He pulled away from Delaney, pleased with himself. Delaney brushed down her rumpled shirt and stuck her chin up as she turned around to face me.
“I’ve found that I enjoy a good toe wiggle during sex. There is nothing wrong with that. I just know what I like. I’ve made it easy for you,” she said to Derk.
I tried to hold it in, but I couldn’t. A snort escaped me, instantly making me cover my mouth. A sneer greeted me when I looked back up at Delaney.
“Just wait, once you have had sex a couple of times, you’ll find out what pushes you over the edge, because as much as men like to think that pounding into you with their stiff rod does the trick, it’s so much more than that. You have to rub a lady in the right way.”
“Head, shoulders, knees and toes, right Delaney?” I asked with a smirk.
“Yup, laugh all you want. Just wait for your time, Rosie. After the initial massacre of a man taking your vagina to pleasure town, you’ll start to find out what you like, and you’ll rely on that. You know this?” Delaney said, while sticking her finger through a hole she made with her other hand. “That is called a man’s best friend, but to us ladies, it’s just some simple penetration, nothing to fawn over. What we like is a little rub on our clits.”
“Wait,” I stopped Delaney for a second. “So when a guy enters you, it’s not pleasurable? Everything I’ve read begs to differ.”
“I’m not saying it doesn’t feel good, and yes, I’ve climaxed just from penetration, but if you want that toe curling orgasm, there has to be some clit action involved, or if the guy can reach your G-spot, now that, that’s an orgasm. Mmm, just thinking about it has me hot.”
Derk perked up as he eyed Delaney up and down while placing his hand on her back.
“Is that right, babe?”
“Yeah, maybe we can go to the bedroom?”
“Hello, I’m right here,” I offered, but they both ignored me, tossed their crusts in the box, and took off toward her bedroom, leaving me once again by myself.
“Figures,” I said, while boxing up the pizza and sticking it in the fridge. I should have expected that to happen. It was rare when Delaney and Derk weren’t hanging out in her bedroom, getting it on.
Just like old times, when both my roommates were out on dates, I grabbed my laptop and sat on my bed. I logged onto my dating account and saw there was a message. Praying it was from Greg and not some random guy, I opened it up.
Luckily, it was from Greg, and there was a green circle next to his name, which I had no clue what that meant, but I started to read his message when an instant message box pulled up on my computer with a message from Greg.
Greg: Hey beautiful. I was hoping to catch you on here tonight.
I shouldn’t be affected by him calling me beautiful. He probably called his sister beautiful, but I couldn’t help but feel giddy about it.
Rosie: Hi, I didn’t know this thing had instant messenger.
Greg: Me either until a lonely old man messaged me, looking for companionship. I thought it was nice until he sent me a picture of his wrinkled up nipples, asking if the mole on them seemed to be cancerous.
Rosie: No, he did not.
Greg: He did. To say that I will be hitting the gym more often is an understatement. Seeing old man boobs will do that to you.
Rosie: Do you go to the gym now?
Greg: I want to impress you and say all the time, I practically live there, but I think if we ever meet, you would know that was a lie. I’m fit, but I’m by no means a body builder.
I could see he was fit from his pictures. There was even a shirtless picture of him, and he was cut in all the right places, but like he said, not a body builder.
Rosie: I don’t know, you seemed so bulky and manly in your pictures.
Greg: I’m reading that as sarcasm. Would I be right?
Rosie: Not at all
Greg: Total sarcasm, but I will live with it. Tell me, Rosie Bloom, what did you have for dinner tonight?”
Rosie: Pizza with my roommates.
Greg: Pizza? My favorite meal. Where did you get it from? Wait, let me guess, was it deep dish, regular or thin crust?
Rosie: Regular.
Greg: Light sauce, or heavy? What about the cheese, was it on top of the toppings or under?
Rosie: Light sauce and the toppings were under the cheese.
Greg: Bingo! Boriellos, I’m right, aren’t I?
I laughed to myself at Greg’s enthusiasm. Weirdly, he was right. The man was right, he loved pizza, and after his questioning, I could see he knew it well.
Rosie: I’m impressed. Yes, we ordered Boriellos. Now to really impress me, you have to tell me what I ordered.
Greg: Hmm, that’s hard, because I feel like I don’t know you as well as I should, but if I had to guess, I’m going to say black olives and…broccoli.
Rosie: No way in hell you just guessed that. Are you stalking me?
Greg: LOL! No! But if I told you my buddy delivers for them and when I showed him a picture of you the other day, he said he delivers to your apartment often and that you are the only one who orders that pizza, would you believe me?
Rosie: Your friend is our delivery man? Does that mean he told you about all my embarrassing cat shirts I wear when I answer the door?
Greg: He might have mentioned a cat shirt or two…
Rosie: I get them for free! I work at a cat magazine, so I’m constantly snagging oversized cat shirts. What can I say? They’re comfortable.
