By Saturday night, I was so tired of staring at the screen, I’d believe anything. The Chinese take-out guy was my soulmate? Definitely—he knew exactly what I wanted, as if he could read my mind. Or, at least, he could read the order I’d placed a half hour ago. I could be a Michelin-star chef? Yep, if Michelin was the brand of my coffeemaker. The world had ended? Of course, it had—why else would there be no hot water? Oh, would you look at that—my shower has a knob marked with a big fucking ‘H.’ Might want to try turning that one next time.
I’d blown off all the work I’d planned to do for my other clients this weekend, but it had taken twenty-four hours to find absolutely nothing about Inspex. Hayden was the only one in his office who was working on it, so I’d had to search for the name Inspex in a billion different locations. I was trespassing, poking my nose into a whole bunch of innocent people’s hard drives, innocent people’s lives just like I’d done to the people I’d helped defraud. So I took a lot of deep breaths and tried not to read too closely, just skimming for a capital ‘I.’
Then my only remaining brain cell came through, a tiny lifeline mixed into a lot of useless garbage:
“I’d like to phone a friend, Meredith.” Yep, I think I even said it out loud as I grabbed my cell phone.
“Andi? It’s one in the morning.” Rob’s voice was groggy, and I could hear Emilia’s panicked voice in the background. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry to wake you. I didn’t realize what time it was.”
“She’s fine,” he told his wife. A few times. Then I heard her grumble, “Then tell her to go to sleep like a normal person.”
“I wanted to ask you something, Rob. About that favor…”
“Sure, okay,” he said quickly. “Hang on.” He covered his phone and said something like ‘Be right back’ to Emilia. A few seconds later, he sounded completely awake. “I’m listening, Andi. What’s up?”
“I need you to tell me who is blackmailing you. What’s his name?” Conure was a huge company, but whoever it was had to be greedy and unethical, as well as ambitious, which probably meant we could scratch off the guy who sorts mail.
“Tim Carpenter. Did you get something for him?”
“Not yet. But with any luck, he got impatient and went after something himself. With even more luck, I’ll be able to find something that will take care of all our problems. Cross your fingers for me. And your toes. And anything else you got. Oh, but do it while you’re sleeping because I don’t want Emilia to be mad at me.”
“You’re a good person, Andi. I shouldn’t have asked you—”
“Stop.” I didn’t deserve his praise or his misguided belief in me, but I added, “When I call back with good news, then you can thank me, okay?”
We said good night, and I got back to work—this time, with a name to focus my search on.
And boy did I find something. It took some work to get through Tim’s security—criminals really value security when it’s theirs. Once I did, it was like taking candy from a baby, a baby who would be screaming and crying as soon as I handed his jerk-ass over to Hayden.
“Hallelujah.” With an instantly clear mind, I read more and then went through other documents in the same location. In some of them, I recognized my own voice, having tinkered with things until Hayden thought it ‘sounded right.’ Others I’d typed up—except I’d put Hayden’s name at the bottom.
Somehow, Hayden’s personal notes had been slightly doctored and then had left the company’s system from Tim’s IP address. “Oops, now how’d that happen, Timmy?” Probably a computer glitch that kept happening every time he pressed ‘send.’ Damn computers.
When I came across the fifty-something-th draft of a PowerPoint presentation that I’d spent hours and hours on, I knew I had him. All I had to do now was hand the proof over to Hayden and convince him that I hadn’t planted it. Hopefully, Tim wasn’t his best and most trusted friend. Good thing Hayden didn’t like people.
That afternoon, with the incriminating name written on my finest post-it, I called Hayden on his cell phone.
“Yes?” He normally answered with his last name, so the fact that he hadn’t made me think he was having as bad a day as I was.
“I found something.”
“Talk.” It was as if everything we’d ever said to each other had disappeared. There was no familiarity in his tone, nothing that let me know he was smiling. Everything had changed, and I hated it. This was out of my control, something I’d had nothing to do with, and it had destroyed everything good that had come before it.
