This was getting them nowhere. He closed the lid of his laptop and stood. The cat meowed in complaint. “I didn’t bother you,” he told Weasley. Sniffling, he carried his empty mug to the kitchen and took an allergy pill.
The backyard lay shrouded in darkness. No motion-activated lights flipping on tonight. After hardly any sleep last night, he should be exhausted, but in spite of yawning, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to drift off yet.
The floor creaked, and he whipped around to see Alex staring. “Hey, buddy, you should be asleep.”
Alex didn’t respond, so Zach touched his head. The boy was sleepwalking. He’d done it since he was a little guy.
He picked up the boy, who snuggled into the crook of his shoulder as if it were made for him. He wore Star Wars pajamas much like the ones Zach had worn once upon a time. Jack too. They’d had every Star Wars figurine on the market and often traded them back and forth.
Would it be so terrible to get to be a dad to this little guy? He had no one but Shauna, and while she was an excellent mother—the best—every boy needed a dad. It was Zach’s fault Alex didn’t have a dad. Shouldn’t he be the one to make sure someone filled that role?
Everything in him yearned to be a dad to Alex, but it wouldn’t be right, not really. He didn’t deserve it. But maybe he should try to find someone for Shauna, someone who would love Alex too. Zach began to run through the single men he knew, and none of them was up to the high standard he had in mind for Shauna and Alex.
Alex stirred and lifted his head. His eyes were clear now, wide-awake. “Would you lie down with me for a little while, Zachster?”
“Sure thing, little man.” Zach shut off the lights and carried the boy back to his bedroom.
As they passed Shauna’s room, he noticed her light was out. She was probably sound asleep, which was why Alex was able to slip out of his room without her on his tail.
Alex’s room held a queen-size bed with the gray duvet hanging nearly to the floor on one side. Zach straightened it and tucked the boy beneath the covers, then went around to the other side and slid in next to him.
Alex rolled over and threw his arm around Zach’s neck. “Snuggle me!”
Zach obliged and breathed in the scent of little boy. He could get used to this.
Alex yawned and buried his face in Zach’s chest. “Zachster, where do you think Daddy is? Mommy says he’s in heaven, but where is that and what is it like?”
Zach’s eyes burned, and he felt a sharp pain in his chest. He’d often asked himself that very question. He’d believed in God since age eight when Jack took him to church, but since his friend’s death, Zach had found himself asking God how he could do something like this. Jack’s family needed him. Zach needed him.
He swallowed hard. “Your daddy’s in heaven for sure, but we don’t really understand where that is. It’s where God is. That’s really all we know. It’s beautiful and filled with plants, animals, and fruit. The rivers are crystal clear, and your dad has a beautiful mansion somewhere. He’s laughing there and happy. He feels no pain.”
“But doesn’t he miss me and Mommy?” Alex’s voice held a tragic note.
“He probably misses you terribly, but time isn’t like it is here. Your daddy’s been gone a year, but in heaven, he might feel like he just got there. I’m sure he’s watching out for you.”
Alex’s fingers twisted a lock of Zach’s hair. “Do you think he can see me now? Does he know I got an A in reading this week? Does he hear me say my prayers at night?”
Gosh, the kid was asking hard questions. “The Bible says we’re surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, so I think he can see us when God lets him.” Zach pulled him closer and rested his chin on Alex’s thick thatch of auburn hair. “You’ll see him again someday, but for now, you get to help your mommy and your grammy. You get to grow into a man and become the kind of good guy your daddy was.”
He paused, and Alex began to breathe more deeply. A slight snore came from his mouth. Thank the good Lord he was asleep and wasn’t asking more hard questions. He pressed a kiss to the little guy’s damp forehead, then eased out of his tight embrace.
When he tiptoed to the door, he nearly ran into Shauna. He grabbed her by the shoulders. “Sorry, I about knocked you over.”
“I-I heard what you told him.” Her voice was thick with tears. “I’m so sorry for the way I’ve treated you. I was wrong. You’re a good man, Zach. Can you forgive me?”
