“How the hell did you get on my property?” Dad asked.
“I climbed your fucking fortress wall. I just want to talk to Lanie.”
I reached the bottom step just as Dad instructed Mom to call the police. She scurried enthusiastically off in her high heels to do Dad’s bidding.
“Lanie!” Kellan called again.
“I’m here.” My voice was ragged and quiet and barely audible over my dad’s thundering pulse.
Kellan looked past my dad. He looked as wrung out with anguish as I felt.
“No, you don’t get to look like that, Kellan Braddock,” I said sternly, gathering my strength to face him. This was what true heartbreak felt like, as if I had nothing left to lose. Seven years ago, I didn’t get to tell him how I felt. I wasn’t going to blow that opportunity this time. I walked a little closer.
Dad turned around. “Go back upstairs, Rylan. I will handle this.”
“And you don’t get to treat me like a little girl anymore, Dad.”
Dad stayed between us, and I was glad for that. My defenses were always shot when Kellan was too near. “You don’t get to look hurt. I do. I’m the one that gets to be heartbroken. Not you.”
Kellan took a step forward, but Dad stopped him. “Lanie, please. Lilly was in trouble. I helped her. That’s all it was. You’ve got to believe that. You know how I feel about you. I would never do anything to lose you.”
My resolve nearly cracked just like I knew it would when I saw him and heard him. He was my one true weakness. And so often, he’d been my one true strength. But now I knew I needed to depend only on myself for strength. “You’ve done this to me before. I don’t know why I let my guard down, how I managed to just ignore what happened seven years ago.”
In the distance I heard a siren. “You should go, Kellan.” Then the tears fell. I’d been lecturing myself to be strong but I crumpled. Telling him to go, hearing the words in my own voice had melted the composure I’d been working so hard to maintain.
Kellan looked at my dad and his gaze hardened. “Are you going to tell her?”
“Tell her what?” Dad barked.
“Are you going to fucking tell her about seven years ago?”
A flashing red light twirled around the front gate. Dad pressed the intercom and let the police inside. “You should have left when I told you to,” Dad sneered.
Mom walked triumphantly into the entry, proud that her part had been done.
Kellan looked at me. His dark blue eyes were deep with pain, and his chest was rocking with the short, deep breaths of anger. “Don’t do this, Lanie. Don’t leave me.”
The local head of police, Officer Walker, was, of course, a close friend of my dad’s. He was an ignorant, stern man who thought poorly of Kellan, and any other person from the south side of town.
“Braddock,” Walker said sharply through a megaphone, not even stepping out from his squad car. “Put your hands behind your head.”
Kellan’s face dropped. He put his hands behind his head.
“Dad,” I said, “I will tell you right now that if you press charges, if Kellan doesn’t walk out of here on his own, free to go with no other consequences, then I will walk out of this house and you will never see me again. I will be dead to you, and you will be dead to me.”
Officer Walker’s black police boots pounded up the steps with the handcuffs dangling at his side.
Dad’s face was still red from rage, but his big shoulders drooped in defeat. “Nate,” he said to Officer Walker, “this young man was just leaving. Sorry to have called you out here. Everything’s fine. Just a misunderstanding.”
Kellan shot one last look at me and held my gaze for long enough to wring my heart just a little harder. Then he turned around. Officer Walker waited until Kellan climbed onto his bike and left.
I waited until Dad closed the door. I couldn’t cry anymore. I didn’t even want to feel. I wanted to just drop back into my quilt and never get out of bed again. Dad avoided looking at me. But I stared straight at him.
“So, Dad, tell me about seven years ago.”
“I don’t know what he was talking about. Let’s just get all this behind us. It seems you have dropped him, and that’s a good first step.”
I shook my head. “You’re not telling me something, Dad, and I’m going to find out what it is.” I turned around and raced back up the stairs to the comfort of my room and my warm quilt. It took me a few minutes to decide whether or not the whole damn day had been real, the incredibly erotic morning with Kellan followed by the horrible moment when I discovered he’d gone right off to see another woman, the bizarre few moments when Chase was suddenly standing in our sitting room, the harsh reality that my parents had decided a future with the man who cheated on me would be more than suitable, and, now, the last few minutes when I’d told my parents that I was willing to walk out of their lives for good. The look on Kellan’s face, the brittle sound of his voice as he pleaded with me not to leave him still stayed with me. It had all been an emotional hurricane, and in the midst of it, something was said that I couldn’t shake off.
I reached over to my nightstand and fumbled for my phone. I dialed it.
“Hello.”
“Becky, I need you to tell me something.”
“Ry, how are you feeling? What’s going on? You sound even worse than you did after the coffee shop.”
“Becky,” I said sharply to get her attention again. “You know something. You know something about what happened on grad night, the night that Kellan stopped talking to me. I want you to tell me.”
“Rylan, I don’t know if you’re in the right state of mind to hear this.”
“Becky, tell me. My state of mind can’t get any worse.”
