I moan all the same as his mouth moves down my neck, nipping and sucking its path to my shoulder. I stay sitting, not touching him, not doing anything but enjoying how amazing this feels. He shifts his body and wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me until I’m forced to straddle him. He remains sitting on the side of my bed, his feet touching the floor, but he holds onto me so I don’t fall.
I can feel his cock growing and swelling beneath me, and I squirm as it presses to my very hot, very wet core. God, this feels incredible. “Rainer,” I breathe as he takes the hem of my dress and starts sliding it up. His fingers graze over my hipbones and up my belly, as he takes it over my head. I’m left straddling him in just my bra and panties. He reaches up, stroking a thumb over the swell of my breast. I say nothing.
“How dirty do you like to be, kid?” he rasps, lifting his face so his eyes pin mine. He’s making sure I answer truthfully.
His question shocks me, so for a second I just sit on his lap, staring at him. His thumb is still moving over my breast, and it’s distracting me. I think seriously about his question—well, at least, I try to. I’m not totally sure what he means by dirty. Is he speaking of erotic sex, or erotic games? I have no idea, but I want to find out.
“I don’t exactly know what you’re asking, Rainer,” I breathe.
“Have you ever had these fucked?” he asks, cupping my breast.
“N-n-n-no,” I say in a small, shaky voice.
“Have you ever had a man come on them?”
My thighs clench together.
“No.”
“What about fucking you in the ass?”
I flinch. “No.”
“You ever watched a man’s cock driving in and out of you in a mirror?”
Holy shit, Rainer got dirty.
“No.”
“Have you ever had a man put ice deep inside your cunt, and fuck you?”
I shiver. Ice? Oh my God.
“No,” I squeak.
“What about licking beer from your sweet pussy?”
I swallow. “N-n-n-no.”
“Public sex?”
“Kind of,” I say. “With you.”
He grins.
“All of those things, would you try them?”
I study his face. With him, I’d bend over and take it anyway he wanted to give it, but I don’t want to sound too excited, so I just lick my lower lip and nod. He makes a low, throaty grumbling sound in his chest, and then he takes my hips and rotates them over his cock.
“I thought we were a casual fuck,” I dare to say. “You sound like you have quite a list.”
“There are a good deal of meanings behind the word casual. I’m not done with you yet, and if you’re good with just having fun, then I’d like to do all of those things to you.”
I gasp a little. “Okay.”
“Starting with putting my cock between these sweet tits.”
I nod and he stands, taking me with him. He carries me with a hand on my ass to the edge of the bed. He sits me down and then places a hand to the middle of my chest and pushes me back. I lie down, and he gently moves my body back until my head is against the headboard. He makes light work of stripping my bra and panties off, and my cheeks flame when he stares down at my naked body.
“You’re beautiful, Mali,” he murmurs, tugging at his shorts.
He has no shame. It worries me, because I wonder how many times he’s done this for him to have no care about taking his clothes off in front of someone he thinks he doesn’t know. How many women have there been? Tens? Hundreds? Dare I say thousands? I’d like to think Rainer hadn’t lost respect for himself, but I don’t know what has happened in his life, so how am I to know what drives him?
“So are you,” I whisper, reaching up and stroking a finger down his chest.
He says nothing, but his body does stiffen slightly. He doesn’t stop me, though, or ask me to stop. He takes a deep breath, and then he leans down and kicks his shorts off until he’s fully naked above me. His mouth finds my nipple and I groan as he sucks it in, swirling his tongue around the tip. He does this to both, while I thrust my hips up towards his, feeling the hard, hot length of his cock occasionally grazing my pussy.
He releases my nipples and leans down, rasping, “I’m going to lick your cunt, then I’m going to fuck it, but I’m going to come right here, with my dick pressed deep between your tits.”
