Page 12 of Never Enough


  And to have realized it was never about money for her. Not ever. That shamed him. He’d compared her to the series of nasty people who’d tried to shake him down for one reason or another. Brody had been right. He hadn’t been fair to her. It seemed absurd that he’d ever suspected anything like that from her when she was, well, Gillian, amazing mother, beautiful, sexy woman, creative and successful business woman and his . . . well, whatever they had.

  Miles came in, a shy smile on his face, and Adrian’s heart lifted again. “Yo, kid.”

  “Yo, um, so what am I supposed to call you anyway?” Miles looked at Adrian’s shoulder.

  Brody had told him to just go with what he felt. To be natural with Miles and Miles would feel it. In truth he was scared as hell to fail this amazing kid, but he’d do his damnedest not to.

  He reached out, taking Miles’s shoulder gently to get his attention. “You’re my son, Miles. I know we didn’t know each other last month, but I love you. And we’ll keep getting to know each other and hopefully one day it’ll be as easy between you and me as it is between you and your mom. Call me what feels best to you. Adrian. Dad. Whatever.”

  Miles blushed and kicked the toe of his sneaker against the floor. “Okay. That sounds okay.”

  “You wanna jam?” Adrian asked. “My guitar is in the guest room.”

  Miles’s eyes widened and he gifted Adrian with one of his rare, open grins. Shy was Miles. He must have gotten that from Gillian’s side of the family because no Browns were shy. But Adrian liked it on his son.

  “That would be monumental. Mum!” he called, surprising Adrian.

  She poked her head from her office door. “You bellowed?”

  “Me and Dad are going to jam. You should too.”

  Dad. Wow. Adrian was so caught up in that moment that he nearly missed the fact that Miles had asked her to jam with them. He hadn’t heard her play piano yet, and that seemed ridiculous. Especially as he’d seen her pussy up close and personal more than once.

  “I’ve got to finish this. You two go on and I’ll get dinner started when I finish. I’m keeping the door open so I can hear you though.” She smiled at Adrian before going back into her office, making him wonder if she really did have more work or if she was giving him time with Miles.

  “We’re working on ‘Creep’ right now.” Miles followed him to the guest room so Adrian could grab his guitar.

  Miles stuttered to a halt, eyes wide as saucers, wonder stamped all over his features. He reached out, only to snatch his hand back. “Wow, that’s your guitar? Wow. Wow.”

  Adrian wasn’t a stranger to people admiring his music or his guitar or whatever. But this was different. Made him feel proud in a way he’d never experienced outside his immediate circle. And this was even better than hearing Brody tell him something was good.

  He looked down at the guitar and saw it through Miles’s eyes. “Yeah. I’ve had this guitar just a little longer than you’ve been alive. It’s still my favorite.”

  He turned to see Miles’s eyes wide as he looked at the guitar. He held it out. “Wanna try it?”

  Miles backed up a step, his hands up. “Oh, I don’t know. Wow. That’s like. Like a 1959 Sunburst?” He dragged his gaze from the guitar back up to Adrian’s face. “I looked it up. You know when you first came around I looked you up on the Internet. Is that weird?”

  Adrian couldn’t help his laugh. “Nah, dude, this whole situation has been wild. I’m glad you looked me up on the Internet, but also, if you want to know about it, ask me. I know we’ve got a lot of stuff to learn about each other.”

  Miles nodded, ducking his head in a way Adrian recognized in both Brown brothers. He tipped his chin to indicate the guitar. “I don’t think I’ve seen one for real. Just, you know, on the Internet. This is a special thing. You know, the few of your things that’s so special you’re allowed to be a bit greedy over.”

  Adrian liked Gillian even more right then.

  “Yes, this guitar is totally my special thing. But I get to be greedy with her all the time. I’ve used this guitar on every single CD I’ve made but the first one.” He ran his fingertips along the little modifications he’d made over time. Hardware swaps and additions.

  This guitar, until Miles had come along, had been his most precious thing. And his son got that. Christ, he was a lucky man.

  He held the guitar out toward Miles. “I can share my special thing with my son. That’s the sort of thing dads are supposed to do, right?”

