Page 4 of Ex-Rating


  Holly walked through the living room to the sunny family room, which opened onto an outdoor patio. Rob was sitting on the rattan couch with his brother, Gabe, who was living at home and taking classes at Geddison College. Rob was tall and athletic, with thick, unruly brown hair that reminded Holly of teddy bear fur. Gabe looked a lot like him, only smaller, less muscular, with black teddy bear fur. On the floor at Gabe’s feet, sleeping and drooling, was the Safrans’ big old St. Bernard dog, Murgatroyd. Across the glass coffee table sat a thin girl with straight, lank brown hair—no teddy bear fur here—and plain, geometric features—circles for eyes, a triangle for a nose, which somehow arranged themselves to make a pretty face. She was knitting something out of lime green wool. Holly had never met her before, but she’d seen pictures: Rob’s older sister, Julia. She lived in Boston, where she’d gone to college. At least, she did until now.

  Rob and Gabe were watching a baseball game on TV. Rob reached for Holly’s hand and tugged her down beside him on the couch. “Hey there,” he said, giving her a kiss.

  “Hey,” she said. She waved at Gabe, who was patting a Nerf football. He tossed it to her. She caught it one-handed.

  Julia looked up from her knitting. “Hey, Blondie. You must be the girl Rob never shuts up about.”

  “She’s lying,” Rob said to Holly. “I never talk about you with my mouth full, or in my sleep. That, I know of. Holly—my sister, Julia Safran.”

  “Soon to be Julia Safran-McAferin,” Julia said. She held out her left hand to flash a big diamond ring Holly’s way. “What do you think?”

  “She just got engaged,” Rob explained. “She moved back to plan the wedding and drive us all insane.”

  “Congratulations,” Holly said.

  “What do you think?” Julia pressed.

  “It’s a little rhymey,” Holly said. “Safran-McAferin. Are you sure you want to hyphenate?”

  “Not that. The ring.”

  “Oh.” Holly leaned forward to be dazzled by the ring. “It’s blindingly beautiful.”

  “I like this girl,” Julia said, dropping her hand. “Rob, she passes.”

  Holly snuggled against Rob’s side. “When’s the wedding?”

  Julia rolled her eyes. “So soon. Six weeks! Michael—that’s my fiancé—wants to take the whole summer for our honeymoon, so we have to get married before Memorial Day.”

  “That’s crazy,” Holly said. “You can’t plan a wedding in a month and a half.”

  “I told you,” Rob said.

  “Luckily she doesn’t have a job,” Gabe said. “Or she’d be really busy.”

  “Shut up, Gabe,” Julia said. “I just graduated from college.”

  “Almost a year ago,” Gabe said.

  “There’s not much demand for psycho-cosmetologists,” Julia said. “It’s brutal out there. Wait until you graduate—you’ll see.”

  “I’ll have it made,” Gabe said. “I’m going to be a cowboy.”

  “Psycho what?” Holly asked.

  “She made it up,” Gabe said. “It’s not even a real job.”

  “But it’s my dream,” Julia said. “I’m going to make it a real job.”

  “She studied psychology,” Rob said. “Her thesis was about the psychology of makeup.”

  “That sounds cool,” Holly said. “I bet makeup has a lot of interesting psychological meaning.”

  “See? She gets it,” Julia said. “Anyway, I don’t have time for a job now. The wedding is a ton of work. We’re having three hundred people.”

  “Wow,” Holly said.

  “Michael has a huge family,” Julia said. She knitted as she talked.

  Holly rubbed Rob’s hand. She and Rob had been together for a few months now. They’d fooled around pretty heavily, but hadn’t quite gone all the way yet. She’d been hoping for a little time alone with him, but he was glued to the game, and Gabe and Julia didn’t seem to be going anywhere. “What are you making?” she asked Julia. She couldn’t imagine what would look good in lime green wool.

  “A hat for Rob,” Julia said. “To spruce him up a little. Don’t you think he’ll look hot in this color?”

  Holly laughed. It would look ridiculous on him. “Better make it big, to cover all his hair.”

  Julia laughed, too. “Don’t worry. I’m making it double the normal size. Like one of those Rasta hats.”