I shiver. Holy shit. That sounds so erotic and intense. I can’t wait. All I can do is nod. I don’t tell Rainer that I’ve never allowed a man to give me oral sex. I don’t know why, I just don’t like the idea of it with someone I don’t love. It seems so personal. The night Rainer fucked me, he used his fingers, but never his mouth. Now, for the first time, he’s going to use his mouth.
I’m nervous.
He kisses his way down my body, his scratchy stubble grazing over my smooth skin. When he reaches my pubic bone, he puts some pressure on it with his face and a bolt of pleasure shoots right to my center. He slides off the end of the bed and takes my legs, pulling me forward. Then he lifts them and spreads them wide. A low hiss leaves his mouth and I put an arm over my eyes, nervous and excited all at once.
Rainer drops his head down to my now exposed pussy and inhales deeply. Oh. My. God. He is so out there, like absolutely nothing bothers him. My skin prickles with embarrassment and I pray that wasn’t awful for him. By the rumbling sound he makes low in his chest, it wasn’t. He moves his hand up and slides his finger through my flesh, making me moan with delight.
I love his fingers on me.
“You’ve got a sweet pussy, Mali,” he murmurs, nuzzling his face against me.
“Th-th-th-thanks,” I breathe.
“I’m going to lick you, babe. Hold on.”
Babe.
Babe.
Oh man.
My thoughts are cut short when his tongue slides out and drags slowly from my entrance to my clit. I gasp and my fingers tangle in the sheets beside me. This is the most amazing, strange, incredible thing I’ve ever felt. Pleasure explodes through my core and I start to ache for more. Just a little more of what he’s offering. He obliges, and his tongue swirls quick figure-of-eight patterns around my clit. I don’t know how he gets it to move that fast, but it feels incredible.
“Rainer,” I gasp. “Oh my God.”
His tongue moves fast, flicking and probing, making my clit harden and burst to life. I’m crying out his name, and I don’t care. All I want to do is freeze myself in this moment. I never want it to end. I want Rainer’s tongue in me for the rest of my life. Every single day. My thighs quiver around his head and I push my hips up, wanting him deeper.
He lowers his head down and then suddenly he’s fucking me with his tongue. Oh. My. Lord. I scream in delight as his tongue fucks wildly, driving in and out of my body. I arch up, thrusting and jerking, needing more, needing less, I don’t know. He keeps his tongue in my body while his finger starts rotating over my clit and I come. God, do I come.
“Rainer,” I gasp, mouth open, eyes rolling back.
An orgasm unlike anything I’ve ever felt in my life explodes through my body, bringing shudder after shudder to the surface. My legs tremble, my hips arch and my pussy spasms as Rainer drags every last shudder from me. I don’t even notice him lean over and fetch a condom, from where I don’t know. I just feel his strong, hard body move over mine, and then he’s inside me.
He doesn’t wait. He doesn’t warn me. He just plunges his cock into my ready, waiting pussy. I moan and he grunts as he fills me, stretching me wide, driving home. I curl my legs around his hips and urge him on with my foot, pressing it into his ass, encouraging him to fuck me harder.
“Slow down there, babe,” he grunts against my neck.
“Fuck me harder, then,” I say, throwing sass
“Greedy,” he groans. “I like it.”
I push my heel into his ass and he chuckles, but he fucks me harder. His hips slam against mine and his cock fills me so perfectly I
can feel another orgasm rising to the surface already. I reach up, curling my fingers around his shoulders, digging my fingernails into his flesh. He hisses and grabs my breast, squeezing it roughly.
I love it.
“Come on, Mali,” he grunts against my neck. “Come.”
I close my eyes and arch up, pressing my breasts into his chest. He tilts his hips and then I’m coming, quickly, furiously, and unlike any other time I’ve had in my life. I scream his name for the entire world to hear, and I don’t give a damn. He makes my body ignite, lighting a fire inside me that no water could extinguish. Rainer Torrence has my heart, and now, he has my body.
