CHAPTER XXII. HOW PRIDE MEETS PRIDE
Kate Henderson sat alone in her room reading a letter from her father,her thoughtful brow a shade more serious perhaps than its wont, and attimes a faint, half-sickly smile moving her dimpled cheek. The interestsof our story have no concern with that letter, save passingly, nor dowe regret it. Enough, if we say it was in reply to one of her own,requesting permission to return home, until, as she phrased it, shecould "obtain another service." That the request had met scant favor waseasy to see, as, folding up the letter, she laid it down beside her witha sigh and a muttered "I thought as much!--'So long as her Ladyshipis pleased to accept of your services,'" said she, repeating aloud anexpression of the writer. "Well, I suppose he's right; such is the truereading of the compact, as it is of every compact where there is wealthon one side, dependence on the other! Nor should I complain," saidshe, still more resolutely, "if these same services could be renderedtoilfully, but costing nothing of self-sacrifice in honorable feeling. Icould be a drudge--a slave--to-morrow; I could stoop to any labor; but Icannot--no, I cannot--descend to companionship! They who hire us," criedshe, rising, and pacing the room in slow and measured tread, "have aright to our capacity. We are here to do their bidding; but they canlay no claim to that over which we ourselves have no control--oursympathies, our affections--we cannot sell these; we cannot always givethem, even as a gift." She paused, and opening the letter, read it forsome seconds, and then flinging it down with a haughty gesture, said,"'Nothing menial--nothing to complain of in my station!' Can he not seethat there is no such servitude as that which drags out existence, bysubjecting, not head and hands, but heart and soul, to the dictates ofanother? The menial--the menial has the best of it. Some stipulate thatthey are not to wear a livery; but what livery exacts such degradationas this?" And she shook the rich folds of her heavy silk dress as shespoke. The tears rose up and dimmed her eyes, but they were tears ofoffended pride, and as they stole slowly along her cheeks, her featuresacquired an expression of intense haughtiness. "They who train theirchildren to this career are but sorry calculators!--educating them butto feel the bitter smart of their station, to see more clearly the widegulf that separates them from what they live amongst!" said she, in avoice of deep emotion.
"Her Ladyship, Miss Henderson," said a servant, throwing wide the door,and closing it after the entrance of Lady Dorothea, who swept intothe room in her haughtiest of moods, and seated herself with all thatpreparation that betokened a visit of importance.
"Take a seat, Miss Henderson," said she. And Kate obeyed in silence."If in the course of what I shall have to say to you," resumed herLadyship,--"if in what I shall feel it my _duty_ to say to you, I maybe betrayed into any expression stronger than in a calmer moment wouldoccur to me,--stronger in fact, than strict justice might warrant--"
"I beg your Ladyship's pardon if I interrupt, but I would beg toremark--"
"What?" said Lady Dorothea, proudly.
"That simply your Ladyship's present caution is the best security forfuture propriety. I ask no other."
"You presume too far, young lady. I cannot answer that _my_ temper maynot reveal sentiments that my judgment or my breeding might prefer tokeep in abeyance."
"If the sentiments be there, my Lady, I should certainly say, better toavow them," said Kate, with an air of most impassive coldness.
"I 'm not aware that I have asked your advice on that head, MissHenderson," said she, almost insolently. "At the same time, your habitsof late in this family may have suggested the delusion."
"Will your Ladyship pardon me if I confess I do not understand you?"
"You shall have little to complain of on that score, Miss Henderson;I shall not speak in riddles, depend upon it. Nor should that be anobstacle if your intelligence were only the equal of your ambition."
"Now, indeed, is your Ladyship completely beyond me."
"Had you felt that I was as much 'above' you, Miss Henderson, it weremore to the purpose."
