“No,” she demanded. “Tell me that you don’t want me.”
She was challenging me, throwing down the gauntlet. She was trying to get me to admit that I didn’t want her, that I didn’t feel the need to fill her with my seed, to mark her as my own.
I shook my head and took a step away from her, knowing that if I didn’t retreat soon, I wouldn’t be able to control myself for very much longer. I was mere seconds from showing her exactly how much I wanted her, how much she meant to me. But I couldn’t do that. I wouldn’t do that.
“Me wanting you doesn’t matter a damn,” I growled at her, the fury inside of me rising. It wasn’t anger directed at her, though. It was purely directed at the situation, at the fact that I was a man who was used to getting what he wanted, taking what he wanted. “You don’t know who I am.”
“I know enough to know that I want to get to know you much better,” she answered furiously. “I see how you look at me,” she continued. “I know you care about me.”
So, she had noticed. She was far more perceptive when it came to me than I’d imagined. Here I thought I was being discreet.
“Yes,” I seethed at her. “I care more about you than I do myself.”
“And I also know that you would treat me well, you would take care of me, protect me,” she started, but I interrupted her.
“I would worship you, and I would kill anyone who ever tried to hurt you.”
She nodded as if she knew this to already be true. “And yet all you can offer me now is your friendship?” she demanded, her expression revealing her disbelief.
“Yes,” I spat the word out and then realized it wasn’t enough.
I had to explain to her. I had to make her understand. “Think about our life together, Angel,” I continued as I glared at her. “I’m not the type to take you to a nice restaurant; on the best days, I can’t stand anyone.”
“I don’t care about that.”
“I don’t even know that I’m good company. It’s been so goddamned long since I’ve shared time with anyone that I’ve forgotten how to even be human anymore. I spend all my fucking time with a wolf,” I continued as I glanced over at Camille who was lying in the corner of the room, sound asleep.
I glanced back at Angel and immediately regretted it. She was just so damned beautiful, and I wanted her like I’d never wanted anything. “I’m not like you,” I grumbled.
“I’m not saying I want you to be like me,” she argued. “I like you just the way you are.” She took another step closer to me until her breath tickled my neck when she stepped onto her toes and whispered: “I like that you’re wild and you answer to no one. I wish I could be more like you.”
“Damn it, Angel,” I growled at her as I gripped her by the arms again and pushed her away a step or two. I had to do it because my control was rapidly slipping. She was just too close to me—she was making it so I wasn’t thinking straight. “You’re caught up over the fact that I saved you, and it’s making you look at me in a way that’s blinding you from the truth. But you don’t know me and you never will.”
“I want to know you,” she insisted.
I shook my head. “I won’t allow you to get close to me.”
“Because you’re afraid.”
“I’m not afraid of anything,” I spat back at her, irritated that she would even suggest such a ridiculous thing. “And I’m definitely not afraid of a tiny little blonde with big breasts and the sweetest ass I’ve ever seen.” The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Her eyes widened for a few seconds as if she wasn’t expecting such crude language, but then a smile of victory parted her delectable lips.
“I think you are afraid,” she continued as she nodded repeatedly. “You’re afraid that if I see the real you and accept you anyway, you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that you’re not the bad guy you think you are. And when that happens you’re going to have an identity crisis because this persona that you’re hiding behind, these walls you’ve built to keep people out, will come crumbling down.”
“Wrong,” I responded as I gripped her arm again and turned toward the door, now no longer interested in playing host. She’d gone too far, and I wasn’t interested in talking anymore. But she dug her heels into the floor and refused to budge. She was stronger than I gave her credit for.
Granted, I could have easily picked her up and thrown her over my shoulder before depositing her outside and locking the door, but I didn’t.
“Tell me you don’t want me,” she said again as I found myself staring at the rise and fall of her breasts through the sheer material of her turtleneck.
She didn’t wait for me to respond but hooked her fingers underneath the hemline of her shirt and pulled it up and over her head. “Tell me you don’t want to see me naked,” she continued as she began playing with the clasp to her bra, only to pull the straps down each of her arms before she discarded the bra against my floor and stood there proudly as I ravenously took in her beautiful breasts.
“You are stunning,” I whispered, my dick swollen and straining against my jeans almost painfully. I was rapidly losing the fight I had going on within myself. How could any man on Earth resist it when the woman of his dreams claimed she wanted him as badly as he wanted her?
It was downright impossible.
It just couldn’t be done. I may have prided myself on my self-control, but right now I was taut as a string, and she had no idea how close I was to caving in. Of course the voice in the back of my head yelled at me that I couldn’t do this, not when there were so many unanswered questions regarding Janet and a possible baby.
“Tell me you don’t want me,” she continued as she toyed with the button on her jeans and then freeing it, she unzipped them before pulling them down the line of her legs. When she stood up, I found my gaze riveted to her white, lace panties. I could see that she was shaven bare underneath them and I could also see the outline of her hips which made my mouth salivate with the need to taste her, to shove my tongue deep inside her.
