Jess, is there a difference between lust and love? If so, please explain. Also, is it proper for a proper woman to experience lust?
She went on to tell her sister what she knew about Nate's past and the feelings she had for him. She filled the last two pages with information about her position as town doctor and a few current events. She began with the scandals plaguing the lame-duck administration of President Grant, then turned to news a bit closer to her heart.
The Democratic governments in the Redemption South have all but gotten rid of their black office holders and continue to laugh at the Fourteenth and Fifteenth Amendments. Washington seems to be laughing with them. Their "let alone policy" has resulted in mass killings and disenfranchisement. The Kluxers and White Leagues feel so free from reprisal, they are now conducting their killings unmasked and in broad daylight. The Chicago Tribune has written, "The long controversy over the black man seems to have reached a finality." The Nation is declaring that The Negro will disappear from the field of national politics. Henceforth, the nation, as a nation, will have nothing more to do with him. Times are harsh everywhere for our race. With all the evil loose in the South, there is talk of a mass migration to Kansas in some of the Black newspapers and broadsides. I will keep you informed of any further discussion on this subject.
Vivid then sent her love to her brother-in-law and hoped he was finding his missionary work fulfilling. She closed by writing,
Much love to you, my dear sister. May the fates bring us together soon.
Vivid signed the letter "La Brat Trabrasera."
She stood up from the chair and stretched. It was late.
She went into her small bedroom and prepared for bed. After donning one of the light, cotton nightgowns she'd purchased in Detroit, she sat on the bed and brushed her thick ebony hair into one long plait. Barefoot, she padded back out to the front to secure the bolt on the door and stopped, stunned, upon seeing Nate Grayson sitting grim-faced at her desk.
"Where'd you come from?" she asked. Surely she hadn't been so engrossed in thought that she hadn't heard him at the door? His sudden appearance reminded her of the day Majestic had mysteriously disappeared. One minute Magic had been in the room and the next moment she was gone. In this case her father seemed to have appeared right out of thin air. "Is something the matter?"
"We need to talk," he stated.
She sat in one of the overstuffed chairs and waited. She'd no idea what he'd come to say, but by his face it appeared to be fairly serious. He held her gaze. "We've never discussed this attraction that's developed."
Vivid looked away, then quietly replied, "No, we haven't."
He told her softly, "I believe it's time we did."
She nodded.
"It's a foregone conclusion I'm courting you."
His statement surprised her a bit because she'd never considered their encounters in such formal terms. She'd accepted his kisses, yes, and in places that still astounded her, but Nate Grayson courting her? "Is that what this is, courtship?"
"Do you have a better name, or explanation?" he asked.
"I don't know. The...encounters...everything seemed so...spontaneous. I never saw them as being part of a formal courting. I...they've just been...occurring."
He chuckled at how flustered she became trying to explain their relationship. “Have you ever done this 'occurring' with other men?''
"Of course not," she hissed, slightly outraged.
He smiled. "I knew that, put away your scalpel. I asked because you're not a whore down at Maddie's, Viveca. If this is going to continue, you're going to have to think over some things."
"Such as?"
"Frankly, are you prepared to take on a husband?"
"A husband? When will I need a husband?"
"Probably the very next time you and I are on that swing together."
She went still.
"Or," he continued, looking over at her with a simmering heat in his eyes, "the next time we're alone in the barn—or in the buggy. Take your pick of a thousand places, Viveca."
The burning intensity of his gaze made her feel as if she'd suddenly caught fire. She drew in a calming breath.
"This is a small community," he went on. "Sooner or later something will be seen, or heard, and then the gossip will begin, and it will undoubtedly be my fault because I can't seem to keep my hands off you..."
His tone was so hushed and heated, Vivid shuddered in response.
"I don't want to ruin you or your reputation."
Vivid didn't know what to think or say. He was right; if they continued on this course, sooner or later the fiddler would have to be paid. She'd have not a shred of reputation left if either of the scenarios he described came to pass. "So do you have a suggestion?"
“We could let the situation cool down a bit, and see if it will burn itself out. You've stated your position on marriage."
"Yes, I have. The logical thing to do would be to let things cool down as you said. Who knows, maybe it will simply go away."
"Uh-huh."
She looked over at him and wondered why he was smiling.
"Well, Lancaster," he said, stretching his arms and yawning, "for the first time in, oh, ten years, I'm going to embark upon something totally illogical."
His sudden change of mood made her wary. "Meaning?"
"Meaning I'm not going to let things cool down, because I don't want them to. I'm going to pursue you, Viveca Lancaster, in ways you've never been pursued before."
Vivid blinked. "Why?"
He smiled a knowing smile.
Vivid swallowed. "Nate, I admit I enjoy your kisses, and until I met you I never knew a woman could have so much fun taking off her clothes—'' Vivid could not believe the words that had just come out of her mouth. He had her so confused she had to fight to regain her train of thought. "What was I saying?"
"How much fun you had taking off your clothes."
She cut him a look. "No, before that."
"How much you enjoyed my kisses."
"Stop it," she warned, trying to hide her smile.
"Just trying to help," he said reasonably.
