Levi stood as Mamm entered the room, hobbling on her cane with pain etched in the wrinkles of her face. She took one look at Levi and her face brightened considerably. Rebecca should have known. Every mother loved to have a boy pursuing her daughter, but a good-looking boy was reason to be especially proud.
Rebecca stood also. “Mamm, this is Levi Cooper,” she said.
Levi handed Mamm the rose, and she breathed in the flower’s fragrance. “Denki, Levi. Rebecca tells me you have done good work for us. We are grateful.”
Levi flashed those white teeth that made every girl swoon. “I come to help Rebecca with the heavy lifting. She’s very capable. I have to work hard to keep up with her.”
“Cum,” Mamm said. “Sit.”
Mamm eased into the rocker and motioned for Rebecca and Levi to sit on the sofa.
“There are other boys interested in my Rebecca. Marvin Yutzy, Peter Stoltzfus, Giddy Yoder…”
Rebecca wanted to crawl under a rock.
“Rebecca’s fater does not usually allow others to help with the farm,” Mamm said.
“Yes, I understand. Rebecca told me.”
Rocking slowly in her chair, Mamm studied Levi’s face. “But this is a special circumstance between you and Rebecca.”
Rebecca felt her face grow hot. Mamm made it sound like they were a couple.
“My husband has granted his permission for you to be here.”
“I’m glad,” Levi said, winking at Rebecca.
Rebecca pretended not to notice. How could every gesture, every look from him, prove so unnerving and so invigorating at the same time?
“I brought a power sprayer to remove the chipped paint from the barn. Max and Danny have agreed to help. Rebecca said she could get paint for it next week.”
Levi quickly rose to his feet, no doubt in hopes of postponing a conversation that could only end in disaster. “But now I should run and get that power sprayer out of my— I should run and get that sprayer and the apricots. My mother’s friend has a tree, and she said I could have all I wanted as long as I picked them.”
“Sit, sit,” Mamm said. “No need to be in a hurry.” She shifted in the rocker and laid the rose in her lap. “Tell me about yourself, Levi. Who is your family? Do I know your parents?”
The moment Rebecca had been dreading had finally come. She wouldn’t lie to her mother. A lie was like a hole in the roof. A person had to spend a lot of energy to keep the water from spreading, and like as not, a new leak would appear, and then another and another, and soon there weren’t enough buckets to catch the lies.
And Levi wouldn’t lie either. He had many flaws that, due to his honesty, Rebecca knew all about. He wasn’t perfect, but he wasn’t the type to say an untruth. What would he tell Mamm?
She saw Levi look uncertain for the first time, but he charged ahead with a speech he must have rehearsed several times before coming over. “You might know my mother,” he said. “My father passed away when I was seven years old.”
“Oh, I am sorry,” Mamm said.
“My mother is Mary Stutzman. Her parents are Alphy and Nancy Petersheim.”
Mamm’s eyes widened, and she put her hand to her mouth. “Mary and Isaac’s boy,” she said softly.
Rebecca stared at Levi. She had never before seen the kind of pain in his eyes that she saw now. Had she not cared enough to look?
“Oh, the poor girl. A sad story, that,” Mamm said. She sat quietly for a moment with a strange look in her eye. “She married an Englischer and left the church. Took her two little ones with her.”
“I was seven, Beth was three. My father’s death crushed my mother; I remember that much. I’d lay awake at night and listen to her crying.”
“We felt sorry for her,” Mamm said. “But the new man made her very happy.”
“My stepdad came on the scene at her lowest point, I think. He got her through a lot.” Levi frowned. “Even though he left us, I believe he really loved her.”
“He left?” Mamm said.
“Yeah, they’re divorced now. Mom works at the hospital, and he lives in Chicago.”
“And you?”
“I work two jobs in Patton, and my sister, Beth, is going to college this fall.”
Mamm propped her chin in her hand and stared at Levi. He waited for her to say what they all knew she was thinking.
