“I don’t know. A couple vamps, weres, maybe a witch. I wasn’t really focused on them. Does it matter?”
“They were wrong, Addison. Perhaps deliberately, or perhaps accidentally, but they were wrong.”
“About what?”
“Do you know why mind-scraping is so rare? Why the last occurrence in this zone was well over a century ago? Because there are protocols, laws all higher beings must follow with regards to wiping a mind. Your mother is completely human, correct?”
She nodded.
“Then the number you are looking for is seven. The human mind can be wiped seven times. A seer’s eleven. Each of the other races is different. After that number is reached, wiping is forbidden.”
Seven.
“If I had known…” He held her close and spoke into her hair.
“Knowing the number wouldn’t have mattered,” Logan said. “They would never have just let her go without the wipe.”
“The law states that when a human is wiped for the sixth time, they must be relocated to a country close to the equator where they are far less likely to run into any supernatural being. They are given appropriate memories to prevent them from wanting to visit densely populated areas or even travel abroad. They are also given enough money to live the rest of their lives in comfort. The seventh wipe is almost never used and the eighth…is illegal.”
Logan cleared his throat. “Have I been wiped?”
“I would need to touch you to know.”
“Of course you would,” he grumbled. “Go ahead. It’s nothing fucking new.”
“Believe me, it will not be pleasant for either of us. Because I must close my eyes, if you move I will assume you mean to kill me. So keep your hands to yourself.”
“Fucking vampires.”
“Turn around.”
Logan groaned. “Ah, come on. Seriously?”
“I am not forcing you to do anything. You asked me.”
“I know. Just do it.”
After Addison got out of the way, Rhyse stepped in close, his chest an inch from Logan’s back.
“I swear to the powers, Vamp.”
“He’s not going to hurt you,” Addison said.
“And I am certainly not going to fuck you, Toy.”
Logan bristled.
Addison smacked Rhyse. “Did you really think that would make things easier for anybody?”
Rhyse put his hands on Logan’s shoulders, closed his eyes, and then leaned forward until their heads almost touched. When Logan flinched, Rhyse hissed. “Do not move.”
“Motherfucker,” Loge grumbled.
“Completely incorrect. While I admit to more than my fair share of sins, that was definitely not one of them.”
Logan chuckled but stayed still until Rhyse pulled away. “So…?”
“You are a seer, therefore your mind is able to accept a wipe better than a human.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He paused. “More than once?”
Rhyse’s pause was longer. “Nine times.”
“No joke?”
“I have very little sense of humor.” He nodded to Addison. “Ask her.”
“Nine wipes,” Logan muttered. He was quiet, still, except for his eyes which seemed to be unable to stop searching for something. Or maybe reliving something. Then they began to shine, fill. “That doesn’t make sense. Why would they? Nine times? Fuck, I still remember what they do to—” He ran his hands through his hair and tugged on it as if he could somehow reverse it all. “Some of the shit that has happened to me…Fuck!” He looked at her through the glistening eyes of a wounded soul. “Nine.”
Addison realized how much he’d been holding back, keeping inside, because, in his eyes, she saw the damage he’d been hiding. She wanted to reach out to him, hug him, make everything different, hold his hand so it would stop shaking. “I’m sorry.”
“I may be able to give your memories back to you,” Rhyse said, “if you want them.”
“Fuck, no.” Laughing bitterly, he ran his hands over his face. “I have some seriously fucked-up memories. I never, ever want to know what the bastards didn’t want me to remember.” He walked into the next room with a purpose Addison didn’t understand.
“Lo—”
Rhyse held her arm. “Let him go.” They heard Logan cry out from a room down the hallway, then the sound of something heavy get knocked over and glass shattered.
“It is just furniture,” Rhyse said quietly. “He needs the violence, to express what words cannot. We must respect that.” He took her by the shoulders and turned her towards him. “I did not know about your mother. I am sorry, but I cannot bring her back to you.”
After another crash, Logan came stalking back in. “So if this would be the tenth time, that means I should be sent off to Bora Bora to drink cheap booze and fuck whoever I want to, right?”
Rhyse nodded. “If that is what you wish to do.”
When Loge looked at her, she didn’t know what to say. She knew what she wanted to scream, which was: ‘Hurry up!’ He would be free—of the box, the supers, this entire life. And damn it, she would miss him.
“Yeah,” he said. “That’s exactly what I want. But if no one else can know, are you gonna cough up the dough and take me there?”
“Yes.”
“Fucking A. I’m getting out, Addison. I’m free.” When he threw his arms around her and swung her in a circle, she heard Rhyse growl. Loge must have too, because he set her down quickly and did an exaggerated bow to the vampire. “One more thing, though: I don’t wanna be wiped.”
“That is non-negotiable.”
“I’ll be in the middle of fucking nowhere, tanning my ass, and drinking myself into an early grave. I promise you, if a super gets within ten yards of me, I will run for my sorry-ass life. I will stay out of trouble. But nothing else gets taken out of my head.” He looked at her. “I have a few memories I want to keep.”