“I found some drafts of contracts and emails regarding Inspex,” I said quickly. “It was only you, right? You’re the only one who should have them?”
“And you.”
I closed my eyes. “I didn’t do anything wrong, Hayden. I wouldn’t.” In a global sense, that was a complete lie—everything about my life was wrong. Everything I’d spent the last few days doing to get this proof was illegal. But I would never betray him, never take money for anything that would hurt people.
“What were they, and who stole them?”
“I found a lot of stuff, but the most recent was the PowerPoint presentation you keep changing around. This one was a few drafts ago, though. Someone named T. Carpenter must have hacked into your email account and downloaded them to his or her computer.” I felt even worse for having to pretend I’d never heard the name Tim Carpenter before, after the faith Hayden had shown me. Once a liar…
“From there,” I continued, wondering if my babbling was due to the lie or my excitement, “they were encrypted and went out to a few addresses I have here. They are—”
“T. Carpenter?”
“Yeah. Do you know him or her?”
“Him.” He paused for a second. “Yeah, I know exactly who he is. Before I confront him, I need what you’ve found, and I need to know how you found it.”
You don’t want to know how I found it. “I would email you the details, but your account has been seriously compromised. You should set up another password. A really difficult password.”
“Good thing I got you that printer, isn’t it?” Finally. His voice seemed more relaxed. Still angry, but more relaxed.
“I guess it is.” The sense of relief felt better than sex…I think. “Wow, I don’t know if I’ll remember how to do it.” Print something out or have sex.
“I’m sure it’ll come back to you,” he said. “Personally, I’ve always needed to really hold something to know it’s safe. Otherwise, I never know if it’s real.” He cleared his throat. “If Tim got into my email, then he had access to every email you’ve sent me and the reverse, correct?”
“Yes.”
“Could he have found all of our chats, as well?”
“Yes, but I don’t think we used the chat feature to discuss details for the PowerPoint too much, so…” My words slowed down as I started to understand what he was talking about. Would he get fired for our flirting? Or was he just concerned that I might get in trouble? “Not the text conversations, but… I could set something up, to block people from accessing your computer or the messages you send. But it will take time and”—I blew out a breath—“you’d have to trust me to remotely log on to your computer.”
“It has nothing to do with trust. There’s nothing on it that you haven’t already seen, including our chats. If you want to use that information against me, you could.”
“I never would.” I couldn’t stop a small whimper from leaving my throat. All I could do was hope he didn’t hear it.
“One last time,” he said. “Just so that I know. Just so I can hear you say it. Please don’t make me regret trusting you. If you’re lying, I’ll find out as soon as I speak to Carpenter. So—”
“I didn’t have anything to do with him getting the information, and I would never, ever do that to you.”
He sighed. “Thank you, Sira. Send everything you found to my office by messenger. Put it on my account.”
&n
bsp; “Hayden?” I asked quietly.
“Yes?”
“Are we okay?”
After a pause, he said, “We’re fine.”
21
Hayden
We weren’t fine. ‘Fine’ was a nothing word. It had no meaning, no commitment. The world ran on yes and no, good and bad. There was no reason to use ‘fine’ to describe anything but dishes. Or my life.
I got to the office even earlier than normal Monday morning. As soon as Tim came in—two hours later—I confronted him in his office, proof in hand. It didn’t take long until the truth came out. Not from Tim’s mouth, of course. He spattered and sputtered and made a mess of himself while denying everything, demanding to know where I’d gotten the information and loudly declaring it fraudulent.
“This isn’t an argument, Tim,” I said calmly. “Or even a discussion. This is me holding something in my hand that proves what a dishonest asshole you are. It’s not news to anyone but, until now, it’s just been a communal opinion. Now, it’s fact.”
His eyes darted around the room, looking for either an excuse or an escape route. “You made that shit up to cover your own ass, Bennett. Just so you could blame someone else when the board decides to fire you.”
