In the last two weeks our relationship had gone back to almost what it had been over a year ago. We slept together every night, made love without actually having sex countless times a day. Only this time Wroth told me he loved me. Every day. Every. Day. I still had to pinch myself because it was hard to believe he had actually said those three little words to me. Wroth loved me. I’d be lying if I said I’d never thought he’d loved me. I’d always known that he did. A little at least. It had been his desire for me that I’d always questioned.
I wasn’t a vain person. I looked in the mirror and knew that I was pretty. But when a sexy rocker like Wroth could have any woman he wanted, it made it a little more difficult to see my beauty. Especially when there were little Barbie dolls throwing themselves at him on a daily basis. It was why I’d felt so rejected during our last short-lived relationship when he wouldn’t let me touch him. Why couldn’t I touch what dozens of other women had touched without having to beg for it? Hundreds? Maybe even thousands?
Since the morning Zander had interrupted our love playing, I hadn’t tried to touch Wroth below the waist no matter how hot we got, and I sure as hell hadn’t begged him to let me. I didn’t think I could stand his rejection this time around if he told me no or pulled away if I touched him.
“Dance with us,” Harper shouted as she grabbed my hand, surprising me out of my Wroth-filled musings, and pulled me in between herself and Dallas.
“Someone record this shit,” Dallas called, rubbing herself very sexily up and down my back, making me giggle. “Axton is gonna have some serious footage to get him going tonight with these hotties sexing it up in here.”
Natalie and Jenna were throwing popcorn at us instead of the screen now. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I tried to go for sexy as I rubbed myself between the two beautiful women as the three of us swayed to the music. From the corner of my eyes I saw Lana recording our little show and felt my cheeks fill with pink, but didn’t stop. I would send this to Wroth as soon as I could and then Axton wouldn’t be the only one who had some footage to view later.
The thought of Wroth watching me dance with two incredibly beautiful women made me more daring. We were all friends here and it was just harmless fun. I grabbed Harper’s hand and started sucking on her fingers, remembering his reaction to the way Dallas had done much the same thing to my own fingers so long ago. Harper made a sexy moaning sound, grinning and winking at me as I gazed up at her through my lashes.
“Damn, now that is sexy,” Lana murmured from her seat on the couch. “Seriously, Marissa. You’re turning me bisexual right now.” She lowered her phone, shaking her head at me. “Do you think Wroth would have too big a fit if I asked you to have a threesome with me and Drake?”
From the glint in her honey-brown eyes and the grin on her face I knew she was teasing—Lana letting someone that close to Drake? Yeah, that wasn’t ever going to happen. But the offer alone was enough to cause my face to turn beet red. “I’m pretty sure he would castrate your husband, Lana.” Wroth had gotten very territorial in the last two weeks. Sure he was more affectionate, but his possessiveness was downright animalistic at times. Men couldn’t smile at me without him turning into a rage monster.
If I said I didn’t like it, it would be telling the lie of the century. I loved it. But it made me fear for the safety of the men in my life. Every man with the exception of my brother was a potential target.
A firm knock on the bus’s door had us all turning as the door opened just seconds later, without anyone giving permission to whomever it was to come in. Devlin stepped into the living room, his hair pulled back into a ponytail at the base of his neck. He didn’t give anyone a second glance as he narrowed his eyes on Natalie and went straight for her. She didn’t say a word as he stopped in front of her. Harper and Lana gaped at him as he bent and picked Natalie up before carrying her back toward the roosts.
“That was ballsy,” Jenna muttered as she threw a handful of popcorn at the rock star’s back.
“Do I want to know?” Lana asked the youngest girl in the room.
“Nope.” Jenna shook her head, her face impassive, letting everyone know that she wasn’t about to spill her sister’s secrets. “Pretend you didn’t see that, Lana. It will make your life a hell of a lot easier.”
