“Why not?”
He didn’t hesitate. “I have never desired it.”
She pulled her hand away. “I’m not special.”
“Yes, you are.” Rolling to his side, he looked at her with something new in his eyes. Something she didn’t understand. Or want. “You are very special, Addison.”
“Because I’m dat vitae. Right.” It made sense. He was the Prime, used to having the best and rarest. What could be more exciting than a once-in-a-lifetime bang with the only being who could take away all your power if you nipped her too hard? “You say humans are attracted to you so they can dance towards death, but you’re no different.”
“You have brought me life, not death, Addison. I will not drink from you because I do not desire an end.”
“So it’s just the inner me then?” She shifted away, needing to know what this was before she could decide how she felt about it. “Say I wasn’t dat vitae. Would you still have kidnapped me and taken me to bed?”
“No, if you were not dat vitae, I would have drained you. We spoke of this earlier.” How could he say stuff like that as if it didn’t mean anything?
“Right. Because you were hungry and wouldn’t have been able to stop.”
“In part. But even after I had your blood, I thought to kill you.”
She flopped onto her back. “Well, that makes me feel a lot better.”
He leaned over her, holding his weight with a hand near each of her shoulders. “You are not asking the right question, Addison. You should be asking why I stopped myself even when I knew I should not.”
“Why did you stop yourself?”
“Because you belong to me.”
“I don’t want to belong to anyone.”
“It is not a painful feeling. In fact, I find it quite pleasurable.”
Her heart stopped beating for a second. “Who do you belong to?”
“I belong to you.”
“You can’t belong to me.” She ducked under his arm and scooted out of bed. “You’re…you. The Prime. A king. A vampire.”
“I can be all those things.” He said it so matter-of-factly, as if it was a decision he’d made after deep contemplation, thinking logically, and weighing the pros and cons. But it was completely illogical. And completely impossible.
She grabbed her pants and tugged them on. “You can’t belong to a seer and be the Prime at the same time.” And certainly not to a seer who was only pretending to be a seer and who was seriously messed up right now and kind of felt like crying.
“Obviously, your ownership of me cannot be known.” He got out of bed calmly, put his pants on calmly, and spoke calmly.
She was freaking out. “I don’t own you, Rhyse!”
“If it is the vernacular you object to, I shall use another word. One more agreeable to your ears.”
She finished getting dressed without taking her eyes off him, while he thought of another word to use. As if that was the only problem. “When did you figure all this out?”
“When I realized I value your life as much or more than my own.”
Oh, powers. This might just be more terrifying than him killing her.
“Your face is so expressive, but the meaning of each expression still confounds me.”
That was probably a good thing.
“I will understand them eventually.” He wrapped his arm around her, pulled her in tight, and phased them somewhere before she had a chance to truly analyze that statement.
But one word was unmistakable—eventually. ‘Eventually’ implied that he expected them to spend more time with each other. But ‘eventually’ he would realize he didn’t want to belong to her, and ‘eventually’ he’d decide he didn’t want her to belong to him, and then ‘eventually,’ if she wasn’t dead, she would try to figure out a new life—plus the dat vitae thing and minus the Rhyse thing.
Right? Damn it, she was so screwed.
If he—
If I—
He’d just admitted something she never would have. Because there was no way in hell or on Earth that he felt the same way. Except he did, which meant…
I’m so screwed.
Forty-seven
Rhyse understood Addison was nervous, confused by their discussion. Unfortunately, he didn’t know which she feared more—the danger around them or the danger between them.
Because he could not force her to make up her mind, he took her somewhere that would at least bring back her smile. When they arrived on the beach, she was silent, looking at the sand under her feet. The tide had swallowed up a large portion of shoreline, but it was still one of the most beautiful strips in the zone. The high moon reflected off the water, lighting her from behind. Perfectly. Rhyse took a step back, knowing she needed a moment to quell her nausea and absorb the beauty of the moment.
“Perhaps there is something you can take before we travel to prevent your nausea.”
“Where are we?” she asked, wiggling her toes in the sand.
“Columbus Isle.”
She turned to him, beaming. “It’s amazing.” Then she laughed. “Why the hell are you looking at me when you could be looking at this?” She swung her arms out and spun in a circle. When she stopped, her back to him again, her entire body tensed. Before he could say a word, she bolted, a flat-out run down the beach. For a reason he couldn’t begin to contemplate.
He could have phased in a few feet in front of her, but instead he ran. Not fast, just enough to roughly match her speed. His strides lengthened, the sand adding an enjoyable bit of resistance as his weight sunk into it.
She slowed and turned around, thus jogging backwards, a huge grin filling her face. “Come and get me, Rhyse!” He overtook her in mere seconds, still confused as to what she was running for. Then her ankle twisted, her eyes doubled in size, and she fell backwards, cursing loudly.
He was instantly at her side. Her smile was gone, replaced by a look of pain, tears filling her eyes. He bent to lift her, but she pushed him away.
“Don’t…don’t touch me.”
