad. And since every time you kiss me it makes it happen more, I shouldn’t want you to, but honestly? Right now I want you to kiss me more than I want to breathe.”
He silently thanked Brody for taking Key’s vintage Mercedes to the game tonight. The front seat was huge, with no console, nothing to keep him from moving away from the steering wheel and pulling her away from her door to meet him in the middle. “You’re sure?” he managed to ask, even though they were already wrapped together like ivy on a pole.
“Real sure.” She kissed him first, and after that, the world faded away.
Coats came off, then his shirt and her sweater. He held her away from him and stared. She was wearing the black lace bra they’d bought last weekend, with little pearls where her cleavage began. “I never thought I’d get to see you in it.”
“Jax, you’re embarrassing me.”
“What? Why? You’re beautiful, Sasha.” He dropped one hand from her shoulder and traced her pale skin at the edge of the lace. “I thought there was nothing softer on Earth than your lips.”
He was so focused on the swell of her breasts, he almost jumped when her palm touched his chest. “What are you doing?”
“If you get to touch, so do I.”
That she wanted to made him glad.
“Jax, what’s this?” Her fingers brushed his bicep. “I wondered why you had a bandage, but it was to cover this tattoo, wasn’t it?”
“It’s a birthmark. Like your A, except a lot bigger.”
She circled it, tickling him. “It is like mine, only an M, and without the sunburst. It’s really beautiful.” Her fingers moved away from his arm and back to his chest while she kissed him again.
The bra came off and he had no clue who had unhooked it.
He was lost in her, in the feel of her soft breasts beneath his palms and her cool, curious hands against his hot skin, when she shifted so that she was straddling him, one knee on either side of his hips.
This was so not a good idea.
But her taste, her scent, and her beautiful breasts against his bare chest were almost enough to make him lose all reason. He’d never felt the pull of his dark side as strongly as right now, demanding he go ahead, take her, mark her, make sure she could never leave him. It would be so easy. She was as into this as he was, would go along, caught up in the moment.
“Oh, hell!” Grabbing her arms, he lifted her off of his lap and set her on the seat away from him, then clenched his hands into fists and stared ahead, breathing hard, fighting to get himself under control. Nothing had ever been so difficult.
“Jax? What’s wrong? Are you mad?”
He shook his head. “We should go now.”
“I don’t know why you’re so upset. Did I do something wrong?”
He turned to look at her. “No, it’s me. I can’t … it’s not easy to—”
She smiled at him. “It’s okay, Jax.”
That she wasn’t upset, at all, that she understood, or at least tried to, that she was so trusting … he turned and drew her as close as possible, breathing in her scent, burying his face in her silky hair. “Sasha, I …” He didn’t know how to say what he felt, couldn’t put words to it, so he stopped and just held her, wishing
with all his heart she wouldn’t leave him.
“I know, Jax,” she whispered. “Me, too.”
Maybe he wasn’t ecstatically happy, because knowing she would leave kept it from him, but for now, he was content. And for him, that was nirvana.
TWELVE
BEFORE JAX WENT TO GET BRODY AT THE BOOKSTORE, HE dropped Sasha at the Shrivers’. She went inside and was so glad no one was around. Brett was still gone, she supposed, because his Hummer wasn’t in the drive. Melanie’s car was also gone. Tim wasn’t in his recliner, and the house was dark. Upstairs, she knocked on Chris’s door, but he didn’t answer. She opened it a crack and saw he wasn’t there, so she slipped in and laid his chemistry book on his desk.
Then she went into her room and locked the door, calling Boo at the same time. He appeared and leaped into her arms, licking her face with unequaled doggie enthusiasm. She squeezed him tight and buried her nose in his soft fur. “Poor, ugly baby. You are a sweetheart, you know that?” Sitting at the end of her bed, she set him down next to her and pulled her cell from her pocket to dial Amanda’s number.
Her voice mail picked up, and Sasha said, “Call me when you can.” She stared at the phone for a while, wondering and worrying. If Amanda didn’t call back, that wasn’t a good sign.
Taking a seat at her desk, she powered up the laptop and read her wall on Facebook. She’d been friended by fifteen kids from Telluride High, includ
ing three of Julianne’s bees, which made her smile. Take that, Brett.
