She pretended to read her biology textbook. She looked up, timing it for when he was only a few steps away and most likely to notice her. He did.
“Hey, kid,” he said. “How’s the driving going?”
“Great,” she said. “Ever since my lesson with you, driving’s been excellent. I’m taking the driver’s ed test again on Friday. This time I think I’ll pass. And it’s only my third try.”
“Awesome,” he said. “And then you’ll get your license?”
“No,” she said. “I can’t get it until my birthday. In August.”
“Well, good luck in August,” he said, hoisting his backpack over one shoulder. “Later.”
“Bye,” she said.
He walked down the path. He looked back at her, caught her watching him, smiled, and waved. Then he went into the swim center.
That had been the perfect chance for him to ask her to the dance, and he didn’t take it. Mads gritted her teeth in frustration. What was he waiting for? The Hap was next Friday—only a week and a half away. If she was going to go with Sean, she’d need at least a little time to warn Stephen… .
The next day, she spent every free period hanging out in the hall near the senior lockers. She even ate her lunch there, sitting on the floor, pretending to be studying.
“What are you doing?” Autumn sat down next to her.
“Nothing,” Mads said. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” Autumn said.
“You must be doing something. Your locker’s not on this hall.”
“You must be doing something, too, then,” Autumn said. “Your locker’s not on this hall, either.”
“I’m studying for a Spanish test,” Mads said.
“We have a Spanish test?”
“Well, next week,” Mads said. “I’m getting a head start.”
“I know what you’re really doing,” Autumn said. “Here he comes.”
Sean sauntered down the hall. He stopped and touched the top of Mads’ head. She happened to be sitting right in front of his locker. She wished Autumn would go away. What if he was too shy to ask her to the Hap in front of another girl? Though shyness wasn’t usually a problem for him.
“Hi, Sean,” Autumn said.
“Hi, Sean,” Mads said.
“Hi, girls.” Sean smiled down at them. He twirled the dial on his combination lock, hinting that he needed to get inside.
“Oh, am I in your way?” Mads asked. “Move over, Autumn.”
“You move.”
“You both need to move,” Sean said.
Mads pushed Autumn, and they slid down a few lockers so Sean could open his. He put some books in and took some books out. He grabbed a couple of pens. Then he slammed his locker shut.
He turned toward the girls. Mads tensed up. Was this the moment? Was he going to ask her now?
“Bye, girls,” he said. Then he left.
Mads drooped. Another opportunity lost.
“That was thrilling,” Autumn said.
Mads looked at her. “Why are you here, really?”
“I like to watch the seniors,” Autumn said. “See if I can pick up any good gossip or fashion tips.” She stared after Sean as he turned a corner. “And an occasional Sean sighting doesn’t hurt. Kind of perks up my day.”
“I know what you mean,” Mads said.
“Did you hear he asked Natasha Brearly to the Hap?” Autumn said.
Mads heart stopped. “No! How do you know?”
“It’s the kind of thing you hear when you hang out in the senior hall,” Autumn said. “That’s why I do it.”
Mads let the bad news sink in. Natasha Brearly? That witch! Why would he ask her? Why not Mads? Why? Why? Why?
What about that beautiful afternoon in the car? The driving lesson? The kiss? Did it all mean nothing to him?
That was impossible. It was the highlight of her life. It had to have meant a lot to him, too. It had to.
Wait. Maybe it wasn’t true. “But Natasha has a boyfriend!” Mads said.
“I know,” Autumn said. “She dumped him to go to the dance with Sean. Who wouldn’t?”
Who wouldn’t? Holly wouldn’t. But Mads would. And she was an idiot.
“Are you okay, Mads?” Autumn asked. “You look kind of gray. Maybe you’d better go to the nurse’s office.”
Mads closed her eyes. She felt dizzy. But she knew she wasn’t sick. Not in the physical sense. “I’m okay,” she said.
She didn’t feel okay. She felt crushed, and ashamed of herself, and exhausted.
She’d been willing to sacrifice everything for Sean: her friendship with Holly, Stephen…. How could he ask Natasha Brearly?
“You’re turning kind of whitish now,” Autumn said. “It really looks bad.”
Mads clutched her stomach. There was that pain in her gut again. Worse than ever.
So he’d kissed her. He kissed lots of girls. She shouldn’t have taken it so seriously. She saw that now.
I’m the stupidest, worst person on the face of the Earth, she thought.
“If you’re sure you’re okay, I’m out of here,” Autumn said.
Mads hardly heard her. The pain in her gut subsided. Her strength was slowly returning.
Thank god I made up with Holly, she thought. Thank god I didn’t lose her.
But what about Stephen? What should she do about him?
She’d been all set to dump him for Sean. It was as if she’d already cheated on him. Would this come between them now, this roller coaster ride with Sean?
Stephen would probably never know about it. But Mads would. Would it settle in the air between them, like an odorless poisonous gas? Undetectable, no color, no smell—but deadly all the same?
22 Kicks
* * *
To: linaonme
From: your daily horoscope
HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: CANCER: You haven’t been paying enough attention to your boyfriend. He told me to tell you that.