"I sincerely hope that I have never forgotten all the deference I oweyour Ladyship," said Kate. Nor could humble words have taken a morehumble accent; and yet they availed little to conciliate her to whomthey were addressed; nay, this very humility seemed to irritate andprovoke her to a greater show of temper, as with an insolent laugh shesaid,--"This mockery of respect never imposed on we, young lady. I havebeen bred and born in a rank where real deference is so invariable thatthe fictitious article is soon detected, had there been any hardy enoughto attempt it."
Kate made no other answer to this speech than a deep inclination of herhead. It might mean assent, submission, anything.
"You may remember, Miss Henderson," said her Ladyship, with all theformality of a charge in her manner,--"you may remember that on the dayI engaged your services you were obliging enough to furnish me with abrief summary of your acquirements." She paused, as if expecting someintimation of assent, and after an interval of a few seconds, Katesmiled, and said,--"It must have been a very meagre catalogue, my Lady."
"Quite the reverse. It was a perfect marvel to me how you everfound time to store your mind with such varied information; and yet,notwithstanding that imposing array of accomplishments, I now find thatyour modesty--perhaps out of deference to my ignorance--withheld fullyas many more."
Kate's look of bewilderment at this speech was the only reply she made.
"Oh, of course you do not understand me," said Lady Dorothea,sneeringly; "but I mean to be most explicit. Have you any recollectionof the circumstance I allude to?"
"I remember perfectly the day, madam, I waited on you for the firsttime."
"That's exactly what I mean. Now, pray, has any portion of our discoursedwelt upon your mind?"
"Yes, my Lady; a remark of your Ladyship's made a considerableimpression upon me at the moment, and has continued frequently to riseto my recollection since that."
"May I ask what it was?"
"It was with reference to the treatment I had been so long accustomedto in the family of the Duchesse de Luygnes, and which your Ladyshipcharacterized by an epithet I have never forgotten. At the time Ithought it severe; I have learned to see it just. You called it an'irreparable mischief.' Your Ladyship said most truly."
"I was never more convinced of the fact than at this very moment," saidLady Dorothea, as a flush of anger covered her cheek. "The ill-judgingcondescension of your first protectors has left a very troublesomelegacy for their successors. Your youth and inexperience--I do notdesire to attribute it to anything more reprehensible--led you,probably, into an error regarding the privileges you thus enjoyed, andyou fancied that you owed to your own claims what you were entirelyindebted to from the favor of others."
"I have no doubt that the observation of your Ladyship is quitecorrect," said Kate, calmly.
"I sincerely wish that the conviction had impressed itself upon yourconduct then," said Lady Dorothea, whose temper was never so outragedas by the other's self-possession. "Had such been the case, I might havespared myself the unpleasantness of my present task." Her passionwas now fully roused, and with redoubled energy she continued:"Your ambition has taken a high flight, young lady, and, from thecondescension by which I accorded you a certain degree of influencein this family, you have aspired to become its head. Do notaffect any misconception of my meaning. My son has told meeverything--everything--from your invaluable aid to him in his pecuniarydifficulties, to your sage counsels on his betting-book; from theadmirable advice you gave him as to his studies, to the disinterestedoffer of your own tuition. Be assured if _he_ has not understood all theadvantages so generously presented to him, I, at least, appreciate themfully. I must acknowledge you have played your game cleverly, and youhave made the mock independence of your character the mask of yourdesigns. With another than myself you might have succeeded, too,"said her Ladyship, with a smile of bitter irony; "but _I_ have fewself-delusions, Miss Henderson, nor is there amongst the number that ofbelieving that any one serves me, in any capacity, from any devotionto
my own person. I natter myself, at least, that I have so much ofhumility."
"If I understand your Ladyship aright, I am charged with some designs onCaptain Martin?" said Kate, calmly.
"Yes; precisely so," said Lady Dorothea, haughtily.
"I can only protest that I am innocent of all such, my Lady," said she,with an expression of great deference. "It is a charge that does notadmit of any other refutation, since, if I appeal to my conduct, yourLadyship's suspicions would not exculpate me."