“I never held it against you. You didn’t say anything I wasn’t already thinking.”
In an instant her arms were around his neck, and he felt the warm touch of her breath before her lips brushed across his cheek.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
She was gone from his arms before he could react, and he sagged against the doorjamb. How could he stop her from creeping into his heart when she did things like that?
Alex hadn’t stopped talking from the moment Zach buckled him in the booster seat and headed for the father/son hike at Freshwater Bay Park, commonly known as the Whale Trail. The rocky cove along the Strait of Juan de Fuca was a popular spot with kids.
He parked in the lot. “We’re here.”
“Yay!” Alex unbuckled his seat belt and grabbed his backpack. “I’ve got cookies Grammy made for a snack.”
Zach grinned at the boy’s excitement. “Your mommy packed us some sandwiches too, and I brought water. And gummy bears.” He grabbed his backpack from the passenger seat and got out of the truck.
Stuart Ransom waved to him from the sign denoting the start of the Whale Trail. “Hey, Zach, I didn’t know you were coming.” Stuart had been the chief for the volunteer fire department for about ten years and also owned a local gym where he was a fitness trainer and looked the part.
Zach shook his hand. “Who are you with?” Stuart wasn’t married and didn’t have any kids. He’d dated Darla for a while, but that hadn’t worked out.
“My nephew. My brother-in-law was called up to active duty and is out of the country. Sis didn’t want Brandon to be left out.”
“Brandon!” Alex rushed past Zach to join another little boy who was blond like his uncle. The two kids knelt to study the pebbles along the beach.
Stuart lifted a brow. “Heard he and his mom were staying with you. What’s she think about your upcoming volcano-surfing trip?”
“I haven’t told her.” And he was wishing he hadn’t told Stuart. “It’s not until next month anyway.”
“She never did like the way you talked Jack into crazy adventures.” Stuart grinned and shook his head. “I thought she was going to pass out when Jack told her he was going skydiving. I thought maybe after he died, you’d lay off the dangerous sports.”
“I like adventure.” And he’d really like to change the subject.
Stuart smirked and nudged Zach. “Good thing you were there at the right time. I’ve asked her out at least three times, but she wasn’t having it. Good luck.”
Zach went cold then hot. He curled his hands into fists. “There’s nothing going on, Stu. She’s been my friend ever since she started dating Jack. My only plan is to keep her and Alex safe. Jack would expect that of me.”
Stuart’s smirk widened. “Whatever you say, buddy.”
Zach started to shoot out a sharp reply, but the teacher called them all to gather together for the start of the hike. Zach took Alex’s hand and gave Stuart a wide berth. He didn’t need to hear anymore insinuations. Was that what the whole town thought? No wonder Shauna had been reluctant. He’d believed people would understand.
He took the list of plants and trees the teacher handed out, then led Alex along the shoreline. A barge and a ferry rolled past on the waves, and several sailboats, mainsails gleaming in the sunshine, added to the scenic view. Alex kept up a steady chatter, and Zach led him up a hillside toward several pockets of plants.
“Hey, Alex, wait up. Brandon wants a buddy to look for the plants with.”
Zach turned at Stuart’s
voice, though he wanted to keep on walking. Brandon ran up to join Alex, and the two of them scampered off with the list of plants clutched in Alex’s hand. “Stay in sight,” Zach called to the boys.
“Look, I realize I was out of line,” Stuart said. “I struck out with her, so I admit I was a little jealous. I hope you won’t hold it against me.”
“No problem.” Zach wanted to hold on to his anger, but it ebbed at Stu’s contrite tone. He stopped and frowned. “I’ve never seen that crack before.” He pointed out a big fissure in the soil near the top of the hill they were climbing.
Stuart stopped and examined it. “We’ve had a ton of small earthquakes lately. Everyone is expecting the big one any day. I don’t scare easily, but I have to admit I’m a little freaked out by all the reporters acting like Armageddon is about to erupt here. The town board even authorized a rooftop shelter on the school in case of a tsunami. They started construction on it last Monday.”
