“H-he has?” I said, trying to conceal the surprise in my voice.
“Hell, yeah! And he did NOT look happy when a guy tried to approach you. He was giving them quite the evil glare … Hey, you said people were avoiding you there, that might be the reason why. At least for the male ones,” he said, laughing at his discovery.
“Shut up, Harry, he was not! He was too busy with all those bimbo girls all night long! He didn’t even know where I was …” I said, trailing down the stairs behind Harry.
“Well, I was right by his side and he kept glancing around and asking about you all the time. But now that you’ve mentioned it, those girls were acting a little weird. I overheard something going on, some sort of bet. I dunno … I’ll find out about that soon enough, don’t worry.”
We walked outside the school building and I was less upset now that I knew Tristan had been looking for me. I went back to the party holding Harry’s hand. The band and Tristan were used to Harry holding hands and hugging all the time, but not everyone was aware of his particular touching habits, so there were a few raised eyebrows and glances towards us.
I didn’t care any more. I had decided to accept Harry’s suggestion: I was going to enjoy this damn party no matter what, and I wasn’t going to worry about what anyone thought of me! I looked up and saw Tiff waving at me, smiling. I smiled back at her, truly happy.
“I’ll go find out about those weird girls, Joey,” Harry said. “You go ahead and have some fun, okay?”
I turned to him and hugged him tight. The warm, fuzzy feeling I had every time I hugged Harry came back, spreading happiness inside. “Okay, I will. And thanks so much, Harry!” I said.
“What for?” he asked, amused and surprised.
“For being my friend. You’re awesome!” I said, kissing his cheek and ruffling his red hair with my hand. He didn’t care about messing up his hair; it was always a mess, anyway. If I tried to do that with Seth’s hair, I would be in so much trouble! Harry winked at me and took off, blending into the crowd.
After that enlightening conversation with Harry, everything changed for me. I was looking at things now from a different point of view. I was going to enjoy myself! I was going to have some fun with my friends, and laugh, and dance and forget about everyone else!
I hugged Tiff and thanked her for helping me dress up, and asked her to come dance with me. She looked surprised at my change of attitude, but then she beamed and hugged me back, pushing me to the dance area, which was a spot of grass near the sound speakers. I knew people were looking at me and I didn’t care! To hell with them! I danced and danced with Tiff, shaking my body and laughing out loud. Then Tiffany asked for a time out to get some drinks, and I went to find Sam. I tackled him with a hug and tickled him just to hear him laughing, then hugged Josh too. That earned me a few envious stares from all the girls around them. They were my friends, my band; I could tickle and hug them whenever I wanted to! Then Harry appeared in our circle, beaming at all of us. I went to ruffle his hair again and hugged him once more.
The Beach Boys were blasting out, and I loved their songs so much, it kind of reminded me a bit of Harry’s mood, so when he noticed I was stomping my feet along to the beat, he grabbed me by the waist and twirled me fast and started dancing with me in his crazy moves! Seth and Tiff arrived together, and Sam was already jumping around wildly with Harry, goofing around and following the music, singing along.
We had the most fun circle going on at the party! When the music ended, I grabbed my knees for support, panting and trying to catch my breath. I was desperately in need of something cold to drink, so I headed towards the refreshments, smiling happily and singing to myself.
I was scanning the table for something to drink when I heard someone clearing their throat. I looked up in the direction of the sound. It was Tristan. He was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, looking at me intently with an indecipherable smirk on his face. I had a hard time pinpointing his exact location against the wall; it was like he was blending in with the texture of the stone. I squinted my eyes. He was using his special “fading” ability; that was why I was having difficulty focusing on him.
“Hey, I was wondering about where you were!” I said, smiling at him. “Tris, can you stop doing that, it makes my eyes watery.”
“Not here, people will see me here and I’m trying to lay low. Walk with me?” he said, pointing towards the corridor that led away from the party.
“Sure,” I said, walking by his side.
