‘Caught for what?’
Amanda reached into her jacket pocket and pulled something out. It was a slightly tarnished gold tube. Grinning, she unscrewed the lid and swivelled up the creamy, pink stick from within: the exact shade of strawberry that she’d admired on her lips, but didn’t have the money to buy.
Ruby laughed, from surprise, not because she found it funny. ‘You nicked the tester?’ she exclaimed.
‘Yeah, I took it while you were queuing to pay for your mascara. I checked no one was watching and I was on the floor so I don’t think the cameras could see me.’
‘Mand!’
‘Why not? It’s not like they were going to sell it. It didn’t have a price on it. Testers are like pens and lighters – they don’t belong to anyone in particular. They’re everyone’s, aren’t they? Communal property.’
‘I think that’s gross. Do you know how many people have tried that lipstick? They’ll have cold sores and chapped lips and all kinds.’
‘Yeah, but I’ll just cut the top bit off and give it a wipe. It’ll be fine.’
Ruby pursed her lips into an expression of disgust. She remembered how irritating it was when she wanted to try some make-up and the tester was missing. ‘It’s not just that,’ she said. ‘Nobody else will be able to try that colour now. So you’ve actually stopped it being everyone’s.’
Unrepentant, Amanda smirked. ‘Good. I don’t want everyone to be wearing the same lippie as me, do I?’
Ruby shrugged. She felt annoyed with Amanda, but she couldn’t explain why. There was just something a little bit skanky, a little bit selfish, about stealing a tester. Ruby knew that Amanda could be thoughtless sometimes, that she didn’t always think about other people’s feelings, and it upset her. Amanda was a good mate in many ways, but she was also the type of girl who didn’t care whether you’d fancied a boy for three years, but were too shy to make a move. She’d steam on in there and snog him, if she wanted to, and then seem bemused when you got upset. She’d done it to Ruby twice over the years, and she didn’t even really like either boy that much. But Ruby knew she couldn’t say anything about that – what did it have to do with lipstick, after all – and so, sighing, she changed the subject. ‘Where to next?’
‘New Look?’ suggested Amanda. ‘They’ve got some great new shoes in.’
Ruby couldn’t resist. ‘OK, as long as you don’t nick the tester shoe.’
‘No point,’ said Amanda. ‘What would I do with one shoe?’
Hop, thought Ruby, although she didn’t say it.
Chapter 4
On Tuesday morning, Ruby and Noah walked out of their front doors at exactly the same moment. Unless one of them had been extremely rude, there was absolutely no way they could have avoided meeting on the street outside. Noah was pleased to have another excuse to talk to Ruby. He hadn’t intended to bump into her, honestly. He hadn’t been peering through the glass in the front door, timing his exit to coincide with hers; it really was just a happy accident. And, given that they lived in the same street and went to the same school, which started at the same time every day, there was a certain inevitability about it. It was a wonder it didn’t happen more often. That it didn’t was only because Ruby was almost always running later than Noah, delayed by whatever it is that takes girls so long to do in the mornings.
‘Hi Ruby,’ he said, smiling broadly. He hoped he didn’t appear too excited to see her.
‘All right, Noah,’ she replied, in a cool tone which made Noah certain she didn’t feel the same. She swung her bag on to her other shoulder, which meant he couldn’t walk close to her. He wondered if she’d done it deliberately.
He fumbled for something to say. ‘So, did your friend sort out her blog then?’ he asked.
‘I, er … dunno.’ She hesitated. ‘Not yet.’
‘Oh, it’s just that … I thought … Oh right,’ he said. ‘Well, let me know if she needs any more advice.’
‘Yeah, I will do. Thanks again for the other day.’
‘Don’t mention it,’ he said. There was a pause. ‘So, uh, what you doing today?’
The look she gave him made him feel stupid. ‘Going to school, like you, I guess. It’s a Tuesday, we don’t really have any choice, do we?’
He tried to rescue himself. ‘Yes, I know, obviously. I mean, like, after school. I heard there were auditions for the choir, or something. You sing, don’t you?’
‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘A bit. But I wasn’t planning to go. Choir isn’t really my thing.’