  From the TV came the sound of a bat cracking. Rob and Gabe leaned forward intently. The ball went foul. Both guys went, “Aw,” and fell back into their seats.

  “The Giants suck this year,” Gabe said.

  “So do the A’s,” Julia said. “So, Blondie, what’s your thing?”

  “She’s a sex goddess,” Rob said. “She’s involved in a big scandal.”

  Julia nodded and smiled but didn’t stop knitting. “Impressive. A sex scandal and you’re only—what—sixteen? Tell me all about it.”

  “My friends and I started this blog on the school Web site,” Holly began, and ran through the whole story.

  “They were interviewed on the radio,” Rob said. “And all these tight-assed parents heard it and complained to the principal.”

  “And now he wants to take us off the school site,” Holly said. “We have to remove anything the least bit controversial.”

  “Which is everything,” Rob said.

  “Well, not everything,” Holly said. “Some of it’s pretty tame, actually.”

  “Does Mom know about this?” Julia asked.

  “I didn’t tell her,” Rob said. “And she’s so out of it lately, I figured why upset her.”

  “You don’t think she’d like it?” Holly asked.

  “It’s hard to tell,” Rob said.

  “It’s true—sometimes Mom’s reactions are hard to predict,” Julia said. “Like one time in high school I bought a tube top and she wouldn’t let me wear it. She actually took it from me and used it to polish the silver. But then a week later she found out my boyfriend and I were, you know, parallel parking, and she was totally cool about it.”

  “Nobody says ‘parallel parking’ anymore,” Rob said.

  “Oh, sorry, I don’t know all the high school lingo,” Julia said sarcastically. “What do they say now?”

  Rob shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “Your comments are so helpful,” Julia said.

  “How did she find out?” Holly asked. “Your mother, I mean.”

  “Read my diary. The bitch,” Julia said. “What do your parents think about this big scandal?”

  “They’re not upset at all,” Holly said. “They think it’s funny. Curt said, ‘That’s my girl.’”

  “Tell her what Jen said,” Rob said.

  “Jen said, ‘There’s nothing like a little raciness to put some zip in your reputation.’” Holly imitated Jen’s low, smoky voice.

  “She calls her parents Curt and Jen,” Rob said. “They’re partyers.”

  “Maybe they should hook up with Dad,” Julia said.

  The room went silent for a second. Rob had known his dad was dating all along—he’d told Holly about it early on. But Mrs. Safran had just found out, and the wound was still fresh.

  “Lighten up,” Julia said. “I was just kidding.”

  “It’s true. I think Dad left because Mom’s not fun enough,” Gabe said.

  “Well, who can blame him?” Julia said. “All she does is get headaches and lie around her bedroom.”

  “That’s just lately,” Rob said.

  “All I know is, she’s no help to me,” Julia said. “I thought the wedding would cheer her up, but no, she practically bursts into tears every time I mention it.”

  “Well, it kind of makes sense, if you think about it for one second,” Rob said. “I mean, her marriage just busted up, and you want her to help you plan your wedding?”

  “I’m her only daughter!” Julia said. “She should be in heaven.”

  Rob looked at Holly and shook his head. “My sister. She’s not self-centered at all.”

>   “I’m not,” Julia insisted. “This wedding will bring much needed sunshine and cheer to our broken home. But I can’t do it all by myself. And you two are useless.” She dropped her knitting and looked at Holly. “Blondie, you got here just in time. Want to help me pick out a dress?”

  Holly straightened up. “Sure.” Holly wasn’t a fussy fashion girl, but she couldn’t pass up a chance to ogle bridal gowns.

  Julia stood up and took Holly’s hand. “Come to my room. I’ve got a stack of bridal magazines as tall as Murgatroyd.” She stepped over the sleeping dog. Holly moved to follow her, but Rob grabbed her other hand.

  “Hey,” he complained. “Don’t take my girl away. She was keeping my right side warm.”

  Julia plucked a crocheted afghan off the back of an easy chair and tossed it at him. “Here’s a blanket. Come on, Blondie.”