“I do not understand, Levi. You are an Englischer now, aren’t you?”
Levi nodded and lowered his gaze. He must not have been counting on that dependable charm to see him through.
“Why do you… I don’t understand. Why are you here?”
His matter-of-fact tone almost put Rebecca at ease, but she knew better. “I’m here because”—he glanced at Rebecca—“because I like Rebecca, a lot, and she needs help with the farm.”
A pleasant warmth spread through Rebecca’s body.
He liked her.
This wasn’t big news, was it? But hearing him speak it so plainly to her mother somehow made it finally true.
Rebecca held her breath as she watched the emotions play on her mother’s face. Confusion gave way to realization. Outrage followed close behind.
“What do you think you are doing? Are you trying to steal my Rebecca away?”
Levi gazed earnestly at Mamm. “I saw how hard it was for my mom to fit into the Englisch world. I wouldn’t do that to Rebecca.”
Rebecca put her ice-cold hands to her flushed cheeks. Mamm and Levi were jumping from one very big conclusion to another.
“Then you will break her heart.”
“I never want to do that.”
In a surge of indignation, Mamm rose to her feet. “I forbid this relationship, Rebecca, for your own good. I absolutely forbid it.”
Even though she knew it was coming, Mamm’s reaction crashed into Rebecca like a charging bull. She let out her breath and blinked until she subdued the threatening tears.
Levi slumped his shoulders and looked at Rebecca, his face saturated with disappointment. “I will abide by your wishes,” he said. “Thank you for listening to what I had to say.”
Rebecca fully expected Mamm to storm out of the room. Instead, she fell silent and stared at both of them as her expression softened. “This is for your own good,” she said.
If Rebecca could have mustered the composure to speak, she would have reassured her mother. It will be fine. We will be fine.
Rebecca stood and took her mother’s arm. “Cum,” she managed to say. “Back to bed. Levi will go.” Her voice cracked once, but with any luck, Mamm did not even notice.
Taking Rebecca’s chin in her hand, Mamm looked into her daughter’s eyes. “I am only thinking of what is best for you. You understand?”
Rebecca mustered a cheerful expression. “Jah, of course. Do not worry, Mamm. Worrying aggravates your condition, and you have enough on your plate without fretting about me. I will help you back to bed.”
“I just wanted to help,” Levi said. “I know how hard it is for Rebecca.”
Mamm’s voice rose in pitch and volume. “You know how hard it is? What do you know about our family? Our way of life?”
Levi’s expression hardened. “I know that if you keep working your daughter this hard, she’ll resent it. How much more can she take before she snaps and leaves you forever?”
“So you do want to steal my daughter away.”
A pit formed in Rebecca’s stomach. Levi was only making things worse. “I would never leave you, Mamm,” she protested. “Never.”
Levi sensed Rebecca’s distress and hung his head. “I’m sorry. I am out of line for saying that. I will go now.” He locked eyes with Mamm. “Could I have your permission to milk the cows before I leave? To help Rebecca one last time?”
“Max has already milked,” Mamm said. She turned her back on both of them and started down the hall.
“Max is in bed,” Rebecca said quietly.
Mamm stopped short. “And your sister?”
Rebecca hesitated
. “Asleep.”
Furrowing her brow, Mamm shuffled back into the living room and sank into her chair. “Guide me, Lord.”
She rocked back and forth with her head in her hands while Levi and Rebecca stared at her in silence.
“What did you do last night, Rebecca?” Mamm said, not looking up.
“The regular things,” Rebecca said, wondering what her mother wanted to hear.
“Laundry?”
“Jah, some laundry.”
“And mopping. And dishes.”
“Jah,” Rebecca said.
“What time did you go to bed, heartzly?”
“I don’t know.”
Mamm looked up. “It was after midnight, wasn’t it?”
“Don’t be upset, Mamm. I will try to get to bed earlier.”
Mamm held up her hand and shook her head and rocked back and forth, her face pale and a frown on her lips. The wrinkles on her face deepened, and she looked ten years older.
