My hollow laugh seems to be coming from someone else. “Well, that’s a pretty crappy deal you made because if you don’t tell me where they are right this second, not only do I never want to see you again, but I’ll kill you right here and now.” Instantly, two large balls of fire erupt in my palms. I raise my hands ready to unleash them.
His eyes flash wickedly. “Lucky you don’t mean that. Listen to what I’m saying…”
“Oh, I’m listening…and all I hear is how this is all for you. Well, I have news for you. I don’t care what the cost is, or if I die trying—I will find the Amazèa, and I will kill them. Not you or any other creature on this planet, alive or dead, is going to stop me. And if you get in my way I will kill you and not think twice about it. Understand?”
“Lucky…”
“Get out of my sight…you make me sick,” I turn my back to him. I can’t let him see how devastated I am.
I hear him sigh. “It doesn’t have to be like this.”
I don’t move. “You need to get out of here, now.” My voice is barely above a whisper, but the threat is unmistakable.
“I’m leaving. Don’t follow me. I’ll know if you do…”
I spin around, feasting my fiery eyes on him for what I hope is the last time. “You are done giving me suggestions. I have my own ways of finding them. And I will. But I will not follow you. I’ll never follow you anywhere…”
“I’m so sorry, Lucky…” He gives one last pained look before turning around and disappearing into the night.
My heart shatters into a million pieces. Spinning, I hurl the balls of fire onto a tree behind me, and it explodes with a thunderous crack. I collapse on the grass and scream as loud, and as long as I can, until I can scream no more.
Then I cry. I cry for Michael and Kayla, and their unjust and cruel sacrifice. I cry for Ivy and Cody, in the wrong place at the wrong time, at what should have been the happiest moment of their lives. I cry for the pain I felt as I spat those hateful words at Kieron, and the cold look in his eyes when he betrayed me. I cry for his unfair predicament…his and mine.
And I cry for us—me and Liora—because our only chance to reunify as one and reclaim our rightful life will mean losing the one boy we both love.
We truly are damned.
******
Tears blur my vision as I angrily slash my way through the forest, but they don’t slow me down. I could run through the woods blindfolded if I had to. I’m too upset to ride Diablo right now; I need to move my body, to do something with all this energy before I explode. I knock down trees and blow up boulders as I sprint through Dryndara, handy outlets for my all-consuming rage.
Tatiana sits by the fireplace waiting for me as I burst through the door and send it flying across the room, narrowly missing her. She doesn’t flinch.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I shout at her.
“You didn’t ask,” she replies quietly.
“Do not patronize me, Tatiana. I am livid. I want to kill…I want to kill…”
“Who exactly?” she asks, a small smile on her face. The rage inside me boils to such a point I fear I’m going to completely lose control. I take several deep, measured breaths, and storm around the small room.
“You know exactly who I’m speaking of. The Amazèa. Kieron. They’re back and you didn’t tell me…”
“They are still far away, and outside your boundaries. Hunting them is futile…even more than when they are inside…”
“But Kieron…he’s after them right now. And he’s going to save them.” I picture his beautiful, chiseled face. Then I picture myself kicking it with an especially pointy steel-tipped boot.
“He has a much wider jurisdiction than you. Besides, he is working under official orders, something you are not.”
“I don’t care if he’s under the orders of Lucifer himself. Find them and tell me where they are. I cannot let him get to them first and save them…”
“Maybe it’s you he is saving,” she says.
“Do not, Tatiana. You do not know that I will be defeated; I don’t care what your freaky floating flowers tell you. I have the element of surprise. I can kill from a distance. No one goes after them…they think they are invincible. Untouchable. I have the advantage…”
I can’t stand the boiling feeling in my blood any longer, so I stomp into Tatiana’s room for my emergency stash.
“And even if you do succeed, what do you think will happen?” she calls out. I grab the freshly-refilled green bottle off Tatiana’s nightstand and stalk back into the living room.
“What do I think will happen? It will be over. I can finally live…that’s what will happen. I can stop being a prisoner of the night, and someone else during the day. I can live the rest of my life knowing that I didn’t let the creatures who killed four of my friends just get away with it.”
I take several swigs, not caring that it’s later than I should be drinking. I glare at Tatiana, my eyes daring her to reprimand me.
“And you just assume that you’ll be magically reunified and your life will go on like nothing has happened? What about consequences from the Legionary? They will know you acted illegally and you’ll be severely punished. What good would it do if you are banished to the Wasteland, or, at the very least, stripped of your powers and demoted to lower demon status?”
She rises to her feet and walks towards me. “…I must say, Lucky, while your emotion and passion make you stronger than many other demions, they will also be your downfall if you don’t use your common sense as well.”
I refuse to let Tatiana’s words sink in; I’ve heard it all before. She’s made it perfectly clear over the years that she’s not as convinced as I am that killing the Amazèa will make me whole again…blend Liora and me the way we were before—a pure demion.
But reunifying my soul isn’t my only motivation; it’s getting justice for Michael and Kayla…and now, Cody and Ivy. I must have my revenge on the monsters who murdered them…I can’t live without it. I need to do what I should have done that night five years ago, instead of what I did do—freeze in terror and run away.