“You know how good I am with computers, Tim. In fact, that’s what makes you feel superior to me, isn’t it? So how would I have made this up?”
“As if you can’t find a dozen people who would gladly do the great Hayden Bennett a favor.”
There had never been a great Hayden Bennett. Hayden Bennett was just someone with a powerful last name who’d spent his entire life hobbled by that moniker’s weight and responsibilities.
“Stop the bullshit, Tim,” I said. “All the denial in the world can’t change the truth.” I should know.
He followed me out of his office to his secretary’s desk. Rosie looked up at me with big, glossy eyes that begged not to be brought into it. Unfortunately, that wasn’t possible.
I hated threatening people but, occasionally, it was necessary. And it always worked. I didn’t waterboard them, shine bright lights in their faces, or keep them awake for days at a time. All I did was ask them for the truth. As long as I stayed calm and told them what they might lose by lying, that was usually enough to encourage a mostly honest person to act like a completely honest person.
“I didn’t steal any of those documents, Mr. Bennett,” Rosie said, her lower lip trembling. “I didn’t know why Mr. Carpenter had them or where they’d come from. But I knew they were there. On his computer. I assumed you’d sent them to him. You or your assistant.”
“You lying bitch,” Tim yelled. Her quivering jaw turned into overflowing eyes and loud crying.
I spun toward Tim. “Say another word to her, and I’ll stop being civil. Trust me, it’s already a challenge.”
He shut his mouth so fast I wondered if he’d be able to open it again to answer my next question.
“How did you get them?” I hated asking, fearing the answer, but I had to know if Sira had had any part in it. Maybe it had been an accident. Maybe Tim had approached her with a few smiley faces and told her I wanted her to send him everything she had on Inspex.
Tim glared at the woman sobbing at her desk for a minute, then looked at me. “Are you worried about your girlfriend, Bennett?”
His one last-ditch effort to take control of the situation smacked me in the center of the chest. Aside from the incredibly inaccurate word choice, yes, that’s exactly what I was worried about. Not for any public fall-out or amusement a nice scandal would provide people. All I wanted now was proof I hadn’t been wrong to trust her, to not find out she’d used me, and I’d missed it because of a screwed-up emotional state. One I had no business having to begin with.
When someone invades your life, takes over your thoughts, and secretly steals whatever they want from you, you want to know how. And why.
“Seriously, pal,” Tim said smugly, “I couldn’t give a shit what you got going on the side. Of course, your wife’s daddy might.” And there was the threat. A threat that had no effect on me because the man I was glaring at had only partially answered my question. Until that was done, I didn’t really care what else happened.
“He might,” I said calmly.
Tim sneered. “Although, you really should get your girlfriend to teach you not to use such fucking stupid passwords before Bart fires your ass and you can’t afford to keep her anymore.”
“My password,” I said through a stiff jaw. “You figured out my password.”
“In about four tries.”
That was it? It was that simple? It was my own fault. I bit down hard, my teeth grinding together. I’d accused Sira of being involved, insulted her, threatened her. I hadn’t trusted her enough to even consider the possibility that I was the reason the information got out. Damn it.
“Why did you steal from your own people, Tim? What did it get you?”
“Nothing I’d enjoy more than to see you fall off your high horse. To prove your daddy’s money and a fancy education doesn’t make you any better than the rest of us.”
“Spite? I don’t buy it. Did Brecken make you an offer after you pawned off my work as your own?”
He laughed. “Nǐ zài xiǎng tài xiǎole, Bennett.”
So it really was just to see me fall. “Too bad you won’t be able to take that job offer—your Mandarin needs work.” But his meaning was clear—why would he care about this company, or its biggest US competitor, when he already had something going on with a larger, foreign one? What a spiteful jackass.
“Your proof is bullshit, and you know it. No way it’ll stand up in court.”