"I was saying..." She couldn't remember, so instead she asked, “Why in the world do you wish to court me, and don't give me that pleased male smile again."
"Because each and every time I'm around you, Viveca, the only thing I want to do is take you somewhere and make love to you until they hear you screaming in Kalamazoo. Is that frank enough for you?''
She swayed, slightly dizzy from his confession.
"Now you may say you don't want to be courted but your lips say different, so circle your wagons, Princess Hannibal, the battles lines have been drawn."
Part of her was ecstatic at his revelation, but the other part, the part that had studied and spent many nights burning oil in order to become a physician, balked at the idea of her two desires being able to coexist harmoniously.
But even as she stood there, her lips were already anticipating his kisses and her nipples were tightening and raising their shameless little heads. Her body's traitorous reactions were responding to his devilish smile.
Slowly he walked over to her, his eyes devouring her. Her blood began to pound fast.
"I know you didn't come here to be courted," he said. He took her hand and urged her to her feet.
"No, I didn't."
"But fate sometimes changes life around. I vowed to never risk my heart again, but for you..."
He reached out and gently traced a crescent on her cheek. "Could it be because of the kisses we've been sharing?" The velvet finger moved to outline her lips, making her tremble. "Or maybe it's because of all that screaming you were doing last evening. What do you think?"
Once again memories burned her cheeks. She looked up into his handsome face and asked, “Have you always been so seductive?"
"Not lately, no, and I'm way out of practice..."
Vivid's eyes slid shut from the intensity. Out of practice? What would he be like w
hen he regained his former self—more importantly, where in the world would she find the means to resist? "I need time to think about all this."
"I'll give you time and I'll go slow. However, I mean to have you, Lancaster, and whenever I find you alone I'm going to do my best to help you make up your mind."
Nate had already decided she would be worth the chase, and he also knew she would lead him on a merry one. He found the anticipation thrilling.
"What does that mean, exactly?" Vivid wanted to know.
"Exactly this..."
He bent his head and brushed his lips across hers, and Vivid didn't even try to resist. She wanted his kisses.
He kissed her softly at first, the tender flick of his tongue against her parted lips. His palms began sliding up her back, mapping the structure of her shoulders and spine beneath the thin cotton gown. It was selfish, really, this slow tutoring, because it enabled him to savor the tastes, scents, and feel of her at a lazy pace and to show her how very serious he meant to be about this campaign.
He slid his lips up to her ear and nibbled his way down the edge of her throat. "I mean to have you, Viveca, be it today...tomorrow...or...a year from now. You are mine..." she heard him rasp heatedly. And she was his, Vivid admitted to herself. Why hadn't her professors told her about this passion? She'd learned nothing about the way her nipples would blossom when his fingers played them gently, or how her senses would bloom. When he dropped his head and brushed his lips across her breasts, she moaned softly, and she caressed the back of his neck. Her medical books claimed women did not enjoy this thick heady heat. The books were wrong.
Nate wanted her in all the ways a man could want a woman, but because he'd pledged to proceed slowly in this, he settled for stealing kisses and undoing the ribbons on the yoke of her gown. Her breasts were beautiful, rich, dark, and so responsive. Filling his hands, he flicked his tongue over one pebbled treasure and then the other. He thrilled hearing the low moan slide from her throat as he suckled her.
Eyes closed, Vivid arched her back, assaulted by dazzling waves of sensations, her dilemmas forgotten. His hand wandered over her, setting off a glowing warmth with a plea all its own. He answered the call by slowly raising her gown and sliding his hands possessively over her bare hips.
He raised his head and stared into her eyes, his slow explorations below her gown continuing, melting her like ice on a summer's day. She keened for him, crooned, and all the while he held her gaze, watching the passion play across her beautiful face.
"Do you still not want to be courted?" he inquired. He was as hard as railroad iron.
"I didn't come here to be courted, no," Vivid whispered through the haze of desire. She could feel the storm gathering in response to his exquisite explorations.
Nate, unable to resist the parted bliss of her mouth, kissed her sweetly, saying, "Such evasive little daisy-eyes..."
He increased the intensity of his touch until lightning flashed behind her eyes and the thunder of the little death echoed through her long and loud.
While she spun in the vortex of the afterglow, he picked her up, carried her back to the bedroom, and seated her gently atop her bed.
Still reeling and throbbing, Vivid looked up into his amused features and remarked, "You don't plan on making this easy for me, do you?"
He smiled. "No."
Chapter 15
On Monday morning, Miss Edna, who served as the Grove's postmistress, brought the mail to Nate's office. Nate flipped through the small stack and was about to set it aside for reading later when one letter with the word urgent penned across the bottom caught his eye. He opened it to find a small sheet of paper which said: Majestic in danger. Miss Satin and I arriving soon. Please prepare accommodations. Holly Rand. The writing appeared scrawled, as if it had been penned in a haste.
He went still, then read the words again. He turned the penned warning over to see if there might be anything else written that would provide a clue to its meaning or sender. Nothing. He read the words again, but knew no more than he had the first time. What kind of danger? And who were Miss Satin and Holly Rand?