  Miles couldn’t hold the edges of his excited smile back as he stared at the guitar. “Dude, take it. You’re not going to break it. You know how to hold an instrument. I’m not worried.” He handed the guitar over and moved past Miles out toward the stairs, wanting to show just how unconcerned he was that Miles would be anything but careful.

  It made Adrian ridiculously happy to share it with Miles, with someone who understood the beauty of your own guitar. With his son. Damn.

  They set up in the garage, where Miles’s band had the practice space.

  “Mum jams with me in the house, but when we practice, she comes out here.” Miles pointed to the stand-up piano in the corner.

  “Is she good then?”

  Miles plugged his bass in and then returned to Adrian’s guitar, sliding his fingers along the smooth-worn spot just below the strings, the spot he’d wear on his own guitar someday.

  “Yeah, she’s mag. I never heard anyone play like her, even her friends she takes us to see when they come to town.”

  He had a piano in his studio; he’d have to see if he could lure her into playing something for him. And maybe the story about why she didn’t pursue it professionally other than as a piano teacher.

  Miles handed him the guitar.

  Adrian grinned, plugged in and gave the strings a brush, eliciting a Brody-like grin in return.

  For the next hour they went over the chords for “Creep,” a simple enough bass line for Miles to learn. Also a great bass line to show just how integral a bass player was to a band. And then they noodled around with other stuff, just playing and riffing off one another.

  “Tomorrow,” Adrian said as they put things away and headed back to the house, “we should get your aunt to get in on this. She’s been pestering me to play with us.” He laughed, because it had been true.

  “Yeah? But you guys are like, wow, well, rock stars and stuff. I’m just a kid.”

  He turned, clasping his son’s shoulder. “You’re my son. You’re her nephew. We started at your age. Music runs in the family, it’s what we like to do, you know, like the family business and all. It’s fun, isn’t it?”

  Miles’s features lit up, excited again. “Yeah. I’d play all the time if Mum didn’t make me go to school and take out the trash and stuff.” He paused. “Not that I’m complaining. She’s a great mom. She wants me to get an education and be responsible.”

  “It’s okay, I know. She is a good mom. I like that you call her Mum.” They climbed up the deck and went through the house just as Gillian wandered past, laughing at something a man he’d never seen was saying.

  “Cal!” Miles moved to bump fists with the other man, who looked at Adrian’s son with affection clear on his features.

  “Good to see you, my man. Your mom tells me you were out jamming with your dad. How’d it go?”

  Adrian relaxed slightly.

  “Awesome. He taught me some new stuff. You staying for dinner?”

  “Well, I . . .” He turned to Adrian, clearly taking his measure. “I’m Cal Whaley. Gillian’s attorney and a friend too.”

  “He’s pretty much a member of our family. Miles, take your things to your room please.” Gillian moved past them into the kitchen. “Cal, you know you’re welcome, though it’s grilled cheese and tomato soup night so you’d probably get better if you showed up at Mary’s looking hungry.”

  Adrian shook the man’s hand. “Adrian Brown, nice to meet you.”

  “Mary told me I was on my own. You
know how she can be some Fridays.” Cal sent a look to Gillian, who laughed.

  “Mary is my friend, she runs one of those mobile food trucks, called Luxe. She’s a master cook. Never made a thing I haven’t adored with all my taste buds. But sometimes on Friday nights she calls in pizza, hunkers down and does not answer her phone. Cal’s her brother.”

  “Yeah, well, six days a week she’s always happy to have me at her table and if I’d begged or sucked my gut in, she would have found something for me in her fridge. She likes to take care of people. I figure every once in a while I can leave her alone to have a Friday night to herself. So if you don’t mind, Adrian, I’d like to stay for dinner, get to know you a bit. Gillian and Miles are part of our family, you see. I’ve been charged to get the inside dirt, as Gillian has forbidden Jules to come over.”

  “That’s a bloody lie, Calvin Whaley!” Gillian called out from where she’d just turned the soup on. She was easy around Cal. Relaxed and affectionate. Adrian tried not to be grumpy as he watched Cal coax the ginormous Fat Lucy into his arms where the furry traitor purred and enjoyed being scratched behind her ears. Slutty cat.

