—Chelsea Baker
It was sick. I mean, the way they played with everyone’s heads. And that thing with the phone and Chelsea Baker’s mom . . . I don’t know, it was just completely sick.
—Paul Burns
“ ‘I know some of the guns going out of [my company] end up killing people. . . . But I’m not responsible for that.’”
—Carlos Garcia, whose semiautomatic TEC-9 is “a gun of choice among drug dealers and drive-by shooters,” People, 1/10/94
Sam [Flach] was sobbing and making these horrible, bloodcurdling moans. Someone yelled out that if they didn’t get him help, he might bleed to death. And one of those boys smirked and said, “You think?” That’s exactly what they wanted. They wanted him to die a slow, wretched death.
—Deirdre Bunson
I heard a metallic clacking and clicking sound. At first I didn’t know what it was. I couldn’t bend around enough to see. Then I realized it was Brendan and Gary reloading.
—Beth Bender
I heard them reloading and looked over at Beth [Bender]. She gave me a miserable look. We’d both realized the same thing: These boys were well armed. They weren’t going to run out of bullets anytime soon.
— Dick Flanagan
Just because someone owns a gun, or likes to hunt or compete in shooting events, does not make him a so-called gun nut. Many people I know own hunting rifles and shotguns, and handguns for self-protection. I can tell you, however, that privately many of us are opposed to semiautomatics. The problem is that once the gun control people get semiautomatics banned, they will go after handguns. And once those are banned, do you know what will happen? Some nut will get ahold of a hunting rifle and kill a bunch of people. The gun control people will use that incident as an excuse to go after hunting rifles.
—Allen Curry
Police estimated that Klebold and Harris fired close to nine hundred rounds during the siege at Columbine.
The police got the idea of using the loudspeaker system. We heard a voice come out of nowhere. It really took everyone by surprise, and they handled it very badly. Instead of trying to reason with the boys, they came on very threatening. Laying out what laws they’d broken and what the consequences would be, and how the longer they waited to lay down their weapons, the worse it would be for them.
I remember trying very hard to imagine what those boys were thinking now. And I thought, Oh, my God, it’s too late. They’re armed. They’re shooting. They’ve already wounded people. They’ve taken hostages. They’ve broken all these laws already. Real laws. Not baby don’t-smoke-in-school laws. If they walk out of here alive, they are going to go to jail for a long time. And we all know about that, don’t we? What they do to you in there. These poor, crazy boys. Maybe the jocks have tormented them here, but it will be a thousand times worse in jail
And that’s when I had an epiphany. Can’t you see why they were doing it? They had no protection. They couldn’t get away from the bullies and tormentors. Not here, not in jail, not anywhere. So why not kill them? Why not kill themselves? What difference would it make either way?
—Beth Bender
In 1992 the District of Columbia adopted a law making gun manufacturers liable for gun deaths. A number of semiautomatic weapons were specifically named in the measure. Several companies simply changed the names of the weapons and continued selling them.
They started shooting at the ceiling. I assume they were trying to shoot out the speakers. The police shut down the electricity. You can understand why they did it, but when the gym went dark, it just made everything that much worse.
—Dick Flanagan
It went dark, and everyone on the floor just started crying and whimpering even more. It was really pathetic. Brendan and Gary turned on their flashlights. I was scared too. I didn’t think they’d shoot me, but I was afraid I might get killed if they blew up the gym or if the police tried to storm in. And as much as I hated Sam Flach, you just can’t let people suffer like that. So when it went dark, I yelled out to Gary that I was there.
—Allison Findley
Nationwide in 1996 more than six thousand students were expelled for bringing guns to school.
As soon as it went dark, kids started inching away from the center of the gym. Those guys would sweep the flashlights over us, and it was like a bunch of giant inchworms crawling around. They yelled at us not to move and went around making sure [the ones who’d moved] went back. That’s when I really got to work trying to get my hands free.
—Paul Burns
It was dark. I don’t know why, but it reminded me of that scene at the end of Titanic where they’re all floating in the icy water, just trying to hold on for dear life. They kept sweeping their flashlights around, keeping an eye on everyone. So you’d see those silhouettes of people lying there. Just like in the movie, people were crying out for their loved ones and sobbing. It was really eerie.
—Chelsea Baker
[Later] I told the detectives that the boys appeared to be caught off guard when Allison called out in the dark. Those flashlight beams started swinging around wildly and then focused on the refreshment table. Allison was standing there. She held her hands up and squinted in the lights. When the boys saw her, Brendan seemed amused. He may have even said something like, “Whoa, this is one strange twist.” But Gary kept asking her what she was doing there. He was quite upset.
—Beth Bender
Look, who’s kidding who? I was scared to death, but when I heard Gary asking Allison why she was there, it scared me even more. You could tell that he expected something really bad to happen, and he didn’t want her to be part of it.
—Dustin Williams
When Allison said she thought they should do something to help Sam, the kids became extremely agitated. Up to that point you didn’t know whose side she was on.
— Dick Flanagan
In 1995 more than one million guns manufactured outside the United States were imported into this country. More than half were handguns.