“I don’t,” I started, but the words died as soon as she reached down and gripped my length over my jeans. She rubbed it as chills raced up and down my spine. I grabbed her hand, but I didn’t remove it. I just held it there.
“I don’t believe you,” she purred as she continued to rub me, and I started to melt like hot butter in her hands.
“I can’t do this,” I answered as a cold wave of reality washed over me as soon as I realized what we were so dangerously close to doing. I wrapped my fingers around her hand and shoved it away from me.
“You can. We can.”
“I will not do this to you,” I announced firmly as I took a step away from her and dropped my attention to the floor because I couldn’t look at her gorgeous naked breasts any longer. It had taken everything I possessed to step away from her and now, as I took a deep breath, all I could do was try to regain my sanity.
When I looked at her, her eyes widened for a moment but then her gaze dropped to my stiff dick which was still straining against my pants, and she smiled up at me, fully aware that she had won. It was clear that my body was ready to take hers. She didn’t say anything but simply looped her fingers underneath her panties above either hip and then pulled them down.
“Angel, please,” I started, my voice weak with desire. I was losing this battle even though I wasn’t ready to admit it. “Please don’t do this. I’m not that strong to continue fighting it.”
“Stop fighting it then because I want you, William Black,” she said with authority as she stared at me squarely. “And I’m not going to stop until I have you.”
Then she turned around, giving me a view of her shapely ass as she approached the rug in front of the fireplace. She bent over for the slightest of moments, before sitting down on the rug and wrapping her arms around her legs which were pulled up to her chest. Her hands were blocking my view of the rest of her.
“Angel,” I rasped.
But t
hen she released her hands and spread her legs. And all I could focus on was the pinkness of her folds. She spread her legs even wider as she smiled up at me. “I’m ready for you, William.”
And I lost. I lost to the alpha. I lost to the feral, wild and dominant side of me even though I’d tried so hard to keep him locked up.
Chapter Fourteen
Delilah
As I leaned down onto the rug in front of William’s fireplace, I had no idea what I was doing. It wasn’t like I was a practiced femme fatale with a list of guaranteed tricks. As a basically inexperienced virgin, I was as far from a polished coquette as it was possible to be. Regardless, whatever I was doing seemed to be working.
When I spread my legs in front of William, his eyes were instantly riveted to the flesh between my thighs and the expression there turned to one of pure hunger. It was exhilarating to me, shocking even, that I could hold so much power over a man who was so wild and unpredictable. Me, a virgin with no sexual experience to draw from.
From the second I started taking off my clothes, I knew that I was bluffing my way through the entire thing, but I also knew that the only way to get him to face the reality of what was happening between us was if I boldly strode forward and didn’t give him the chance to change his mind.
I wanted him so much I couldn’t see straight, and apparently, I couldn’t think properly either. My thoughts were a wild tangled mess with the memory of his lips seared into my brain, and my mouth still tingling from the feel of them.
Of course, I was familiar with my own body and how to make myself feel good. I’d masturbated more than my fair share, but I’d never let a man know my most private of places. I’d always promised myself that I was waiting for that one special man who I was going to marry, but now that idea felt silly, like believing in some superstitious and outdated lore. Yes, I wanted to wait for someone special, so that my first time would be something memorable, but I realized now that it was the moment and the person you were with that made everything feel right. Not the timing, or experience or lack thereof.
And right now, with William, everything felt right—the timing, him, me. Even though I’d only known him for a short amount of time, I was ready. Yes, marriage and William didn’t exactly go together. It was like wanting to cage the wind. But that didn’t change the fact that I wanted William, and I had from the first moment he’d walked into the bank. But I didn’t just want him in a sexual way. No, I wanted him, all of him.
I definitely wanted him to be the man to take my virginity, but I wanted him forever beyond that, whether we had rings on each other’s fingers or not. It was strange because I’d always put so much stock in the idea of marriage, but now I could say I didn’t care so much about it. I was willing to take William however I could get him, and if that meant we never would stand in front of the altar together. I was okay with that.
I had no idea how I could suddenly picture our future together so clearly, but I did. And maybe it should’ve scared me being so certain about somebody, but I wasn’t.
He was the man for me—I was convinced. And I was also convinced that it was my job to prove to him that he wasn’t the awful person he believed himself to be. Just how I was going to do that, though, I wasn’t sure. But I had to hope that love would be enough. If I loved him with my entire being, I hoped I could help him to see the truth about himself, that he really was a good man.
But none of that mattered right now. All that did matter was that William wanted me, and I wanted him. Even though he was convinced he was wrong for me, that didn’t change the fact that he was ready and willing to have sex with me.
I could see it in the way he stared at me while his penis strained against his jeans. It seemed to be the only ace I had in my pocket at the moment, so I was going to play it. I’d worry about all the rest later. I could see the conflict playing out across his face, but I had to hope that I could convince him this was right otherwise I had nothing else up my sleeves.
If he turned me down now then it was game over for me.
“Angel,” he whispered, his voice coming out raw, throaty.
