Pain knifed through her. “You two asked me to come here. You people, you changed my brother without his permission and then you killed him! This piece of shit insults my dead brother and all humans and I’m the one who has to apologize? What the fuck is wrong with this picture?”
“You can’t win, damn it!” he hissed and grabbed her hands. “He is bigger and stronger and faster and he doesn’t care about you. You can’t beat him. Trust me to take care of this later but for now, please, apologize.”
“Fuck you, Lex Warden. Fuck you and your stupid rules and this messed up assbackwards society where I’m a second-class citizen. Do you think I wanted any of this? I just wanted my damned shop and a bit of peace and you werewolves have stolen everything from me.” She stepped back from him and looked at Cade and then the rest of the room. “I’d rather die than live without honor.”
No sooner had the words come out of her mouth than Carter was on her, knocking her to the ground.
Her head hit the hardwood floor and she knew she was in big trouble. Still, she wasn’t giving in without taking him down as far as she could. Carter was soft, she felt it in his hands and saw it in his walk.
His fist cocked and she rolled to the side and kicked back, hitting the back of his thigh, knocking him off and down.
“You bitch!” he screamed and his voice became a low growl.
“No! You can’t! She’s not a wolf,” Lex yelled. Four men were holding him back so he couldn’t interfere with the fight—one of them was Cade.
Nina looked back toward Carter just in time for a sharp-clawed paw to strike her across her jaw, causing her to see stars. The metallic tang of blood exploded in her mouth and she spat it out, knowing from experience that if she swallowed it, she’d only get sick.
She got in a solid right hook and a heel to his balls and was able to stand. Blood dripped into her eye and she prayed she’d cut her head when she fell earlier. If he’d sliced her open with his nails, the chances of her getting the virus from him were higher.
Her ears rang from the next several strikes he made. Her left arm hung loosely at her side, broken. She could hear Lex screaming and howling. Others in the room were begging Carter to stop.
Carter punched her again until she finally went down. Just as quickly, he was on her and she felt his teeth pierce her neck. The shock of it gave her enough adrenaline to poke him hard in the eyes with her fingers and he backed off.
She broke free and he reached out and struck her and she flew back into Megan, who looked into her face, the helplessness and sorrow there was evident. Something caught Nina’s eye as she fell to her knees.
Without thinking, Nina reached out and grabbed Megan’s sidearm in her right hand and turned. With her good eye she sighted down her arm and pointed at Carter’s head. The room got eerily silent for a moment.
“Shoot him!” Lex screamed, breaking the quiet. Choruses of “shoot him” broke out from the entire room.
“Should I shoot you, Carter? Maybe you should apologize to me. But I’ll settle for you calling this fucked-up charade off. Now that I’m a wolf like you, I have status.”
“Not yet, you don’t,” the half-wolf Carter growled out and lunged at her. Nina squeezed the trigger over and over until the chamber was empty and Carter was a heap on the floor.
“Who’s sorry now?” she whispered and collapsed as chaos filled the room. The last thing she saw was Lex’s anguished face as he picked her up.
Chapter Six
Nina’s eyes fluttered open. It was her bedroom, only different. The room was alive with detail. So much that she felt a bit overwhelmed with it all. Her heart pounded as she raised her head to look around.
“Nina! Oh thank god. You’re awake.”
She looked up into Lex’s concerned face. “What the...? What happened?”
He put a covered cup with a straw in Nina’s hands. “Here, drink this. I’m going to run into the hall and call the doctor. I’ll be right back.” Before she could question him again he dashed out.
Putting the straw in her mouth, she gagged as the taste hit her and set the cup down on the bedside table.
Lex yelled, “She’s conscious!” As he came back into the room, Nina heard the echo of pounding feet running up the stairs.
He gave her an annoyed look when he came back in and sat next to her on the bed. “Why aren’t you drinking that?” he barked sharply at her, putting the cup back into her hands.
She snorted. “Why don’t you fuck off?”