Greg: Hey, I can never pass up a free shirt, so I completely understand. Tell me, do they have rainbows on them, maybe a unicorn?
Rosie: A girl could only wish. No, they just have some real life cat on them. Usually cat of the month. My boss loves getting them put on shirts.
Greg: Your work sounds amazing, although, it would be better if it was with dogs, because they’re so much cooler.
Rosie: Tell me, if you had a shirt with your dog’s face on it, would you wear it in public?
Greg: You’re kidding, right? If I had a picture of Bear on a shirt, I would wear that thing every day. In fact, Bear would have a matching shirt with my ugly mug on it.
Rosie: Haha, I would love to see that, and you don’t have an ugly mug. You have a rather attractive mug.
Greg: Why, Rosie. You flatter me. How did I ever get so lucky?
Rosie: The Internet gods?
Greg: I think you’re right about that. So, are we on for Friday?
After my conversation with him, I was definitely more than ready to go out with him. He seemed fun, intriguing, and I felt like we would have a good time, given the easy flow of our conversation.
Rosie: Yes, tell me when and where and I will be there.
Greg: Damn, Rosie, you just made my day. What do you like to do?
Rosie: Anything, really. Just don’t take me to a movie. I want to be able to talk with you.
Greg: Movies are for making out, and I’m not about to stick my tongue down your throat on the first date, unless it’s a requirement for you. Is it a requirement? I would be happy to oblige.
Rosie: Haha, nice try, but no, it’s not. Sorry.
Greg: A guy’s got to try. How about we go to this place where we get to make our own brick oven pizzas? We go somewhere to pay people so we can do all the work.
Rosie: Sounds intriguing. I’m in.
Greg: Perfect. Listen, I could hang out with you all night on this thing, but I’m currently getting my masters and have some reading to do before my class tomorrow night. Will you forgive me for jumping off of this thing too early?
Rosie: I suppose. Have a good night, Greg, I look forward to Friday.
Greg: Me too, Rosie. Have a good night.
We both signed off and I set my computer to the side as I smiled about my date with Greg. I felt rejuvenated about my dating life after feeling quite low.
Feeling thirsty, I walked back out to the kitchen where I heard Delaney and Derk going at it from their room. I giggled to myself as I heard
a muffled hyena sound come from under her door. Clearly, she was trying to cover the fact that Derk was playing with her toes. What a weird thing, but to each their own.
The front door to our apartment opened quickly and was slammed shut, startling me. I turned to see Henry…angry and on a mission.
He walked right past me, went to the fridge and grabbed a beer. With a quick pop of the top, he started downing the liquid while he gripped onto the counter. He was tense, angry, and frankly, not the Henry I was used to. Plus, he was home early from his date; he was never home early when he went out on a date.
Once he put the bottle down, I stepped closer and asked, “Henry, are you okay?”
His gaze turned on me and said, “No, does it look like I’m okay?” The anger in his voice startled me.
“No, but you don’t have to yell at me,” I defended myself. I hated being the punching bag for someone else’s problems, and I refused to be one for Henry.
“Don’t I, though? Isn’t this all your fault?”
“Excuse me?” I asked, while placing my hands on my hips.
Henry grabbed another beer and downed it in one long gulp.
Wiping his mouth, his eyes bore into mine as he spoke. “Your dating bad luck, it’s transferred over to me. Before you started sharing, I was good, I was perfect actually. I was able to easily get pussy without even trying, but then you came along, and I can’t even get it up.”
“What?”
“You heard me,” he said in a nasty tone. “I’m getting down with Rindy, one of the hottest pieces of ass I’ve seen in a long time, and what happens to me? Visions of you puking all over a guy’s dick run through my mind, making it impossible for me to get it up.”
“Wow,” I said, feeling insulted. “So, because you have a problem controlling your thoughts, you’re going to blame me? You’re an ass, Henry.”
“Come on, like you didn’t tell me all those stories on purpose?” he said, as he walked after me. I was retreating to my bedroom; I didn’t want to deal with his drunk ass. He was clearly intoxicated and not just from the two beers I witnessed him drinking.
“On purpose? I’m sorry, but I thought I was sharing with a friend. You asked me about them. Was I just supposed to tell you nothing? You would never let that happen.”
“Believe me, if I didn’t have to listen to your sad excuse of a dating life, I would be more than happy.”
My heart split in two at the venom coming out of his mouth. I didn’t quite understand why he was being so mean, why he was being so evil to me, but I didn’t like it and I wouldn’t put up with it.
“Then, just leave me alone. I didn’t ask for you to be all up in my ass, so leave me the fuck alone,” I said, letting anger take over me and swear words slip so easily.
“Fine,” he threw his hands up in the air. “Easy, keep your bad luck to yourself.”
“Leave,” I yelled, pushing on Henry’s chest so he would step away, but he grabbed my wrists and pulled me into his chest.