He backed up a few steps, so far removed from his element, so lost in what his role should be, how he should behave, even what he wanted to do. So he stood silently, listening to her cry. “I want to be free,” she whispered. “That’s all. Just to be free.”
He didn’t respond, because he had nothing to say. Did she not understand that’s what he wanted for her as well? That, as much as he desired to lock her away to forever be his, he knew he couldn’t. He’d kept her from the city because of the risks, but when he knew she would be safe, he would give her a choice.
She looked up, her eyes moist. “It’s not about you. Or us. It’s everything else in the Heights.”
He felt only slightly relieved. Because even though he would give her anything, freedom was not his to give. She would never be free, not in the way she desired, because of what she was. What all of them were. Rhyse was no freer than she was. He’d simply had more time to accept it.
Eventually she tucked her feet under her, ignoring the ankle she’d twisted. Then she started sweeping sand into a pile, a layer of dry from one side followed by a layer of wetter sand from the other.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“All little girls want to be princesses. Except me.” She spoke quietly, perhaps to him, perhaps to herself. But he listened. “Princesses can’t do anything other than be saved by a handsome prince and fall in love. No one ever hears anything about them after that, as if their stories end as soon as they say, ‘I do.’”
She moved to her knees to broaden her reach, to draw more sand to where she needed it. “I always pretended to be the queen. Because even though she’s usually a total bitch, she does shit, accomplishes shit, goes after what she wants. If she wasn’t so obsessed with the stupid princess, she’d be totally fine. Her jealousy destroys her, wanting things that don’t belong to her, things she shouldn’t have. Trying to be someone she isn’t because she never believes who she is could possibly be eno
ugh.”
Rhyse walked around her until he could see her face. Then he did something he never would have thought himself capable or desirous of. He sat down in the sand, on the opposite side of the rough castle she was building. Stranger than that—he dug his hands into the earth to help her gather what she needed to make it stronger.
“Then I grew up and realized how stupid all those fairy tales are. I got drafted as a disposal tech, and I saw things I didn’t want to and learned how dangerous the world is. But I knew if I kept my head down, I’d be okay. If I pretended things weren’t what they were, I’d be okay.” She looked up into his eyes, perfectly still. “I wasn’t okay. I wasn’t a princess, and I wasn’t a queen. I wasn’t even one of the dwarfs or a sidekick. I thought I wasn’t even in the story. But I am, aren’t I? Not like the ones we read as children—this one would scare the shit out of a kid.” Even her breath was broken. “Because there is no happy ending, and the good doesn’t stand a chance of winning. Not a chance.”
Her eyes pleaded with him to understand something he couldn’t. He didn’t know how to begin. “But I don’t think it’s my choice anymore. I guess it was never my choice—I just didn’t know it until now. I don’t stand a chance, but I have to be someone I don’t want to be, anyway.”
“Addison? I...”
“You don’t have to say anything. I’m being—”
“Human?”
“Mostly human.” She wiped her eyes on her shoulders, holding out her sand covered hands. After a moment, she looked down and focused on the castle again, her voice even softer when she spoke. “I always thought eventually I would understand where I belong. But the older I get and the more I learn about myself, the less I belong anywhere.”
“You belong with me.”
She looked at him with tortured eyes. So frail, so uncertain.
“You belong with me, Addison.” He leaned over the sand castle and kissed her. The sand on her hands scratched the sides of his face as she held him, leaning back, pulling him towards her. Unable to hold even a fraction of his weight, the structure crumbled apart beneath him. Her hands moved to the collar of his shirt, clutching it.
He cradled her head as he lay her down, still holding her mouth with his. Their entire beings moving in synchronicity—breath, pulse, desire. He undressed her slowly, carefully, not knowing if this was what she needed. Everything was new to him. Everything he’d never cared about before now vitally important.
His human emotions had disappeared when he’d stopped fighting what he was and finally understood no redemption was possible. So he’d forgotten their beauty, their power, their depth. With her, he felt them all again.
She pushed him away. “Not in the sand. It gets...everywhere.” Although her eyes remained red and pensive, the corners of her mouth lifted as she discovered a different way to be happy, to adapt, to recover, from a part of her he would die to protect. A light so rare, a fire so unique to her. Something he could never possess.
She scrambled out from under him, undressing on her way to the water. There were riptides here, areas of danger that could sweep her away from him. He ripped off his clothes and quickly caught up with her, taking her by the waist and carrying her into deeper water, refusing to put her down.
She adjusted her body until her legs were wrapped around him. They stared at each other in the moonlight as she slowly let him inside her.
~ ~ ~
Addison shivered, despite Rhyse’s warmth around her and inside her. She blamed her fatigue on a very emotional day because right now, everything was perfect.
“You are cold,” he said, breaking their kiss. “I will take you home.” Before she could disagree or tell him she wanted to spend the rest of her life doing exactly this, exactly here, with him, they were in front of the fireplace.
She huddled closer to him instead of leaning towards the fire. He provided less heat, but so much more strength. He sat down in the closest chair without letting go of her, his cock still hard inside her.