Nate strode into the office of the Grayson Gazette. He tossed the mysterious note atop Eli's desk and waited for his cousin to read it. Eli's face went grim. "Is this someone's idea of humor?" Eli asked, turning it over in his hand just as Nate had done.
"I've no idea, but I don't find it funny. It came with the morning post."
"And you've no idea who this Holly person is?"
Nate shook his head.
"Miss Satin sounds like the name of a cathouse queen. The handwriting doesn't look familiar, which means we can just about eliminate anyone local."
"I have a real bad feeling about this, Eli."
"So do I. I wish we knew more about Magic's mother."
"I wish we knew anything about her," Nate said.
"Well, you and I may have our differences, but we're united on this one. Anyone threatening Majestic will have to deal with us first."
Nate nodded. "Thanks, cousin. I'm going to let Abigail, the Crowleys, and a few others in on this so they can keep their eyes open. Dammit, I almost forgot about the convention in Indianapolis in three days. I'll have to miss it. I can't leave Majestic here unprotected."
"That meeting is important, Nate."
"I know, but Majestic is my life. If anything happens to her while I'm gone—"
"I'll take care of things until you return. Go to Indianapolis."
They eyed each other.
Eli said softly, "I failed the last time, I know. I'm older now, Nate. This isn't Cecile we're talking about, it's Magic, and I love her very much. Go to the convention. I'll keep her safe, or die trying."
Nate looked into Eli's eyes and saw, for the first time, not the sixteen-year-old youth who'd committed the ultimate betrayal, but the man Eli had become. When had it happened? When had he grown up? Had Nate's inner pain really been so blinding, he hadn't notice the passing years? Nate observed his cousin a moment longer, then nodded his acceptance of Eli's offer. "You should move back into the house."
Eli stared. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Nate and Eli spent a few more moments discussing details before Nate crossed the dirt street back to his office. He wondered what kind of threat would Magic be facing. He had no answer, and because he didn't, the father in him was terrified.
After dinner, Nate took Abigail and Vivid into his study and let them see the note. Vivid felt a frisson of fear course through her as she handed the note back to Nate.
Nate asked, "Do you think I should tell her?"
Abigail spoke first, "I believe you should. She's not going to be happy being confined to the house without being told why."
Vivid agreed. "If it were me, I'd want to know. It would probably scare me, but it would make me more careful when I went out."
Nate called Majestic into the study.
"What's the matter, Pa?" Magic looked at Abigail and Vivid, then wanted to know, "Am I in trouble?"
Nate smiled. "No, sweetheart, you're not."
She seemed to relax.
Nate thought it best he get to the heart of the matter. "Majestic, I received a note in the post today, saying you're in danger."
She stared at her father for a long moment, then asked softly, "What type of danger?"
"We don't know."
"That's kind of scary, Pa."
"I know it is, sweetheart, it scared all of us."
Magic swung her head around to Abigail and then to Vivid. Both women nodded.
"So what do we do?" she asked.
“All we can do for now is be especially careful until we find out what the note means."
"Will I have to stay indoors?"
"No, but I do want you to stay out of the woods, and no fishing."
"No fishing?"
"Or rabbit trapping, or frog catching."
"But—"
“Majestic, your safety is the most important thing in the world t
o us."
"Can't I even play over at Mr. Crowley's or Mad-die's? Maddie's dogs wouldn't let anything happen to me, and neither would Mr. Crowley."
Abigail said, "She has a point, Nate."
Vivid had never met Maddie or her dogs, but knew Mr. Crowley and his giant sons would put holy fear in anyone attempting to do Magic harm.
"Pa, I'll be real, real careful. I promise."
Nate looked into her topaz eyes and knew his heart would shatter if anything should happen, but as Abigail pointed out, neither Maddie nor Adam would let her come to harm. "Okay, Majestic, you can go to Adam's and Maddie's only. You come home for lunch and never ever leave the house without letting someone in the house know where you will be. Agreed?"
Magic smiled. "Agreed."
Eli moved into the house the next morning, much to everyone's delight.
The day after, Nate very reluctantly left for Indianapolis.
Vivid spent the day at the church overseeing the weekly children's clinic. She missed him already, but the children made the day enjoyable. That evening when she and Michigan turned into the long tree-lined track that separated the Grayson house from her own, she was surprised by all the activity in the yard. Wagons were lined up as if church were being held. Men, many she didn't recognize, were swarming over the place like ants, carrying wood to and from a spot across the yard where a bunch of sawhorses had been erected. Men were on the roof of her cabin while others were on the ground hammering nails into the skeletal wood frame. She tied up Michigan and walked the rest of the way. Many of the men stopped what they were doing as she approached. Those wearing hats tipped them politely in her direction while others nodded their greetings. She met each man's smile with one in return while she wondered why all these men were gathered in the yard.
Finally, Mr. Crowley excused himself from a circle of men and yelled to her over the noise of the hammering and sawing. "Evening, Dr. Lancaster."
"Good evening, Mr. Crowley. What is all this?"
"We're building an addition onto your place."
"What?"
"We're building you an addition onto your place," he repeated.
Vivid shook her head. She'd understood his words the first time. "Why?"