I acted like a stupid, weak Sapie.
I need to make it right; undo what I did…do what I didn’t do. I’ve replayed the scenario over and over in my head so many times, there are times when I believe I actually did fight back—that I was able to save Michael and Kayla—that the split never happened, and we’re all still best friends who love each other and share everything with each other. Sometimes, I’m able to trick myself into thinking that Michael and Kayla are just around the corner, waiting for me to come outside and play—not buried under six feet of dirt a mile and a half away, under the circle of stones I’d placed to mark their grave.
It was I who found the scattered pieces of their corpses and lovingly put them back together again after I returned to see what the Amazèa had done to them. It was I who buried them next to the tree where Kayla had happily given me the nickname “Lucky”, and Michael had given me my first kiss…the same place Tatiana had later found me, catatonic, as the police combed the woods with Michael and Kayla’s frantic parents.
Of course, the bodies were never found; I couldn’t bring myself to tell their parents the truth—that their beloved children were dead, and it was all my fault. Tatiana had ushered me away and later placed a spell on the parents, removing any traces of Michael and Kayla from their memory. But she could not do the same for me.
And I will never forget.
Chapter 21. Liora
I fumble through my locker in a trance. I’m not the only one; it seems most of the students are still dazed by what happened. It’s been a few weeks since the murders, but the students have yet to regain their jovial and boisterous attitudes from before. The hallways are much quieter, and the sound of laughter is rare. Grief and tension are palpable.
For once, I don’t feel like such an outsider.
But my sadness isn’t from what happened here; yes, it’s awful. Truly. But I gri
eve not for the three classmates I didn’t care about, but for the one boy I did. The one who is gone, probably forever.
“Hey, Liora.” Corrine leans against my locker, subdued.
I glance up and give her a half smile. “Hey.”
“Ready for the test?”
I shrug. I don’t even know what test she’s talking about, but I’m sure I’ll ace it without even trying. I zip up my jacket as the wind gushes past, stinging my face. I like the pain. It’s the only way I know I’m still alive. The rest of the time I just feel numb.
I still catch myself craning my neck, looking for any sign of Kieron. But he’s gone. And I don’t even understand what he was doing here in the first place. Or what he was doing with me.
Even though I’d told him I never wanted to see him again...and I meant it…I guess I just figured I’d see him anyway. That he’d be waiting for me outside the cabin one morning and we’d walk to school together. Or he’d be in class, and after school we’d take off to the mountains again…or maybe the cemetery to read poetry to each other.
Maybe he’d be able to tell me something…anything…that could make the unbelievable ache in my chest subside, even just a little.
At first, after I’d gotten over the initial shock and anger at discovering Kieron’s true identity, I’d cried. When I couldn’t cry anymore, I got mad again. Mad that he lied. Mad that he deceived me. Mad that he used me.
I didn’t want to admit that was exactly what I’d been doing to him.
My case was different. If I was still a real demion, I’d never hide it from other demions. But…I guess I would hide it from humans.
Sigh.
I know I’m angry at Kieron, but the longer he stays away, the harder it is for me to remember exactly why I’m angry with him. As much as I hate what he is, there’s a strange comfort in the fact that he knows what I am.
I love that he knows the real me...just as much as I hate it.
I can’t figure out if I love him or hate him. Maybe neither. Maybe both.
All I do know is, I miss him very much. And I desperately wish I could see him again.
When class finally lets out for the day, I hurry to the parking lot and jump in my Mustang. I brought it today so I could drive to the cemetery after school to read from Kieron’s poetry book. I’ve read it through several times already, but just leaning against the headstones, feeling the crisp air sear though my lungs, and reading the beautiful words that Kieron had been so deeply fond of, somehow helps alleviate some of the painful loneliness. Here he’s with me, if only in spirit.
I park my car and gather my things....a small blanket and a snack for later. I’m going to stay here as late as I can before I have to head home and let Lucky take over.
I step over the tangled vines and jagged branches and crawl through the opening in the iron fence. My cheeks are numb from the cold, but I don’t care; this is the only place I want to be right now.
I spread out my blanket next to a large, cracked stone with faded engravings. Then I take out the soft, brown book and open it to the middle. Unlike the other pages, this one has the corner folded down, as if Kieron had marked it for some special reason.
For what must be the twentieth time, I silently read the poem by William Blake titled “A Divine Image”.
Cruelty has a human heart,
And Jealousy a human face;
Terror the human form divine,
And Secresy the human dress.
The human dress is forged iron,
The human form a fiery forge,
The human face a furnace sealed,
The human heart its hungry gorge.
I read and reread the words, a slow tear trickling down my cheek. I’ve always hated my demon side for what it’s done, what it represents. But I’ve always overlooked the flaws I carry as a human. I’ve been cruel. I’ve been jealous. Being human doesn’t make me humane. The words hint at self-destruction with no hope for salvation. Because humans are flawed, I am flawed, no matter how I look at it. I can only accept myself for who and what I am, good and bad. I can’t hold demons to a different standard than I do my own kind. Every element of evil that repulses me in demons can be found in humans as well.