“I’m ready for you, William,” I said as I spread my legs wider to welcome him. I could see a battle playing out in his eyes as he hesitated. Even though he didn’t say anything, it was clear that his mind was fighting his emotions. He didn’t want to want me, but he couldn’t help it.
“Please don’t deny me,” I whispered as I suddenly worried that his more logical side might win out. “Please don’t do that to me, William.”
He brought his deep blue eyes to mine, and we just stared at each other for what felt like minutes but was probably a second or so. And then he was directly in front of me, on his knees as he wrapped his hands around my thighs and yanked me forward, closer to him. He continued to hold my gaze and when he spoke, his voice was deep, and his eyes were pointed. I was so startled I almost leaned back in surprise, but he held me steady as if he expected my reaction.
“I will never hurt you, Angel,” he said, his voice stern. “And I want you to know that I do care for you, more than I can ever say.” He dropped his gaze then as if he had a hard time with what he’d just said.
But to me, his words were as beautiful as any symphony.
“Make love to me, William,” I said as I reached for him and lifted his chin, forcing him to look me in the eyes again. “I want you like I’ve never wanted another man…ever. And I… I trust you.”
He nodded but then shook his head. “Sex with me isn’t what you’re used to,” he started.
“I’m not used to—” I interrupted, him but then he interrupted me right back.
“I’m not the type of man who can make love. I just don’t have it in me. I’m sorry but if that’s what you’re looking for or if that’s what you need…”
I had a feeling he would say that, and I was prepared for that eventuality. I knew my first time was going to hurt, but I also knew he’d never hurt me. Not intentionally anyway.
“I’m not looking for anything,” I insisted as I smiled up at him. “I just want you, William. Whatever that means. I don’t want you to pretend. I want you to be you.”
Always and forever.
He nodded as he dropped his gaze to my breasts and then lower still, taking in every inch of my exposed nudity. As he looked at me, I felt butterflies begin building in my stomach and my heartbeat picked up with my breathing.
Part of me felt embarrassed because I’d never been exposed like this in front of a man before and I couldn’t help but wonder what he thought of my body. “I hope you aren’t disappointed?” I asked in a timid voice.
Suddenly the brazen seductress from before was gone, and I was left with this shy girl riddled with insecurities. William had almost certainly been with his fair share of beautiful women, and I wondered if I paled in comparison to them. I wasn’t in the habit of comparing myself to the standards of beauty society demanded, but at this very moment, I wanted him to think of me as sexy.
“Disappointed?” he scoffed at me as he finally freed his eyes from roving my body and brought them to mine.
He shook his head. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he said as his eyes raked my nudity again. “This body,” he continued and then just shook his head as the words seemed to fail him.
When he met my gaze again, his eyes were deeper, full of something I couldn’t put my finger on. Passion maybe. “Angel is the perfect name for you.” He reached forward and ran his large hand down the top of one of my thighs, and I felt goosebumps crop up behind it as he did. “You’re perfect.”
No, you are, I wanted to tell him, but I kept my mouth shut, knowing it would start another bout of self-deprecation, and I didn’t want to ruin the moment.
“Thank you,” I said with a flush. I was suddenly so unsure of myself whereas just moments earlier I’d been somehow channeling Venus herself. Where the heck she’d gone to, I had no clue. Instead, I was now just a jumbling set of nerves on overdrive. br />
“I’m anxious, William,” I said, figuring there was no use in lying to him.
“Shhh,” he said as he lowered himself over me, our eyes locked.
“I need to taste you,” he finished, and I was left wondering what he meant because he wasn’t going for my mouth. Gripping my arms, he pulled me up higher on the rug and then wrapped his hands around either of my thighs as he thrust his face into my center. The breath caught in my throat as I felt his tongue licking me up and down, before coming to rest on my nub, where he circled it round and round.
“Oh my God,” I whimpered as I gripped the top of his head and held him in place, needing him to continue doing whatever the hell it was that he was doing. I’d never thought a man’s tongue could feel like this! My hips rocked back and forth as I closed my eyes and moaned, feeling an orgasm already beginning to build.
William pulled away from me suddenly and at the sound of him chuckling, I opened my eyes. It was the first time I’d ever really seen him smile and the image of him made my insides melt.
He just looked so different!
I’d always considered him to be a ruggedly handsome man but seeing him happy just sort of floored me. It took him from merely handsome to beautiful.
“Angel, baby, you gotta release your legs,” he said as I glanced at my knees and found them slammed and locked against his ears. It seemed my legs were acting of their own accord, having never experienced this kind of pleasure before.
“Oh!” I said while a flush of embarrassment stole over me and I suddenly felt stupid. But I wasn’t left feeling stupid for long because William’s smile soon dropped as his eyes glazed over with desire again.
“You taste so sweet, Angel,” he said as he licked his lips and then smiled at me again.
It was almost like he was possessed by someone else. I’d just never seen this devilish side to him. Usually he was so serious, well, going on the handful of times we’d interacted, anyway. Regardless, I had to admit that this side of William thrilled me to my very core.