‘Oh,’ he said. ‘You should go. You’ve got a really nice voice.’
She blushed. ‘No I haven’t, not really. Anyway, when did you hear me sing?’
He wanted to say, ‘You’re always singing under your breath, when you don’t think anyone can hear, when you’re walking along with your iPod or waiting outside your house,’ but how could he tell her that he’d taken that much notice? ‘Probably when we were about ten,’ he said.
She smiled. ‘Oh right, well that was quite a long time ago. What was I singing, “The Wheels on the Bus” or something?’ She giggled. ‘I hope I don’t sing like that now.’
‘Still …’ he said. There was another silence. ‘I’m learning how you can record music, you know. On my PC, I mean.’ She hadn’t asked, but he thought it might make him sound more interesting to her.
‘Oh, I see. I don’t know anything about recording stuff. Or computers. But you already know that!’
‘I’ll show you some time if you like,’ he said. It came out before he could stop himself and he felt a wave of heat spread upwards from his neck to his ears. ‘I don’t mean … ‘
He could tell she wasn’t really listening, anyway. She’d slowed down a little and appeared to be hanging back from him. ‘Sorry, Noah, but I said I’d meet Hanni. She lives just over there, so I’d better go. Sorry. See you later, OK?’
He couldn’t hide his disappointment. ‘Sure,’ he said flatly. ‘Of course you do. I guess I’ll see you around then?’
She nodded, but she was looking in the other direction. ‘OK, then, bye.’
Noah opened his mouth to say ‘Bye’ too, then shut it again wordlessly, when he noticed that Ruby was already out of earshot. I must look like a dumb trout, he thought. Pathetic. He made his way to school alone, as usual.
Chapter 5
Ruby waited until Noah had walked out of sight before knocking on Hanni’s front door. She’d barely taken her hand away when it opened.
‘I saw you through the window!’ Hanni said, embracing her friend. She insisted on kissing everyone three times, something she’d seen in a foreign film. ‘Who was that guy you were with? Didn’t look like Ross.’ She widened her eyes. ‘Don’t tell me! Was that nerdy Noah?’
‘Yes,’ said Ruby, embarrassed that they’d been spotted. She started walking, so that Hanni had to catch her up. ‘But don’t take the piss, OK? He’s all right, really.’ She thought she’d better qualify her statement. ‘For a geek, I mean.’
‘If you say so,’ said Hanni.
‘I do. Anyway, he sorted out my computer for me. If it weren’t for him I wouldn’t have been able to chat to you online every night.’
‘Ooh! Touchy, touchy. OK!’ She hesitated. ‘Talking of computers, what’s happening with your blog? You were going to tell me when you’d written something. I’m dying to see it.’
Ruby screwed up her face. ‘I decided not to do one. I mean, I couldn’t think of anything to write about in the end. Waste of time.’
Hanni nodded. ‘Funny, me neither. I sat down to do it and then I just thought, what’s the point?’
‘Mand hasn’t started hers either. Don’t know about anyone else. We’re all crap, really.’
‘Yeah, but who’s got the time? And if people find out you’re writing one they only go on it and write bitchy comments on it or print it out and pass it around so everyone can laugh at you. Remember that girl in the year above? She got bullied for her blog. She had to take it down i
n the end.’
‘Yeah,’ said Ruby. She shrugged. ‘It was a stupid idea.’
By now they were approaching the school gates and there were hundreds of other pupils walking with them. Ruby looked around her and realised she didn’t recognise anybody at all. She thought how weird it was that you could spend four years of your life in the same place as so many other people, share experiences and memories with them, and yet never speak to them or learn their names. That was the thing about going to such a big school, she supposed. Her dad had wanted her to go to the small, private school nearby, but her mum had disagreed, and because she was the one who looked after Ruby full-time, she got her way. Ruby wondered what life would be like now if she had gone to St Catherine’s. She often saw the girls, with their green uniforms and neat ponytails, and she tried to imagine herself as one of them. Would she be a different person? Would she speak differently? Who might her friends be?
‘Double science today,’ said Hanni, interrupting her thoughts.