The moment I’ve finished shuddering, he slides his cock from inside me, frantically tearing the condom off. His cock is swollen and an angry red, but I can’t take my eyes off it as he climbs up my body, straddling my waist. He takes my breasts in his hands, and I know that they’re probably not big enough for what he has planned, but I’m willing to let him try.
“W-w-w-will this hurt?” I ask in a trembling voice as he presses my breasts together.
“It shouldn’t,” he grinds out, as if it’s killing him to hold off. “But if it does, tell me.”
“Okay.”
He squeezes my breasts until they’re bulging together, then he slides his cock between them. It’s hot, and hard, and throbbing, and I can’t stop the whimper that leaves my throat. He moves his hips, causing a little bit of friction, and his eyes seem to glaze over with lust. His hard body moves over mine like a powerful machine, his hips thrusting a little faster to create enough pressure.
I can see his head poking out between my breasts and I want to lean forward and suck it, but I’m not sure I can get to it. I tip my chin down and slide out my tongue, touching it when he thrusts it in. “That’s a girl,” he grunts, getting faster. Obviously he’s pleased, so I do it again the next time his cock surges through. God, he tastes so good.
“I’m close,” he pants. “Tell me if you don’t want this.”
Oh, I want it. More than anything. It’s dirty, but I’m all in for dirty.
“I want it,” I breathe, eyes fixed on his cock plunging between my breasts.
“F . . . F . . . Fuck!” he barks and then it happens.
His cock swells, and strand after strand of white come spurts from the tip. I gasp in happy pleasure as it hits different parts of my body, but what makes it the most thrilling is seeing it up close. The pleasure it brings him is amazing. Pleasure coming from my body. No one else’s. His eyes are hooded, and his jaw is tight as he releases my breasts and encircles his cock with his hand, stroking in hard, short little bursts until there’s nothing left.
Our eyes meet.
A connection. It’s there. It’s brief, but it’s there.
“Wow,” I whisper, licking a drop of come from my bottom lip.
“Fuck,” he says, his eyes following the action.
He slowly moves his body from mine and climbs off the bed, disappearing into my bathroom and returning a moment later with a washcloth. I try not to stare openly at his naked body, but it’s hard. It’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen. My eyes travel over his tattoos and I’m fascinated by the intricate designs marking his skin. My eyes fall to one on his peck, and it seems my world stands still.
I must be seeing it wrong.
I have to be.
I blink a few times, and my bottom lip starts to tremble, because in amongst the arraignment of black ink is a name. You can barely see it in there because of the heavy designs surrounding it, but it’s most certainly a name. Three little letters. Emy. He has my name on his chest, right over his heart. I look away before he can see the tears that threaten to explode over. I close my eyes and keep them that way as he cleans my body.
“You okay?” he asks.
I take a shaky breath. “Ah, yeah.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” I smile weakly.
I expect him to leave, but instead he drops back down onto the bed beside me, taking my hand.
It’s a tiny gesture, but it means the world to me.
If only he knew it.
~*~*~*~
“You have a lot of ink,” I say to Rainer as we lie side by side, staring at the ceiling.
“Yeah. It makes me feel good.”
“I’ve always been too scared to try it out.” I smile.
“It’s probably a good thing,” he murmurs, shifting so our legs touch. “Once you start, it’s hard to stop.”
“Do they have any special meanings?” I ask nervously, wondering about my name on his chest and hoping he’ll answer it.
“Every one of them.”
“Care to share?” I offer and he rolls to his side so he’s looking down at me, elbow propping his head up.
“The ones all over my back are covering scars.”
My eyes widen. “Scars?”
“Yeah, scars. I had a lot of them.”
He never had scars when I knew him. What the hell could have happened to him for him to get enough scars that he had to have them covered? That and his vagueness about the past is making me think he might have been in some sort of accident.
“Did you have a car accident or something?” I warily ask.
“Or something.”
That same answer. Always that same answer.
“That’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. I get that. I respect that.”
No. I don’t. I really don’t.
“Thanks,” he mumbles.
