11
GUILTY
Trisha stood up and said to everyone, “Self-centered, Greek-letter wearing heffas is what we have been. Hayden, you’re right.”
After I had given my big spiel about how disappointed I was in all of them for not showing up for the public service project, I felt bad that I had been so harsh. Everyone deserved to have a little fun. But hearing Trisha accept everything I had to say with the right spirit really made me feel good. However, no one else was saying anything. Then my cell phone rang. I had forgotten to turn it off before the meeting had begun. I quickly answered it. “Yeah, what’s up?”
“Hey, it’s me, Creed. I’m just touching base with you. I know you were meeting up with your girls. Is everything straight?”
“You’re interrupting. I’m in the middle of that meeting right now!”
“I’m sorry, don’t bite my head off. I was just checking,” he replied.
“I’m sorry. I have to call you back. I should have turned off my phone.”
“Alright, call me back ...”
I hung up before he could even finish. I was bummed with how I was treating my line sisters and ashamed at how I was treating my man. All this pressure to sit here and do the right thing was obviously weighing me down. Christmas break couldn’t come soon enough.
Audria came over to me and placed her hand on my shoulder and said, “And that’s why we wanted you to lead us, so you could keep us on track, and reel us in like wild fish trying to get away from the bait. Thanks for personally calling me out. I’m going to straighten up, and put God first.”
“Yeah, I’m going to straighten up too,” Dena said.
“And I told them we should be picking up trash, but they blew me off,” Sharon blurted out.
We all laughed and a couple of people balled up paper and threw it at her. Obviously, she was having fun like everyone else. I was proud of the support. Maybe we could turn it all around.
So I said, “Alright, we can’t go back. We’ve had a little fun and now it’s time to get a little perspective and really do this thing like we said we would when we signed up to be members of Beta Gamma Pi.”
Trisha, our elected treasurer, raised her hand and said, “Well, I think we should have a Beta Gamma Pi end-of-the-school-year bash, like they did last year. We’re low on funds and we need to put some money in the pot.”
“Yeah, let’s do it,” Bea agreed.
I was starting to think about what she was saying and I wasn’t opposed to it. But I just told them that we had been doing too much of that. I wasn’t sure a party was the right move. Plus, with all our pledging funds it didn’t make sense for the account to be low.
“I don’t understand how the account can be low.” I questioned Trisha.
“I don’t know, maybe all of the checks haven’t cleared from the ones that we submitted to pledge,” Trisha replied.
“But we didn’t submit checks,” Dena said.
“Yeah,” I reminded Trisha, “we used money orders. The account shouldn’t be low. Let me see the bank statement.”
“Uhh, I don’t ... I don’t—” Trisha couldn’t give me a straight answer. “You know what, I don’t have it on me. I didn’t know we were going to go through all of this business.”
I said, “That’s cool! I just don’t think a party is the way we need to go about raising money.”
Trisha appealed to my heart and said, “Well, we need to come back next semester with some funds so that we can really make an impact on the community. I’m not one for parties, but we need a quick fix. Let’s take a vote.”
I was quickly outvoted. That night, at five dollars a head, we filled the clubhouse at Trisha’s apartment complex. It got a little uncomfortable when five of the suspended Betas: Penelope, Edythe, Keisha and two other sorors, came to the door. Protocol didn’t allow us to charge them, suspended or not. It was the first time any of us had been in contact with Keisha, and we all froze when we saw her.
“Y’all go on in,” Trisha said.
Penelope grabbed my arm and led me over to a corner. “What’s going on with all of these parties y’all are attending and now hosting? The event we do at the end of the semester is supposed to be public service based.”
Keeping it real, I said, “We were just trying to get some more money in the account.”
“There was forty-five hundred dollars in the account when we turned everything over to the Regional Coordinator. How much money do y’all need?” she said, shocking me.
“This party is weak anyway,” Keisha came over and said—and just as quickly as she and her crew came in they were gone.
Trisha smiled at me and shrugged her shoulders, not having heard what Penelope had said about the account. I knew I couldn’t believe everything I was told, but as much as I loved my girl Trisha, something wasn’t right.
“Mom, I’m home,” I said as I arrived home for the Christmas break.
I didn’t realize how much I had missed being home. The smell of the apple cider, seeing the pretty Christmas tree in the living room and the sound of the Nat King Cole Christmas CD my mom played every year, reminded me I was glad I was home. I couldn’t wait to be in her arms, but she was nowhere to be found.
At that point, I couldn’t wait to see my sister Hailey either. She usually got on my nerves when I was home. However, being away from the brat made me miss her tail. She wasn’t around either. Where was everyone? I had seen my mom’s car in the driveway, so surely they were home.
“Mom, it’s me, come out. I’m home,” I uttered, a little disappointed.
“Yeah, but what you didn’t know is that I was coming home,” my father called from behind me.
As much as I had missed my mom and my sister, I hadn’t seen my dad in two and a half years. Hearing his voice and being in his presence was the best Christmas gift ever. I turned around and almost took his neck off from choking him so tight.