Tyler had written another message. She replied and told him she hoped he had a great vacay, but she was going out with a guy she’d met at school. She didn’t mention that the guy had almost no control over his insane jealousy because he was a son of Hell, but she was thinking it.
Remembering the question Jax asked her at the coffeehouse, the way he looked, the interest he had in the others, she wondered if maybe she wasn’t the only one changing. If she became more like him, didn’t it make sense that he’d become more like her? Later, in the car, at the end when he hugged her, she couldn’t explain why it was different, but it was. She felt something from him that wasn’t there before.
Her e-mail program dinged, and she opened the window, elated to see her mom had sent another message.
Dear Sasha —
Tim e-mailed to let me know about Melanie telling you what I had wanted to share when the time was right. I’m so sorry you found out this way, and from someone who hates me and despised your father. It must have been hard for you, and I want to talk to you about it soon, but right now I have no cell phone, and very little money, so it will be a while before I can call you. Until then, always know how very much I love you, and how very much Mikhael loved you. You aren’t our natural-born daughter, but no one ever loved a child so much. I miss you terribly, and worry constantly, but I know you are safe there, as you wouldn’t be here.
I think I have found a way to bring you to Russia, to be with me until you go to university, but it will take some time. Be patient and do your best in school.
I love you, very much.
Mom
Did she really have a way to bring her to Russia, or was she just saying that because she felt bad for leaving her behind? She guessed it didn’t matter. If Mom figured out a way, then she’d go to Russia. If not, she’d stay here with Tim and Chris, and it wouldn’t be so bad. After next week, Melanie and Brett wouldn’t be a problem.
She thought about Jax, not seeing him anymore, actually forgetting about him, and tears popped into her eyes. She couldn’t help it. Every time she thought about it, she cried, as if someone was going to die. Knowing that she’d forget him made it only worse.
Swiping at the tears, she wondered if her mom would be able to find a job, where she was living, if the Russian government was making her life difficult because she had defected. She wanted to ask, but she knew her mother wouldn’t give her real answers.
She stared at the e-mail for a while, debating how to reply. Finally, she wrote,
I wish you had told me a long time ago, but I guess I understand why you didn’t. Knowing I’m not your biological child is hard, but it’s so much weirder to know I’m not even legally yours. It’ll take me a while to get used to it, but I will.
I love you,
Sasha
She wanted to work on her college essay, but Jax had forgotten to give her the backup, so instead, she did the rest of her homework, then took a shower and got in bed. Tired and drowsy, she snuggled into the covers, with Boo curled up on her feet, and was almost asleep when she realized Amanda hadn’t called her back.
Sitting up, she reached for her phone and called again. No answer. She told herself it could be all kinds of reasons, like her cell died, or she left it somewhere, or she had it on silent, but she knew in her heart it wasn’t any of those things. Amanda didn’t want to talk to her.
Lying down again, she prayed hard that Amanda wouldn’t join the Ravens, even while she remembered what Jax and Brody told her, that everyone has free will, the ability to make their own choices, even if they’re really, really bad ones.
She woke with a start when Boo growled, from beneath the bed, and she turned over just as her door opened and the overhead light came on. Brett stood there in a pair of navy boxers, with a smug look, his eyes slightly shaded. “You thought you talked her out of joining, didn’t you?”
Oh, no. “Amanda didn’t join. You’re lying.”
He stepped inside the room and closed the door before he headed toward the bed. “Not yet, but she will, and so will others, but only if you back off. I think you need a little lesson so you understand who you’re dealing with.”
Sasha scrambled to get out of bed, standing on the opposite side. “I know exactly who I’m dealing with, but if you think you can threaten me, you’re way wrong.”
“Funny, you don’t look stupid, but since you’re not getting the idea, let me make it real clear how things are gonna be from now on. You’re going to do whatever I tell you, or you’ll be leaving the country within a week.”
The way he was looking her over, she knew he wasn’t just talking about staying out of his way so he could suck people into the Ravens.
If only she couldn’t see him, those shaded eyes and the intent in his expression.
She concentrated until the light went out, but she could still see him.
She almost couldn’t breathe, she was so scared. Instinct propelled her toward the door, and she let out a yelp when he grabbed her from behind. He was hauling her back to the bed, his arms hurting her, when fear overcame all else and she went wild, twisting and shoving until he fell back and stumbled. She made for the door again, but he was there first, breathing hard, glaring at her. He turned the light back on.