  They went to Julia’s room on the second floor. Three suitcases lay open with clothes spilling out of them onto the floor. “Sorry about the mess,” Julia said. “I just got in from Boston a few days ago. Clear off a place on the bed and sit down.”

  Holly moved a multicolored tangle of tights and sat on the bed. Julia perched beside her with a Bride’s magazine covered in yellow Post-its.

  “I like the strapless look,” Julia said, turning to a marked page and showing Holly a simple white satin gown. “But my arms are like sticks.”

  “You’re lucky,” Holly said. “I’ve got grandma arms.”

  Julia picked up one of Holly’s arms and stared at it. “You do not. You’re crazy. Look at this.” She rolled up her sleeve and showed Holly her bony arm. “See how the skin hangs loose here? It flaps around like a chicken wing.”

  Holly laughed. “Now you’re crazy. But don’t get strapless if you’re not going to be comfortable in it. Let’s see some of the other dresses.”

  They looked through dozens of magazines, but Julia just couldn’t settle on a dress. Every one of them had something wrong with it, however tiny.

  “I love that,” she said, pointing to a lace slip dress with a blue satin sash. “If only the lace pattern wasn’t so flowery.”

  Holly turned the page. “What about this? It’s just satin, no lace.”

  “Yeah, but I want some lace,” Julia said. “Just not that kind of lace.”

  When Rob knocked on the door a few hours later to announce that the Giants had lost, he found his girlfriend and his sister collapsed on the floor, giggling like morons, and the walls of the room plastered with pictures of dresses. Holly had helped Julia narrow it down from thirty possibilities to eight, which was a major accomplishment.

  “Great,” Rob said. “My sister is spreading her insanity virus to my girlfriend. I’m so glad.”

  “Holly, if you need advice on bossing him around, come to me,” Julia said. “I’m the expert. And I’ve got a lot of dirt on him, for all your blackmailing needs.”

  “Blackmail’s a little harsh,” Holly said. “But I’ll take the bossing tips. My older sister was a master, but I made it too easy for her.” Julia’s sharpness reminded Holly of her older sister, Piper. But Piper had a stronger sense of style, and carried herself with more confidence than Julia, even though Piper was only eighteen.

  “Sure you did.” Rob reached for her hand and helped her off the floor. “Come on, Blondie, I need a little more face time before you have to go home. Can I have my girlfriend back now, Julia?”

  “But we haven’t found my dream dress yet,” Julia said.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be back,” Holly said. In fact, she could hardly wait.

  6

  Is He Blowing You Off?

  To: linaonme

  From: your daily horoscope

  HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: CANCER: Are you in pain? Oh, I’m so sorry. But guess what? You deserve it!

  Walker, why didn’t you show up at Vineland yesterday?”

  Lina found Walker covering a swim meet after school. She was nervous about seeing him. She used to talk to him so easily, but now, suddenly, she felt clammy and tongue-tied around him. She couldn’t stop thinking about him and wondering why he’d blown her off. Ramona recommended coming straight out and asking him. It wasn’t subtle—and Ramona was no love expert. But it was the quickest way to find out.

  Walker glanced up at her and opened his mouth to speak. But then the whistle blew and the 100-meter freestyle started. “Can’t talk now,” Walker said. “Got to watch the race.”

  Lina sighed and sat down beside him on the bleacher. The sprint ended about a minute later. Walker jotted some notes on his pad and said, “Sorry—did you just ask me something?”

  Lina frowned at the side of his face. Was he really going to make her ask again? She’d be mad at him if he hadn’t had such a sweet profile. “Vineland? I waited for you for two hours.”

  “Really?” He didn’t stop writing. “Sorry, I didn’t know. I figured you were going to be with a bunch of friends. I didn’t think you’d miss me.”

  “There was no bunch of friends,” Lina told him. “I’d planned to talk to you alone. About the Dating Game controversy.”

  “Oh, right. I’m sorry, Lina.”

  “I guess it was just a misunderstanding.”

  “Exactly,” Walker said. “It was a misunderstanding.”