“I have been pretending that things weren’t this bad. I thought that if I closed my eyes to the truth, I wouldn’t have to do anything about it.” Her voice cracked. “I don’t have the energy or the strength to do anything about it.”
“Mamm, you are sick. Of course you can’t—”
“Things here are very hard for you. I have taken advantage of your good heart because the others are not so easily persuaded.”
The last thing Rebecca wanted was for Mamm to feel guilty.
“I will be fine,” Rebecca said.
“I don’t want you to be fine. I want you to be happy. You are so concerned for my well-being, and I am too selfish to think about yours.” Mamm sighed and massaged her forehead. “You did not go to the gathering on Friday night, did you?”
“Nae, Mamm. I never said I did.”
“You were with Levi?”
Rebecca didn’t want to further upset her mother, but she couldn’t bear the thought of giving up her one source of happiness. “It is only one night a week.”
“I don’t want to be your enemy,” Mamm said. “I want you to share your heart instead of tiptoeing around me for fear I’ll ruin your life.”
Rebecca couldn’t argue. That was precisely how she had been behaving.
Mamm looked at Levi and sighed. “As sure as rain, you are a gute boy, Levi Stutzman. For good or ill, Rebecca likes you. Not only that, but you lighten her burden plenty—one thing I cannot do.” She sighed again in surrender. “You have my permission to return to our farm whenever you like.”
Levi studied Mamm with undisguised disbelief. “I do?”
“Jah, but it would be better if the children know as little about you as possible.”
Levi smiled as if his joy would burst into laughter at any moment.
Rebecca was surprised by her own elation. “But what will you tell Fater?”
Mamm suddenly looked very weary. “I am hoping the subject will not come up for several weeks.”
Levi’s confidence returned as quickly as it had fled. “I was born Amish,” he said. “My parents are Amish. So, technically, I am in rumschpringe. Maybe that is all your husband needs to know.”
Mamm managed a half smile. “I will cross that bridge when I come to it.”
Grinning widely, Levi squeezed Rebecca’s hand and headed for the front door. “Do you want the apricots in my car? Three bushels.”
“Jah. We will can them today while you spray the barn,” Rebecca said.
“I could drive the car up to the front door here and unload them quick.”
“I will help you fetch them. Linda and Max will never believe you are a gute Amish boy if you drive a car.”
Levi pointed to his outfit. “Look at me,” he said. “Even I’m starting to believe I’m Amish.”
* * * * *
Rebecca handed Levi a glass of water. Sweat poured from his face as he gulped the ice-cold liquid like a man in the desert. His clothes were still damp from the power spraying, and the late afternoon sun beat down on his hatless head.
He drained the glass and gasped for air. “Okay, I thought lifting weights was hard, but splitting logs is like the best workout ever.”
“I think you have chopped up a whole winter’s supply,” Rebecca said.
“Gute,” Levi said. “Then maybe you won’t have to chop another log until spring.”
“You said ‘gute.’”
Levi grinned and wiped the sweat from his forehead. “Jah, I can speak the local language when I want to.”
“You spend a lot of time with the Amish. You dress Amish. Now you are speaking with the accent. Aren’t you afraid you will turn Amish?”
He pasted on a peculiar expression and winked at her. “Nae, I’m not afraid of that.”
She loved the way her insides curled when he looked at her.
No, no, she didn’t. That sort of thing was romantic rot for the wide-eyed teenagers at the gatherings.
“I loved being Amish,” he said. “I remember the ice-skating in the winter and the fishing in summertime. We knew how to have fun.” He got a faraway look in his eyes before snapping back to the present. “How did the apricots go?”
“Six dozen quarts and little left over for jam tomorrow. Mamm helped. And Linda, a little.”
Levi chuckled. “Linda is a gute helper.”
“Thank you for bringing the apricots. They will be nice to have this winter.”
“I hope so.” Levi’s face darkened. “I wish I could do more for you.”
