Tanyalee drove up the gravel drive the same way she’d done thousands of times. As she rounded the bend, she was met by a familiar sight—a pink-and-orange-streaked sunset mirrored in the calm mountain lake.
Everything about the setting, from the faint outline of the Great Smoky Mountains to the jagged tree line to the gentle curve of the lakeshore, was as familiar to her as the back of her own hand. The cry of the loons and the song of the crickets were the lullabies of her life. More than any place on earth, Newberry Lake was her home.
For her first five years, Tanyalee had lived at the lake house with her mama, daddy, and sister. She spent entire summers here as a child and teenager, under the watchful eye of Aunt Viv and Granddaddy Garland. And for a painful six months, she lived here with J.J., as his wife. She winced at the thought of it—everything about that union had been as wrong as wrong could be.
Tonight, Tanyalee had come to make it right. It would not be pleasant for her or for her sister, and she could not hide behind flowery words or dull the sting for Cheri. Tanyalee’s behavior had been shameful and ugly and had gone on for their entire lives. But like she told Granddaddy, it had to be said out loud to become real.
As she turned off the Cadillac’s engine, it occurred to her that she wasn’t the slightest bit nervous. A calm had filled her chest and belly, as if she knew the moment had come for her to live up to her Newberry name. As Granddaddy had said, Newberry women were strong, resourceful, and determined. She and Cheri were the last of the line—two of a kind—and she owed her sister nothing less.
Immediately, she saw Cheri on the front porch, sitting cross-legged in one of the old wooden rocking chairs. She waved to Tanyalee, who waved back. Tanyalee heard the sound of her own heartbeat as she walked toward the house.
“Hey, Cheri,” she said, coming up the steps. “Thank you for—”
“Of course, Tanyalee! You don’t have to thank—”
“But you didn’t have to agree—”
“I wanted to.”
The sisters stared blankly at each other. Tanyalee felt herself smile as the sad truth sank in. Not only did the two of them not know how to talk to one another, they didn’t even know one another. They would be starting from scratch.
Tanyalee had to admit that Cheri had always been a pretty girl, with all that rich red hair and those warm brown eyes. But tonight she saw a calm, womanly beauty in her sister. Cheri’s face was relaxed and her skin glowed. When she smiled, there was a smoothness around her eyes and mouth.
Love and marriage had surely been good to her big sister.
Tanyalee took a steadying breath. “I’m glad to see you so happy, Cheri.”
Her sister lowered her feet to the wooden porch slats. “Would you like some sweet tea?”
“Yes, please.”
“Then come on into the kitchen with me.”
Tanyalee followed Cheri through the screen door and the open, heavy oak door behind it, stepping across the threshold into a strange world. She knew every inch of that ninety-year-old bungalow, inside and out, yet tonight she barely recognized it! Cheri and J.J. had managed to turn a tumbledown stone shack into a comfortable, welcoming home.
It looked nothing like the miserable dump in which she and J.J. had been trapped, with its splintered floors, drafty windows, and leaking plumbing. Tanyalee had to bite down on her bottom lip to stop from sighing.
Tentatively, she stepped into the living room, glancing around as politely as she could manage. Everything was bathed in a golden light from two lodge lamps likely as old as the house itself. Every inch of wood, from the floors to the woodwork to the built-ins, gleamed from polishing. The walls of the living and dining rooms had been freshly painted in a mossy green color, and while the kitchen appliances had been updated, the room retained its cheerful simplicity.
Beadboard pine cabinets rose almost to the ceiling. The old porcelain farm sink had been reglazed and now sparkled. A jug of flowers sat in the middle of the old oak kitchen table and a bowl of fresh fruit rested on the counter. And there, slipped into the handle of the oven door, was one of the blue-and-white-checked dishtowels Tanyalee had given Cheri as a wedding gift. Just as she had hoped, they were a perfect match to the kitchen curtains.
Tanyalee stood quietly with her handbag clutched in both hands, watching her sister pour iced tea from a pitcher into two glass jars filled with ice. Suddenly, she knew. She knew why being here had such an effect on her. It was like returning to the home she’d shared with her mama and daddy. It was as if she’d stepped back in time.