“But…” Harper glanced from where Natalie had just been sitting, then down the hall to where the warped door of the sleeping area was now firmly closed behind the couple. “She… No… Right..?” She looked so confused and conflicted that it was almost adorable.
“Like I said, pretend you didn’t see that. Drake and Shane really don’t need to know right now.” Jenna stood. “I’m going to head back to our bus. If Dev is back then the others will be soon. Shane doesn’t need to be in the vicinity of this place in a few minutes.”
When a moan came from the back of the bus, Harper was quick to follow the younger girl out. “Yeah, you’re right. I don’t need him hulking out tonight. Lana, you coming?”
“Yeah, yeah.” She tried to get up but her stomach was a big obstacle. She looked up at me with a pout. “Help a bitch out, Marissa.”
Laughing, I offered her both my hands and helped her to stand. “See you later.” I returned her hug and walked with her to the door as the three left. “Message me that video when you get the chance.”
Lana winked up at me from the bottom of the steps. “You got it, sexy.”
When I turned around, it was to find Dallas had taken Lana’s spot on the couch. Her gaze was on the hallway that led to the roosts. “Something’s up with Natalie. Have you noticed how she’s been acting lately? And it hasn’t just been in the last few weeks since this tour started. Linc has hinted that her entire personality has been off for a while now.” She shifted on the couch and I sat down beside her. Her concerned blue eyes looked questioningly over at me. “Have you noticed anything off?”
I grimaced. “Yes and no. I had noticed that she was quieter before the tour started, before she cut her hair. She doesn’t go out with Linc like she used to, and she has seemed kind of tired lately. But…” I sighed and pushed my hair out of my face. “But I hadn’t really thought about it, Dallas. I was so caught up in my own crap that I didn’t pay any attention to what was going on with Natalie at the time.”
She grasped my hands, giving them a reassuring squeeze. “Of course you were. Things didn’t end pretty with Wroth last spring any more than they had with Dev and Nat. No one could blame you for not paying attention to what was going on with her. How are you, by the way? From an outside point of view you and Wroth seem to be closer than ever.”
“I guess we are.” I bit my lip, something that had become a very bad habit lately. Just the evening before, Liam had scolded me for pulling a Kristen Stewart because I was always biting my bottom lip. “Wroth told me he loves me.”
One blond brow rose, but she didn’t look particularly surprised. “Yeah, I’ve heard him say it a few times myself. He always has loved you, Rissa. He was just a pussy last spring. I never for one second believed that he meant for you to get hurt. But the real question should be, do you believe it? Do you forgive him for what he did? Do you still love him? Because even though I’ve heard that big scary piece of delicious man candy whispering that he loves you, I’ve yet to hear you return the sentiment.”
I looked away. It was true. I hadn’t returned the words. Hadn’t even tried to utter them. I might have forgiven his slip up, his cheating, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him I loved him. Something was continuing to hold the words back. I’d given up on my side of the bet I’d made with Natalie. Had told her just the day before that I was backing out of our bet and that as soon as we got home all she had to do was tell me when she wanted to start her vacation and I would happily fulfil my side of the wager. But maybe, even though I had given up on revenge, part of me still wanted to hurt him. By not telling Wroth I loved him, I was withholding something that I could tell he was desperate to hear, to be assured of my love for him.
And. I. Just. Couldn’t.
Forgiving something so destructive to a relationship such as cheating was one thing. Forgetting was something entirely different. And I was still haunted by it. The memory of seeing Wroth with some skank on her knees in front of him flashed through my mind at least once a day and each time I was left feeling shattered all over again. When that happened, I always needed to get away, to hide from everyone while I got myself back together. To fight the sudden need to erase those pictures from my mind at all costs.
Rhett was watching me closer and closer every day and I knew it was because he was scared that I was going to do something to hurt myself. But I wasn’t going to do that. I’d already promised myself that no matter how depressed I got, hurting myself wasn’t the answer. That didn’t make Rhett feel any better and I could see his inner struggle to keep my secret to himself as his concern for my wellbeing grew.
