‘Nothing will spoil my wedding day,’ I assure them. And no
one. If Crush doesn’t want me to go back to Chocolate Heaven
and work for Marcus, then I simply won’t. Even though every
fibre of my being is telling me that I should, that it would be
different this time.
‘You’ll still be my bridesmaids?’
‘Of course!’ they all say.
‘What happened to the dresses from last time?’ Chantal asks. ‘Sold them on eBay.’ For a lot less than we paid for them, I
can tell you. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so hasty – that word
again. But then I want to do everything differently with Crush. I
want no shadow of my wedding with Marcus. This will be small,
informal, al fresco. No big frock or big church or big venue. ‘What do you want us to wear this time?’ Nadia asks. ‘I was thinking tea dresses. Floral. Nothing too fancy.’ Or
expensive. Particularly if I’m not working. ‘Would that suit?’ ‘Sounds great,’ Autumn says and the others nod in agreement. ‘Could James come down for the wedding?’ I ask Nadia. ‘I don’t know. We’ll have to see how we get on at Easter.’ I grin. ‘So you are going to see him?’
She wrings her hands and looks anxiously at us. ‘You think
I should?’
‘Yes!’ We are unanimous in our decision.
‘He’s a great guy,’ Autumn says. ‘You should at least give it
a chance to see how things go.’
‘Now I’m really terrified,’ Nadia says.
Lana grizzles from her buggy. ‘Looks like Madam is ready
for her lunch.’ Chantal picks her up and cuddles her. The grizzling stops.
‘Let me have a snuggle while you get her lunch ready,’ I say.
‘She hasn’t seen her Auntie Lucy for days.’
Chantal reaches to hand her over, but gasps in pain as she
does. I grab Lana from her and her hand goes to the top of
her breast.
I frown at my friend. ‘What was that?’
‘Nothing,’ Chantal says. But the colour has drained from
her face. ‘I keep getting these twinges at the top of my ribs.’ ‘I hope you’re going to the doctor,’ Autumn says. ‘I did. I finally managed to get an appointment this morning.
Jacob bullied me into it. The doctor didn’t seem too concerned.
She gave me a good check over and said that she couldn’t feel
a lump or anything. She said it was probably muscular or maybe
a blocked duct. I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about.’ ‘Better to get it checked, though,’ I say.
‘I’m just getting to that age, unfortunately. She’s sending me
for a breast scan anyway, as it’s gone on for a while.’ Nadia, Autumn and I all exchange a concerned glance. That
doesn’t sound good. It’s not like Chantal to be unwell and she
really does look drawn.
‘Want me to come with you?’ I offer. ‘I can look after Lana
while you go in. Don’t go by yourself.’
‘That would be great, Lucy. Let me text you the date.’ She
does so while she stands there and it pings into my phone. I give her a hug. ‘We’ll get you sorted out. We all want our
Chantal fighting fit and as feisty as usual.’
‘Me too,’ she admits. ‘I’m fed up with feeling under the
weather.’
We pay our bill. ‘Where shall we meet next time?’ ‘I’ll look for something,’ Nadia says. ‘There must be somewhere nice and welcoming where we’d look forward to going.’ There is, I think. And we all know exactly where.
Chapter Ten
‘No, Lucy!’ Crush says, emphatically. ‘I won’t have it.’ ‘But—’
‘It’s not often I put my foot down, but I won’t have you
working for Marcus. It’s a ridiculous idea.’
‘But—’
‘No buts.’ He holds up a hand. ‘There are dozens of jobs
out there that you could do. You’ll find something else. Something that doesn’t involve Marcus bloody Canning.’ ‘The salary’s enormous.’
‘I’d rather live off baked beans than be beholden to Marcus
for our money.’
I tell him the exact sum. Crush has the good grace to gasp.
It is a very gasp-worthy amount.
‘I won’t be able to earn that anywhere else, you know that.
I just plucked a number out of my head and he agreed.’ Makes
me wish that I’d plucked a bigger number now.