‘Mmm …’
‘And we’ve got that careers thing.’
‘Yeah. Have you decided on your work experience yet?’
‘No. Don’t mind what I do, as long as I don’t have to wear a uniform or work in a factory. Who cares, right?’ Hanni shrugged. ‘It’s not like it’s really going to help anyone get a job. Anyway, I’m not going to need a job, am I? Not after I’ve become super-famous.’
‘Yeah, maybe you could get some work experience with Simon Cowell.’
Hanni laughed. ‘You know, that’s not such a bad idea. I might suggest that. I could help him write his put-downs, or become a new judge. Ha! What about you?’
Ruby shook her head. ‘No clue,’ she said. It was so easy when she was little. She was so confident that she wanted to be a vet, and then it was a singer, and then an actress. There was even a short period at primary school when she’d wanted to become a lollipop lady because she’d liked the idea of carting around a giant lollipop. And now? All she knew was that she wanted to be a ‘somebody’. But, unlike Hanni, she didn’t want to be famous for going on some reality TV show. She wanted to be famous for something.
Some people were so lucky. They knew what they were good at, they loved doing it and they could be certain they’d want to do it for the rest of their lives. Ruby thought of herself as average: fairly, but not spectacularly, good at most things. She was pretty, but no prettier than thousands of other girls, and she was averagely popular, averagely clever and averagely funny, with average-sized feet and average-sized boobs. What do average people do when they leave school? They have average lives and average jobs and average families. Ruby knew that would never be enough for her. ‘I’ve got absolutely no clue,’ she repeated. ‘I guess I’ll take whatever they offer me.’
Ross was waiting for Ruby in the corridor outside her classroom. Ruby nodded at him, self-consciously. He smiled, came up behind her and put his arms around her waist. He didn’t do it in an affectionate way, but in a way that said, ‘Hands off, she’s mine,’ to anyone who might be watching. ‘Looking good,’ he said, approvingly, in the way you might admire a flashy car. He said it loud enough so that his mates could hear. ‘Maybe see you later.’
‘Maybe,’ Ruby said, embarrassed and uncomfortable. She stepped away from him and walked into the classroom, heading straight to the back, where she and Hanni always sat with their friends. There was just time for a brief catch-up before the school day started. The Head had done away with assemblies, except on Mondays and on the last day of term, and so, after the register, it was straight into lessons.
The science teacher, Mrs Brockhurst, was a large, miserable-looking woman who didn’t appear to like children very much. Amanda swore she was a sadist who got a kick out of humiliating kids. Why else would she give everyone their tests back in order of how badly you’d done, so you knew that the longer you waited for yours, the more likely you were to have failed, and everybody else could see how stupid you were? Not that Ruby worried about failing. She found science dull but doable, and she could have put money on the fact she’d come twelfth or thirteenth (out of thirty-six) in the test, a few places before Amanda. Hanni was the one who always flunked, but she didn’t care. She wore her failure like a badge of honour, appearing disappointed if anybody did worse than her. That day was no different. Ruby came thirteenth and Amanda fifteenth. Hanni came thirty-sixth, presumably because she hadn’t bothered to turn up for the test at all.
After science, there was English, and after lunch, history and maths. Ruby got through them all on autopilot, by half listening and half concentrating, while she, Hanni and Amanda passed silly notes back and forth, discussing the teachers and the boys in their year. As long as they didn’t giggle too much the teachers didn’t appear to notice them. Who cared if they were actually learning anything?
Throughout that week, everybody in the year was being called out of class to go to see the careers adviser, Miss Duncan, about their work experience placements. Ruby looked forward to her appointment all afternoon, not because she was keen to discuss her placement, but because it would break up the day and ease the monotony. It was almost three-thirty by the time she was called in. She’d never met Miss Duncan before and she was surprised to see how young she looked, not much older than a sixth former. What a weird job careers adviser was, she thought. Miss Duncan spent her days helping other people decide on their future careers, when she’d almost certainly never tried any of them herself. In all likelihood, Ruby decided, Miss Duncan had become a careers adviser because she hadn’t worked out what else she wanted to do.