“Rissa?”
Dallas’s soft voice pulled me out of my deep thoughts and I realized I hadn’t answered her yet. “I do love him, Dallas. I just… I can’t seem to say the words. Every time he tells me that he loves me and I don’t say the words back, I can see the pain in his eyes. It kills me to see it, but I still can’t say the words out loud.”
“You’re still scared he’s going to cheat again.” I shrugged and Dallas nodded empathetically. “I can see where you’re coming from, sweetie. Thinking that the man who basically owns your soul is just one step away from crushing your heart into a pile of dust is something that I’ve got some experience with. I thought that Axton cheated on me when we first got together…” She grimaced. “I know now that he didn’t cheat, but the evidence was damning. And—”
I held up my hands, stopping her before she could say another word. “Wait. You keep talking like Wroth didn’t really cheat. That it just appeared to have happened. Dallas, I saw him with that girl! I saw her on her knees right in front of him with his… And he…” I broke off, unable to say the words without completely breaking down. “He cheated, Dallas.”
She gave me an unconvinced look. “You think so? You’re so sure of that? He actually told you that it happened?” She shook her blond head. “Marissa, I was there during that tour. I saw how Wroth Niall was with you before everything even started. When we were at the farm, that man would go out of his way to make sure nothing hurt you. Nothing. The man even bent over backwards to try and keep everyone around you from using bad language because he knew it embarrassed you and he wanted us to respect you. He would sit and just watch cheesy old shows with you when I could tell he was bored out of his ever loving mind. But he did it all to make you happy.
“What you saw that night? I don’t know what it was exactly, but I can tell you this much. Wroth would have probably killed himself before he did something that he knew would hurt you. He worships you, he always has.” Dallas stood, giving me a small, grim smile. “Talk to the man, Marissa. Get his side of the story before you continue to make him pay for something he might be completely innocent of.”
I couldn’t speak as she turned and left the bus. Tears burned my eyes and clogged my throat. My heart was beating hard and my hands were suddenly damp. Could she be right? Had Wroth really not cheated?
Chapter 14
Wroth
I woke with Marissa in my arms. Her head was tucked under my chin, one arm wrapped over my waist and one knee tucked between my legs. It was the perfect way to wake up every morning. With a contented sigh I pressed a kiss to the top of her head and tried to stretch as much as possible without waking her. I was tired after the last three days of concerts.
There had been no break during the days since we’d had morning interviews at six fucking o’clock for local radio stations, followed by all-day events that drained me more than being under the hot lights on stage performing for more than an hour. Then as soon as one show was finished it was back on the road and starting the whole thing all over again in the next city. And during the last three days, I’d barely seen Marissa for five minutes during the day.
If I hadn’t had her to fall asleep with every night, I probably would have gone insane by now.
Marissa sighed in her sleep and cuddled closer against me, her lips brushing over my chest as she kissed me in her sleep. “Mm.”
I tightened my hold on her, afraid she would move away in her sleep if I didn’t.
From the roost across from ours I heard a soft moan and realized that I wasn’t the only one awake. It was all too obvious that Devlin and Natalie were wide awake in Devlin’s roost at the moment. When Natalie moaned a little louder followed by Devlin’s curse, Marissa’s eyes opened and her face twisted in grimace. “Again? Didn’t we fall asleep to them last night?” she muttered sleepily.
I leaned down to kiss her lips. “Yup.” But the sounds those two had been making had gotten us both worked up and I’d taken my time getting my girl to heaven before we’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms to the sounds of the other couple still going at it. Devlin and I both seriously needed to look into getting our own buses, and soon. I reached for Marissa’s hand and brought it to my lips, kissing her fingertips one by one. “What do you say we give them a run for their money in a nosiest love-making contest?” I suggested.
Pink filled her cheeks but she grinned up at me. “I like that idea,” she murmured so softly it was like a caress down my spine.