* * *
Who’s kicking me?” Holly said.
Lina and Mads sat across the lunch table from Holly on Friday afternoon. Lina was nervously jiggling her leg.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “It must be me.” She held her leg down with one hand to keep it still.
“Ow! Someone is still kicking me,” Holly said.
“Sorry,” Mads said. “I jiggle my legs when I get nervous.”
“So do I,” Lina said.
“Well, both of you, stop,” Holly said. “What are you so nervous about?”
“My driver’s ed test,” Mads said.
“Ramona,” Lina said.
“Mads, you’ve got to relax,” Holly said. “You tighten up when you’re tense. That’s when you make mistakes.”
“But how can I relax?” Mads said. “My entire life depends on this test!”
“That’s not true,” Holly said. “It’s only driver’s ed. I got through it. Lina got through it. We all get through it.”
“I wore my new biker boots for luck,” Mads said. She lifted one foot to show off her black boots. “And to help me feel cool. Sean said there’s no point in driving if you don’t look cool.”
Holly shook her head. “That is so Sean. It’s all about the look.”
“You’ll pass this time, Mads,” Lina said. “I can feel it.” She started jiggling a leg again.
“And what about you?” Holly asked. “What’s with Ramona?”
“She’s asking Rex to the Hap,” Lina said. “Right now. I’m waiting for her to come in and tell me what he says.”
“Why does that make you nervous?” Mads asked.
“I’m worried what she’ll do if he says no,” Lina said. “I’m the one who convinced her to ask him. What if she takes out her misery on me? She’ll be impossible to be around. And we’re lab partners.”
“Here she comes,” Holly said.
Ramona sat down at the table. Her expression was grim, but that wasn’t unusual for her.
“Well?”
Lina said. “Did you ask him?”
“Uh-huh,” Ramona said.
“And what did he say?”
“He said no.”
“Oh, no,” Lina said. Some self-protective instinct made her shield her face.
“Put your hands down, I’m not going to hurt you,” Ramona said. “He said no at first.”
Lina let her hands drop. “Yeah?”
“But I wasn’t about to let him get away with that,” Ramona said. “So I said, ‘Listen, Bub, you’re going to the dance with me, one way or another. Which way will it be? We can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way. I’m kind of partial to the hard way myself.’”
“You said that?” Mads said.
“What’s the hard way?” Holly asked.
“You don’t want to know,” Ramona said.
“So then what did he say?” Lina asked.
“He said yes,” Ramona said. “He said, ‘Yes, Ramona. I hear you, and I will obey.’”
“He said that?” Mads said.
“Then he kissed my hand,” Ramona said. She held out her hand and touched the spot where he’d kissed it. “I think he likes being bossed around.”
“He’s perfect for you,” Holly said.
“You live in a weird universe, Ramona,” Mads said.
“No, I don’t,” Ramona said.
“Yes,” Lina said. “You do.”
QUIZ: WHO’S THE BOSS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
Circle the answers that are true for you.
It’s Friday night. You want to go to a concert. Your honey wants to go to a basketball game. You:
a flip for it.
b compromise: You’ll go to the game if you get your way next time.
c go your separate ways.
d threaten to break up with him if you don’t get your way.
e do as you’re told.
Your honey is wearing an ugly shirt. You:
a tell him never to wear it in your presence again.
b let it pass.
c give him a new one that you like better.
If someone loves you, he or she should make pleasing you his/her first priority.
TrueFalse
Your parents:
a always let you have your way.
b never let you do what you want.
c sometimes let you have your way.
Your position in the family is:
a oldest or only child
b middle child
c youngest child
When you love someone, his/her opinion of you means everything.
TrueFalse
Your honey hates your friends. You:
a dump your friends.
b dump your honey.
c try to help them all get along.
d keep them apart as much as possible.
Scoring:
1.a-2, b-2, c-2, d-3, e-1
2.a-3, b-1, c-2
3.True-3, False-1
4.a-3, b-1, c-2
5.a-3, b-1, c-3
6.True-1, False-3
7.a-1, b-3, c-2, d-1
21–18: You’re the boss. You have to have your way. Watch out or you could turn into a tyrant.
17–13: Your relationship is a partnership of equals, mostly. It’s healthier that way and likelier to last.
12–7: Your honey is the boss. You like letting others lead. Or maybe you’re just a wimp.
23 What’s Happening?
* * *
To: mad4u
From: your daily horoscope
HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: VIRGO: You’ve finally gotten rid of your delusions. Now if you could just get rid of those poltergeists…
* * *
You’ve done very well so far, Madison.” Ginny the Gym Teacher sat in the passenger seat of the student driver car. Mads ruled the driver’s seat. She glanced at the checklist in Ginny’s lap. There was a check next to every part of the test, from proper signaling to three-point turning. Only one part remained: parallel parking.
“One more exercise to go,” Ginny said. “But it’s a toughie. For you, anyway.”
“I know,” Mads said.
She got into parallel parking position. She tried to relax. She looked down at her biker boots. They were cool. She wiggled her toes inside them to let their coolness molecules spread through her body.
She was ready.