“I hadn’t heard that.” Zach had read the news reports, but it sounded like fearmongering to him.
He took a long, hard look at the fissure again. Maybe he’d better report it.
Chapter 19
With Alex on the hike with Zach, Shauna cleaned the house, then took her laptop out to the back deck with the dogs. She should be spending her time looking for the killer, but she couldn’t squelch her curiosity about Dorothy Edenshaw. Her comment about Brenna was never far from Shauna’s thoughts.
The links that popped up in her search held no surprises. Mostly news articles touting her designs or jewelry blogs mentioning her talent.
Apollo lurched to his feet and growled low in his throat. Artemis did the same, and both dogs leaped off the deck and ran to the west side of the fence. Artemis snarled and leaped up on the fence.
The hair prickled on the back of her neck, and Shauna rose. “Is anyone there?”
When no one answered, she grabbed her laptop and ran for the house, her heart pounding by the time she shut the back door. The dogs could scare off whoever was out there. It might be that same guy who’d lured Zach out on Monday night. She snatched up her phone from the counter and called the sheriff. When he didn’t answer, she left a message asking him to send someone by to check on things.
She paced the floor for several minutes. What should she do? She could get in her truck and leave, but she hated to feel like a coward. She could call Zach, but she didn’t want to interrupt Alex’s fun. They should be home within the hour anyway.
She found her purse and reached inside to feel around for her can of bear spray. As soon as her fingers closed around the metal, she gained a bit of courage. Shauna carried it with her and made the rounds through the house. There was no evidence of anyone trying to sneak in a window or the front door.
She went back to the kitchen and peeked through the window into the backyard. The dogs were sleeping on the deck again, so whoever was out there was gone now. She exhaled and sank onto a bar stool. Her relief was short-lived, the sound of the garage door opening had her on alert again. She rose and faced the door into the garage with her finger on the nozzle of the bear spray.
Alex’s giggle in the garage was the sweetest sound she’d heard all day. She quickly dropped the bear spray back into her purse and pasted on a welcoming smile. The dogs began to paw at the back door so she went to let them in. Nails clicking on the wood floor, they raced to greet Alex and Zach as they entered from the garage.
Alex threw his arms around Apollo’s neck. “Mommy, we had the best time! Me and Zachster found the most plants and trees, and I won a book about the forest.”
“That’s great, honey. I’m so proud of you!” As soon as he let go of the dog, she hugged him. “Ooh, you smell like a fish, and you’re a little muddy. Let me run you a bath.”
“I want to take a shower like Zachster. I’m too big to be a baby and take a bath.” He puffed out his chest. “When I grow up, I’m going to go on adventures like him too. He’s going volcano surfing next month!” He pulled away and headed for the hall. “Can I have a cookie when I’m done showering?”
Volcano surfing. Adventures. Her gaze collided with Zach’s. Her chest compressed until she couldn’t breathe. “Sure.”
Zach held up a hand. “Look, I didn’t tell him anything about it. He must have heard Stuart grilling me about it.”
“Volcano surfing. Really? You get Jack killed, and now you want to take out his son as well?” Aware that she was nearly shouting, she tried to temper her tone, but holding in her rage made the pressure in her chest build. “Doing this kind of thing is crazy, Zach!”
Patches of mud had spattered his jeans and sneakers, and his eyes were tired. “It’s just sliding down cinder on a hillside, Shauna. It’s not as dangerous as it sounds. I can sit down like on a sled if I want. I don’t have to stand like on a snowboard or surfboard.”
She lifted a brow and clenched her hands into fists. “Really? And where are you going to do this?”
“Nicaragua. Cerro Negro.”
“That’s a live volcano! There are poisonous gases, and it might even erupt!”
“I’ll be wearing protective gear.” His eyes grew wider as if he were trying to figure out a way to deflect her anger, and he held his hands out in a protective stance.