‘It makes me worry even more that there will be a catch.’ ‘What if I do it – just give it a try – until the wedding? If
it’s not working out then, after that, I’ll leave.’
‘It won’t be that simple, Gorgeous. It never is with Marcus.’ ‘I don’t know what it is with Marcus – why everyone thinks
he has some Machiavellian hold over me. He’s just a bloody
annoying ex-boyfriend, nothing more.’
‘Remember the canal incident in Bruges?’ Crush reminds me. How could I forget? Marcus tricked me into going to a chocolate conference in Bruges, which he just happened to pop up
at. Also due to him, I ended up going for an impromptu midnight
swim in one of the many canals there. If it hadn’t been for
Crush coming to my rescue I could have drowned at the bottom
of that murky and, frankly, rather smelly stretch of water. It
was so humiliating. I had a fish in my bra, a cold in my nose
and a deep loathing of Marcus in my heart.
But, here’s the rub. I’m not the sort of person to hold a
grudge. He’s made mistakes. I’ve made mistakes. Rather too
many of them, it might be said. Who hasn’t? Let he who is
without stain and living in a glass house cast the first stone.
Or whatever.
‘You could get to know Marcus,’ I suggest. ‘Then you might
not see him as so much of a threat.’
‘Why on earth would I want to do that?’
‘For me,’ I say and, as all the fight goes out of Crush, the
doorbell rings. I really hope that isn’t Marcus or I’m a goner.
‘I’ll get it.’
I bolt downstairs to the door, praying, praying, praying that
Marcus Canning isn’t standing there. But he isn’t. It’s my dad.
With a suitcase.
‘Dad? What are you doing here?’
‘I find myself temporarily homeless.’ He is red-eyed and
looks miserable. ‘Patty has thrown me out.’
Patty the pencil-thin Pilates instructor.
‘Oh.’
‘Your mother said that I could stay in the flat for a while.’ ‘That’s very nice of her.’
‘I didn’t know where else to turn,’ he confesses. ‘It was kind
of her to be so accommodating.’
‘Yeah, I’ll say. Has she forgotten that Crush and I live here?’
Technically, my mother owns this place, but she hasn’t been
near it in years. I rent it from her at a knock-down price which
gives me a great address and the ability to take in random
lodgers of her choosing, it seems.
‘It won’t be for long and I won’t take up much room.’ That looks like a very big suitcase to me.
‘Don’t keep your dear old dad standing at the door.’ ‘Sorry, sorry. Come on in.’ It’s just that my brain is trying
to process where my father is actually going to sleep, being as
there’s the slight inconvenience of the flat only having one
bedroom and that being already occupied by me and my loved
one.
‘I haven’t been here in a long, long time,’ Dad puffs as he
hauls his case u
pstairs.
Long enough to forget that he’s going to be on the sofa
tonight, it would appear.
When he comes into the living room, he recoils slightly. Now
he’s remembered just how small it is.
Crush is still a little bit purple in the face after our Marcusrelated spat and he looks even more shaken when he claps eyes
on my dad.
‘Hello, there. Nice to see you.’ Crush recovers well. ‘What
are you doing in this neck of the woods?’
‘He’s come to stay.’ I roll my eyes behind Dad’s back. ‘My
mother said he could. It’s just for a few days.’
‘Or weeks,’ Dad chips in. ‘A couple of months at the most.
Until I can get on my feet.’
‘Well.’ Crush grasps his hand and shakes it. ‘That’s great.’ We all know that it isn’t.
‘This is it, Dad,’ I say, gesturing at the not-very-extensive extent of the lounge. ‘Our humble abode. We haven’t knocked through into next door or gone up into the attic, because there isn’t one. We haven’t gone iceberg with a two-storey basement with staff quarters because the hairdressers might object. There’s one bedroom and you’re on the sofa. I love you to bits, but this
has to be a very temporary measure.’
‘Right,’ Dad says, looking a bit paler than he did before.
‘Right.’
