“Breathe, baby, breathe.”
It’s only when I let Marcus’s voice in that I can begin to think clearly.
“That’s it. Breathe.”
Mercifully, the blinding waves of bliss die down to manageable rays of joy.
“That was…” I start, but am too breathless to continue.
“Are you okay?”
“Marcus, I need something.”
“What? A doctor? Let’s go—” he starts to get up.
“—no. I need more. I need more of whatever you just did.” He laughs and holds me tightly.
“I love you so much,” he whispers.
“Show me.”
He turns me so that I am now facing him. We begin to kiss but this time it is not just about desire. It’s about finding refuge in each other’s arms. Right now there is no team, no mission, and no pending war.
Every time he kisses me, he dries a tear I’ve shed; he erases bad memories I thought would linger forever. And when my touch causes him to moan and call out my name, I know our love is just as much a haven for him as it is for me.
Marcus was serious about taking his time with me. He nibbles, licks, and sucks on my abs, fingers, the back of my knees, and my wrists. After I return the favor, he lays me down and gets on top of me. Given his strength, he is fairly weightless.
He explores every inch of me until I beg him to enter me. He goes to part my legs but I ache so badly for him, I open myself up willingly. I don’t know if I really can handle it. But there is nothing else I would rather do at this moment than try.
He inserts himself into me slowly. There’s pain but it’s human pain; the kind of pain that comes when it’s your first time. Or so I’ve been told. It’s not torture but still it hurts. I want it to stop.
But I know it’s the only way to get to the good part. I force myself to breathe. I bite my lip and look away. If Marcus sees I’m in pain of any kind, he’ll stop.
I make myself keep breathing as the pressure builds inside. He’s gentle but no amount of gentleness will help given that my hymen has yet to break. I remember learning that in Health class. I thought I would never have sex if something had to ‘tear’ but here I am. And I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
Suddenly a sharp pain makes its way between my legs. The barrier that prevented Marcus from getting inside me all the way is gone. I feel a warm liquid seep out of me.
It’s not coming from Marcus, he hasn’t shared his soul. That sensation would be a lot more powerful.
It’s me; I’m bleeding.
He looks down and asks if I want to stop.
“It’s not a lot.”
“Emmy—”
“—Marcus, make love to me.”
He inserts himself again; this time there is nothing there to stop him from getting through. And yes, it feels good. He sees the smile on my face and only then does he begin to relax. Once that happens, the sensations are fantastic.
It’s then that I notice the silver orb growing in the air. It’s the size of a tennis ball. I know it’s going to get bigger.
Excited, I wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him deeply. Soon I’m too involved in how good it feels to even think about the size of the Outer Arc. The only thing on my mind is Marcus.
Suddenly Marcus finds a space inside me that I didn’t know existed. I call out his name just as the spark inside me implodes. I shiver, my toes curl, and I bite my lip so hard I nearly break the skin. I don’t even realize that I’m digging into Marcus’s skin until he points it out.
Okay…so, human orgasm…so worth it.
I’ve had my Inner Arc. I signal to him that I’m ready for him to have his. He inserts himself into me and shares his soul.
It’s good; too good.
It’s gonna kill me.
It’s good; too good.
It’s gonna kill me.
It’s good; too good.
It’s gonna kill me.
“Breathe,” he instructs me.
I gasp so deeply there is no way to get air into my lungs.
“Emerson, breathe!”
It’s only when he yells it out as an order that I am able to take in what he’s saying. I start to breathe. When he sees that I’m okay, he finally relaxes and lets the Inner Arc take hold of him.
His body rocks, he glows, and his wings expand to nearly twice their normal size. I marvel at the sight above me. His face is angelic, even more so than usual. He closes his eyes and I watch wave after wave of light pass through him.
When it’s done, he lowers his head from exhaustion and blissful satisfaction. He kisses me sweetly and rests his head on my chest. I brush his hair off his face as his wings curl around us like a blanket.
It’s only then that I turn and find that the Outer Arc has grown in size to fill nearly half the cave.
“Marcus, look!”
“I’ve never seen it this big,” he replies.
“I’m not surprised.”
He looks up at me and kisses my hand.
Then the Outer Arc splits in two.
“You ready?” I ask him, excited.
“Hell yeah,” he says, still lying on my bare chest.
The Outer Arc enters Marcus first. It goes to his wings and spreads out to the rest of his body. He gasps like he’s hurt and grabs on to the wall of the cave. He holds on so tight, half of the wall is now dust.
I don’t have time to react because just then it enters me. It’s a series of flashes that are filled with so much tenderness, care, and love it overwhelms me. In addition to feeling everything Marcus felt as we made love, I ‘see’ all of his thoughts.
I thought he’d have moments of doubt about us. Maybe a few thoughts about whether or not we really should be doing this. But I was wrong. The entire time we were together, this is what Marcus was thinking:
She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world.
She is my world. She is my world. She is my world.
She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world.
She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is myworld. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world. Sheis my world. She is my world. She is my world. She is my world.
When the Outer Arc is done, we both lay still. We’re way past exhausted. He asks me something, but I’m too far away in my head to hear what he said. He looks up at me and grows concerned.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“You really love me,” I say as my eyes fill with happy tears.
“You already knew that.”
“No, I didn’t. I mean I did. But I didn’t know to what extent until I felt your Outer Arc.” He takes my hand in his. He then looks up at me and jokes that he needs to recharge for a year after that.
“Marcus, your eyes are purple. It’s our Exchange!”
“What, you didn’t think we’d have one?”
“I had a good time, but ya know, I wasn’t sure it was good enough for you…so I thought maybe we wouldn’t have an Exchange.”
“I have never felt this good with anyone.”
“Not even—”
“— No one has come close to making me experience what we experienced.” I fall asleep in his arms, smiling...