She put her hands on her hips and glared at him with every bit of disdain she could muster. “For a little while there, I thought you’d changed, but you haven’t. Not really.” She turned on her heel and ran for her room.
Music blared from the jukebox in Harvey’s Pier, and Zach winced. The place was packed tonight, and he didn’t see a single open booth or table. He was in no mood to go home after Shauna’s tirade. All he wanted was to forget everything for a few hours.
He started to leave to head to another place down the road when he caught a glimpse of Valerie sitting at a corner booth. She saw him at the same time and waved him over.
He slid into the booth across from her. “Hope you don’t mind me crashing your party. Where’s Richard? Harvesting apples?” This time of year her husband worked long hours. Valerie was used to doing things on her own, and Richard never seemed to mind.
“It’s no party, believe me.” Valerie ran her finger around the top rim of her glass of iced tea. “I’m here drowning our sorrows. I don’t even want to talk to Richard tonight.” Her usually serene blue eyes were stormy.
He’d rather focus on someone else’s troubles than his own. “What’s going on?”
“We’re being investigated.” She gave him a quick look, then went back to studying the iced tea. “This is between you and me, okay? Richard knew azinphos-methyl had been phased out and banned, but he thought the allowed pesticides didn’t work as well so he went back to using it. And he’s been acting funny—all secretive and weird. He told me he’s got it covered, and no one is going to find out, but I doubt that’s true. The EPA tests for these things, you know?”
“Yeah, this could be bad.” The algae bloom in Clarence’s picture wasn’t far from their apple orchard. Could the pesticide be the cause? It wasn’t for him to run down, though. Valerie wasn’t one to sit back and let the ship sink. She’d handle it.
She took a sip of her tea. “Why are you here and so down in the mouth? I thought you’d be home playing house with Shauna.”
Her words were like nails on a chalkboard. Did everyone in the world think he had only invited her to stay with him in order to woo her?
Valerie must have seen his ire surge because she held up her hand. “I know that look. I’m not insinuating you’re sleeping with her or anything. You look upset, and I was just trying to help.”
The server, a brunette in her late teens, popped over to take his order. He paused to ask her to bring a root beer and fish tacos. The pause gave him a chance to cool off.
Valerie tipped her head to one side as soon as the server left them alone. “Well?”
“Shauna heard about the volcano-surfing trip. I thought the top of her head was going to blow off.” r />
Valerie smiled and leaned back. “I knew she’d rein you in.”
“Sheesh, Valerie, I’m not a horse. I have every right to have some adventure in life. Just because you like to play it safe doesn’t mean I have to. And the same thing goes for Shauna. She’s just a friend, that’s it! She had the gall to ask me if I was trying to lure Alex into an adventure that would lead to his death too.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him.”
Her smile faded, and her eyes went somber. “Alex doesn’t have a male role model, Zach. He’s got his mom and his grandma. And now you. If he sees you modeling risky behavior, he’ll think that’s what a real man does.”
“Sometimes it is,” he shot back. “Men like to do all kinds of things. There are plenty of dads who played football in school, but their boys don’t do it. You’re both reading way too much into this.”
“I might have agreed with you once, but you’ve changed since Jack’s death.”
“Here we go again,” he muttered. “All right, so I like extreme sports. It’s not a crime.” In spite of his protest he shifted uneasily. Maybe she was right. It was a miracle of God’s grace that he had all his limbs.
Was he trying to punish himself? He would have said no just last week, but Valerie had given him plenty of food for thought. And he would never want to do anything to coax Alex into trying anything risky. Zach would have to think about it.
Chapter 20
Alex kept up a steady stream of dialogue from the backseat on the way to the church Sunday afternoon. Shauna couldn’t have talked to Zach if her life depended on it. She’d been too rattled by everything last night. How could he continue to do such crazy things when Jack had died because of his love for adrenaline? She had kept to her room until time to leave for the funeral so she wouldn’t have to talk to him.