Jason was temporarily at a loss for words. “Claire, I’ve obviously upset you, which was not my intention. Tom asked me who I was seeing at the hospital which brought up the conversation of your mother. As I said, I know how important she is to you, and I wanted to make sure you didn’t have to worry about her getting the help that she needs. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you, and I’ll of course respect your wishes in this.” Claire stared into his eyes and saw nothing but sincerity.
Was she overreacting? Was her past relationship with her father coloring everything she did? Still feeling uneasy despite his assurances, Claire knew that the hospital was probably not the best place for a heart to heart talk with him and decided to let the matter drop for now. Soon though, they had to discuss his habit of trying to run her life. He had to understand that she was capable of making her own decisions. Maybe her mother and father started out this way in the beginning; then he had he started taking over small areas of her life until he finally consumed her?
~~~
Boy he royally messed this one up. His conversation with Tom had begun as innocently as he indicated to Claire. His assurance to Tom that he wanted the best for Claire’s mother regardless of the cost had gone a little beyond what he had admitted to her. Taking care of people was second nature to him. He never considered himself a nurturing person, he was simply someone who saw a problem or a need and fixed it.
One thing having money, and plenty of it, had taught him was that most everything could be fixed for a price. He wasn’t consumed by money and didn’t throw it around. He, however, did appreciate the good deeds that he could easily do because of it. Growing up as he had obviously colored his views of relationships. Whatever he had with Claire now was the closest he had ever been to a committed relationship, and he was committed to her, more than she would be comfortable knowing.
He needed her; he burned for her, and he longed for the taste of her. He stayed in an almost constant start of arousal now. If she walked into the room, he was hard within minutes. Each time he thought he had sated his hunger for her, but it only burned brighter. She was a witch, and he was completely under her spell. It wasn’t just the sex though that held him spellbound; it was Claire, the person, as well.
He loved that she worried about everyone around her but never herself. He loved how she sucked her lower lip into her mouth when she was deep in thought, he loved how his house had felt like a home with her inside, and he loved her independence even though he didn’t know how to handle it and seemed to screw up at every turn.
How could you explain to a woman that you’d practically been born taking care of people? He often thought his mother had decided to have a child simply to have someone to solve all her problems at any time of the day or night. He had never been a child though, he had been the go-to man since he was old enough to walk and talk. Hell, he still spent a good part of his time solving his mother’s problems.
After almost losing Claire over the loan at work and the loss of her job at Partiez Plus, he told himself he would never again interfere in her life, but he had stumbled again today. His need to protect her was taking over with little thought to the consequences. Being involved with someone who seemed to want nothing from him other than, well, just him was something new; and frankly, he didn’t know how to act. He was a smart man; surely he could manage to keep it together enough not to ruin the best thing to happen to him.
~~~
Claire walked Jason to the exit door of the hospital where his car was waiting. Jason rarely used a car and driver even though someone in his position could easily afford to. He had assured her that he didn’t need his Mercedes and wanted her to keep it. Even though she was still uneasy over their earlier conversation, she promised she was going to run by her apartment that evening to pick up a few things and would return to his house to stay for the night.
Maybe that wasn’t the best idea, she felt like she needed time to think about her relationship with Jason. Things seemed to have moved so far, so fast. She would take some extra time this evening when she was at her apartment to think.
Dr. Mauldin made his last round of the day and indicated he would have the test results sometime tomorrow. Her mother was going to start some light rehabilitation as well to keep up her muscle tone. She was still having great difficulty forming her words and also with use of her left arm and hand. Louise’s sister had picked her up a few minutes ago, and Claire was preparing to leave with visiting hours ending very soon.
They’d given her mother a light sleeping pill to help her anxiety and ensure she rested well. She seemed to be less confused this afternoon and Claire was very grateful for the patient, encouraging manner of both Dr. Mauldin and Glenda. She knew they were just getting started on a long road but today at least she felt somewhat encouraged that there could be a light somewhere at the end of the tunnel.
Chapter Twenty Four
Claire pulled the Mercedes in beside her Toyota in front of her apartment. Luckily, each apartment was assigned two spaces which Claire rarely needed. As she was getting out of the car, she saw Billy approaching from the other side. With an inward groan, she tried to plaster on a friendly smile. “Hey Billy, how have you been?”
“Hey Claire, no complaints, I’m doing well. Where is your boyfriend?”
“Oh, I’m just picking up a few things; he isn’t along this time.” Ugh great Claire, why don’t you ask him to abduct you next since you admitted to being alone. “He’s waiting for me though so I need to run in and pick up a few things and be on my way.”
“Are you moving in with him?”
“Oh, I don’t know; we haven’t made any decisions on that yet.”
“Claire, I just wanted to say I was sorry if I scared you before, you know, when I kept asking you out. I admit; Billy did have kind of a crush on you, and I hoped we could get together but since your boyfriend came and talked to me and told me how I was scaring you, well old Billy was just embarrassed.”