We walked a long way in silence before he decided to stop to rest on a low wall. Suddenly, I missed our good old days of long walks in the cemetery, when I had him all to myself. Lately I hardly got to see him at all; he was always away, busy with something …
“I see you’re enjoying the party,” he said, turning his “fading” off and sitting down on the wall, his long legs stretched out.
“I wasn’t really. I was hating it. But then Harry talked to me and cheered me up … and I decided to change my attitude and enjoy the party. How about you? Why were you doing your ‘fading’ thing?”
“God! I needed to. There are some crazy girls here today! They wouldn’t leave me alone one second, it was infuriating!” he said, frowning.
“Come on! Are you complaining about having lots of girls hanging all over you? Really?” I mocked him.
“It’s not like that. They were really clingy … and kind of annoying. I don’t like that at all,” he said, shivering and making a funny face. “They were acting like crazy too! Modern girls are so … forward at times!”
I chuckled. “Yeah, I know, girls can flirt and hit on guys these days. It’s not a ‘men-only’ thing any more, Tris. Plus, they have a bet thing going on, you know? About who’s going to hook up with you tonight. That’s why there’s all the craziness around you.”
“I know. You heard about it, huh?” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. “Do you know there’s a bet on you too?”
“Yea, what?” I stopped chuckling and stared at him, wide-eyed.
“Oh, so you don’t know about that! The bet is on both of the ‘Grays’, little sis. The girls are betting on me and the guys are betting on you: who’s going to be the lucky guy to lay hands on you,” he said, a grim look on his face.
“I-I … WHAT? Who the hell is making these bets!” I yelled, baffled. “But you must’ve heard it wrong, there were no guys coming after me. They were all acting really weird, looking at me like I was some sort of freak or something!”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” he said, smiling and looking down to the ground. “Josh, Sam and Seth were kind of threatening everybody, saying if any scumbag got near you, he’d have to deal with them later.”
That explained the weird behavior of the guys at the party. My boys were harassing people for my sake. They were so sweet! “And you? Did you do something too?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow at him.
“You mean, did I threaten to beat people up too? No, I didn’t.” He smiled cryptically and avoided eye contact.
“Oh. Okay,” I said, a little deflated. He obviously didn’t care.
“I just stared at all of them with a really, really disappointed face. And I may have implied that whoever touched you, would be kind of on my black list. Forever,” he added, smirking evilly.
“Tristan!” I laughed out loud, deeply pleased.
“What? I’m sorry about that,” he said teasingly, not one single ounce of sorrow in his eyes.
“Well, I guess that explains a lot,” I muttered to myself.
“Apparently, Harry has won the bet, though,” Tristan mumbled. There was doubt in his voice, just a little sadness behind it.
“What are you talking about? Did you hook up with Harry, then?” I asked, teasing him.
“Um … You guys disappeared for a while, there … and then you were back holding hands and stuff,” he mumbled, looking uncomfortable and avoiding my eyes. So he had really been keeping close watch on me all night. And her
e I was, thinking he didn’t care! I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder. He was jealous of Harry.
“Harry is my friend, Tris. He saw that I was upset at the party, and tried to cheer me up. He also gave me some tips about how to enjoy a party properly, to stop worrying about what people think of me. Harry is awesome. But he’s just my friend,” I said seriously.
Although I couldn’t see Tristan’s face, I knew that he was smiling now. We stood still for a while in silence, enjoying each other’s company. He kept stroking the back of my hands with his thumb and had leaned closer to me. I could feel the heat coming out of his body and a few butterflies fluttered in my belly. What was this cologne he was wearing? He smelled so good!
“Why on earth would you be worried about what people are thinking about you at this party? You’re amazing. Everybody can see that,” he said quietly.
I was glad he couldn’t see me blushing. At times I have some serious low self-esteem issues, and it was hard for me to believe in that … “Thanks, Tris. You’re amazing too,” I said shyly.