  “Whatever the truth, I’m in. I’d like to get to know the people in Miles’s life better.” Adrian sent the man a charming enough smile, but also he hoped enough seriousness that he saw Adrian would be also checking them out.

  “Well, good then. Want a beer?” After depositing the cat on her perch, Cal moved past Adrian into the kitchen as Miles came back downstairs.

  The man sure was at home in Gillian’s house. Hm. He seemed to also have great affection for both mother and son. Adrian wondered how much he had for the mother.

  “Yeah, thanks.”

  Cal popped the top on a bottle, poured it into a glass and put it at Gillian’s elbow as she sliced cheese for the sandwiches.

  “Thank you, darlin’.” Which sounded more like daw-lin in her accent. Hot.

  To Adrian, he handed a bottle, as he had himself. “She’s got that thing about glasses.” Cal laughed, assuming Adrian knew the story he of course did not.

  “Nothing wrong with liking to drink from a glass. I’m at home. Dishes are clean. Why not drink from that instead of the bottle? Set the table, Miles. Cal’s going to stay.”

  “Awesome.” Miles moved to the cabinets and began to gather plates and soup bowls.

  “I’ve got ham, tomato, pickles and mushrooms to go on the sandwiches if anyone wants.”

  Adrian moved to her, wanting to be near. “Here, let me help.”

  The smile she gave him was plenty reward. “All right. How about you assemble and I’ll get them started?”

  “Tell me about yourself, Cal.”

  It was Gillian who spoke though. “Miles likes ham and pickles on his sandwich. With mustard.”

  “Like a Cuban sandwich of sorts.”

  “Yes, exactly. I blame Mary for that too. I’d never had such a marvel until I met her. Now Miles and I are addicted. Not enough to make them pressed the way she does, though.”

  By the time the sandwiches were ready and they’d all sat at the table, Adrian knew Cal Whaley was an attorney, the one his attorneys had been dealing with. He needed to talk with the man one on one, alone, about that stuff later.

  “Do you have a wife or a girlfriend or anything like that?”

  Gillian laughed in her delightful way and then chided Miles to not eat an entire sandwich in one bite.

  “I’m afraid he gets that from me.” Adrian shrugged, looking guiltily down at his own plate.

  “Figures.” But she wasn’t angry. In fact her smile pleased him. It held intimacy and affection. He didn’t feel as suspicious of Cal just at that moment when she looked at him and he knew all her secrets.

  “And yet, so many boys his age don’t know the Heimlich and I worry he’ll choke on half a bag of Cheetos because of it. There’s no food shortage, boy, slow it down.”

  They hung out for a while and after dinner, Miles and Adrian cleaned up while Cal and Gillian moved into the living room.

  “So does Cal have anyone? He didn’t answer my question.” Adrian kept his voice down, nonchalant, as he and Miles loaded the dishwasher. An ancient model that had clearly seen better days.

  “There was Angel; he and Cal lived together for three years. I was bummed when they broke up. I was only seven though. He was a cool guy. Then for a few years there was Callie. She was hot. But they broke up last year. I know he dates. He says he doesn’t want to bring anyone fleeting into my life. They all want to protect me, Mum says.”

  Gay, okay he could deal with that. It meant, well, it didn’t mean shit. Ben, his sister’s other husband, liked men too, and he managed to have both. But hearing the man was careful about who he brought into Miles’s life was a good thing. Almost as good as the way Miles had seemed to make clear Cal and Gillian had nothing romantic going on.

  Not that he should care, but of course he did and he was too damned old to pretend otherwise. He wanted Gillian. And he wanted to slowly work into a situation where they could be openly affectionate in front of Miles. But the two of them wanted to be slow and careful about it. Which wasn’t such a reassuring thing when other people saw Gillian for the wonder she was.

  “Thanks. I just . . . you know want to be sure people around you and your mom are good to you.”

  Miles grinned.

  When they came out, Gillian and Cal were near the front door. “Just in time! Cal’s got to run now.”