She paused, and I was sure she’d chicken out. At the same time, the pause worried me. She was going to tell me something bad. Something that was going to upset me. I waited. I needed to know. I felt as if I’d been a child kept away from a dark secret that everyone knew but me.
“This is all through Scott’s telling of the story, but you can’t let him know I told you. He’s been living with the guilt of it all this time, and he and Kellan have sort of called a truce on it. So, don’t say a word to Scott.”
“I won’t.”
“On grad night, Jason, Sean Gilly and Scott grabbed Kellan in the school parking lot. They beat him up pretty badly from what Scott tells me. They pushed him into the trunk of Jason’s car and drove him out to the railroad bridge.”
“But why? I knew Jason was a bully but—”
“That’s where the story gets tricky.” She hesitated again. “Oh, Ry, I shouldn’t be telling you this. I don’t know why Kellan never told you. I wish he had. I guess he just didn’t want to hurt you.”
I lowered the phone from my ear and closed my eyes. Maybe this had been a terrible mistake. I heard Becky say my name through the phone. I lifted it back to my ear. “I’m listening. I still don’t understand.”
“Jason had been hired,” she said the word hired quickly as if it was unimportant.
“Hired for what?”
“Jason was paid to make sure that Kellan stayed away from you. You were leaving town. It was the perfect opportunity to make sure the break was clean and that you would have nothing to do with Kellan anymore.” Now her words flowed fast as if a stopper had been removed and the secret that had weighed on her conscience was finally being set free. “Kellan didn’t care how badly they beat him. Scott said he basically told Jason that they’d have to kill him to stop him from seeing you.”
A small sob escaped, and I shut my eyes to stop the tears. “But it worked. I left town without another word from Kellan.”
“Yeah, that’s when Jason pulled out the biggest weapon of all. Kellan would lose his job in the mine if he continued to
see you. Scott still can’t believe that Kellan jumped from that bridge. He was sure that Kellan was dead. Scared Scott good. He ended his friendship with Jason right after that night.”
“The railroad bridge?”
“Yep. They walked Kellan out there, bound and beaten. The train was coming. They waited at the end of the bridge to beat him more. He stayed on the bridge and jumped just before the train got him.”
“That Jason is a fucking monster.” I thought back to the word Becky had used. Hired. “Wait, Beck, who was it that paid Jason to do that?”
This time I could read volumes in her silent pause.
I squeezed my hand around the phone, not sure if it was from anger or disappointment or utter betrayal. “It was my dad, wasn’t it?”
She didn’t answer.
“Shit.” My stomach was tightening. I was sure I would throw up. “Becky, I’ve got to go. Thanks for telling me.”
“I just didn’t want to hurt you,” she said.
“I know, Beck. You’re a good friend.”
“Rylan, there’s one more thing.” She stopped.
“Becky, the wound is open. Just pour in the salt. How much worse can it get?” Then I decided it was probably a stupid question with the way my day had been on a downward spiral.
“Scott thinks that there might have been a money exchange between Jason and your dad again. That’s why Jason was able to pay off his debt. That’s why he sent that picture to you.”
“Of course, it was Kellan’s fault for giving him the perfect photo opportunity.” I slumped back against the pillows on my bed. “My dad is never going to be able to make this up to me.” Tears rolled again. I had always thought so highly of my dad. My entire opinion of him was dissolving. “I’ll talk to you later, Becky.”
I hung up and stared down at the phone in my hand. It had brought me so much bad news today, I wanted to hurl it across the room. Becky’s horrible story still didn’t explain why Kellan had run straight into Lilly’s arms today. One thing was clear. My dad was capable of deceit, and he’d stoop to any depths to keep Kellan out of my life. My being back in town had only made things bad again. For me. For my parents. For Kellan.
I opened up my contacts and found my ex-boss, Jane. I opened the text box and typed. “If the offer is still open, I would love to work for you again. I can start next week.”
Chapter 31
Kellan
Max climbed up on the couch next to me and dropped down with a loud dog sigh. His big head rested on my thigh. I placed my hand on his head and used the other hand to lift the bottle of whiskey to my mouth. I winced at the taste of it, some cheap, questionable stuff that probably only tasted good if it was mixed with something else. But tonight, it was serving its purpose. I wasn’t looking for a good drink so much as a good buzz that would leave me just numb enough to not feel anything.
Dawson came out of the bathroom with a steam cloud that smelled like soap, shampoo and way too much aftershave. “Sure you don’t want to go? I hear some hot women hang out at this place. Think I’ll be getting lucky tonight for sure, so if my bedroom starts a rockin’—”
“I think you need a van for that saying to work.” I lifted the whiskey bottle. “I’ve got my date for the night. Is Huck going with you?”
“Yep. He’s still getting dressed.” Dawson stood there staring down at me.
“What’s that look for? If you put on a flower print apron and put your hands on your hips, you’d look just like my mom used to look when she was lecturing me about some dumbass decision I’d made.”
“Then my point has come across just right. I knew the second I heard she was coming back to town that you were going to end up just like this with a face that is droopier than that dog’s and a bottle of whiskey clutched in your hand.” He did a double take of the bottle in my hand. “Can’t believe you’re drinking that hog’s piss. I was going to dump it down the sink.”