“Ah, I see our girl is herself again,” Cade said as he entered the room. Nina felt a rush of relief come from him. Relief and affection.
A tall, dark-haired woman came in and closed the door behind herself.
“Okay, is someone going to tell me what the hell is going on or what?” Nina repeated, losing patience.
“Didn’t I just tell you to drink that?” Lex asked again.
“Didn’t I just tell you to fuck off? This stuff tastes like ass. I’m not drinking it.” She shoved the cup back at him but he refused to take it, his mouth set in a hard line.
“It’s nasty, but really high in protein. You’ll need it to help your body adjust.” The woman smiled. “I’m Dr. Molinari. Welcome to Cascadia, Nina.” She placed a satchel on the bed, pulled out a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff from it and moved to Nina’s side, shooing Lex out of the way.
“Adjust? Doctor? If someone doesn’t start explaining, I’m gonna get huffy.”
“Yes, and god knows that would be a change,” Lex said dryly from a safe distance. At the same time, Nina could feel the cool metal of his terror, only just barely gone.
“What do you remember?” Dr. Molinari asked as she took Nina’s pulse.
“Uh, oh... I was jumped at the Pack house. I s-shot him. Jesus, I shot someone.” The unreality of the events in that living room rushed back through her. The horror.
Cade moved to her side and tipped her chin up. “You had no choice.”
“Did I kill him?” Nina whispered. Yes, she’d done it in self-defense, but she didn’t want to be a killer.
“No. But close. You emptied the clip but it was lead ammo and not silver. Carter was high in the Pack, he’s strong and has a great ability to heal.”
“Does that mean he’ll attack me again?”
“You won the challenge. Even though the challenge is to the death, he was so close that the governance council deemed it your victory.” Cade smiled.
Rage flooded through her. “Oh, goody. Now that he’s attacked me and made me into one of you while not a single fucking one of you did a thing to stop a werewolf from attacking a human—I’m victorious. Lucky me.”
“I couldn’t stop it, Nina,” Cade’s voice was filled with anguish. “As Alpha, I had to let the challenge go forward. You offended him. He had a rightful challenge. You could have apologized.”
Nina sat up then and Lex moved forward to push her back to the pillows and she shoved at his hands. The doctor tried to move Cade and Lex away.
“I could have apologized?” Nina shook her head. “It’s my fault?”
“Nina, baby, Carter has been disciplined for biting you. We have rules about that. He’s been stripped of his power and moved to the bottom of the Pack. Now that you’re a wolf, you share my status as Second,” Lex said softly.
“Oh you’re all so civilized!” Nina said sarcastically. “You can attack a human in your living room as long as you kill her without biting her. With her husband standing three feet away!”
“You’re upsetting her. It’s hard enough on her wolf to have to heal this sort of damage to her system,” Dr. Molinari told Cade and Lex with a frown.
“It’s over now, Nina. You defeated him and you did it as a human. The rest of the Pack sees that as a mark of great power and they respect you fo
r it.”
She looked at Lex in disbelief. “Are you actually proud of that? Are you proud that I had to empty a gun into someone in your living room all over that twenty-thousand-dollar Oriental rug?”
“I’m proud that you were so strong—that you never gave up. Even standing there, your arm broken in three places, a gash on your head pouring blood, your throat nearly torn out—even then you fought back. Yes, I’m proud that my mate is so strong. More than that, I’m glad you’re all right and safe.” He knelt next to the bed.
“I need to be alone, please.” Her voice was flat as she said it.
“You can nap. I’ll just hold you,” Lex said, touching her hand before she took it from him.
“Alone. As in, me only. I don’t want to see another fucking werewolf.” She looked straight ahead, not meeting anyone’s eye.
“Nina, you’re going to have to go through a change. You can’t do it alone. The first time is very difficult,” Dr. Molinari said soothingly.
“When?”
“Usually the first change comes at the full moon. After that you’ll be able to change at will.”