“Oh, no! We left our clothes on the beach,” she said. “Someone will find them and think two people drowned.”
“Someone will find them and think two people were so busy being naked they forgot about their clothes. Do not be surprised if we see someone else wearing them when we go back.”
“Okay, but you’re going to have to take me shopping.” She laughed. “No more leather, though.”
He brushed a wet lock of hair off her cheek. “Are you all right?”
Was she? Less overwhelmed? Yes. Less confused? No way in hell. Every hour, it got harder to ignore what she desperately tried not to think about. She’d been so sure the oracle was wrong, that her vision was wrong.
But denial hadn’t kept her safe—it had kept her a victim. Just like all the seers.
Soon she would be swept into something scary and horrible and violent. Something that couldn’t be denied or ignored or avoided.
She felt something for Rhyse, knew he felt something for her. But he was the guy at the top of an unjust system, a world that had to change. That she had to change. Even though she’d never, ever be ready, she didn’t have a choice.
It was time. It was her time.
He kissed her. “Are you feeling better?”
No. “Almost.” She pressed down, drawing him deeper inside. He shook his head, but his body reacted exactly the way she wanted it to.
“You should rest,” he said with a quiet groan.
“I will.”
“Not if you tempt me much more.” His hands caressed her sides, down to her hips, gripping them to prevent her from moving. “If you do not stop, you may be up for hours yet.”
“Have you ever heard of a quickie?”
He looked baffled as she explained what it was. “And that is pleasing to you?”
“Very. But not if it happens every time.”
His laugh sent a rippled spike of pleasure from where his lips were to pretty much every other part of her body. “It will not happen every time, Addison. Of that you can be certain.”
Almost an hour later, he tucked her into bed, his body cradling hers.
“We’re going to have to work on the whole quickie thing. You need a lot more practice.” Not a criticism, a hope.
Forty-eight
When Addison woke up, a few unfortunate things were clear and no longer deniable. Nothing about her life would ever be the same, so trying to get any of it back was useless. If any being ever got through her shield, she was as good as dead, so she needed more practice. And, of course, the biggie: Now that she understood her place in the Heights, she had to do something about it. Not because of the stupid prophecy, but because it was the right thing to do. Her life wasn’t about her anymore, if it ever had been. Damn, that really sucks.
She needed to go back to the city, but not to stay. Rhyse was right—she’d only be asking for trouble if she stayed in the city that was home to more supers than any other in the zone. At least for a little while, she’d live in the tropical equivalent of the boondocks. Of course, his idea was for her to stay up here, but her mom needed more care than was available in the middle of nowhere. So after she got her mom ready to relocate, Addison could say goodbye to her friends. And maybe while she was in town, she might recruit a little help for a plan so incredibly dangerous, even thinking about it scared her.
“I need to go back to the city,” were the first words she said to him after opening her eyes. “To get things sorted out.”
He seemed happy, probably because she didn’t fight him on the idea of moving. It could also have been because he’d just pulled her on top of him.
“I’m trying to focus here, buddy.”
“Continue focusing. I will find something to occupy myself with until you are done.”
She sucked in a quick breath when she found out what he would occupy himself with. With only about a minute before she lost all train of thought, she spoke quickly.
“If you take me home right before dawn, I’ll have a
whole day to say goodbye and get things set. If I need more time, I’ll call you.” Her phone was still in her apartment. “You know, it would be so much easier if you guys used telepathy. Like the angels.”
“And a few of the other races.”
“Seriously? Which ones?” When he didn’t respond to her teasing, her jaw dropped open. “Do you? Is that something seers and…other beings can learn? Can you teach me how to do it?”
“Stop ignoring me, and I may try.”
“Liar. Other races can’t do it,” she grumbled. “Say you’ll take me back to the city, and I’ll stop ignoring you.”
He sighed. “Although I hoped I would never have to see it again, I will take you to your apartment before dawn. You will not leave there until it is completely light outside, and you will carry your cellular phone with you at all times.”
“I just love it when you order me to do things.”
“Good. Because there is more. You will call me every hour on the hour to tell me how much you miss me.”
“You want me to lie every hour on the hour?” She laughed until he silenced her with a kiss it would have been impossible to ignore.
And…just before dawn, she was in her apartment wanting to throw up.
“There will be no more traveling for an hour after you have eaten,” Rhyse said. “Someone waits for you outside the building.”
“Who?”
“I do not know. She is a seer who knows how to block fairly well.” He covered Addison’s mouth. “She is thinking of the Treaty celebration. And you.”
“Well, we could wait here until you pick up enough tidbits to make sense out of it. Or…I could just go look.”
“Or I could rip through her pathetic shield as if it were tissue paper and know—”
“Let’s start my way,” she said quickly.
With Rhyse’s arms around her waist as if something was going to suck her out the door, she peeked outside and saw a woman sitting on the top step of the walkup. “We’re all clear, captain. She’s a friend. Dating a warlock. Totally nonthreatening. Name’s Dawn.”
“Dawn?” he said, grimacing. “I already dislike her.”