I lifted the bottle and took another drink. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and stared at the label. “I find the taste mellows with each swig.”
“Yeah, I guess hog’s piss might do the same.”
Tommy came out from his room. His look mirrored Dawson’s. “So this is your Saturday night?”
“Yep. So run along, Moe and Curly. Max and I are busy holding down the couch.”
Tommy grabbed his keys and phone. “I’m sure as fuck glad I don’t have my balls all twisted up around my heart like that.”
I laughed. The whiskey had already changed the sound of it. “The hell you don’t. When Andi was patching you up the other night, I thought you might lock your jaw up for good with the way you were clenching your teeth so damn tight.”
Dawson laughed, but Tommy ignored the comment. They walked out. With the exception of Max’s snoring, the cabin was quiet. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, just about drunk enough to land myself in a nice sleep coma. My phone rang. I knew who it was even before I answered it. It had always been that way with Rylan. I could sense her even when she wasn’t with me. She was that tightly bound to my soul.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” she said softly. The sound of her voice made me grip the bottle in my hand tighter. “Just wanted to make sure you were all right.”
“I’m not. I would never do anything to hurt you because I love you. You’re the only one, Lanie. There’s never been anyone else.” My words were sluggish from the alcohol.
“I heard the truth about grad night, about what Jason did.” She took an audible breath. “And that my dad was behind it all.”
I stroked my hand along Max’s back. “I didn’t want to tell you. I knew it would hurt you.”
“I know.” She sniffled a few times. “Kellan, I’m going back to Pennsylvania. My old job is open again, and I think it’s for the best.”
“The best for who? Sure as fuck isn’t best for me.”
“Are you sure? I’ve only been back for a few weeks, and I’ve screwed up everything again. I see now that my dad is completely unreasonable. My parents will never understand.”
“So what? Stay. Stay with me.”
Another sniffle. “I just need this—I need—I don’t know what the hell I need, but what I don’t need is to feel like I feel right now.”
“Lanie, please—”
“I’ve got to go, Kellan. Take care of your—” the last word fell off with a sob.
“Lanie.” No answer. She was gone.
I tossed the phone on the table, leaned back against the cushions and brought the bottle to my mouth.
Chapter 32
Kellan
Dawson came up behind me as I reached the man trip. “Shit, are you even sober yet?” he asked.
“More sober than I want to be. Slide in.” I motioned toward the empty seat.
He climbed in and propped his lunch pail on his lap. I climbed in next to him. The vehicle waddled and groaned as it headed into the entryway, the tunnel that would take me to my work place deep below the Earth’s surface, away from sunlight and fresh air. Away from everything. Away from Rylan.
“As I’ve said before, I knew that day you told me Rylan was coming back that this was going to happen. And now here it is.”
“I can’t take this shit today, Dawz. Save it for another time.”
“Yeah? Well fuck you. I’m the one who has to spend my entire fucking work day in the pit of hell with your mopey ass. Sorry if I sound like a fucking nag.”
I leaned my head back. My miner’s cap nudged forward covering my brow and shading my eyes. Thankfully, Dawson decided to stop his rant. Now, if I just managed to avoid running into Meade down in the hole, I just might make it through Monday without throwing my fist at someone.
Most of the workers climbed off the man trip at the first few stops. Dawso
n and I were the lucky roof bolters who had to go to the deepest section of mine, the area where the continuous miner had already scraped free all the coal, with the exception of the pillars left behind to keep the entire thing from collapsing. Dawson and I would work our way through the mined out cavern and bolt the roof for extra support.
We climbed off the man trip and turned on our lights as we headed down to the area where our machinery and equipment waited. The floor and ribs of the mine trembled as the continuous miner worked its way through the next section. Once the giant machine advanced, Dawson and I would sweep in behind it and add bolts to the newly mined section.
With Dawson pissed at me, and me not interested in conversation, our work went fast. Even without communication, we worked together like a well-oiled machine, securing the roof of the mine. I was lost in my own world, watching the bolts disappear into the dark rock and, all the while, working hard not to think about Rylan leaving me for good.
Dawson’s face shot my direction. His brows were creased together beneath his safety goggles. “What the fuck?” he mouthed to me.
That was when I heard the roar of the continuous miner getting closer, much closer than it should have been. The remote had been giving the operator trouble, and I briefly passed it off as a wrong turn. Then, in a surreal replay of every nightmare I’d ever had about being buried alive in the mine, the gnarly grinding wheel of the continuous miner broke through the ribs of the section we were working in.
Dawson shot toward me. “Roof fall!” He grabbed my arm. “Let’s head toward the passageway.”
I dropped my tools and raced behind him. The noise shook me to my core. The dust cloud that swirled up around us was as thick as cream soup. My safety goggles were smeared with dirt, making visibility even worse. I pressed my gloved hand over my mouth to keep from inhaling the choking air. Dawson was just a dark silhouette with a dim light as he led the way to the passage.