“The next full moon is?”
“In a week.”
“Fine. Now all of you get the fuck out.”
“Nina, why?” Cade asked softly, feeling both her and Lex’s agony.
“Why what, Cade?” Nina turned to face him.
“Why are you sending us away?”
“You weren’t there when I needed you. As in to live! You stood there while someone tried to kill me. I’m supposed to just take that with a smile?”
“Lex had to be restrained by nearly my entire guard! He almost risked Shunning to save you, Nina,” Cade said, his voice hardening.
“Almost didn’t save my life, Mr. Warden. In the end, all I have is myself. For a brief time, I allowed myself to think differently. Some lessons are apparently best learned the hard way.”
“You allowed yourself to think differently? Mr. Warden? What the hell is wrong with you? What do you want, Nina? Blood?” Lex yelled.
Nina winced as his guilt, anger and fear rushed through their connection. “No. That’s how you do it. All I want is for you to get out of my sight.”
“Don’t do this, Nina.” Cade used his Alpha mojo on her and she felt herself begin to respond.
She gave an anguished cry and shot up out of bed.
“You need to lie down, Nina. I know you’re upset but your system was just under attack from the virus and then your wolf healed all of that damage,” Dr. Molinari said, reaching out to touch her.
“Nina!” Cade yelled so loud that the pressure of it knocked her to her knees.
She crawled toward the door and Lex picked her up and put her back in the bed. “Cade! Stop it,” Lex said urgently.
“You can’t keep me here.” Nina huddled into a ball.
“The hell we can’t! You’re one of my wolves now, Nina. Mine to protect. You’re not safe out there,” Cade stated through clenched teeth.
“No, I’m not safe here. Nothing about you people is safe,” she mumbled.
Dr. Molinari touched Nina’s arm and then a sharp pain hit as the needle slid into her flesh and the heat of the sedative coursed through her.
“I can’t believe you just did that,” Nina slurred as her eyes slid up into the back of her head and she lost consciousness.
* * *
“Jesus, I can’t believe how fucked up that was,” Lex said, pushing a hand through his hair as he paced the hall outside their bedroom.
“She’ll get over it.” Cade slid down the wall and sat on the floor. Tracy put a mug of coffee into his hand and gave one to Lex as well.
“You have to let her deal with all of this, Lex. She’s human. Or she was. She doesn’t have a frame of reference for anything that’s happened. She was changed, attacked, she doesn’t feel safe. She expected you and Cade to protect her.” Tracy held up a hand to stop them from arguing. “No, I’m not blaming you. I saw that it took four men to hold Lex back. I saw your palms bleeding where your nails pierced the skin, Cade. I know you did what you had to as Alpha. But she doesn’t know that. She has no way of knowing. She’ll see it. You just have to give her time.”
Lex took his sister’s hand and squeezed it. “Smart wolf.” His anguish was clear in his voice.
“I’ll help however I can. For what it’s worth, Lex, she wouldn’t be so upset if she didn’t love you so much.” Tracy cocked her head at her brother.
“There’s more than just this,” Cade said. “There’s a lot of layers to that woman in there.”
“It has to hinge on the past she’s so stingy with. I’ve had my investigators on it for a month now. I think they should be able to come up with something soon. One way or another, Nina is going to share her past with me if it’s the last thing I do.”
“Lex, let her tell you. This whole situation is so tenuous, if you push her any further she’s going to break,” Tracy said gently.
“What about me?” Lex stood up with a yell. “Huh? You think I wanted this? You think I wanted a human mate who I fight with more than I make love to? She’s a goddamned pain in the ass.”
“Well, you know there are supposedly ways to undo the mate bond. Rumor of course, but I’m betting Grandma knows if they’re true or not,” Tracy said nonchalantly as she watched Lex.
“What? You think I’d dump her because she’s difficult? I love that woman in there. I can’t believe you’d try to get me to undo our bond.”