Alcohol riddled his breath as he breathed heavily and looked down at me. His eyes were glazed over and the real Henry was slowly starting to peek through as he matched my stare with his. His features softened as he brushed my face with the pad of his thumb. It was slightly startling how quickly his demeanor changed when I was in his arms.
Pain ran through his voice as he said, “Rosie, you’re beautiful, you know that?”
“Get out of here, Henry,” I said weakly, trying to push him away. “You’re drunk, and you’re being an ass. I don’t want you near me.”
Sighing, he turned his head away from me and mumbled, “Yeah, you never want me. Story of my life.” He pushed me away and walked out my door, confusing me now more than ever.
Chapter Thirteen
The Gargling of Molasses
It was only eleven in the morningand I wanted to claw my eyes out, or at least let Sir Licks-a-Lot do so. After I pushed Henry out of my room last night, I didn’t get one ounce of sleep as I tried to figure out everything he said and why he was being so rude to me. I didn’t think I had done anything wrong, but, clearly, he did.
I was able to get ready this morning, earlier than normal, and slip out of the apartment without interacting with him, which was for the best because I had no clue what I was going to say to him.
Delaney texted me earlier, asking if I was alright, since she heard Henry and I arguing, even over her hyena screaming. I let her know I was fine and Henry was drunk last night, saying things he probably didn’t mean, especially him thinking I was beautiful. That was a drunken slip for sure. I’ve seen the girls he’s taken out, they were far above my level of pretty. I was good looking, but like I’ve said, I’m curvier than others and have my own style that doesn’t come close to rivaling the models Henry takes out.
I hated being sad, especially at work, because most of the time, work was awful with Gladys breathing down my neck, making sure I represented cats in the best way possible and trying to stay as far away from the pussy cat posse as I could, which was quite difficult given the space in our building.
The only thing that made me smile today was the picture of a cat flying in outer space with a pop tart body and a rainbow coming out of its ass that Jenny sent me. It was, by far, the weirdest thing I had ever seen, but it made me laugh. I even printed the picture out and put it on my bulletin board. I was just waiting for Gladys to see Pop-Tart cat and tell me what a bad depiction it was of our feline friends; until then, Pop-Tart cat was staying.
“Hey,” a deep voice that I recognized instantly came from my door.
I looked up to see Henry propped up against my door frame with his hands in his pockets. He was wearing a navy blue suit and a white button up shirt with the top two buttons undone and a pair of brown shoes. He always dressed well for work.
Frankly, I was surprised to see him standing in my office doorframe, not just because of our spat last night, but because he never came to visit me at work for the simple reason that he hated cats, especially Sir Licks-a-Lot, who seemed to have a big crush on Henry and wouldn’t leave him alone whenever he was around.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, looking away from my computer.
“Can we talk?”
“Don’t you have work?”
“Took a long lunch. Please, Rosie?”
I sat back in my chair and crossed my hands over my chest as I said, “Fine, shut the door if you don’t want Sir Licks-a-Lot to find you.”
Henry quickly shut the door and took a seat in the chair across from me. He unbuttoned his suit jacket so he could sit down properly and positioned himself a little forward in his seat as he spoke to me.
“Rosie, I want to apologize for last night. I was way out of line, drunk, and a complete ass to you. I’m really sorry.”
“Yes, you were, Henry. You said some pretty mean things to me.”
He shook his head and looked down at his hands. “I know and I’m sorry. I was in a pissy mood and decided to blame everything on you, when none of it was your fault.”
“So, you don’t blame me for not being able to get it up?”
“No,” he shook his head. “Not at all. That was my problem. Things have been different for me lately.”
“What do you mean? How have things been different?”
Clearing his throat, he shifted in his seat as he adjusted his pant legs.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, Rosie, and…”
Jenny knocked on my door and held up a vase with a box over the top. I waved her in with a questioning look.
“What’s that?” I asked, as she set it on my desk.
“It’s a little delivery that came in for you. Maybe it’s from Atticus.”
“The guy she kicked in the balls?” Henry asked, sounding skeptical.
“Yes, he said he liked her.”
“It’s not from Atticus, Jenny. Believe me, he’s not going to call me again.”
“Then, who is it from?” she asked, pract
ically jumping up and down.
I shrugged and grabbed the box to pull the lid off. Inside was a bouquet of lint rollers. The sight of the set of five lint rollers made me laugh out loud. Nestled inside was a card that I read out loud.
“Just in case you aren’t able to escape the cats so easily next time, Phillip.”
“Oooh, he sounds dreamy.”
“Who the hell is Phillip?” Henry asked, his demeanor completely changing.
“He’s a guy I met in the elevator the other night before my date with Alejandro. He watched me dodge the cats and avoid cat hair central, which I was grateful for, since I didn’t have a lint roller with me.”
“So, he sent you lint rollers, how adorable,” Jenny cooed, while she sat on my desk and started touching the “bouquet.”