“Aww princess. You don’t miss your old man that much. You’ve been off to college and I can’t even get a letter from you. I even tried the texting thing a month back and I got no response. Left you messages on your cell phone, and that didn’t even make you get back to me. Your mom says this sorority stuff has your mind completely off track so I had to come home and make sure I still had a daughter at Western Smith College.”
“Oh Daddy, I’m sorry,” I said, ashamed ’cause I knew he was right.
I had stopped writing. I hadn’t even really been there for my younger sister, either. With all the drama at school, I hadn’t stopped to think that I still had a family that needed me. Beta Gamma Pi couldn’t take up all of my energy.
“Your mom is in my rental. She and your sister are picking up some groceries. They wanted to make everything perfect for you. I think you are an hour or two earlier than she expected. You know she’s planning this big dinner. With us both back home, she is going all out.”
And then I just cried. I had totally gotten off track. But now I was so happy just to be with my dad.
“I’m sorry, Daddy. I know I have been a horrible daughter. You’ve been over there fighting and you don’t even know what I’m doing. I’ve thought about you all of the time and I am going to do better, I promise.”
“Well, don’t worry about that. While I’m back I’ll be able to check it out for myself.”
The night was so special. We played games and had the best home cooked meal. Even Hailey, my usually bratty sister, was on her best behavior. Having a home away from home with my roommates was great, but it was nothing like actually being with your family.
The next afternoon, my dad took me shopping to catch up. My mom was helping my sister get ready for her piano recital that we’d all be attending shortly. It had been ages since my father and I hung out. He kept looking over at me. Yep, his baby had grown up. He looked like he wanted to discuss something deep. I wished he’d just come out with it, so I could get him to go deep in his pockets and hook me up with some new outfits.
Breaking the ice, I said, “Daddy, are you back for good?”
“Sure am, baby girl.”
“Does Mom know?”
“No, not yet. That’s my Christmas present to her. She thinks I’m here just for a week. I know it’s been hard for you, baby, not having your old man around, but your mom has been keeping me posted.”
Now I knew he was about to get to talking. What has Mom been telling him? I wondered. Whatever it was, I knew I could always talk to my dad. When I got my first kiss after junior prom in high school, he was the first person I told and he actually didn’t trip.
He touched my face and continued, “She told me that I need to get back here because you have your eyes on some young man. I don’t believe you’ve been sleeping over at any guy’s house. But I know you may be tempted. It ain’t been that long since I was in college, and I remember how it was—there are certainly some things I did that I am not proud of. But dating is different for men, our reputation can bounce back. I certainly remember telling you before I left here, men don’t like buying the cow when they can get the milk for free.”
I said, “Exactly.”
“So, what’s up? You’re not doing anything with that boy I wouldn’t approve of?”
“Dad.”
“See, you look guilty.”
“No, Dad. I’m serious. I’ve been good.”
“Well, where is the young man? Am I going to meet him any time soon?”
“I think he’s probably mad at me.”
“Why?”
“Same reason you are.”
“You haven’t been calling your guy either? What’s going on with this sorority stuff? I never pledged, but I know it’s taken a lot out of your mom. I just don’t get it. What do you all do that makes you forget the rest of the world?”
I just looked at him. There was no excuse for not communicating with the people who were important to you. It was what it was though. During the next hour, I filled my dad in on what happened during the semester and gave him some of the highlights of my pledge experience.
“You’ve got to do better, Hayden. You’ve got to work with what you’ve got. It’s okay to be the leader of any organization, but you have to know how to spread yourself around and balance everything you have going on in your life. Being an officer in the Navy, I cannot stay focused on just one aspect of my job. I have to multitask.”
“Don’t you feel overwhelmed? A lot of my days, Dad, I do. But I love my sorority. There’s just something about it. It’s brought out a side of me that I didn’t know existed. I care so much for these girls, so much that I want them to honor their commitments to the sorority.”
“Great, you are concerned with causes bigger than yourselves, but you can’t lose your family and your friends while you’re working on new relationships, you know? You’re so bright and intelligent. I know you’re going to figure all of this out.”
“I just feel bad.”
“No need to feel bad. Fix it.”
“Yes sir,” I said, smiling and happy to be in my daddy’s arms again.
Oh, what a blessing to have a dad that cares so much. I so needed his reality check. BGP was important to me, it wasn’t all I had. I had to find a balance.
“I’m so sorry we didn’t get together over the holidays,” I said to Creed over the phone.
“I’m just saying, Hayden, I know you have other stuff, but if you want a relationship, it takes both of us. Over the Christmas holidays, I don’t hear from my girl at all, and now we’re back at school and you’re trying to call me. I don’t know.”
“My dad was in town and he’s been gone for two and a half years, so I was spending all of my time with him. I didn’t know he was coming. I’m sorry.”
“I would have liked to meet your pops. What, you didn’t want to bring me around him or even return my calls?”
I really had no answer for Creed. I did feel bad, horrible really. But if I had to do it all over again, I wasn’t sure that I would have chosen spending time with him over my family. It had been so long since the four of us could just be that—a family. It was special, but I couldn’t even explain it before my other line started ringing. From the caller ID I could see it was Dena.