“But I’m still curious about the tattoos. What do the rest mean?” I point to one on his stomach, a long, beautifully carved chain that’s snapped on the end.
“That represents being caught, and being free.”
I run my fingers over it, and he shivers but he doesn’t ask me to stop so I don’t.
“And this?” I ask, stopping at a bright red rose hanging off the end of the chain, as if it’s hanging on for dear life.
“That’s for Pippa.”
I hope he doesn’t realize how my body jerks at that.
“What does it mean?” I force myself to ask in a normal tone.
“The same thing. Only more beautiful.”
Oh God.
“What about this one?” I point to the name over his heart, my name.
“The name or the design surrounding it?”
“Both,” I say.
“The name is a girl I used to know.”
“Used to?” I question casually.
“Yeah, she was my best friend growing up. I know that. I’m vague about the rest.”
“You don’t remember?”
He shrugs. “Things have happened and the memories aren’t what they should be, but I know she mattered to me, at that time, more than anyone in my world.”
My chest tightens and I want to throw my arms around his neck and tell him it’ll all be okay. I want him to know he’s not alone. That he still has that girl and he doesn’t even know it.
“She must have been special to get a place over your heart.”
He smiles and his finger goes to the tattoo, stroking over it. “Yeah,” he says, his eyes a little distant. “She sure was.”
“How come you stopped being friends?”
“I got into bad shit, things happened and . . .”
And. And. And. God, please answer the and!
“And?” I prompt.
“And I was no longer the same man. The past was best left where it was.”
God. I want to scream and protest, to tell him she would have done anything for him to come back, to know he was okay. She would have helped him. God. I would have laid down my life for him.
“I wouldn’t have thought that would matter to someone who was a friend,” I dare to say.
“No, it wouldn’t have mattered, but you know what would have hurt her? Is that I don’t remember a good deal. Everything is hazy. I can’t even recall her face—just a memory of someone I adored. I have vague memories of time I spent with her
, but that whole part of my life is a hazy mess.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, because it’s all I can manage.
But one thing is for sure—Rainer didn’t recognize my face because he doesn’t remember much about that time.
That gives me some hope.
Some.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THEN – MALI
This is lame.
He’s going to hate it.
Why am I doing this?
I stand on Rainer’s front lawn, thankful his father’s car isn’t in the drive because he’d probably come out and lose his shit at me for what I’m about to do. I have to do it, though. Rainer feels as if he’s losing his best friend, and that’s not cool with me. I want him to know he’ll never lose me. The girl I was last night . . . she isn’t who I want to be, and he was right. It might have felt nice at the time, but it’s not what I’m about.
This is what I’m about.
I reach up and press the play button on the massive boom box I’m holding on my shoulder, like from that movie, ‘Say Anything’. It took me all day to locate one, but it turned out Kenny’s dad had an old one in his garage, and he was cool to let me borrow it. Now I’m standing like a fool with it resting on my shoulder because there’s no way I can hold it in the air, and praying that Rainer is in his room.
The music flows out as soon as my finger hits the button and I quickly turn the volume up to Rainer’s favorite song, the one from the movie Top Gun—“Highway to the Danger Zone.” It comes pouring out of the speakers, a heavy, sexy beat that even has my skin prickling. Okay, it’s not romantic, but it’s him, and that’s the point.
The music pounds for what seems like hours, and my shoulder aches. I wonder if he’s not home. That would be completely shit, because my plan kind of requires him to be here. Just as I’m about to lose my nerve, his window slides up and I see his half-naked form peer out. It takes him a moment to realize it’s me and then his eyes widen.
“Emy, what the fuck?” he calls down.
“I won’t stop doing this until you forgive me for being a complete dick-face. I’m sorry, Rai Rai. I was acting like a tart monkey and you were right, it’s not me. So, I’m going to charm you until you forgive me.”
He stares at me, then a big smile spreads across his face and I realize I’ve won him over.