Crush gives me a sideways glance. ‘I’ll put the kettle on.’ ‘Have you got any organic soya milk?’ Dad asks. ‘Patty weaned
me off dairy. She thought I was lactose intolerant.’ ‘No,’ I say. ‘It’s the usual stuff that comes out of a cow’s
bum or you can lump it.’
‘That’ll be fine then,’ Dad says, looking a bit put out. Organic soya milk, my arse. How do you even milk a soya? He glances round him in dismay. ‘Where shall I put my case?’ ‘Anywhere as long as it’s not in front of the telly,’ I suggest.
‘I’d better find you some spare sheets.’
‘I hope I haven’t interrupted your evening.’
‘No, no, no,’ Crush says as he returns with the tea. Yes, I think. Yes, you flipping have. I was hoping to conclude
our evening’s little misunderstanding with some fabulous, mindblowing make-up sex on the rug in front of the fire. That’s
certainly not going to happen now. In fact, these walls are so
paper thin that it’s not going to happen in the bedroom either.
It’s not that I’m an over-enthusiastic moaner or a screamer, but
no one wants sex in the room right next to their parent, right?
I shudder just thinking about it. I wonder if we could get away
with doing it in the bath with the shower running. Maybe not. While Dad is faffing about with his stuff, I pull Crush into
the bedroom. ‘I’m really sorry about this,’ I whisper. ‘I had no
idea.’
‘It’s fine,’ he says, ever affable. ‘We’ll manage.’
But will we? I know my father. He’s very annoying. And has
the hide of a rhino. I don’t like to see him turfed out on his
ear, but we must not make him too comfortable. My dad’s idea
of temporary might not be quite the same as mine.
Chapter Eleven
Autumn adjusted her jumper and looked at herself in the mirror. Tidy. Ish. Not too bohemian. Today, she wanted nothing more than to look like she was capable of being a respectable mother. She’d even tried to tame her mad hair, with somewhat mixed results. Bits kept escaping from the knot she’d twisted it into. In the end, she gave up and let it do its own thing as usual. Perhaps Willow would like her just as she was. Her stomach churned with anxiety simply thinking about it. She didn’t think she’d ever been quite so nervous about anything.
Miles came behind her and slipped his arms round her waist. ‘You look great,’ he said. ‘Stop worrying.’
‘I’m terrified,’ Autumn admitted. She’d arranged to meet Willow and her adoptive mother, Mary, this morning and her stomach was churning at the very thought.
‘She’ll love you.’
‘Will she, though?’ Autumn chewed her lip. ‘What if she hates me and simply wants to tell me that to my face?’ Another wave of nausea rushed up. ‘I’ve never been to a meeting that’s more important to me. It has to go well.’ She felt as if the rest of her life depended on this moment. If it didn’t, she could lose Willow all over again.
‘Are you sure that you don’t want me to come with you? I hate to see you so worried. We could ask Lucy to look after Flo for a couple of hours.’
‘She’s going with Chantal for her breast screening today, so I know she’s not around.’ Autumn had already called Chantal first thing this morning to wish her luck with her mammogram. ‘Besides, much as I’d love to have you there, I think I should go by myself. This is going to be difficult for all of us.’
‘You might be surprised. Keep an open mind.’
Autumn felt a tear roll down her face, making a track in the make-up that she’d so carefully put on for the occasion. ‘I just want her to like me.’ She wiped the tear away with a tissue. ‘That’s all. I want the chance to explain that I loved her and always have.’
‘Surely she wouldn’t have looked for you if she didn’t want to hear that.’
‘You’re right,’ Autumn said and she turned and hugged Miles tightly. He was such a caring man and she felt so lucky that he’d come into her life. She couldn’t imagine it now without him.
‘I’d better get a move on. I’ll sort the kitchen out and take Flo to the park. She’s missing Lewis now that he’s at school every morning.’
‘It won’t be long before she goes herself,’ Autumn said. ‘Enjoy this time with her.’
‘It will be better for us financially when she starts school, and it will mean that I don’t have to work so many evenings, but I don’t want to wish the time away either.’