"Certainly not."
"I thought so. What, then, can I adduce? I'm sure your Ladyship'sown delicacy will see that this is not a case where testimony can beinvoked. I cannot--you would not ask me to--require an acquittal fromthe lips of Captain Martin himself; humble as I stand here, my Lady, younever could mean to expose me to this humiliation." For the first timedid her voice falter, and a sickly paleness came over her as she utteredthe last words.
"The humiliation which you had intended for this family, Miss Henderson,is alone what demands consideration from _me_. If what you call yourexculpation requires Captain Martin's presence, I confess I see noobjection to it."
"It is only, then, because your Ladyship is angry with me that you couldbring yourself to think so, especially since another and much easiersolution of the difficulty offers itself."
"How so? What do you mean?"
"To send me home, madam."
"I understand you, young lady. I am to send you back to your father'shouse as one whose presence here was too dangerous, whose attractionscould only be resisted by means of absence and distance. A veryinteresting martyrdom might have been made of it, I 've no doubt, andeven some speculation as to the conduct of a young gentleman so suddenlybereaved of the object of his affections. But all this is much toodignified for me. _My_ son shall be taught to respect himself withoutthe intervention of any contrivance."
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As she uttered the last words, she arose and approached the bell.
"Your Ladyship surely is not going--"
"I am going to send for Captain Martin, Miss Henderson."
"Do not, I entreat of you,--I implore your Ladyship," cried Kate, withher clasped hands trembling as she spoke.
"This agitation is not without a cause, and would alone decide me tocall for my son."
"If I have ever deserved well at your hands, my Lady,--if I have servedyou faithfully in anything,--if my devotion has lightened you of onecare, or aided you through one difficulty,--spare me, oh, spare me, Ibeseech you, this--degradation!"
"I have a higher consideration to consult here, Miss Henderson, thanany which can have reference to you." She pulled the bell violently, andwhile her hand still held the cord, the servant entered. "Tell CaptainMartin to come here," said she, and sat down.
Kate leaned her arm upon the chimney-piece, and, resting her head on it,never uttered a word.
For several minutes the silence was unbroken on either side. At lastLady Dorothea started suddenly, and said,--"We cannot receive CaptainMartin here."
"Your Ladyship is full of consideration," said Kate, bitterly. "For amoment I had thought it was only an additional humiliation to which youhad destined me."
"Follow me into the drawing-room, Miss Henderson," said Lady Dorothea,proudly, as she left the room. And with slow, submissive mien Katequitted the chamber, and walked after her.
Scarcely had the door of the drawing-room been closed upon them than itwas re-opened to admit Captain Martin. He was booted and spurred forhis afternoon canter, and seemed in no wise pleased at the suddeninterruption to his project.
"They said you wanted me," cried he; "and here have I been searching foryou in your dressing-room, and all over the house."
"I desire to speak with you," said she, proudly; and she motioned to achair.
"I trust the _seance_ is to be a brief one, otherwise I 'll beg apostponement," said he, half laughingly. Then turning his glance towardsKate, he remarked for the first time the deathlike color of her face,and an expression of repressed suffering that all her self-controlcould not conceal. "Has anything happened? What is it?" said he, in ahalf-whisper.
But she never replied, nor even seemed to heed his question.
"Tell me, I beseech you," cried he, turning to Lady Dorothea,--"tell me,has anything gone wrong?"
"It is precisely on that account I have sent for you, Captain Martin,"said her Ladyship, as she assigned to him a seat with a motion of herhand. "It is because a great deal has gone wrong here--and were it notfor my vigilance, much more still likely to follow it--I have sent foryou, sir, that you should hear from this young lady's lips a denialwhich, I own, has not satisfied _me_; nor shall it, till it be madein your presence and meet with your corroboration. Your looks, MissHenderson," said she, addressing her, "would imply that all thesuffering of the present moment falls to _your_ share; but I would begyou to bear in mind what a person in _my_ sphere must endure at the barepossibility of the event which now demands investigation."