I close the book and my eyes, and pray that someday I’ll see Kieron again and be able to make everything all right.
Chapter 22. Lucky
I gulp down the tall glass of iced whiskey and reach for another.
“I hate seeing you like this,” Bones says from the seat beside me. “I don’t remember you ever being this depressed before. It’s ‘cause of him, isn’t it?”
I give him a look out of the corner of my eye. I don’t want to talk about Kieron, especially since he made me feel and look like such a fool. I still can’t believe I’d had all these ridiculous feelings for someone who’d only been using me. How stupid could I be to possibly think for even one moment Kieron was someone who actually cared about me? The award for Dumbest Demion of the Year goes to…
“I’m just glad I get to kill him next time I see him,” Bones finishes.
“You need to get in line behind me for that one,” I say, taking another sip. “But it’s not just him I’m mad at…I’m also pissed the Amazèa are too far outside my range for me to hunt them myself. Thanks to lame-ass Liora and her insistence at showing up at dawn…”
“Yeah… kinda hard to have such a limited time frame to work with, huh?”
I don’t say anything. I just stare at the back of Gyan’s head and think of poor Cody.
Bones casually leans his arm over the back of my chair. “I know you hate it when I say this, but I’ll say it anyway,” he continues, “I’m glad it’s him hunting the Amazèa and not you.”
I’m too drained inside to argue. “He’s not hunting them, he’s saving them,” I mutter. I gulp down the last of my drink and slam the glass on the counter.
“That’s pretty impressive, though, that he works for the Supreme Legionary. I’ve never met one of their bounty hunters before. I expected him to be…I dunno…bigger maybe.”
I pick up the fresh glass Gyan has set down and aimlessly swish it with my fingers as Bones babbles on. “I wonder what the Amazèa did, anyway. It must have been something pretty crazy for them to get a contract on their heads. I heard they were the ones responsible for killing a bunch of Sapies recently, but I don’t know why the Legionare would care about that. Doesn’t it make you feel any better that they’ll be punished, even if it is for something else?”
“No.”
“Think about it, Lucky…with the exception of the immortals, we’ll all die at some point. True, some of us live longer than others, but we’ll extinguish eventually, one way or another. If you kill the Amazèa now, where is their suffering? Where is their pain? It doesn’t seem they would be punished as much by dying as they would be if they were stripped of their powers and banished to the Wasteland for eternity. I mean, can you imagine anything worse?”
“Yes, I can,” I grumble.
Bones rolls his eyes. “Hurry up and finish so we can go outside. I want to talk with you about something.”
I glance around the sparsely populated Bar. “So talk.”
“Not here. We need privacy. Just finish,” he instructs, flashing a devastating smile. In spite of my supposed immunity to his demonic seductive powers, he still hasn’t lost the ability to charm me whenever he wants to. Drives me nuts.
I begrudgingly finish my drink and stand up. “After you,” I say, waving my arm with lavish flair.
Bones hops off his chair wearing a cocky grin and grabs my hand. I shouldn’t be surprised at how pleasurable it feels having his fingers wrapped around mine, but I am. It’s almost as if I’d forgotten how good Bones makes me feel… like being wrapped in a snug, familiar blanket. It’s different than the way I felt when Kieron held me. With Kieron, I felt thrilled, alive, and totally at peace, all at once. With Bones, I just feel comforted—like a little girl who’s fallen down and scraped her knee an
d is given ice cream and a kiss. Bones is my solace.
Hand in hand, we dodge through the narrow trees, sprinting deeper into the Faerie Forest. Bones is taking me to his private spot. He’s brought me here several times before, yet I’ve never brought him to mine. No one has ever been there except me…and Kieron. Realizing this makes me feel even worse. I’ve allowed my sacred place to be spoiled by a traitor, but someone as awesome and loving as Bones has never been invited. I make a quick mental note to take him there soon.
Like my private grove, Bones’ spot is high on a mountainside. But instead of being out in the open like mine is, Bones’ lair is tucked away inside a cave. He easily tosses aside the enormous boulders covering the entrance as if they’re tiny pebbles, and throws some logs in a pile. “Do you mind?” he asks with a coy grin.
I step forward and release a small reddish-orange stream of heat from my fingertips. The firepit casts a serene and inviting glow along the walls of the cave.
Bones sits down beside the fire and opens up his arms. I immediately nestle into them, my back to his chest, his body wrapped around me lovingly as he rests his chin on top of my head. Together, we stare at the flames as they sparkle and dance; I feel myself relaxing more and more within his soothing, hypnotic embrace.
He holds me quietly. His two hearts beat steadily on my back, and his warm breath tickles my neck and ears as he presses his cheek to the side of my head. I try to focus on how good Bones feels, instead of on the eternal torment I’ve suffered since Kieron’s departure.
Bones had said he wanted to talk, but he doesn’t say anything. The silence is nice, so peaceful and relaxing. I sit there in his arms, letting our heartbeats and breaths synchronize. At least an hour passes before either of us stirs.
“Lucky,” he finally whispers into my ear. I angle my head slightly back towards him, and feel his hot breath on my cheek. “How long have we been friends?”