  Cal hugged Gillian before kissing her cheek and whispering something into her ear that made her roll her eyes and shake her head.

  “Good night, Calvin.” She said it primly, and it got to Adrian the way it always did.

  Miles hugged Cal, who then ruffled the boy’s hair. “Two weeks until cards and junk food.”

  “Yeah. I’m on it. See you later, Cal.”

  “I forgot something in my car. I’ll be right back. I’ll walk out with you, Cal.” Adrian grabbed his keys and slid into his shoes.

  “I imagine you wanted to talk to me alone.” Cal paused near his car door.

  “Nice car. I nearly bought this model.” Brody joked that one of these days Adrian would have to move to a house on some land so he could have all the cars he really wanted. Looking at the sleek BMW just then, he wondered what land went for on Bainbridge.

  Cal nodded his thanks, waiting for Adrian to speak.

  “You must think I’m a dick.”

  Cal shrugged. “Are you?”

  “Sometimes. My lawyers are when they need to be.”

  “Look, I get it, okay? I know the whole thing about DNA and all that wasn’t personal. But it was to her. She’s special to me. Miles is special to me. You hurt her and she never showed any of it to Miles. You need to understand what you’ve got in both of them. I see how you look at her. She’s not a passing phase. That’s not the world Gillian inhabits.”

  “I know it upset her and I’ve apologized directly. I’m sure she shared that.”

  “You don’t know Gillian at all if you think that. Gillian doesn’t share that sort of detail. If she felt it was personal, she’d keep it to herself. Jules probably knows. They’re tight that way. And of all the group, she’s the one to worry about because she loves Gillian and Miles fiercely.”

  Adrian didn’t really know her. Which he supposed was part of his problem. “You’re right. I assumed she’d share, but upon reflection, that’s not really how she is. It’s just, you’re clearly important to her and to my son and I want to clear the air. Things started off badly. I reacted strongly based on other things having nothing to do with this and ended up causing some hurt.”

  “I imagine being Adrian Brown, international superstar and business mogul, comes with a hell of a lot of people who are after things from you. I’m sure Gillian wasn’t the first woman to claim a child had resulted from some indiscriminant one-night stand.”

  “No.” He shrugged. “Success comes with downsides too. Three years ago a woman came forward with a
baby. Said it was mine. Wanted money, of course. But I’d been in Europe on tour for six months and she’d been here in the States. It turned out fine, but I don’t like being shaken down. But it’d be stupid to complain about all that when I have platinum records on the wall of my home studio and a hundred-and-eighty-degree of view of Puget Sound. I know I started out on the wrong foot with them, but I aim to make it right.”

  “I’m going to give you a tip; Gillian is not Tina. Never in a million years would she be.”

  “You’re going to think I’m a dick again, but I don’t even remember her.”

  “Tina was a broken, fucked-up woman who failed to understand the difference between offering herself up to anyone who’d take her and affection or love.” Cal paused. “Anyway, Gillian won’t say it but I will—her sister was a manipulative whore and Miles is far better off that she never sought to use him the way she could have. Gillian loved her sister and her fucked-up mother more than they deserved.

  “Tina Forrester was a calculating bitch. She died young because she led exactly the kind of life that ends up with you dead at forty. So be glad you don’t remember her.” Cal took a deep breath. “I’ve said more than I should. Gillian is a very private woman. You don’t remember Tina, sure, but Gillian is the kind of woman you’ll never forget.”

  That was the understatement of a lifetime.

  “I appreciate you telling me all this. I love my kid. I don’t know him as well as you do, but I will be a good father.”

  Cal laughed. “Gillian wouldn’t let you anywhere near Miles if you weren’t worthy. He’s crazy about you.”

  11

  Gillian got up early, tiptoeing past the guest room where Adrian had shifted only a few hours before after passing a considerable amount of energetic time in her bed. Her exhaustion reminded her of those first six months with Miles.

  This was a satisfied sort of tired. Adrian had brought a whole new kind of muscle ache into her life. She smiled to herself as she set up at the piano. She had a lesson to give in an hour, so this would be her own time.