Tracy rolled her eyes at him and Cade barked out a tired laugh.
“What are you laughing for?” Lex’s face was angry until he got it. “Oh. Yeah. Okay, I got it, smarty-pants. But she should tell me. I shouldn’t have to beg her to share her life with me.”
“Lex, why are you so thick? She’s obviously this way for a reason and the reason can’t be very nice. We know that she and Rey were orphans and that she essentially raised him alone. Rey didn’t share much more than that but from what I gathered, it wasn’t pretty but she never let him down. She’s got a spine of steel for a reason. You’re both the most stubborn people I’ve ever met. You’re made for each other and you know it and that’s why you’re both so prickly about it.” With a smirk, Tracy grabbed the now empty mugs and went downstairs where other family members waited.
* * *
It was dark when Nina awoke from her drugged sleep. She knew immediately that Lex was in the room, sleeping next to her in their bed. She lay there for a long time thinking about the whole situation, not knowing what to do.
She loved Lex Warden and there was no denying the connection between them. At the same time, she couldn’t get around the terror and betrayal she’d experienced as Cade stood there doing nothing. Yes Lex had to be restrained but he had a gun, she knew that. Why hadn’t he just shot Carter? She’d have done it for him. Hell, she’d had to do it for herself and that’s what burned deep in her gut.
She’d been forced to put herself and her life in the hands of these two men. It hadn’t been easy but she’d done it. When she’d entered the Pack house that night, she hadn’t thought for a moment that she’d be unsafe. No, she’d felt the deep comfort of belonging. The ease of partnership instead of the pressure to be in charge—not always having to guard and protect. Those few hours had been perfect and the comparison between then and what she felt as she stood there while they all watched someone try to kill her sliced through her heart and left her in tatters.
And she had no idea what to do about it.
“How are you feeling?” Lex asked quietly, not moving from her side. He somehow knew she was awake.
“Like a werewolf tried to kill me.”
“Nina, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you. Sorry you lost faith in me—in us.”
“I don’t know what to sa
y, Lex. They’re nice words and I’m sure you actually mean them. But this is just one more in a long line of fuckups in my life and I’m so tired.”
“Please tell me. Help me understand, Nina. I swear to you I’ll do the same. We can’t go on this way. We need to try and know each other if we are going to make this work. And I want to. I love you.”
She thought about it. Could she do it? Could she expose herself and tell him her story after what had happened? Could she trust him? Because if she didn’t open up, she wasn’t sure they’d make it. But he was Mr. Law and Order, what if he was repulsed by what she told him? What if he couldn’t accept her past?
She’d held on to her secrets for a very long time, never letting anyone in. She wasn’t sure she’d even lived really. She had a house and her shop but never really any true interaction—intimacy—with anyone. When you opened up, you took risks that what you shared could be used to hurt you. And that terrified her. But losing Lex terrified her more.
Reaching down, she opened the door she’d kept barricaded for so long. “About three weeks after my twelfth birthday my parents went off on a trip. It was just for three days. My daddy was going to bring me back saltwater taffy from the shore.
“Gabriel and I were playing in the yard of some family friends and the police came. They told us that my parents had been killed in a fire at the hotel. A lot of stuff happened, I don’t remember all of it but eventually they put us with a distant cousin of my mother’s. But they hated us. They just liked the money.
“And Gabriel was...he didn’t know how to deal with our parents being gone. He’d been such a sweet child but he got in with the wrong crowd and got in trouble. A lot. Before long they’d kicked us out.”
Nina relayed the story in a quiet voice. Lex reached out slowly and took her hand, relaxing when she didn’t pull away.
“What did you do?”
“They wanted to put us in foster care but they couldn’t guarantee that we’d stay together and even at just ten, Gabriel was already on track for trouble. I couldn’t take the chance of being separated from him. So we ran. I was nearly fifteen and I worked odd jobs and we lived here and there, ducking the social workers and the system. I became an expert at lying to get what we needed.