As Cheri turned around to offer her a jar, her face contorted with sympathy. “Oh, Tanyalee. Are you okay?”
“What? Gracious! Why would you ask me that?” Tanyalee absently touched her cheek, feeling hot tears. Of course she had not intended to step inside the house and immediately start blubbering! That was in no way a reflection of the resourcefulness and/or determination to be found in a Newberry woman’s blood. Oh, Lord-ee what a horrible way to begin …
“Let’s go back out onto the porch. It’s a lovely night.”
“Yes. Yes, it is.” Tanyalee couldn’t get out of that place fast enough, and took a huge gulp of evening air to clear her head. She had cried, of all things. When she saw how beautiful and warm Cheri and J.J. had made their home, she stood there and cried because everything about the place hinted at their love and devotion for each other and reflected the love her own parents had once had for her.
Those tears had come from loss and shame. That little family from the past was gone forever, and she’d lashed out at Cheri and J.J. simply because they made each other happy.
She had caused so much damage.
“Here. Have a seat.” Cheri nodded toward a rocker and handed Tanyalee her drink. When she took a long sip, it brought cool relief to her tight throat.
“I do apologize for my outburst,” Tanyalee managed.
Cheri plopped in her chair and turned slightly toward Tanyalee. She shook her head. “There’s no need to apologize.”
Just then, their eyes locked. There was no sound save for the crickets and loons. No one breathed until, a few seconds into the standoff, they burst into laughter. In unison.
And oh, how Tanyalee laughed!
“No need to apologize?” She managed to ask this between breaths, trying to get enough air to fuel her laughter.
Cheri laughed just as hard. At one point she was doubled over in the rocking chair. “I didn’t really just say that, did I?”
“Oh, my God!” Tanyalee had to put her glass jar on the porch floor because she was afraid she’d drop it. “Cheri, I have so many things to apologize to you for that I could be here till dawn if you let me.”
“I know. I told J.J. to sleep on his office sofa tonight because I had no idea how long this would take.”
Tanyalee felt her eyes widen. “You did?”
Cheri nodded, the laughter fading. “It’s good you’re here. I’m happy we’re finally talking.”
“I feel the same.”
Neither of them was laughing now, and the silence felt heavy and uncomfortable. Tanyalee knew she needed to start, but her thoughts were spinning and her brain was buzzing and not a single word was making it to her tongue.
Cheri saw her struggling, and stepped in. “I want you to know I admire your courage, Tanyalee. This can’t be easy.”
She shook her head sharply. “No, Cheri. I am not here fishing for compliments nor am I brave—I am here because I want to do what’s right. I want to release the two of us from all this hate and jealousy, and the only way to do it is to lay it all out in front of us, pick through it all, and decide what to do with each piece.”
She watched her sister close her eyes and lean back into the rocker with a sigh. “All right. Let’s do it, then.”
Tanyalee felt energized, and scooted to the edge of the rocker. “Now, my first question is, how should we organize this? Chronologically, starting from my birth? Or should I start with my most recent offens
e and move backward? Or would you rather I begin with the most heinous transgression and work my way to the smallest, or vice versa?”
Cheri opened one eye so she could peer at Tanyalee. “It doesn’t matter. Really.”
“All right.” Tanyalee used the toe of her sandal to push off and release the rocker, allowing the back-and-forth motion to give a rhythm to her thoughts. “I apologize for trying to expose you to the whole town, what with your real estate failure and all down in Tampa. That was just plain wrong.”
She nodded, eyes closed again. “I accept your apology.”
Tanyalee perked up. Maybe this would go relatively smoothly, after all. “Now I want to move on to Mama and Daddy.”
“Oh.” Cheri’s voice sounded small. “That’s important, I suppose.”
“Oh, yes it is! I want to tell you how much I regret what I said to you a couple months back, when you came to Wim’s real estate office to confront me about J.J. and I changed the subject to Mama and Daddy. I was a coward.”
Cheri didn’t speak.