Claire was trying not to smile at Billy’s continued use of himself in the third person when his words started to sink in. “What’re you talking about Billy? When did you talk to Jason?”
“Well I guess it was the next day after I met you two here. He came to see me and told me I was making you uncomfortable. He was real nice but serious; you know trying to protect his girl. Billy can respect that, being a man and all. Don’t you worry at all about your place while you’re gone, I’ll keep an eye out on things.” Somehow managing to say something in parting to Billy, Claire stumbled into her apartment and closed the door.
My God, Jason really has taken over my entire life. What other things were there that she didn’t know? Had he contacted everyone she knew to cut her off from the world, just like her father did to her mother? Claire walked into her bedroom and collapsed on the bed; all the hope that Jason was different going out of her.
The signs had all been there; she’d just chosen to ignore them. It felt so good to have someone in her life that genuinely seemed to care about her, someone to lean on for the first time in her life. This was a side of Jason that was completely unexpected. Sure he was dominating in business but most successful men were. He cared about everyone in the company that much was obvious.
To be involved with him though, was to lose her identity, and how long after would the abuse start? Her father hadn’t always been someone her mother considered a monster. She probably felt protected and cherished at first until he slowly chipped away at everything she was. Even though her heart was breaking, it was time to walk away from Jason while she still had the strength to do it.
She didn’t know how long she’d been lying in the dark when she heard a knock at the door. Oh wonderful, Billy has some more bad news for me. Maybe Jason kicked his dog after threatening him. Wearily getting to her feet, Claire walked to the door and swung it open without checking to see who was on the other side.
Jason stood there, a warm smile on his face. He stepped forward to kiss her lightly on the lips an
d then walked around her into the apartment seeming not to notice the frozen expression on her face. “I had my driver drop me here. I thought I could help you pack some of your things, and we could stop for dinner on the way home.” Suddenly, he stopped to examine her face and the rumpled condition of her clothing. “Were you resting?”
“Jason, I’m not going to your house tonight.” She walked over to the side table where he had tossed his keys and handed them to him.
“What’s going on? You want to stay here? I guess I could grab a few things from home and come back if that’s what you really want.”
She tried to draw on her earlier anger to keep the tears in check and said, “I don’t want you here either. Whatever this is that we’ve been doing is over. I know this will make working together impossible, so I’ll find another job. Suzy can pick my things up for me at the office.”
“Whoa! What the hell are you talking about? I seem to have missed out on something major here. You’re breaking up with me because I talked to your mother’s doctor today? I know I might have been out of line a bit, but I don’t think that’s any reason to take this drastic step.”
Claire could see the confusion in Jason’s eyes and the red flush covering his face. His normal unflappable cool seemed to be deserting him. “It’s not just that Jason, it’s a series of things like it though. This is best for both of us. I’ve been controlled almost my entire life; I can’t make the mistake of continuing the cycle," replied Claire.
"You’re upset over your mother, and you’re overreacting. Let’s talk about our relationship later when you have calmed down some,” said Jason in a soothing voice.
Claire saw red at the patronizing tone of his voice. Anger took control as she yelled “Don’t talk to me like I’m an idiot Jason, I know exactly what I’m doing and as for our relationship, we don’t have one! We slept together a few times but great sex doesn’t mean we’re married now!”
Claire sucked in a breath and prepared to deliver the final blow, knowing she was going to have to twist the knife even deeper to get him to leave. “I tried Jason, I really did, but you just aren’t my type. I’ve been seeing someone else that I met at one of the bachelor parties, and I think we’re a better fit. I’m not looking for anything serious, you’re smothering me,” finished Claire with a pitying smile.
Jason stared at her like he had never seen her before. His handsome face went white, completely devoid of color. With a look of pure disgust, he spun on his heel and slammed out her door without uttering a single word in response.
On shaky legs, Claire walked over and locked her door and collapsed on the floor. Sobs ripped from her throat as every piece of her heart shattered into a million pieces. Claire knew that as long as she lived, she would never be whole again. She loved him; maybe the lust that she’d always joked with herself about feeling for him had been love all along. Just knowing she would never see him at the office, never see those blue eyes twinkle when he laughed, never feel his hands on her body bringing her to a frenzied pitch made her want to run after him and beg him to forgive her, but she couldn’t.
In ten years or less she would be her mother, and she would rather be alone than love someone so bent on consuming her. As she curled up into a ball on the floor, Claire wondered if she would ever find the strength or will to move again.
~~~
Jason walked to his car in disbelief. He wanted to turn around and go back, to demand to know what was going on but the memory of the cold, remote expression on Claire’s face stopped him. Had the things that he thought he was doing to help her been the very things that pushed her away? He didn’t believe the bit about her seeing someone else; that just wasn’t the way Claire was made. He knew it was his actions alone that had pushed her away and for that he had no answer.
Ironic really, the one time in his life that he let himself depend on another person, get emotionally involved, he was kicked in the stomach and discarded like yesterday’s trash. If this was how love ended up making you feel, then he was finished with it. Almost on auto pilot he arrived home and entered a house which seemed to be filled with such promise only this morning.