“You can’t get away with this.”
He advanced on her. “I can get anything I want, and right now, I want you.” As he came at her and she backed away, he went through a list of all he intended to do—and what he expected of her.
She willed the light to turn off again, and the chair to move from the desk into his path. He fell over it and landed on the floor, cursing at her, furious as he got to his feet and kept coming.
When the back of her legs bumped the edge of the bed, he shoved her and she fell back, bouncing on the mattress. Rolling, she fought for a handhold, desperate to get away from him. He fell on her, his weight holding her down, his hands sliding beneath her, squeezing her breasts so hard, she cried out in pain. With the side of her face pressed against the sheets, she saw Boo scramble onto the bed, teeth bared, growling ferociously. He leaped across the space between them, and Brett got off of her, kicking and punching, trying to get Boo away from him. He was bleeding from scratches and bites, yelling at her to call off the dog.
Sasha hustled to get off the bed and was just about to run for the door when Boo went flying across the room and hit the wall next to the closet, whimpering as his body landed on the floor, then went still.
The door flew open, the light switched on, and there was Chris, also in boxers, his dark hair standing on end, his eyes swollen with sleep. “Jesus, Brett, what the hell are you doing?”
Brett was breathing hard, his leg bleeding all over the rug. “Get out, Chris. This is none of your business.”
Chris looked at her. “Was he going to rape you?”
Silently, tears falling freely, Sasha nodded.
“Brett, you’re a piece of shit. I didn’t know I could hate your guts any more than I already did. Go find some of your Satan worshipper buddies, and leave Sasha alone.”
“They’re not Satan worshippers! It’s not like that.”
“It doesn’t matter. You’ve sold your soul. You’re evil.”
“Come on, are you serious? You’ve been playing Demon Slayer too much.”
“Yeah, and every day, I kill fake demons, wishing it was the real thing. Wishing it was you. Now get out, and if you lay a hand on Sasha, I’ll have every cop within a hundred miles on your ass.”
“She’s not really our cousin. She’s an illegal alien.”
“I don’t care if she’s from Mars. You’ve got no right to hurt her.” He advanced on Brett, raising his fists. “I’ll break your face if you don’t get out right now.”
Brett glared at him, then made a promise to Sasha with his eyes. He’d be waiting until Chris wasn’t there, and he’d be back.
As soon as he was gone, Chris lowered h
is fists and said, without looking at her, “Lock your door, then shove that chair beneath the knob, because he can pick the lock with a paper clip. If he comes back, scream your head off.”
“Thank you, Chris.”
“Yeah, whatever. Don’t ever be home alone, Sasha.”
He was about to leave when she asked, “Why do you hate him? What did he do to you?”
Hesitating at the doorway, gazing out into the darkened hallway, he said, “He stole a story I wrote and gave it to East, who sent it in to a contest as his own and won a ten-thousand-dollar scholarship. It’ll be published, with his name on it, in a science-fiction anthology. I worked on that story since I was thirteen. Three years, and I thought it would go a long way to getting me into college if I could get it published. Then East swiped it, and Mom wouldn’t believe it was mine. Said I was just jealous of Brett and his friends.”
“Did you tell Tim?”
He nodded. “But Dad doesn’t always win their fights, and so I was screwed.” He walked out and closed the door before she could say anything else.
Rushing to Boo, she lifted his limp body from the floor and rocked him back and forth, crying. Poor, ugly, sweet dog. He died trying to protect her. She hated Brett so much, wished more than anything that she could take him away and send him to that deep, dark hole in the ground.
Someone knocked and she stiffened, worried it was Brett. “Who’s there?”
Tim said through the door, “What’s going on, Sasha? I heard a commotion.”
How to answer? Oh, hey, I was just fighting off your son who wanted to rape me.
Before she could come up with a response, the door opened and he came into her room, his frown turning to a scowl when he saw Boo. “Who gave you permission to bring a dog into my house?”
Staring at his eyes in stunned disbelief and horror, Sasha backed away.
Tim had pledged his soul to Eryx.
“Jax, wake up.”
Instantly alert, he sat up quickly and saw Ty standing at the end of his bed. “What’s wrong?”