“I blamed you for their deaths, which was untrue and unfair. I lashed out at you so I wouldn’t have to discuss the truth about what I did to you and J.J. I figured blaming you for our parents dying was the most cutting thing I could ever say to you.”
Cheri nodded slowly. “You were right.”
“And even if they’d died by accident like we always thought, you were not at fault for how they wanted to get away for a weekend. You were just an innocent seven-year-old girl, and yes, you and I fought all the time and it drove our parents crazy, but we are not responsible for their deaths.”
There was no sound except for the crickets.
“And now … now that we finally know what really happened to them—that Wim’s father killed them to stop Daddy from printing a story linking him to blackmail and murder—it makes my blaming you that much more awful.” Tanyalee looked down at her hands resting lifelessly in her lap. “I am terribly sorry for being so cruel to you, Cheri. I apologize from the bottom of my heart.”
Cheri let her chin drop to her chest and remained still for a long moment. As the seconds ticked by, Tanyalee felt her stomach twist into knots. Maybe Cheri was unable to forgive her. Maybe she was simply unwilling. She would have every right. But as Dr. Leslie often said, Tanyalee’s only job was to make amends to those she had harmed. She couldn’t control whether they would accept her apology.
Finally, Cheri responded in a barely audible whisper. “You poured salt into a wound that had never healed.” When she raised her eyes to Tanyalee, they were filled with intense sadness. “The evening of their funeral, I overheard Aunt Viv say that Mama and Daddy were dead because of me. She said they rented that beach house on Nags Head because they were so stressed out by our constant arguing. She said as the oldest kid I should have done more to make peace in the house.” Cheri paused, shaking her head. “I carried around a lot of guilt, and think you knew that.”
Tanyalee flinched. She reminded herself that there was only one way out of this huge mess, and it was through the truth, no matter how raw and ugly it was. “You’re right. I knew. I heard Viv say the same thing through the years and I never corrected her because I liked the idea that you were at fault. That way I could be Aunt Viv’s favorite, the innocent one, the victim. And then I went and did my best to turn Aunt Viv and Granddaddy Garland against you in the years you were in college and living in Florida. I threw you under the bus, Cheri. And, and I am deeply sorry for doing that.”
Cheri’s breath was coming fast. Tanyalee had no idea what she would do because, honestly, if Tanyalee were in Cheri’s place she would probably jump up, slap the snot out of her poor excuse for a sister, and order her to never set foot on this property again.
Cheri leveled her gaze at Tanyalee. “You always had a mean streak in you, even before Mama and Daddy died.”
“That is correct.” What else could she say in response to Cheri’s matter-of-fact statement? Tanyalee really had been as mean as a striped snake. “Now, I’m not making excuses, because there are none, but these days I have a better understanding of why I was like that. It was fear. I was always afraid there wasn’t enough love for the both of us, that you would get more attention, more time with Mama and Daddy. It only got worse after they died and we moved in with Aunt Viv. I was terrified.”
Cheri nodded. “We were two lost little girls, Tanyalee. But instead of turning to each other, we decided to hate each other.”
“I am so sorry for my part in that.” She steadied herself for a moment, wanting to be sure her next words came out exactly right. “I’ve always been jealous of you, Cheri. I allowed it to eat away at me.”
Cheri glanced out toward the water, shaking her head. “What a complete waste.”
Tanyalee felt her throat tighten. No more crying. No more blubbering. “I’ve missed you, Cheri. I’ve always missed having the kind of relationship I see between most sisters, something strong and honest, two women who know they can rely on each other when nothing else in the world makes any sense. I’m only just now seeing how much I lost by making you my enemy.”
Cheri’s head whipped around. She stared at Tanyalee, the last bit of evening sun sparkling in her tears. “I found all those things in Candy.”
Though the statement was accurate, it stung. But Tanyalee straightened in the rocker and put on a smile. “I am very happy you did. You and Candy have stuck by each other through thick and thin. She’s a marvelous woman.”
A frown crumpled Cheri’s brow. “You never had anyone like that in your life, did you?”
Tanyalee laughed. “No, I did not. I never trusted or liked other women much, probably because I didn’t trust or like myself. I always figured they were up to the same shit I was!”