“Do not say that. I cannot believe what you have done already.”
Levi shook his head. “You’re half starving out here.”
Rebecca took a step back and hardened her face against him. “I know I am full of faults, but I think I manage very well.”
“Well? You’re a miracle worker, Rebecca.”
“Then why do you criticize?”
Levi hung his head. “I’m sorry if it sounds like I am finding fault with you. I would never, never do that.”
“Jah, okay,” Rebecca said. How could she think Levi was like Fater?
“I care about you. I hate that your life is so hard.”
“Life is hard, no matter whose life you are living. But life is gute also. Life is work because work sustains life. And we have many reasons to be happy. Look at that barn. Freshly scrubbed and ready to be painted. What could be better than that?”
Levi handed Rebecca the empty glass. “Getting a glass of water and a smile from Rebecca Miller. That’s the best thing to happen to me all day.”
“Ach, you are a manure expert, Levi Cooper. You spread flattery like our bishop gives out handshakes.”
He held out his hands in surrender. “How will I convince you that every word is true?”
“You won’t.”
“I guess I’ll keep trying, kid.”
“You are wasting your efforts, Bub.”
“Bub. The fat guy who sits on the bench outside the drugstore and smokes three packs a day. I like it.” He put an arm around her shoulder.
She pushed him away playfully.
Levi wiped his hands on his trousers. “Now that the wood’s done, I’m hungry. How about Chinese tonight?”
“I’ve never had it.”
“Oh, kid, you’re in for a treat.”
Chapter Eighteen
Levi snatched his keys from the dresser and practically sprinted down the hallway.
Mom, in her scrubs, stood in the closet-sized kitchen looking into the fridge.
“See ya, Mom. I’m going to the bicycle shop.”
“Wait, wait!” Mom practically yelled. “What time do you have to be there?”
“I can be there anytime I want. The sooner I get there, the more bikes I can fix.”
“Have you eaten?”
Levi jangled his keys. “No, I’ll grab a bite when I get home.”
“Let me fix you something before you go.”
“No, Mom. Really, I’m fine.”
“Give me ten minutes. I’ll make you a
quesadilla.”
“I’m okay.”
“It won’t hurt you to sit down and eat before you shrink to nothing and blow away.”
Levi looked down at himself. “Do I look like I’ve lost weight?”
“No, but I’m not taking any chances. I haven’t made you dinner for weeks.”
“We had dinner together on Sunday.”
Mom shook her head. “Not counting Sundays.”
Levi looked at his phone. He could spare a few minutes for Mom. He pulled a stool from under the counter and sat in silent acquiescence.
Mom opened a cupboard and clattered a few pans around before finding the skillet she was looking for. She thumped it on top of the stove and went to the fridge for tortillas and cheese.
“Do you want help?”
“No, relax. I don’t think you’ve sat for more than five minutes this week.”
“Neither have you.”
Mom glanced at Levi and shook her head. “I get enough leisure. You’re like the Energizer Bunny.”
Levi loved to watch his mom cook. She grated and chopped and sautéed as if second nature. Her movements were like a musician conducting an orchestra. Soon the smell of onions and peppers and fried ham permeated the small apartment. Levi breathed deeply and let his mouth water in anticipation.
“Do you want pepper jack?” Mom said.
“Yeah, that’s great.”
“Are you working late tonight?”
“Probably. Lots of broken bikes.”
Mom turned the tortilla on the skillet and sprinkled white and orange cheese over it. “You work tomorrow?”
“I took the day off. I’m going to Wisconsin Dells with some friends.”
“And that girl? Beth says you’re dating someone.”
Levi’s “danger” alert perked up. “What did she tell you?”
Mom looked up from her culinary creation and smiled. “No need to panic. She said you broke up with Tara. Says it’s a nice girl this time.”
He breathed a little easier. “That Beth is such a blabbermouth.”
“It’s not like I wouldn’t have figured it out on my own. You’ve got so much spring in your step, you could bounce to the moon and back.”