It was a madhouse. I mean, twenty people started yelling at Allison at once. I guess they thought she could reason with those guys. Get them to give up or something.
— Paul Burns
Brendan started yelling at everyone to shut up, and there was a burst of gunfire. It was insane in the dark. You heard gunfire and had no idea who it was. Was it the police? Those guys? Someone else? And then in the middle of it that girl screamed.
—Dustin Williams
I was right next to Robin [Lewis], so when she screamed, I thought they’d shot her. Brendan was yelling at everyone to shut up, but the wailing and crying just tripled. It was beyond nightmarish.
—Beth Bender
Brendan’s Suicide Note
To the good people of Middletown:
I hope this gets printed in big, bold letters on the front page of the newspaper, because it’s something every single one of you should read. I’m gone now, and you want to know why I took your kids with me?
Here’s why. You made my friggin’ life miserable. How? By the way you raised your kids to all want to be the same and to hate anyone who dares to be a little different. Oh, no, you’re probably thinking, you didn’t do that.
You sure did. I’ve seen you in your cars staring at me and my friends. Look at those creeps. Look at their clothes and the music they listen to. Why can’t they go out for sports or at least root for our team?
Know what? Not everybody has to do what you A-holes want them to do. Maybe your kids did, but me and my friends chose not to. And you and your kids couldn’t deal with that. And so you had to do what stupid, ignorant people always do when they don’t understand—you had to attack and torment us.
And you teachers. I thought you taught us that America is supposed to be about freedom. Kids are supposed to be able to be different without the status quo police smashing us over the head and ridiculing us. But that’s all you teachers did to me and my friends. Just like everyone else, you tried to make us con
form to your narrow-minded expectations of how we were supposed to dress and act.
Well, screw you. Screw all of you. I hope this letter is like a knife in your hearts. You ruined my life. All I’ve done is pay you back in kind.
Respectfully yours,
Brendan Lawlor
The End
Brendan started to shoot again. From the muzzle flashes I knew he was firing at the ceiling. But in the dark like that a lot of kids couldn’t see and didn’t know. They just assumed everyone around them was being slaughtered. You don’t know what terror really is until you experience it yourself.
— Dustin Williams
Robin [Lewis] screamed because she felt warm liquid seeping into her clothes from the floor and thought it was blood. Everyone knows now it was something else. It’s just completely gross.
—Deirdre Bunson
You lose track of how many times you think this is it, you’re really going to die now, but that was certainly one of those moments. Brendan was screaming at everyone to shut up. He probably fired that semiautomatic until he’d emptied the whole clip. There were bullets ricocheting all over the place. A couple of kids were grazed. We’re incredibly lucky no one was actually hit. It was utter mayhem.
—Allen Curry
It got quiet, and I heard those clicking sounds and realized Brendan was reloading. Then I heard Gary say, “Brendan, we gotta talk.” Brendan cursed him out something awful. So now these two guys were arguing. I guess it was something in Gary’s voice. Everyone who heard it started begging Brendan to listen to him. Of course, that just totally set Brendan off again.
—Chelsea Baker
In a situation like that, you search madly for anything to hope for. When I heard Gary say they had to talk, I thought we had a chance. It wasn’t much, but it was all we had. But with all the crying and pleading, Brendan wasn’t listening. So I raised my voice and told everyone to quiet down and let the boys talk.
—Beth Bender
First Brendan was screaming at everyone to shut up. Then Ms. Bender said we should be quiet. Then Mr. Flanagan said it too. It was so weird. They were all agreeing with Brendan. For a second I thought they’d gone over to the other side or something.
—Deirdre Bunson
Everyone [on the floor] started whispering to each other to be quiet and let [the boys] talk. In the dark I heard Brendan say he couldn’t effing believe it. He just couldn’t effing believe it.
—Allison Findley
Gary wanted to talk. Brendan said there was nothing to talk about. They’d chosen their path. So Gary goes, “Things have changed.” Brendan started cursing at him and saying nothing had changed. The rest of us just lay there listening to it. Here were these two crazy boys discussing whether we’d live or not. Our lives were totally in their hands.
— Chelsea Baker
Like any other business, the gun industry must constantly introduce new products to keep buyers interested and enhance profits. People who buy computers look for more memory and faster chip speed. People who buy guns look for increased killing power.
I worked my hands free. If there’d just been one [guy with a gun], I think I would have jumped up in the dark and taken him down. But there were two. I thought about grabbing one, getting his gun, and shooting the other, but it seemed awful risky. The truth is I was brought up in a family that was totally against guns and I’d never actually fired one. I wasn’t sure I’d know how.
—Paul Burns
Gary said he was still with Brendan all the way, but they had to get Allison out of there. Brendan was completely sarcastic. Like, exactly how did Gary propose to do that? You know, with the doors locked and booby-trapped. Meanwhile, I started to hear this strange sound. Something half whirring, half grinding. I realized it was a drill. Someone was trying to drill into the gym.
— Dustin Williams
Several studies have pointed out that the number of rampage shootings each year has remained somewhat consistent. However, the number of victims has increased dramatically. The reason? Semiautomatic weapons capable of spraying more bullets in a shorter period of time.