She backed into the spot and straightened out. The tires rubbed against the cement. Mads hoped that wasn’t a deduction. She pulled forward, which helped a little. She tried to back up. Her tire bumped the curb. She stopped. She was parked. She hadn’t totally botched it. Best to leave well enough alone.
Ginny checked her distance from the curb. “You’re a little close, but I’ll pass you,” she said. “Congratulations, Madison.” She checked parallel parking off the list.
“Hurray!” Mads wanted to kiss her. Almost.
“Go forth and get your license,” Ginny said. “And drive carefully.”
“I will.”
Mads was floating. She clicked the heels of her boots together and felt a rush of warmth for Sean, in spite of Natasha Brearly. He had really helped her, when no one else could. He was the only person to solve the mystery of parallel parking for her.
She couldn’t wait to tell someone the good news. But Sean wasn’t the one she wanted to tell. Stephen was.
She ran into the school building, hoping to catch him before he left for the day. She found him on his way out.
“Stephen!” she called. “I passed! I passed driver’s ed!”
He grinned and held out his arms for her. “That’s great! I knew you could do it,” he said.
She jumped into his arms. “I’m so happy! I wish the dance was tonight so we could celebrate.”
“We can celebrate anyway,” Stephen said. “I’ll take you to Harvey’s for shakes. And we’ll celebrate again next weekend at the dance.”
She hugged him tightly. She was so happy she had him. To think how close she’d come to losing him. It was crazy.
“Can I say something?” she asked.
“Please do,” he said.
She looked into his eyes. “I can’t wait to go to the dance with you. I just wanted to say that, in case it wasn’t clear. You’re my dream date.”
“Me too,” he said. “I wouldn’t want to go with anyone else.”
He hugged her tighter. He looked so happy it almost broke her heart.
•••
“It’s Hap-Hap-Happening!” Sebastiano shouted. He whirled Holly onto the dance floor.
“They are definitely the Happening couple,” Lina said to Mads as they watched. Holly looked sultry in a gold strapless fifties dress, her blond hair smoothed and waved over one eye, her mouth a scarlet pout. Sebastiano wore a vintage fifties suit and a shirt flecked with gold to match Holly’s dress. They were the best dancers on the floor—thanks mostly to Sebastiano’s flair—and looked fantastic.
“Too bad they’re not a real couple,” Mads said.
Her eyes drifted across the room to Sean and Natasha. They looked good, too, in a different way. Sean had hardly bothered to dress for the dance—but when you looked like him, clothes only got in the way. His one nod to formality was the leather jacket he wore over his jeans and T-shirt. Natasha had put more effort into her outfit, a slinky black dress. The two of them leaned against the wall near the door, as if ready to make a quick getaway.
“I wonder if Natasha’s annoyed that Sean didn’t dress up,” Mads said.
“I wonder if she’s annoyed that he can’t stop watching Holly,” Lina said.
Lina was right—Sean’s eyes followed Holly across the dance floor. Natasha was talking to him, but he didn’t seem to be listening.
Maybe he’s sorry he didn’t try harder with Holly, Mads thought. She wished he was staring at her instead, but he wasn’t. She still longed for him, in spite of everything.
Ramona, resplendent in a curve-hugging black Morticia dress, held hands with Rex and watched the danc
ers from their perch on a windowsill. “I wonder if they’ll dance,” Lina said. “I’ve never seen Ramona dance before.”
“I can’t picture it,” Mads said.
“Now you don’t have to,” Lina said.
The next song was a slow one, and Ramona pulled Rex onto the floor. She put his arms around her waist and danced him around the room in a slow, rocking motion.
Holly and Sebastiano left the floor, shiny with perspiration.
“Slow songs are for suckers,” Sebastiano said. “And bad dancers.”
“Sebastiano, no more deep dips,” Holly said. “I nearly fell out of my dress. It’s strapless, you know. As in, nothing holding it up?” She tugged at her gown.
“That’s the point,” Sebastiano said. “Why do you think dips were invented?”
Sean left Natasha by the door. He walked slowly past Mads and her friends, keeping his eyes on Holly.
“Get over yourself,” Holly muttered.
Still, they all watched him. They couldn’t help it.
He stepped onto the dance floor, wedged himself between Quintana and her date, and started slow-dancing with her. Natasha looked unhappy.
“I’m glad that’s over,” Holly said to Mads. “Sean’s not the kind of person you can count on. For anything.”
“Except parking lessons,” Mads said.
“Unlike me,” Sebastiano said. “I’m Mr. Reliable.”
“I don’t know about that,” Holly said. “But at least you don’t leave me hanging by the door.”
Walker and Stephen returned from the drinks table with sodas for Lina and Mads. Stephen whistled their song, “If I Only Had a Brain,” and playfully knocked on Mads’ head. Then he gave her a kiss.
“Slow dance, my driver girl?” he asked her.
“Let’s go.” Mads put down her drink and followed Stephen onto the dance floor. He held her in a tender clinch. She knocked lightly on his head. Getting jerked around by Sean made her realize how much she cared about her scarecrow. Not only did he have a brain, but, unlike Sean, he had a heart and courage, too. Knockety-knock.