“I saw her,” he said with a smirk.
“You were in her mind – her thoughts?” I said as anger spilled over me.
“I asked questions – and I found answers,” he said as his arms tightened around me so I couldn’t run from him.
“What questions?” I asked firmly, fighting my fury.
“Simple ones: when did you meet Britain, how many women has he loved, what power does he have. All of those answers took me to memories that played out telling scenes.”
“I don’t believe you. I tried to see both of them before my accident, and there was nothing there.”
“First of all, you tried to see them in this reality. They’ve learned to block themselves, just like we’re learning to do now. In the dream world, it’s harder - if not impossible – to block all of your thoughts,” he explained.
“Why?”
“Because it’s your thoughts, memories that are creating the world around you, giving you power. If you shield them, you have no power – a blank canvas.”
I tried to imagine this place he was talking about. It almost seemed as if you were standing in your own thoughts, dreams – and everyone could see them. To me, that was foolish. Maybe it was because I’ve always had a natural instinct to block my thoughts – one that was undoubtedly embedded there by my father.
“Which makes you vulnerable. You should never let them see your thoughts,” I said firmly
“I don’t.”
“You just said -”
He reached his finger to my lips to stop me from arguing further. “Listen…I only use the memories I need for the power I want. I’ve gained control of this quickly – almost naturally. Grayson said he was astonished at the control I have there; they still struggle to protect themselves.”
I pushed his hands from my waist, then walked to the couch and collapsed into it. I buried my face into my hands as I leaned forward.
“This is insane. I don’t understand.”
Draven came to my side, and I felt his arm go around me as he sat down. “I told you it was a lot, that we needed to take baby steps.”
“You didn’t tell me she was there – that she’d tempted you. That was my only fear. If that’s happened and you passed that temptation, then I can only imagine what horrible things you’re hiding from me.”
“Nothing horrible…I think it’s kind of amazing, actually.”
I let my hands fall, then looked to my side at him. “I don’t like this addiction you have to this place...it’s changing you.”
“It’s changing us for the better. That concert you wanted for the dead would have only scratched the surface of what we could do. When I master this world, I can end this torment.”
“What are you saying? That you can make the shadows and whispers vanish – help all of the dark souls?”
“I’m saying that I can make them leave you alone – give you peace.”
“I don’t want peace – I want them to have peace. How can you do that?”
“Listen…there’s just as much darkness as there is light – and every day, more souls are lost. The battle has existed since the beginning of time and will exist until the end.”
“So how can you make it stop?”
“By redirecting the power behind the souls.”
I didn’t want to hear another word. I stood up and went to look for my laptop.
“What are you doing?” he asked as I started searching my room for where Kara could have put it.
“Finding my computer, then booking us a flight to Montana. This is over.”
“Montana?” he asked in a curious tone.
“Yeah – that’s where that Landen guy is. You’re taking advice from kids that are just like us and have no idea what they’re doing. You stumbled onto a dream world, where the freaking devil herself tempted you - and now you’re saying that you’re gonna take the one way I can make a difference in this Godforsaken world away from me? I’m done. If you wanna dance in this dream world, you’re gonna do it with people who actually know a thing or two about alternate worlds, travelers. Like Austin, Landen, and whoever else from that world that can help us.”
My laptop was nowhere in sight. I’d decided to look downstairs, but before I reached the door Draven had his arms around me again. He turned me around, then began to slowly force me to walk backwards toward the couch.
“He’s not there anymore. Landen is in his own hell.”
“What?!” I said as my body tensed and I refused to move another inch.
Empathy filled Draven’s alluring eyes. “He had to fight a darkness to have his soul mate with him…they had a victory then, but more pain has been forecasted for them. They have their own battles; they don’t need ours.”
“How –”
Before I could say another word, his finger was on my lips. “Austin was here today. He came to check on us. I told him we were fine, that right now - and maybe forever - we would stay right here.”
“How could you close that door without talking to me – to all of us? That was our way out?!”
“It’s still there. Austin said he would always be there and that when he saw Landen, he’d tell him what we were doing.”
“So – this Landen guy knew about us but never even tried to meet us, to give us advice? Maybe he isn’t the person Austin made him out to be.”
Draven shook his head as I spoke. “Austin never had a chance to tell him or see him. What he knows is common knowledge in Chara. If anything, Landen is more than what they thought, and his soul mate has given him immense powers…kinda like you give me power.”
“You promise this door isn’t closed? Austin will come back?” He nodded. “That when he comes back, you’ll tell me?” He nodded again. “How do I give you power?” I asked as my shoulders fell.
“I’ve been trying to show you; baby steps, remember? Let’s take the first one.”
I nodded and followed him to the couch, where he picked up the guitar and laid it across us. My mind was rushing in every direction. I felt out of control - like I was racing toward a cliff and Draven was driving. I let out a deep breath and conceded the idea that if we fell off this cliff, at least we’d fall together.
Chapter Eight
I watched as Draven played with the strings of the guitar. It was clear he was trying to think of a simple way for me move into memories.