They both stopped talking. I heard the drilling sound and knew they were listening too. They started swinging their flashlights over the walls and the basketball nets and the air-conditioning ducts, trying to see where the sound was coming from. I heard a screech of metal and looked up. Of course, it was pitch-black and I couldn’t see anything. Those boys were swinging their flashlights around like spotlights at a movie premiere. Then one of the beams fixed on something. It was a black cable wire coming down from the ceiling. Near the end it curved slightly, and something at the very end of it reflected the light from the flashlight beam. I thought, Well, what do you know? It’s a camera.
—Dick Flanagan
This was unreal. No one’s saying anything. Except for the flashlights it’s still dark. In the flashlight beam you can see this wire thing slowly start to turn in a circle. Like it’s looking around to see what the story is.
—Paul Burns
I rolled onto my side a little so I could see what everyone was looking at. It was hard to see the cable, because if the flashlight beam moved just a little, you lost sight of it. Then out of nowhere there’s this voice whispering in my ear. It was Paul, and he said he’d gotten his hands free.
—Dustin Williams
I was so glad when I saw that camera come down. So they’d know Brendan and Gary had put us near the doors, and if anyone tried to come in, those doors might explode.
—Chelsea Baker
“ ‘We are focusing on dollars more than anything else. . . . For us, a great deal of the motivation is to run a profitable company.’”
—a former president of Smith & Wesson, Making a Killing
I have a key ring with a nail clipper on it. It was in the front pocket of my pants. I told Paul to put his hand in my pocket and get it. So Paul put his hand in my pocket and, of course, that’s exactly when the lights started to go back on.
—Dustin Williams
You heard that hum, and the lights that weren’t shot out started to glow a little. It took a few minutes. I knew Sam was somewhere near me, so I squirmed around until I could see him. He was pale, and his face was a grimace of pain. From the thighs down his pant legs were soaked with blood, and there were dark red puddles on the floor. I’m not a medical professional, but I sensed it was only a matter of time until he bled to death.
—Beth Bender
[When the lights went on,] Paul’s first reaction was to pull his hand out of my pocket. I whispered, “No, get the nail clipper!” He did. Gary and Brendan were so busy looking at the TV camera, they never saw. We were really lucky.
— Dustin Williams
After the lights went back on, they dropped a thinner black wire through the hole. At the end of it was a little, round black thing. It was about the size of one of those microphones you can clip to your collar. Then they turned the gym speakers back on, and this calm voice said, “Brendan? Gary?” Brendan started firing at that tiny microphone. You could tell he didn’t like what was happening.
—Deirdre Bunson
It wasn’t the same person [on the loudspeaker] as before. This guy was really calm and professional. He told Brendan and Gary that even if they managed to hit the mike and put it out of commission, they’d just send down another one. At first Brendan was fit to be tied, but then he calmed down. I guess he figured out that he was still in control.
—Dustin Williams
Brendan’s mom and dad got on the speaker. It was really pitiful. His mom was crying. His dad sounded like he was in agony. They both pleaded with him to stop and give up. They talked about how much they loved him and wanted to help him and how wrong it was to hurt other people and why hadn’t he told them how stressed he was? I couldn’t see his face because of the mask. But I really wished I could.
—Chelsea Baker
They put on Gary’s mom next. She tried to talk, but her voice cracked and she just
started to bawl. Then the negotiator guy comes back on and starts talking about how they’re not just hurting the people in the gym, they’re hurting their families, too. They’re destroying their parents’ lives. Brendan walked over to Sam Flach, who was still lying there bleeding. He looks up at the little camera and asks if the negotiator guy can see him. The cable turned a little, and the guy said yes. Brendan asked if they could see all the blood seeping out of Sam’s knees, and the negotiator said yes. Brendan knelt down and put the barrel of his gun right next to Sam’s ear and said that if they didn’t remove that camera and mike right now, he would put a bullet in Sam’s head. The next thing we knew, the camera and microphone started to rise back up to the ceiling.
—Allison Findley
“ ‘The big thing about firearms is that they do give the weak a way to defend themselves against the strong.’”
—William Ruger Sr., president of Ruger, a manufacturer of semiautomatic weapons, Making a Killing
Paul had the nail clippers, but with the lights on, Brendan and Gary could see us. I was praying to God as hard as I could that the lights would go off again.
—Dustin Williams
I’m not sure I believe in miracles, but ever since that night, I definitely believe in angels. Only you never know who they might be or what form they might take. If Allison Findley could be an angel, anyone could.
— Dick Flanagan
I heard a really horrible groan. Allison was kneeling over Sam, and at first I thought she was torturing him or something. But she’d taken off her belt and put it around one of Sam’s thighs and was tightening it like a tourniquet. Brendan yelled at her to get away from Sam. Allison said no without even looking at him. Brendan came over and said he’d kill her if she didn’t leave Sam alone. Allison looked up at him and said, “Know what, Brendan? I know you don’t care about living. Well, neither do I. Go ahead and kill me.” Maybe she knew Brendan wouldn’t shoot her. Maybe she truly didn’t care.