After a time I noticed Tristan was getting anxious about something. He kept tensing up, like he was preparing to do or say something, but didn’t have the nerve to act on it. Maybe he wanted to get back to the party and I was holding him back. I was beginning to get a little anxious myself. “Tris, what’s wrong? You seem upset.” I lifted my head off his shoulder.
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m not upset.”
I turned to look at him but he kept his gaze down, staring hard at the stone wall. I sighed loudly. “Tris, you promised you wouldn’t do that any more,” I said quietly. “I told you I can’t read you like that, just by looking at you. It takes a lot of effort and concentration. Please. I hate it when you avoid looking at me. It makes me feel like you’re mad at me. Or that you don’t like me.” I felt really bad for lying. I even tried to turn this thing off, block it somehow so I wouldn’t be lying after all, but I couldn’t.
“I’m sorry, Joey. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that,” Tristan said, looking up at last.
And when his eyes met mine, I held my breath and grabbed the wall for support. Because the intensity of his gaze was mind-blowing.
It was like he had been storing up all of his emotions, and now the barrier was breaking down. It was impossible to block all of that out, even if I tried with all my might.
Waves of emotions flooded from his eyes, overflowing uncontrollably. I watched as guilt flickered in them. Guilt for making me think he didn’t like me, crashing over jealousy of all the other boys near me at the party, over anger and sadness of thinking Harry had won me, all mixed with admiration of the new way I looked, and fear that someone might notice how badly he wanted me.
I tried to breathe while his emotions washed over me. I saw lust in his eyes at seeing my body while I danced, and nervousness about wanting to make a move, and fear of being rejected, arousal now at feeling my skin against his, the need to kiss me right now! I was frozen, desperately trying to cover up all I was seeing in his eyes. I couldn’t even think straight, for that matter, mostly because all the desire and longing I could see in him mirrored my own feelings.
Before I could regain some shred of control, Tristan leaned slowly closer. Everything happened in slow motion. I could feel his hot breath and his piercing gray eyes boring into mine. There was only an inch of space between our lips and the distance seemed unbearable. I tried to close the gap but I couldn’t move.
Then Tristan leaned in teasingly, brushing his lips so softly to mine that I almost thought I was imagining it. I didn’t know how much longer I could hold my breath, but I feared I might break the spell if I exhaled. I felt his lips curve in a smile, and saw his eyes crinkling, as he leaned in, closing the last fraction of an inch between us. I felt the heat and the softness of his lips over mine for the first time, and tiny tingling pinpricks of heat.
I had never been kissed like this before in my life. It made all my previous experiences fade in comparison, weak shadows of what a kiss was really supposed to be like.
His lips were everything I’d imagined, and more.
It felt like magic.
The most absolute perfect thing.
And then it was over.
People started arriving down the corridor, shouting and laughing loudly, making Tristan jerk his head away from me, surprised by their sudden arrival.
I felt lightheaded, like I was coming down from a high. I blinked, confused, slowly coming out of my dazed state. Had Tristan just kissed me? Because it felt so unreal … so unworldly. Or had I just imagined it all? The fading tingling in my lips told me otherwise. It had happened. It wasn’t a dream.
He looked at me with a glint in his gray eyes, and smiled. God! I couldn’t get enough of his smiles! People kept passing by us, chatting and laughing. Where were they going?
“Do you want to go someplace else?” Tristan asked quietly, his voice raspy and low, making me snap my eyes away from the clusters of passing students back to him. I blushed all shades of red when I understood he wanted more time alone with me. His eyes darkened, fixing on me, making my heart go haywire. He wanted more than a few seconds of a kiss.
I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I was speechless and overwhelmed. If one kiss had turned me into this incoherent mess, can you imagine what a whole lot more of his lips on me would do? My head kept shouting at me to take it slow, to do the right thing and call it a night.
But I just went ahead and nodded at Tristan, smiling at him shyly.