Rhyse studied him for a while, occasionally glancing at Addison, who tried to send as many positive vibes as she could. “There are conditions.”
“Done.”
“Hear them before you agree.”
After Logan nodded, unsuccessfully trying to contain his grin, Rhyse continued. “You never go to any major city—in this zone or any other.”
“Done.”
“You never speak Addison’s name or expose what she is in any way to anyone. Ever. Do you understand? Not the woman you are fucking, not your wife, not your psychologist.”
“Done.”
“You will learn how to shield your mind. And once you know how, you will practice. And once you are good at it, you will get better at it.”
“You’re gonna teach me?”
“Do you agree?”
“Yeah.”
“Then, if you can learn to my standards, I will let you go, but you should expect regular visits. I will check on you, and I will test you—while you are sober and while you are drunk. And if you are not following any of the conditions, not even Addison will be able to stop me.”
“I’m in, Vamp. I’m so fucking in.”
It was decided that Logan would stay with them until he learned how to shield. The look on her friend’s face when Rhyse notified whoever he was supposed to notify that Logan wouldn’t be going back to the box brought tears to her eyes. He was going to be free. And happy. When he grabbed her for another bear hug, Rhyse threw a hissy fit again. But Addison only scowled at him, too excited for Logan to want anything to ruin the moment.
When the men went downstairs to begin, Addison realized that no one had brought up the idea of her doing the same thing. Not even her. Was she so committed to this insanely dangerous plan that she’d give up a chance at total freedom for it? She and Rhyse could still see each other if she lived on an island in the middle of nowhere. He could probably buy them an island in the middle of nowhere. But then she’d be stuck there—unable to return on a whim, to visit her mom, to create the kind of future she wanted for all seers.
Sixty-two
When Rhyse came into the library, Addison opened her eyes and sat up to give him room on the couch.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“I have a headache.” She lowered the hand she’d been pressing on the side of her head. “But don’t worry—I’m not trying to get out of having sex with you.”
“I would never worry about that.”
She laughed. “Of course you wouldn’t. Because it would never happen.”
“Why does your head ache?” he asked, rubbing the base of her skull with just enough pressure to feel awesome and not enough to break her neck.
“I think I’m just dehydrated. All I drink here is blood.” She grimaced when she heard what she’d just said. “Oh, man! Sometimes you don’t know how truly horrible something is until you say it out loud.”
“I quite enjoy it,” he said, getting up and disappearing. Thirty seconds later, he was back with a glass of water and what looked like aspirin.
“That’s a heck of a convenient skill you have there.” She took both gratefully.
“Those are the last. Evidently Logan has gone through an entire bottle and blames me for it.” Learning how to shield sucked.
“How’s he doing?”
“He is more disciplined than you and is taking it more seriously, although that is not saying much. He needed a break, so the young witch took him into town with her.”
“Felicity,” she corrected.
“Yes, Felicity, the young witch.” He lifted her and set her on his lap.
“About that other thing…”
“Your mother.”
Okay, about that other other thing. “She’s not really my mom.”
“She treated you as her own for twenty years of your life, and you never knew differently. Has she not earned the right?” How did he know that was exactly what she needed to hear?
“Why did the Council lie about the wipes? Why would they do that?”
“I think the first question is who would do that, and I will find out.”
She knew what he’d do then. “Don’t do it. At least not right away. I want to know, but…I don’t know.”
He smiled. “That makes no sense.”
“What do you expect from someone who’s only pretending to be human?”
He kissed her forehead. “A great deal.”
They spent the next few hours in front of the fire. He held her while she told him everything she remembered from her youth. Since she didn’t have many memories from before she woke up in this body, most of them were real.
“What are you doing in here?” Addison found Logan in front of the kitchen fireplace, his head between his hands. “You okay?”
“This shit is torture. My brain feels like it’s about to come flying out the top of my skull. I figured it would be easier to clean up if it happened in here.”
“Rhyse is being kind of rough, huh?”
He shrugged. “S’all good. I mean, yeah, but I get it. He needs to know I won’t accidentally tattle on his girl.”
Am I ‘his girl’? That would take some getting used to.
Rhyse’s voice barreled in before he did. “Yes, you are my girl, and your shielding is nonexistent. Sit down next to Logan.”
“I can’t. I need to go back to the city.”
“No.”
“Somebody once told me I wasn’t a prisoner.” She put her hands on her hips. “You can’t just keep me here forever.”
“Who is Parker?” he asked.
“What?” she whined. Damn it.
“You are thinking of someone named Parker. Again, you were not shielding so no, you do not get to go out.” If he’d seen why she was thinking about Parker, she’d already have cuffs around her wrists and ankles, so her shielding couldn’t be that bad.
“Excuse me for thinking I could let my guard down here.” And for being stupid.
“The only time you may let your guard down is when you and I are the only people in the room, and we are both naked.”
Logan groaned. “How about that’s the only time you say stuff like that, too?”
Addison took a few steps back. “Try again, Rhyse.” After a moment of impatience, he closed his eyes.