Chapter Twenty Five
Claire somehow survived the next week. Most of her mother’s test results were back, and the news wasn’t as promising as she’d hoped but not a worst-case scenario either. Dr. Mauldin didn’t feel that another stroke was imminent. The damage sustained from this one was more than likely permanent, and her mother would need months of rehabilitation to learn to cope with the handicaps left behind.
The process would be slow with her Alzheimer’s. Dr. Mauldin was convinced that her mother would need to move into a rehabilitation center for awhile rather than trying it on an outpatient basis. Her insurance would cover some of the cost but would still leave a large amount that needed to be paid. Claire walked back out into the waiting room and put her face in her hands. How was she going to cover all the expenses?
She felt a touch on her head and looked up into the concerned eyes of Louise. Louise took one of her hands and said, “Honey, I know you’re overwhelmed and trying to decide what to do. If you don’t mind an old woman giving you some advice, I would like to tell you something that you don’t know.”
Her curiosity peaked; Claire waited for her to continue. “Many years ago there were two old women who liked to think ahead. In a house where it wasn’t encouraged to think at all, much less make any plans, we did what we could on our own. Your mama always knew you were the strong one. Even back then she sensed at some point you’d be taking care of us all. Your daddy moved everything into your mama’s name well before he died. He claimed it was for tax purposes, but I really believe he just wanted to be free and clear, in case he decided to run off with one of those floozies that he loved to hang out with.”
Almost choking in surprise, Claire said, “Floozies?”
“Honey there isn’t another word for them, and I think you always knew your daddy liked the women. He wanted your mama under his thumb as the status symbol of the happily married man, but he also wanted the wild ones to run with. We told your daddy many times that we were going to the market or some errand, but actually we were meeting my cousin Bill, a lawyer we could trust. Your mama had everything, including the house put into your name years ago. We were really careful to keep it hidden. Your daddy never thought anyone had a brain other than him, so he never really looked hard enough to find out. Honey, that house is worth a lot of money. It may be in disrepair, but it’s on prime land and would bring a pretty penny if you sold it. I know you think your mama would never adjust if she left there but it’s the opposite really. It’s taken me a long time to realize it, but that house has been her prison for so long, she needs to get out. There are so many bad memories there for her that I think she hides inside her mind just to escape them.”
Claire could feel her mouth opening and closing with no sounds coming out. “My God, Louise, I’d no idea! Why would she have the house put in my name with Chrissie still alive?”
“Honey we both know your sister wasn’t very strong. Now your mama had no idea what would happen to her; she just took steps to protect you girls. She wanted you to be able to sell the house and have the money to take care of you and your sister. She held on there so many years to give that to you.”
Tears were rolling down her face as she gripped Louise’s hand tightly. “I never knew. I thought she was completely in denial over what was going on. I can’t believe you two did all of this on your own and managed to hide it from him; that took a lot of guts.”
Louise smiled at her and laughed. “Honey, us old ladies still got a trick or two up our sleeves. Now you find someone to list that house with and set your mama free. She needs a new life and so do you. It’s time all those ghosts were laid to rest. Someone else can come in and make a life there, give that place some happy memories.”
~~~
Claire talked to her mother that afternoon about everything Louise had told her. She saw a s
parkle in her eyes that had never been there before and it looked strangely like pride. It was a strain for her mother to talk, but she managed to confirm her wishes for the house to be sold.
She spent the afternoon arranging for a real estate agent to meet her there the next day. She also called an employment agency and lined up some interviews at the end of the week. If she could find an office job during the day, she could possibly work a weekend job as well when her mother was settled into the rehabilitation center.
Claire took a few moments to check the messages on her cell phone which she’d been ignoring. Julie had left several messages wanting to know why she wasn’t working for Partiez Plus any longer. Suzy had also been ringing her phone off the hook so as soon as she was settled at home, she returned her call.
“Girlfriend, you got some explaining to do,” said Suzy. “I call and call and you never answer. Are we seeing other friends now or something?”
With a laugh, Claire said, “Nope, you know you’re my one and only. It’s been crazy here; I’ve almost lived at the hospital. Thank you for the flowers that you brought to mom, she really loved them. She’s the envy of everyone on the floor now.”
“I’m glad she liked them. I’m sorry I missed you when I dropped by, I thought I could grill you; um, I mean to feed you.”
“Grill me huh? About what?”
With a long, dramatic sigh, Suzy said, “Don’t act dumb babe, it’s so not you. I know that your love life has hit the skids for some reason. From the looks of Jason, I don’t think it’s his idea. The man looks like he has been run over by a truck. Candace who has been filling in for you says he never leaves the office. He’s there when she gets there and there when she leaves. She suspects he has been sleeping there. I’m even starting to question his bathing habits, ugh. So what gives with you two? And before you even say it, I know I’m nosey as hell but hey, it’s part of my charm, right? You seemed so happy with him, what happened?”