“It’s one of ...” I said, but Creed cut me off.
“Your line sisters.”
“Yeah, being chapter president is crazy.”
“Take care of it.” Then he hung up.
“Hey girl!” I said, trying not to put my frustrations on Dena.
“Oh my gosh, Hayden, this is horrible.”
“What?”
“Our checking account is wrong.”
“I don’t know what you mean, start over.”
“Well, after the dance, I counted the money with Trisha and I know we counted five hundred and eighty dollars, but the deposit was only for two hundred and eighty. I wasn’t three hundred dollars off. I did have a wine cooler or two, but I wasn’t that off,” Dena said in a panicked tone.
“Well, did you ask Trisha about the discrepancy?” I asked, trying to give Trisha the benefit of the doubt.
“Yeah, and she says that I signed for two hundred and eighty. My signature is on the deposit slip, but I know it’s more than that.”
“Well,” I said, scratching my head, “I didn’t even count the money, and I know it was more than three hundred. That doesn’t even sound right.”
“She said we bought drinks and stuff, and that we had to pay for the clubhouse and that took up money, but there’s not even a record of us taking in five hundred and eighty and then spending it out somewhere. It’s just not right, Hayden.”
“Alright, thanks for calling me. Have you talked to anyone else?” I asked her, trying to really get an understanding of the situation I was dealing with here.
Already suspecting that Trisha was dipping into our account, I knew this was serious. The old heads had already let me know we had tons of money in our account. Then we have a party and we still come up with practically no money.
“No, no,” Dena said, “I just saw this. She wanted to go over the books before our chapter meeting.”
“Okay girl, I’ll see you at the meeting.”
Immediately, I got into my car and went over to see Bea. She was elected first Vice President. I knew she cared about Trisha like I did. The three of us went way back to the underground line. Bea could help me figure all this out.
“What am I supposed to do? Penelope told me there was forty–five hundred dollars in the account. Dena says that they counted almost double what was actually put into the bank account from the party. I don’t know what Trisha is thinking. You of all people understand what we have gone through with the underground line being dropped and being the only ones who went through all of that crap. For her to take us through more is ridiculous. Come on, Trisha is our girl. She had my back on the line. I can’t believe she is taking money. I don’t want to have a meeting and reveal this with everybody there. What should I do?”
“I’m supposed to be the one that’s telling you to keep it under wraps, she’s our girl, let’s clean it up and fix it. And if I were president that is probably what I would do, Hayden. But I’m not president. I don’t have the backbone that you do to stand up against wrongdoing. Everybody in our chapter has a right to talk to her about this. She needs to be caught off guard so she can’t fix her story. If there is nothing to tell, we’ll just call the whole ordeal a mix-up. She loves you, Hayden. She’ll understand.”
“Alright, will you pick Trisha up and I’ll text everyone else to get down here and meet in our sorority room on campus.”
An hour and a half later, I had all of them in front of me. My heart felt sick believing all this could be true about my girl. I so hoped it would come out that this was a misunderstanding.
“I’ve got studying to do,” Trisha said, standing up. “What’s this all about?”
Bea said, “Girl, we just got back on campus and exams are over. Come on, you’ve got the lowest GPA out of all
of us.”
“Alright, well let me cut to the chase,” I said, not in the mood for her to yank my chain and play me anymore. “Trisha, we need to see the bank account books.”
“Umm, Dena and I are working on that and going over it. Let us get it exactly straight before we show you. Right, Dena?”
“No,” Dena said, “we went through everything. And there’s some stuff not adding up for me.”
Trisha laughed. “Oh Dena, don’t exaggerate. I can show you guys that stuff tomorrow. This isn’t urgent.”
“Yeah, it is urgent, Trisha,” I said boldly to the girl we all trusted with our money. “Penelope told me there was forty-five hundred dollars in our account when they turned everything over to the Regional Coordinator and the advisor. But you said there was no money in the account.”
“Well, how much did we bring in from the party?” Sharon said. “It had to be like six hundred dollars, because when I counted with y’all it was like four something. . .”
“See, I knew it,” Dena jumped up and said. “You took some money, Trisha.”
Dena went over to Trisha’s face and got ugly. Then the two started arguing. Bea went over and pulled the two of them apart. All the sorors were hot at Trisha.
“Okay, y’all, okay,” Trisha finally admitted with a scratch over her eye. “I’ve been taking some money. Sorry.”
“How could you do that to us?” Audria asked.
“Because I’m going to get kicked out of school. I don’t have the tuition money. I’m applying for a few grants and they look promising. I figured once I got the money I was going to put it back before anyone would notice. I betrayed everyone’s trust. I’m sorry, I just felt I had no choice. I couldn’t throw my education out the window. As chapter treasurer, I know I have abused my powers. I’m guilty.”
12
PROBLEM
I went over to Trisha. I really appreciated the fact that she came clean to all of us. We needed to be told what was going on. Though her confession was a good start there was a lot of animosity. None of us in the chapter had money coming out of the butt, we all had monetary issues.