My head was spinning out of control; all I could think about was finding Bianca and giving her a piece of my mind. I couldn’t believe I was such an idiot. I remembered thinking that I was supposed to save Britain from her, that if I did, I could figure out how to protect Draven - but now I don’t know what to think. It’s as if she’s had her chance with both of them and had been refused. If that was the case, what was next? What was she planning? If they aren’t escorts meant to blind us from our purpose, then what do they want with us? How do I give Draven power? What is he not telling me? I began to fidget with my hands and was having a hard time staying still at Draven’s side.
He glanced at me. “Thought about taking you somewhere safe and close first, but I want to show you how powerful the ability to do this is.”
My eyes grew wide with anticipation, but then thoughts of defeat came over me. I’d struggled long enough with figuring out how to see, and now he was taking this to the next level.
“OK, look – don’t assume I know something I don’t. If any of you had bothered to tell me that I needed to ‘ask’ a question when I was seeing, I would have gotten this long before I did. Now all of you are blocking me, and I have no idea if you’re doing that or if I’m doing this wrong. Tell me step by step what do, what I have to focus on.”
An impish grin came to the corners of his perfect lips. “I did tell you to ask a question…you were just asking too many.”
“You should have said that. I almost feel like you like me being blind like this,” I said boldly.
His smile fell, and I knew I had hurt him. “I don’t want anyone to be blind…I was tryi
ng to let you find your way back on your own because you’re stubborn and hard headed. You wouldn’t have listened to me anyway – but now we’re out of time. You need to know how to do this now.”
“Teach,” I said shortly, knowing he was right. I have a bad habit of trying to understand things on my own, but going through what I’ve been through has forced me to ask for help – a hard lesson I didn’t care to learn.
He held my stare as he played through three chords. “Remember this song?”
I did. It was the very first one he’d written for me. He was only fourteen, and he played for me at his grandmother’s house in the UK. My mom had let me fly over there for three weeks that summer. I nodded to confirm.
“How vividly do you remember me playing it for you?” he asked as he blushed slightly.
I gazed into his eyes and let the memories flood to the surface of my mind. “We were on the back deck. Everyone was inside, playing cards at the kitchen table. You pulled the guitar out from behind the swing and nervously began to play…you fumbled with the first few chords, but then you found your place and began to sing, to take my breath away.”
He raised his eyebrows and blushed slightly. “You took my breath away,” he said quietly, then he began to play again. “Stare into my eyes…remember everything about that place...the way it smelled...the air...what you saw…let your mind take you there.”
I held his gaze and listened to the chords come to life. At first he hummed the words, but then he let the lyrics come to life. I smiled slightly, noticing how much stronger his voice was now than it was then. Then the eyes I was staring into seemed to grow younger. I closed my eyes, sure I was going crazy – but then I told myself that going crazy may be the only way to figure this out. I focused on every part of that memory, then opened my eyes.
I wasn’t sitting in my room any longer; I was across the ocean, on his grandmother’s deck. Everything seemed so real. I could still hear the music Draven was playing and looked around to find him. He was right behind me without his guitar. My eyes grew wide with disbelief. The sun was rising here, and birds were singing. It was the same place - I just wasn’t in my memory; I was there...I was really there.
“How?” I asked as I gazed back at him.
“The how is something we may never know…it just is.”
“This is real? We’re here – like in real life? Are your grandparents inside?” I asked as my heart began to hammer against my chest.
He nodded.
“I still hear you playing...” I looked down and saw that I looked the same as I did moments ago. I was solid; not some ghostly image. “Are there two – how are we in two places at once?”
He stepped closer to me and reached his hands for my waist, then leaned his forehead against mine and began to sway me to the music I could still hear. “We are energy…always moving. Some might say that right now this is our soul standing here; others would say it’s a part of our mind….” He smiled slightly. “Some might even say that this is a wicked illusion; nevertheless, we can be in two places at once…if anyone would walk in your room right now, they’d see our eyes locked inside of each other and me playing this song for you.”
“What happens when the song ends?” I asked in a shaky voice as I glanced to my side to see his grandmother’s white cat staring at us from the kitchen window.
“Time is irrelevant. We’re using that song as a beacon, a way for us to remember that we’re really there, not here. It could end, and we could be staring at one another for countless moments - but we’ll still hear it here.”
The light in the kitchen came on, and I could see his grandfather sleepily walking to the coffee pot. “Can they see us?”
My favorite impish grin spread across his face. “They aren’t as open-minded as Nana, so I don’t know. I don’t think we should test it on him, though; let’s go back.”
I looked up at him with questioning eyes, afraid I wouldn’t know how.
“Fall into the music…the last thing you remember about your house... what you were doing.”
I did as he said, and in that moment I was sitting on the couch in my room, staring at him as if not a single moment had passed; in fact, he was still playing the same chord, singing the same words. He let the last lyrics roll off his tongue before he smiled at me and said, “Back.”
My heart was pounding against my chest, and my ears were blushing. I felt empowered and humbled all at once. I couldn’t understand if that was real or an illusion – or how he was able to do that.