“That may be true, but you know how the business world is, Tim. We gossip like teenage girls, even in China.”
Tim turned to Rosie, who was sobbing apology after apology. “Would you shut up, you old bitch? We’re trying to talk here.”
I would probably never know exactly why I did it. Why, at that exact moment, my control cracked open and my rage slipped through. Actually, ‘poured out’ was more accurate. Maybe it was in defense of the woman weeping, maybe it was to punish a thief, or maybe it was just to vent my anger at myself. Whatever the reason, my fist met the side of Tim’s jaw without any decision being made.
The bastard stumbled onto Rosie’s desk and then fell backwards onto the floor near her feet, taking most of her desk accessories with him.
Someone must have called security when they heard Tim yelling. Two guards were moving toward us quickly with their hands on their belts. I briefly wondered if I was about to get tased and thought how much that would make Sira laugh. I may have even smiled, at least until Tim spoke.
“The second you say anything to Bart or the board”—the words came out from only one side of his mouth while he stabilized the other side with his hand—“is the second I tell him all about your after-hours assistant.”
I nodded. “Which will be followed shortly thereafter by him patting me on the back for stopping a thief and juggling two women at the same time.”
Tim’s face soured as he realized the truth of my comment—no one ever knew which way Bart would go on an issue. Although, I was confident my father-in-law would go whichever way proved hurtful to the most people and most beneficial to him.
I bent down and spoke quietly. “You have a choice here, Tim. You come clean and walk away with what you have at this moment, or you pretend you didn’t do anything wrong and walk away with nothing.”
“Bennett, listen, I—”
I shushed him with a hand. “Don’t tell me. I’ll hear it from the lawyers.”
After the two security guards had pulled him off the floor, Rosie stopped sobbing and got me some ice for my hand.
All in all, a very productive day. And it was only 9:30 am.
“Thank you for your help, Rosie.” I went back to my office, closing the door on the countless stares from those in cubicles or offices who were pretending not to gawk. I sat down at my desk an
d took out my cell phone. Sira didn’t answer. It didn’t feel right to leave a message, so I booted up my computer.
‘I’m sorry.’ I pressed send and sat back in my chair, waiting for her response. It came about a minute later.
‘Don’t be. I understand why you were suspicious.’
I didn’t. ‘Are we okay?’
‘We’re fine.’
Fine. Why did a word I could use to describe every part of my existence sound so horrible coming from her? I didn’t want ‘fine’ anymore. I wanted great, perfect, amazing—all the words other people used to express the good in their lives. Sira was the best part of my day, just the idea that she might be thinking about me made me smile, feel grateful.
I didn’t want a single part of her life to be fine. I wanted her to have so much more than fine.
I waited, trying to think of what to say. How to make it up to her, to show how sorry I was for doubting her and how much she’d helped me. Before I could come up with anything, another comment appeared.
‘I’m bored. Got anything for me to do?’ A great sign we’d gone back to normal. Somewhere I wasn’t content to be anymore. But now wasn’t the time to deal with that.
‘Lots. Beginning with setting up that block on my computer.’
‘Okay. Did you set up a new password? Make sure it has numbers and punctuation.’
Yeah, can’t forget that. ‘Hang on.’ I logged onto my email account and went through the required steps, surprised at how quickly I’d learned a very simple task that I’d never bothered to learn before I met her. When I typed in the new password, I smiled. At least it would be something I’d never forget.
When I heard my door open, I turned around to see Bart, red-faced, storming into my office as if his name were on the door instead of mine.
“Tell me what happened.”
I held up a finger, knowing it was going to piss the man off, but only slightly caring. He certainly deserved it after believing in a thief more than me. He sat down in the chair his daughter had bought me as a wedding gift. Beautiful chair. You couldn’t tell by looking at it, but it was insanely uncomfortable, for me at least. My legs are too long. How many things in my life could I say the same thing about—looks perfect but doesn’t fit me.