‘So, Ruby,’ said Miss Duncan. ‘Any idea of where you might like us to place you?’
‘Nope, sorry.’
Miss Duncan sighed. ‘Right. Do you know what you might like to do when you leave school, after sixth form?’
‘Not really.’
Miss Duncan seemed disappointed, although not surprised. She looked through Ruby’s school record. ‘You get decent marks. I assume you’ll be thinking about university. How about law or business?’
Ruby shook her head. She didn’t want to spend her placement bored out of her brain in a stuffy office with a bunch of people in suits, filing paperwork. She wondered what would happen if she was cheeky and said, ‘Do you know what? My ultimate ambition is to be a careers adviser at this school’, but she didn’t think Miss Duncan had much of a sense of humour.
‘OK, then. So what do you like doing, Ruby?’
Ruby thought about it. She liked hanging out with her friends, surfing the web and watching TV. Oh, and reading magazines. ‘I like reading,’ she said, because it sounded better.
‘Hmm,’ said Miss Duncan, leafing through a pile of paperwork on her desk. ‘I don’t think we have anything suitable.’ She chewed her pen. ‘Anything else you enjoy?’
‘Going shopping,’ said Ruby. She qualified it: ‘I like fashion.’
‘Ah, retail.’ Her voice sounded brighter. ‘Yes, we might be able to find a work experience placement for you in retail.’ She scribbled something on a list. ‘Thank you, Ruby. Leave it with me and I’ll get back to you.’
Ruby hesitated. Was that it? Her future career decided? Because she liked shopping? She hovered above her chair, hoping that Miss Duncan would suddenly remember she had an exciting placement that might be perfect for her, doing something she’d never thought of, but at which she’d excel.
‘You can go back to your form now, Ruby.’
‘Oh, right, um, thanks.’
A girl called Lily Lawton, whom she vaguely knew from her French class, was sitting in the waiting area outside Miss Duncan’s office. She gave her a sympathetic smile.
‘Was it OK?’ Lily asked.
‘Sure,’ said Ruby. ‘It was pretty much how I thought it would be. Here’s a tip: I’d make up a really bizarre hobby, like witchcraft or something, if I were you.’
On her way back to the classroom Ruby passed the noticeboard where you could sign up to audition for the sch
ool choir. She stopped to look at it. Maybe Noah was right. Maybe she should put her name down. Singing was such a brilliant way to let off steam and it would be good to have a big concert to look forward to, something that both her parents would have to come to together. She might even get to sing a solo. Inspired by a sudden burst of enthusiasm, she picked up the pencil, which was attached to the board by a piece of string, and read down the list of names, intending to add hers to the bottom. But when she realised she didn’t know a single person who’d signed up, and thought about what her friends would say, she changed her mind and walked away, leaving the pencil swinging forlornly.
Now she felt flat and empty, like there wasn’t any point to anything. She looked at her watch. It was virtually the end of the day, but she couldn’t face going back to class and she didn’t feel like hanging out with her friends after school, especially if Ross was going to be there. Instead, she fetched her coat from her locker in the cloakroom, swung her bag over her shoulder and brazenly exited the school through the main doors. There was no one around to question or to stop her; they were either still in lessons or had already left.
She couldn’t be bothered to walk, so she caught the bus from the end of the road, but got off two stops early, on the high street. She wandered up and down for a while, looking aimlessly in shop windows, as if she couldn’t make up her mind where she wanted to go or what she wanted to do. And then, on a mannequin, in the window of the department store, she found what she was looking for. It was a long, sparkling chain made up of interlinking sections. The necklace was so colourful and so enticing, it seemed the perfect antidote to her boring, grey, pointless day.
Once she was inside, it didn’t take her long to find the object of her desire. It was hanging from a hook on the wall in the accessories section, alongside three other necklaces. Carefully, she took it off the hook and held it up to the lights, and it sparkled red and green and pink, as if the metal had a rainbow running through it. She didn’t look at the price, although she knew it must be expensive. Excitement welled up within her. Her heart was pounding so fast and so loud that she felt dizzy. It was a wonder that nobody else could hear it.