“Try again?” he asked, then sat the guitar down next to the couch.
“I...I...I...I just don’t get it...should we be doing this? Playing with something we don’t understand? What if we get stuck somewhere? What if we can’t come back? I don’t know, Draven...this is wicked, and I don’t get it.”
He reached his hand for mine. “Do you fear dreams? Do you question if you’ll wake when you fall asleep?”
I slowly moved my head from side to side.
“It’s the same thing – only you’re awake…that dark place that chases me - the world that Britain and Bianca want to control - lies in a dream world, the place between.”
“How can they control someone else’s dreams?”
“They don’t. The way Grayson explained it to me is that when we dream, we open our minds – like a third eye or something – and in that state our energy can divide and move away from our bodies; that in fact, when we rest - really dream at night – our bodies are paralyzed so they won’t act out what our mind is doing. We’re different because we can go to that world awake, and we have enough awareness to tell our bodies to carry out an act while we’re gone – like an auto pilot. We not only dream lucidly, we do so with others at the same time.”
“How does he know? You trust him?”
“I do. He’s brilliant. What we are – what we can do – there’s no manual to tell us about it. All Grayson did was look at what’s known about energy, about dreams, and discovered how what we do is different.”
“What are we? Why are different?”
“We’re just awake, awake in a world that’s sound asleep.”
“Are you sure we’re not insane in a world that’s sane?”
A quiet laugh echoed inside of Draven. “I’m sure. I know what we do can be done by everyone.”
“How does this have to do with seeing the dead, the darkness? How does it fit together?”
“Still working on figuring that out. It plays into that dream world; I know that for sure.”
“Take me there,” I said as I leaned forward.
He reached to pull me against his chest. “Let’s practice moving to a place you’ve been before first.”
Hours went by. At first we went places we’d taken vacations to as children, then we moved on to concerts he’d either played at or that we’d been to. Eventually, we just started moving to places around Salem: his house, different parts of mine. I even tested how easy it was to move things when I was in one of these places. I moved picture frames in my house, then when I brought myself back into reality I’d go check to see if it was really moved or just some illusion. Each time, I found the change I’d made to exist. It was easy to see why Aden and Draven’s dad, Evan, were concerned about this new aspect of our gift; it was addicting and brought forth a since of invincibility. It was like the only limitations a mind or body had were the ones we placed there; you could literally go anywhere at anytime.
An uneasy feeling settled deep in my gut. I knew if people with a horrible intent knew they could do this, we’d never be safe – that no walls or locks could keep anyone away.
It was as if the real world were an illusion and moving my energy from one place to another was what my soul was meant to do. As I struggled with my thoughts, I stretched out on the couch, and Draven laid next to me. I wanted to debate this, what we were doing, how we could use this for good – to help others. I wanted to question if there really was life and death, if I was ever really safe
or even in danger, but my mind was weak. Draven’s arms tightened around me, and he began to hum the lullaby he always used to put me to sleep. I fell into the addicting sound of his voice and let myself drift into a dream.
When I woke the next morning, Draven was gone. I stretched out on the couch and tried to understand what this power was. I could vividly remember Draven in the dreams I just had; it was as if we never parted throughout the night. It made me think of yesterday. I felt the same way when I woke up, like he was there in my dreams. The idea didn’t seemed too farfetched, not after last night. It was unbelievable – being able to go anywhere with a thought. I wondered where he was and raised up to find my phone. I remembered plugging it in downstairs in my old room and went to find it.
The shower in the bathroom cut off just as I landed on the bottom steps. I had no clue as to who was in there. The room was empty. Monroe’s bed was made, and all of her things were set neatly on her side of the room. She was nowhere to be seen. Madison’s side of the room couldn’t have been more opposite. Her bed was made, but it looked the same as it did last night; it was as if she laid on it but never actually slept. Her sketches were across the floor; new ones had been added, different versions of ankhs. My phone cord was stretched in the direction of her bed. I furrowed my eyebrows as I walked over to it.
There was a blue box lit up with a text from Draven that said: “Went to the school to help get it ready to play at - get you around 7?”
I was furious. Had I not proven myself? Why could I not help him move out shadows? I texted back: “I’m coming now I can handle the darkness.”
His response was almost instant: “not shadows – heavy amps.”
“what?!”
“The shadows are gone - getting equipment in here.”
I rolled my eyes. I don’t know why, but I was having a hard time trusting him; not in a bad way, but in the kind of way that made me think he wasn’t telling me everything in order to ‘keep me safe’ - which infuriated me.
I texted back: “fine.”
Then I made up my mind to find Bianca or Britain today and get to the bottom of this. I scrolled to Britain’s name, and my mouth fell open. There were over fifty texts between me and him – but he wasn’t talking to me; he was talking to Madison. They had literally talked all night long. I read every word. Madison told him it was her and not me; that I was with Draven. His responses were just as charismatic as they always were. They talked about why she didn’t like him, why he didn’t care for her at first, then they moved on to how they needed to talk about their dreams. Madison very carefully ignored his plea to talk to her.