With a happy growl, I pulled her over me and kissed her long and deep. Marissa was still naked from where I’d undressed us both the night before and the feel of her hot, soaking wet pussy brushing over my throbbing cock was enough to force a groan from me. I gripped her ass and spread her thighs wider so that the head of my cock would fit perfectly against her clit. She ground her hips down against me, making me see bright spots behind my closed lids from the sheer pleasure of her heat grinding on my agonizing flesh.
When I thrust the tips of two fingers into her opening from behind, she broke our hungry kiss to let a wanton little moan escape. She felt so good, so tight and wet and scalding hot. I wanted to sink my dick deep inside of her until we were completely one, but I’d somehow kept sane enough over the last several weeks to keep from taking her virginity. It was killing me, but I would suffer the fires of hell if I had to. I wasn’t taking Marissa’s virginity until my ring was on her finger and she was Mrs. Wroth Niall.
It might seem archaic, and if the tabloid trash mags ever got hold of that little bit of information they would have a field day. But I was an old-fashioned kind of guy. I loved this girl with everything inside of me and was going to make sure that we did this the right way, just like my mother would have wanted me to do if she had still been alive. Marissa was so innocent and pure and she deserved to still be that way on her wedding day.
Of course I still had to ask her. I hadn’t yet because I had special plans for asking her something so fucking important. It was what I’d asked Emmie to help me with and our stop in Kansas was just the next day. I was excited to ask her to spend the rest of her life with me, and at the same time I was terrified. I was scared out of my mind that she was going to turn me down.
In the last few weeks, I’d told my girl that I loved her whenever the words would whisper through my conscious. Which was a lot. But there hadn’t been one time when she had repeated them. I was okay with that, at least I kept telling myself I was okay with it. The pain that would slice through me with the absence of her words of love was like a chainsaw slicing me in half.
I couldn’t understand why she never told me she loved me when I could see what she felt for me shining back at me in her eyes every time I looked at her. Even now, as she moaned my name and dripped her release on my quivering dick I could see how much she loved me. “Wroth!”
“That’s it, sweetheart. Come for me,” I encouraged as I gripped her ass cheeks harder, grinding her pussy against me until she convulsed with her orgasm.
With a loud cry she fell against my chest, her breaths coming in hard pants as she slowly ca
me down from the high of her release. When she lifted her head and smiled at me I turned us onto our sides. My dick was still rock hard and my balls were tight, ready to spill my own release. “Touch me, Mari,” I commanded.
The smile on her face dimmed and she pulled her hand back when I reached for it. I grimaced, knowing that she was remembering all those times I’d refused to let her touch me last spring. I hadn’t realized at the time how much damage I’d been doing to her pride. She hadn’t made the same pleas to touch me in the last few weeks, had never touched me below my navel during our love play sessions. If she had, I would have gladly let her take her time exploring every inch of my body if that was what she wanted to do to me. She hadn’t though, and I hadn’t let myself think about it much, but I could see now that my refusing to let her touch me then was affecting us now.
I caught her hand and lifted it to my mouth once again. I trapped and held her gaze as I kissed her open palm. “I love you, sweetheart.” I watched the muscles work in her throat as she swallowed hard and tried to hide my pain when she didn’t so much as open her mouth. “Listen to me for a minute, Mari. Okay?” After only a small hesitation she nodded. “Before…back then? I couldn’t let you touch me. I wanted you so badly that if I let you touch me I wouldn’t have been able to contain myself. I wouldn’t have been able to keep from sinking deep into your beautiful body and making love to you like I wanted to so badly back then—like I want to do right now. I still have trouble controlling my need to be inside of you, sweetheart.”
Tears filled her eyes and she lowered her gaze to my chest. “Why won’t you? I want you to make love to me like that, Wroth. I need you to make love to me like that.”
“Because I want your husband to take your virginity,” I muttered. “He’s the only one who should ever take that from you. Do you understand?”