Autumn didn’t like to point out to him that the last thing they needed to worry about was money. Her parents might be cold and detached, but it meant that they were always keen to dole out cash. Even if what was really needed was emotional support. She shouldn’t complain, though. They’d been generous to her recently and she had a large sum of money just sitting in her account waiting for her to do something with it. She could start a business, give it to a charity, use it to help a friend – there were endless possibilities.
‘I’ll get your coat,’ Miles said and Autumn snapped back to the present.
‘Thank you.’ She went into the kitchen where Flo was finishing her breakfast. ‘Give me a kiss, sweetheart.’
The little girl jumped down from her chair and Autumn cuddled her. Miles had washed Flo’s hair last night and she still smelled of strawberry shampoo. Autumn breathed it in. She really wanted this relationship to work out, as she would love to have another child – one that would be with her, that she’d see grow up. She wanted to teach him or her to walk, talk, make their way in life and only hoped that she’d have a second chance to get it right. ‘Have a lovely day with Daddy. I’ll see you later.’
‘Love you for ever.’ Flo squeezed her with her chubby little arms and Autumn’s heart melted.
‘Love you too, pumpkin.’
Autumn headed to the front door and Miles was standing there waiting, her coat in his hand. Most of her stuff was now spread between their two places. She loved seeing Miles’s toothbrush, his sweaters at her flat, his book on the bedside table even though he could only stay over when it was his ex’s night with Florence. They were already thinking of moving in together but, understandably, Miles wanted to take it slowly and let Flo get used to the idea. Not to mention letting his ex-wife get used to the idea, too. She suddenly seemed to be feeling a little strange about Miles having someone permanent in his life. Autumn just hoped that she didn’t cause any trouble.
Miles kissed her deeply. ‘Call me as soon as you can. Let me kno
w how it went.’
Putting her hands in her pockets, Autumn was surprised to find something already there. She pulled out a bar of chocolate.
Grinning, Miles said, ‘Emergency supplies.’
‘That’s very thoughtful.’ She pecked him on the cheek. ‘Wish me luck.’
‘You won’t need it,’ he said.
They were meeting at a café near Blackfriars Tube – somewhere that Miles had previously used for business meetings and had recommended. How she missed Chocolate Heaven. She would have been more at ease there, in familiar surroundings and with Lucy’s smiling face behind the counter. Meetings as critical as this needed the perfect backdrop. Damn Marcus and his manipulation, although part of her wished that Lucy could go back there. It had been Lucy’s ideal job and Autumn hated to see her friend rudderless without it. It was a shame that she hadn’t been able to buy it instead of Marcus. Perhaps if it wasn’t going well he would consider selling, but it was a huge financial commitment for anyone. Property prices around here weren’t conducive to setting up a small business.
The Literary Café was small and decorated to look like a bookshop. The walls were lined with shelves of battered paperback books; each coffee table had a library desk lamp and was flanked by blood-red Chesterfield sofas. There was a table of the latest bestsellers for sale in the middle. It was as nice and cosy as Miles had said. A good choice. If it wasn’t quite so out of their way, it might have made a good replacement for Chocolate Heaven. Perhaps she would bring the ladies of the Chocolate Lovers’ Club back here for a trial run. Though, no doubt, Lucy would find some reason to dislike it.
There was no sign of Willow and Mary yet and Autumn checked her watch. Ten minutes to go. She ordered a coffee and perused the counter display. Ah. Weakness spotted. Lucy would certainly pour scorn on their poor choice of chocolatey cakes. Autumn chose a breakfast muffin covered in seeds and sat by the window. She sipped at her coffee and nibbled the muffin, even though she wasn’t in the slightest bit hungry, and leafed through the couple of paperbacks she’d picked from the stack on the table without really seeing them.
Her stomach was steadily tightening with anxiety when, at last, a woman came in and looked around nervously. She was obviously searching for someone and Autumn wondered if it was her. This lady was alone, though, and Autumn’s heart sank. If this was Mary then, for some reason, Willow hadn’t come with her.