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE:
SURVIVAL
His face is the first thing I see when I wake up. He stands above me, smiling warmly. I sit up and wrap a blanket around me that he placed on me some time in the night. The early morning sunlight streams into the cave.
“I still have it,” I admit.
“Still have what?”
“The Replay. I didn’t throw it away; I couldn’t.”
He beams at me.
“So you guessed I didn’t really throw it away?” I ask.
“I didn’t guess; I hoped.”
“I’m glad I didn’t.”
“Me, too. I hate to leave this place, but…”
“But we may have a war to get ready for,” I reply.
“Yeah,” he says sadly.
“I know this is probably not the right time but…what are we doing?” I ask.
“You mean you and me?”
“Um…yeah.”
“Well, I am not seeing anyone; you aren’t seeing anyone. I know it’s strange but I think we’re together.”
“You’re not worried about what happens when you have to leave me here on earth?”
“If we can scare the Sage out of trying to attack us by showing him we can fight back, all we’d have to do then is find the Shoma. Once we do that, maybe the new Council will be grateful.”
“Grateful enough to let you come down to earth for visits?” I ask.
“Frequent visits,” he corrects me.
“What if they don’t?”
“Then they will have to deal with me knocking on their doors every single day forever. I’m not living without you anymore. I will find a way to come down here and be with you.”
“That sounds great but…these things never seem to work out for us.”
“Today is different. We’re together and there is nothing the Sage, Lucy, or your father can do about it.”
“It’s hard to believe she was right.”
“Who?”
“Eta. She really and truly believes we are meant to be together.”
“Well, she was right.”
“Marcus, I’m afraid to…”
“To what?”
“Believe in us again.”
He kneels down so that we are at eye level. He strokes my face with his hand. His touch is warm and reassuring.
“Hey, I know I hurt you. But I’m not going to make decisions without you anymore. From now on, it’s you and me.”
“I want our story to end right here. With you and me together the morning after we made love. I don’t want us to step outside because something always goes wrong.”
“Nothing is going to go wrong, Em. We worked so hard to get to this point, all we have to do now is hold on to each other.”
“Are you saying the plain, nerdy girl who talks to her cat actually gets to scrape by with a happy ending?”
“No, I’m saying the beautiful, caring human with the big heart and perfect eyes gets the happy ending she deserves.”
I reach out and press my lips against his. The kiss is long but not nearly as long as we wanted it to be. When we finally pull apart, I rest my forehead on his chest.
“So you think the new Council will actually agree to let you come to earth just to see your girlfriend?” I ask.
“No, but I’m hoping they let me come to see my wife.”
“Oh, I get to have your Rah again, right?”
“As soon as things die down, I’ll go get my Rah for you. But I was thinking I would like us to be together not just in the Angel world, but in the human one as well.” He takes out a crushed red velvet box and opens it. In the center is a halo-shaped diamond with pieces of gold embedded inside. He tells me the gold isn’t really gold at all; it’s fragments of the light.
“How did you…?” I can’t finish.
I look up at the ceiling, determined not to let tears well up in my eyes. I bite my lower lip so that I remain composed.
“I have never done the human version of this; I’m probably gonna screw it up but here goes…” I lower my head and look into his warm eyes. His hands tremble slightly as he takes the ring out of the box. He’s so nervous; he sounds more like a teenager asking a girl to the prom than a First Guardian.
“Everyone thinks you saved me the day you threw us off the tower. But the truth is you saved me way before that. Every time you smile, you save me. I’m surrounded by Guardians everyday but I didn’t encounter courage until I met you. I lived in the light but I didn’t find peace until I held you. And I never understood what it meant to love until I was loved by you.
“I don’t know if we will survive what the Sage’s army has planned for us. I don’t even know if the new Council will allow me to come back and see you. All I know is that when I need to find the light, I don’t look up at sky; I look up at you.”
The warm tears make their way down my cheeks. He’s about to pu
t a sentence together that will change everything for us.
“Emerson Hope Baxter, you are my Angel. I will never love anyone the way I love you. Please, say you’ll marry me.”
“Um…yeah okay,” I blubber as I burst into tears. I leap into his arms. He holds me tightly as wave after wave of sobs go through my body. I whisper in his ear between sobs:
“I can’t believe the girl really gets the guy! Wow! Yay for the human!” He laughs and holds me even tighter.
“After everything, the human actually gets the Angel?” I ask, still stunned.
“Damn right,” he says, kissing me hungrily.
Suddenly I leap out of his arms.
“I GOTTA TELL MIKU!!!” I shout.
I jump up and rush to get dressed.
“You can tell her after the meeting with Nipoe. We can tell everyone then.”
“Do you think she’ll want to be my maid of honor?”
“Yeah, sure, I don’t see why not. I didn’t know you were into weddings.”
“Normally, no. But after everything we’ve been through, you bet I’m a wedding girl. I want the works! Marcus, this is our happy ending!” I squeal.
“Well, if we don’t go to war that is.”
“I don’t think we will. I think the Sage will take off running when he sees how big the Foundation’s army is. Then we can go find the Shoma. After that, wedding central!”
“Dear Omnis, what have I done?” he teases. I playfully jab him in his side.
“I want one of those old-fashion dresses that look like something out of a Bronte novel. I want the cake to be red velvet with crushed caramel sprinkles. I don’t care if it’s not traditional. And Ben can hold the rings.”
“Okay, Em, I know you’re excited; me, too. But do you think you can hold off on the planning long enough for us to get to the meeting?”
“Of course I can.”
I was wrong. By the time we got back to Cree, I had filled Marcus’s head with all things wedding. When I finally calm down, I silently talked to Omnis in my head: Thank you, thank you for allowing us to find a way back to each other...