Cheri giggled, and Tanyalee joined her. “It was always men for you, wasn’t it?” she asked.
“Oh, heavens, yes—men, men, men.” Tanyalee pursed her lips. “But only for what they could give me, not for their friendship. I can’t say I’ve ever had a male friend until—” She stopped herself. Was Tanyalee really about to say “Dante?” The truth shocked her something awful.
Dante Cabrera is my friend.
He listened to her. Cheered her on. Laughed with her. Enjoyed her company. And Tanyalee reciprocated all of it. Though shocking, Tanyalee realized she’d made several friends since returning from Arizona. Temple Smathers had become a friend. And Candy. And though she wouldn’t admit it, Fern was most assuredly her friend. Tanyalee was on a friendly basis with Bitsy Stockslager, too, and Gladys, and now with Granddaddy Garland.
She leaned back in the chair and studied her beautiful, smart, and hardworking sister, knowing that she wanted to be friends with Cheri, too. If friendship was too much to ask, then Tanyalee would settle for peace between them, enough ease that they could be in the same room with one another.
“I would be honored if you were my friend,” Tanyalee said.
Her sister blinked. Her lips parted. But she couldn’t manage to respond, which was fine by Tanyalee. After all, she couldn’t expect to enjoy a slice of the pie until she’d picked the apples.
The words came tumbling out. “Cheri, I am awfully sorry for everything I did to you and J.J.”
Her eyes flashed at the sound of her husband’s name.
“I feel so ashamed now, thinking back to how much time and energy I spent trying to figure out ways to keep you two from being happy. It started way back in high school, you know.”
Cheri raked her slender fingers through her hair, clearly nervous. “I know.”
“I had a whole mess of ideas about how to break up the two of you so you wouldn’t go off together after graduation. But you saved me the trouble when you left for college and told J.J. he was nothing but dead weight.”
Cheri laughed uncomfortably. “I was young and stupid—not to mention just plain wrong. But nobody could have convinced me differently.”
Tanyalee paused, taking a deep breath. “Well, now I ne
ed to tell you everything about J.J.”
Cheri blinked.
“Everything J.J. told you about me is true, Cheri,” she said. “I don’t know how in the world you will ever be able to forgive me for what I’ve done, but you need to know every last horrible, evil, twisted thing I did out of my jealousy for you.”
Cheri gripped the armrests of the rocker so hard her knuckles turned white. Tanyalee could see her sister’s body quiver as she breathed. There was nothing left to do but spit it out.
“The second J.J. returned from college and working overseas, I set my sights on him. When Granddaddy hired him on as the Bugle’s city editor it made things awfully easy for me. Our worlds overlapped naturally. Viv had him over for dinner all the time, and Granddaddy treated him like a son. I made sure I was everywhere I needed to be to attract his attention. He wasn’t interested, but that made me even more determined. I simply wore him down.”
Cheri’s eyes went wide.
“I was nearly twenty-two at the time. God knows I’d perfected my methods by then.”
Her sister’s eyes went even wider.
“I will be completely honest with you, Cheri. I did it for two reasons, the main one being that I knew he was still madly in love with you and probably always would be and I couldn’t stomach the idea of that. But the second reason was … well, I don’t have to tell you how gorgeous J.J. is. I wanted him because I knew we would look good together.”
Cheri swallowed hard and glanced away.
“I told J.J. I was on the pill. I lied to him, timed the seduction to my cycle, and I got pregnant, just the way I’d planned. I knew he felt guilty for giving in to me. I could see it in his eyes. And when I found out he went to Tampa to try to reconnect with you after six long years apart, I couldn’t allow the two of you to ruin my plans.”
Tanyalee saw Cheri’s bottom lip tremble. If her sister cried, then Tanyalee would, too, and she wasn’t finished saying what needed to be said. “Please don’t cry, Cheri.”
Her sister shook her head and looked down at her hands. Tanyalee continued.
“I waited till J.J. informed Aunt Viv that he’d arrived in Tampa safely, then let some time pass, hoping he’d go right to see you. Then I called to tell him I was pregnant. Again, I was looking for maximum effect.”