Take that, stupid head! Hah! I mentally poked my tongue out to my brain. Apparently, my heart was in charge of things tonight. It wanted some more time alone with Tristan too; it also wanted more of his kiss. But before we could stand up, Seth, Tiff and Sam appeared in the corridor, talking happily to each other.
They spotted us sitting there and headed our way. Tristan sagged when he saw them approaching, frustration rolling off him in waves. Alone time seemed to be farther and farther away from our grasp …
“Hey, man, we were looking all over for you! You disappeared!” Seth said, beaming at Tristan. “Sam was even saying you must have been hooking up with a girl somewhere.”
“I’ve been here with Joey,” Tristan said, smiling to the ground. I noticed he had this habit of telling the truth without actually saying the truth. It was kind of clever of him.
“What’s going on, guys?” I risked asking, my voice coming out a little quivery. I still hadn’t recovered fully from my incoherent jelly state. “Why everybody’s heading this way?”
“Party’s over,” Tiff said, leaning on Seth and taking her high heels off. “Oh God, that feels good. Shoes were killing me. Pooh.”
Sam sniggered teasingly. “Have you noticed how women always make these orgasmic moans whenever they take their heels off?” He chuckled loudly. “And the more uncomfortable the shoes, the more orgasmic the sound?”
At Sam’s side, Seth started laughing hard. “Oh man! That is so true!” he said, high-fiving Sam.
They were almost choking with laughter. Tiffany, however, seemed oblivious.
“My toes just feel too good to care about them,” she said, shrugging, and wiggled her toes on the cold floor. “I’m calling it a night, guys! I’ll see you tomorrow.” She waved us goodbye then walked back to her dorm room.
Sam wiped tears of laughter from his deep-blue eyes. “I’m going to head to bed too. Night all!” he said, with a wave.
It was just me, Tristan and Seth, then. Seth turned to leave and looked at us, waiting.
“Aren’t you coming? You heard them, party’s over. Let’s go.”
I shrugged and stood up. What were we going to say? No, we are staying here some more, because we want to be alone and make out a little bit, so please, leave us alone now? Tristan sighed loudly and followed us down the corridor. I could still feel his frustration flooding off him while he walked by my side, even though his eyes were glued to the floor the whole time.
“So, wh
ere are Harry and Josh? They left the party early?” Tristan asked, making small talk with Seth. I focused on their chat, to distract my mind from that kiss.
“Oh, those two are still partying out there somewhere,” Seth said, chuckling. “Josh is always the last to return to the dorms at night. And Harry has his ‘boyish charms’ and the ‘I’m so shy’ sweet face of his. It’s a freaking gold mine! No chick resists him. Ever.”
The boys chatted amiably as we headed back to our dorm, but I remained silent. There was a lot that I needed to process about the night. About my feelings, and what I’d seen in Tristan’s eyes. Which part of that kiss was really us? Which part was the spell that bound us? I remembered the pinpricks of heat on my lips when we touched … Was that magic and, if so, was anything that was happening between us real at all?
I was the first to the bathroom, the first to get dressed in my comfy pajamas and the first in bed. When Seth retreated to the bathroom, Tristan took the opportunity of us being alone to sit on my bed.
“Are you okay, Joey? You look a little worried.”
“Yeah, no. I … I’m just a little confused. I mean …” I burrowed deeper into my bed. Okay, understatement of the year. I was freaking out.
“About us?” he said, biting his lips. It looked so damn sexy. I wished I could be biting those lips. “I’m not. Things are pretty clear to me,” he said.
“R-really?”
“How about we do this. Let’s take things slow. How does that sound?” he said, putting his hand over mine.
“Okay. I think. Sounds good …”
We locked eyes again and there was a sizzling buzz shooting electricity between us. He started leaning closer to me, but Seth came out of the bathroom, making him lean back hastily. Frustration and annoyance flickered in his eyes for a brief second, but it was replaced by a humorous glint.