When he opened them, she said, “See? You still have no idea what I’m getting you for your birthday. Because I shielded. You like fuzzy slippers, don’t you? D’oh! I spoiled the surprise.”
“This is not a joke, Addison.”
“Let me say goodbye to a few friends before I go into hiding. That’s all.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, because she still hadn’t decided what to do. But she needed freedom to think about it, to plan it, away from the confusion being with Rhyse brought.
“I will bring them here, as I did Logan. Though that turned out differently than I had expected.”
“For power’s sake, Rhyse. I’m not a child. I’ll have my phone, and I will call you every hour on the hour to tell you how much I miss you.”
“You mean, us,” Logan added, laughing.
“I am so not enjoying you two as friends,” she said, grimacing. “Wasn’t your head going to explode earlier, Logan? Conserve your strength because it’s only going to get worse.”
He groaned at the thought, hopefully forgetting all others.
“The witches are being human,” she said. “I can shield, and you probably have kingly shit to do.”
He sighed. “I will be busy tonight; therefore, it will have to be before dawn tomorrow. Unlike last time, you will call every hour on the hour. If you do not, I will send a demon after you.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Logan said, echoing what she’d been thinking.
“I have very little sense of humor. And about this, I have none.”
Addison waited up for Rhyse to get back from wherever he needed to go. This nocturnal thing was going to take some getting used to
He came back a few hours before dawn. “I hoped I would be here sooner, but there was much to discuss.”
“Want to share?”
When he held her eyes a little too long before shaking his head sadly, she thought he must know what she was planning. Maybe he’d already picked through Logan’s mind. She hadn’t worried, because Rhyse would only see what the seer was currently thinking about—and Logan had barely stopped smiling, so her guess was that he probably hadn’t stopped thinking about cold beer and hot sand.
If Rhyse did know, she’d find out right after Rhyse started yelling at her and right before she started yelling back.
He pulled her close and kissed her. “Do not go. I have not had my fill of you yet.”
“I was actually just going to take a bath, but I’ll keep that in mind.” She held his face between her hands. Maybe they should have it out right now. He’d obviously heard something he wasn’t happy about, probably involving her, and since he wasn’t covered in blood, it wasn’t that everyone knew what she was.
So it had to be something about the Rising. Stupid, stupid prophecies. Once you’re in one, any privacy you have goes completely out the window.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
He paused before answering, then he kissed her deeply, holding her as if he’d never let her go. But eventually he did. “Whatever happens next…please be careful.”
“Aren’t I always?” she joked. His only response was a darker shadow sweeping over his face. “Rhyse, are you sure everything is okay?”
“I almost lost you. I am just beginning to understand what that would do to me.” He looked away briefly, then turned her towards the stairs and swatted her on the butt. “Go take your bath.”
“Wanna join me?” Great. Fill any awkward pause with the suggestion of sex. Don’t actually share what’s on your mind, the huge revelation. Just fuck him so you can forget it for a little while. Very productive.
“Soon. I must go see how Logan is doing first.”
“Damn, and here I thought all this was irresistible.” She wiggled in a circle.
“Believe me, my pet, it is. But when we are together, I want my mind to be on you, not on the man in the kitchen.”
She laughed. “Hurry up, then.” With one last look, he walked away.
Addison stayed in the bath, waiting for him, trying to figure out what to say, afraid of what he’d say back. But he never showed up. Obviously, he wasn’t telling her something. Not that she could be angry at him for keeping things from her, considering she was keeping things from him.
She dried off and crawled into bed, waiting for him to appear. She could’ve gone to look for him, but something held her back.
Funny—they’d felt every bit of each other’s bodies and taken turns almost dying in each other’s arms, but the truth was keeping them apart.
Sixty-three
Rhyse didn’t go to find Logan as he’d told Addison he would. After his visit to the oracle, he needed time to think, to plan, and to grieve. For the rest of the night, he stared out the window, watching innumerable snowflakes fall and join the thick pillow of white covering everything. Did it protect what lay beneath, or did it smother?
For well over three hundred years, he’d walked the earth, yet he’d never felt as heavy as he had coming back here. Or as lonely. For someone who only recently learned how good it felt to be cared for, to care for someone, he was surprised how quickly it had become integral and how much power it had over him. Thankfully, Addison hadn’t seemed to notice the depth of his sadness.
He’d gone to the oracle to learn if there was anything he could do to make sure Addison remained safe. But by the time he reached the oracle’s chamber, he already knew.
In a vision, he’d seen his future and Addison’s role in it. Because they were connected, a part of one another, he sensed strength and fear warring within her while another war raged in front of her. He’d also seen where he was standing…and where he wasn’t.
But timelines could change or be redirected—a lesson he’d forgotten. Instead of mourning the loss of what he wanted, he would create it, inasmuch as he could.
The oracle told him little he hadn’t already seen or heard. There would be trials for both Addison and him—some would touch the other, most would not. Because there was so much he could not control—including her—it was absolutely imperative he did everything he could before she realized what he was doing.