"Good heavens! will not you tell me what it is?" exclaimed Martin, inthe last extremity of impatience.
"I have sent for you, sir," resumed she, "that you should hear MissHenderson declare that no attentions on your part--no assiduities, Ishould perhaps call them--have ever been addressed to her; that, infact"--here her Ladyship became embarrassed in her explanation,--"that,in fact, those counsels--those very admirable aids to your conductwhich she on so many occasions has vouchsafed to afford you--have hadno object--no ulterior object, I should perhaps call it--and thatyour--your intercourse has ever been such as beseems the heir of Cro'Martin, and the daughter of the steward on that property!"
"By Jove, I can make nothing of all this!" cried the Captain, whosebewildered looks fully corroborated the assertion.
"Lady Dorothea, sir, requires you to assure her that I have nevermade love to you," said Kate Henderson, with a look of scorn that herLadyship did not dare to reply to. "_I_," added she, "have already givenmy pledge on this subject. I trust that your testimony will not gainsayme."
"Confound me if I can fathom it at all!" said he, more distracted thanever. "If you are alluding to the offer I made you--"
"The offer you made," cried Lady Dorothea. "When?--how?--in what wise?"
"No, no, I will speak out," said he, addressing Kate. "I am certain_you_ never divulged it; but I cannot accept that all the honorabledealing should be on one side only. Yes, my Lady, however you learnedit, I cannot guess, but it is perfectly true; I asked Miss Henderson tobe my wife, and she refused me."
A low, faint sigh broke from Lady Dorothea, and she fell back into herchair.
"She would have it,--it's not my fault,--you are witness it's not,"muttered he to Kate. But she motioned him in silence to the door, andthen opening the window, that the fresh air might enter, stood silentlybeside the chair.
A slight shivering shook her; and Lady Dorothea--her cheeks almostlividly pale--raised her eyes and fixed them on Kate Henderson.
"You have had your triumph!" said she, in a low but firm voice.
"I do not feel it such, madam," said Kate, calmly. "Nor is it in amoment of humiliation like this that a thought of triumph can enter."
"Hear me,--stoop down lower. You can leave this--tomorrow, if you wishit."
Kate bowed slowly in acquiescence.
"I have no need to ask you that what has occurred here should never bementioned."
"You may trust me, madam."
"I feel that I may. There--I am better--quite well, now! You may leaveme." Kate courtesied deeply, and moved towards the door. "One wordbefore you go. Will you answer me one question? I'll ask but one; butyour answer must be full, or not at all."
"So it shall be, madam. What is it?"
"I want to know the reason--on what grounds--you declined the proposalof my son?"
"For the same good reason, madam, that should have prevented his evermaking it."
"Disparity--inequality of station, you mean?"
"Something like it, madam. Ou
r union would have been both a blunderand a paradox. Each would have married beneath him!" And once morecourtesying, and with an air of haughty dignity, Kate withdrew, and lefther Ladyship to her own thoughts.
Strange and conflicting were the same thoughts; at one momentstimulating her to projects of passionate vengeance, at the nextsuggesting the warmest measures of reconciliation and affection. Theseindeed predominated, for in her heart pride seemed the emblem of allthat was great, noble, or exalted; and when she saw that sentiment,not fostered by the accidents of fortune, not associated with birth,lineage, and high station, but actually rising superior to the absenceof all these, she almost felt a species of worship for one so gloriouslyendowed.
"She might be a duchess!" was the only speech she uttered, and the wordsrevealed a whole volume of her meditations. It was curious enoughhow completely all recollection of her son was merged and lost in thegreater interest Kate's character supplied. But so is it frequently inlife. The traits which most resemble our own are those we alone attachimportance to, and what we fancy admiration of another is very oftennothing more than the gratified contemplation of ourselves.