  His words had an eerily familiar ring. In fact, she had said something very similar to him not long ago. He’d asked her to a movie, and she’d assumed it was just a group hang, not a date. But apparently she’d misunderstood him, just as he’d misunderstood her yesterday. Coincidence? Lina didn’t think so. She studied him, trying to figure out if he was really saying what he meant. But another race had started, and his attention was on the pool.

  “Well, let me know when you want to get together … and talk about the Dating Game article,” she said, getting to her feet.

  Walker ignored her, concentrating on the race. Or pretending to, anyway. Lina returned to Holly and Mads, who were sitting a few bleachers up in the stands. Ramona had tagged along, too, because she had nothing better to do.

  “What did he say?” Holly asked.

  “He said it was a misunderstanding,” Lina said. “He thought it was supposed to be a group hang.”

  “Weird,” Mads said. “That’s exactly what you said when—”

  “I know,” Lina said. “The question is, was it an honest mistake? Or is he punishing me for standing him up before? Which I didn’t mean to do, by the way.”

  “He’s punishing you,” Ramona said. “The old ‘taste of your own medicine’ deal.”

  “Mads?” Lina asked.

  “He seems too nice to be that mean on purpose,” Mads said. “But it sure feels like déjà vu. I vote punishing.”

  “Holly?”

  “Punishing. But none of us really knows for sure. There’s one way to find out, though.”

  “What?”

  “You could ask him whether he really meant to stand you up,” Mads said.

  “That’s too direct,” Holly said. “And, anyway, he might lie. You’ve got to do something that doesn’t leave room for misunderstandings and misinterpretations. Ask him out on a date. Make it crystal clear that that’s what it is—a date. See what he says.”

  “He’s got to say yes,” Mads said, bouncing in her seat. “I know he will! I think he’s liked you for a long time. He’s probably been waiting for you to ask him out.”

  “Maybe that’s why he stood me up in the first place,” Lina said. “To force me to ask him on a real date.” Her mood brightened. There was hope. He was just playing hard to get!

  “That’s giving him too much credit,” Holly said. “Remember, he’s a guy. They’re not usually that clever when it comes to dating strategy.”

  “You’re right,” Ramona said.

  Lina’s mood deflated again. “I hope he says yes. What will I do if he says no?”

  “At least you’ll know where you stand,” Holly said.

  “We’ll help you forget about him,” Mads said. “
We’re matchmakers, remember?”

  “What if he says yes and then stands you up again?” Ramona said.

  “He couldn’t be that mean,” Lina said. “Could he?”

  “If he is, he’s toast,” Ramona said. “I’ll make it my business to see that he feels major pain.”

  “Ramona!” Lina said.

  “Stop being so dramatic, Ramona,” Holly said. She was impatient with Ramona and her affectations. She didn’t understand why Lina let her hang around.

  “I don’t want anyone feeling pain, no matter what,” Lina said.

  “You will if he hurts you again,” Ramona said. “It’s human nature.”

  “The worst part is not knowing what he’s thinking,” Lina said. “The uncertainty. Was standing me up an honest mistake? Or is he blowing me off?”

  “If you ask him out, you’ll have your answer,” Holly said. “Probably.”

  QUIZ: IS HE BLOWING YOU OFF?

  He says he’s busy—but with what? Is it that he can’t see you, or he doesn’t want to see you? Sometimes the guy of your dreams really has a legit excuse—and sometimes he’s avoiding you. How can you tell the difference? It’s all in the way he handles it. Take this quiz and learn.

  1. You ask him to the movies. He says:

  a he’d love to another time.

  b he’s got to take care of his sick mother that night.

  c movies are against his religion.

  2. He says he’ll see you at a party, then doesn’t show. When you ask him where he was, he says:

  a his car wouldn’t start.

  b he just didn’t feel like going.

  c he was there—where were you?

  3. The big dance is coming. You let him know you don’t have a date yet. He says:

  a he wishes he could take you, but another girl asked him first.

  b too bad for you—only losers go to dances alone.

  c he’d ask you but he’s allergic to whatever detergent it is you wash your clothes with.

  4. A friend fixes you up with a cute guy. At the end of the date, he says:

  a We should do that again soon.

  b I had more fun than I would have if I’d just sat home alone.