fingers out of me, and I nearly cried at the void. "I want to feel you come on me," he said, then replaced his fingers with the warmth of his mouth. He entered me with his tongue, his hands on my ass, pulling me into him, and I came hard against him.
He stayed like that for a while, until I came down from my orgasm and pulled his head away from between my legs. He looked at me, his expression clouded with lust, and stood up, pulling me into him. I could feel his erection against me through his jeans, and I felt a surge of desire for him.
He kissed me, full on the mouth, and I could taste myself on his lips. It was something I'd never let anyone do before, kiss me after going down on me, but with Elias, I had this strange desire to do whatever he wanted to do. Everything he did, every way he touched me, was sexy.
He grazed my neck with his lips, hands roaming over my body, across my breasts. I fumbled with the zipper on his pants. I wanted them off. I wanted to see him naked in front of me. I yanked hard at the sides, sliding them down his legs, and I bend down to pull them off of him.
Elias held my arms, trying to pull me up. "Don't," he said, but I pushed his hands away.
I gripped his thighs with my hands, my eyes lingering on his prosthetic, and when I looked up at him, he stepped back.
"What?" I rose to my feet, confused. "What's wrong?"
Elias shook his head. "Nothing," he said. "I just - "
I pressed my body against his, wrapped my hand around the base of his cock. "For a guy who's so goddamned cocky, you get awful self-conscious about stuff," I said, my hand running up his length.
He groaned, a guttural sound from deep in his throat. "Keep doing that and I won't be." He kissed me as I stroked him, the whole time thinking about how I'd rather have his cock between my legs than in my hand.
I ran my lips over his chest, watching his head tilt back as I did it. Then I dropped to my knees in front of him, running my tongue along his length, taking him in my mouth, tasting him. I brought him to the brink, until he grasped my hair, warned me.
"River, I'm going to come," he said.
I pulled him into my mouth deeper, looked up at him.
"Shit," he said, gripping my hair. I sucked him harder, and he thrust inside me, growling my name when he came.
As soon as she'd finished me, I could tell she was worked up again. I brought her to orgasm again, this time with my hand, and even though she whimpered just before she came on my fingers, asking for my cock, I refrained. I wanted nothing more than to fuck her senseless, fill her to the hilt with my cock and feel her come around me.
But I was trying to fucking show some restraint. Not just because the last thing on earth I fucking needed right now was to get some girl knocked up. It's just that there was something about her, something vulnerable, that made me feel protective and shit. She put off this casual attitude, like shit didn't get under her skin, but she was running from that shitbag boyfriend of hers.
She had to be on the rebound.
I didn't like the fucking idea of taking advantage of that shit. At least not until she was thinking clearly.
She kissed me lightly on the lips. "Join me in bed," she whispered.
I kissed her on the forehead. "I'll be back in a second," I said, turning to dig in my bag for a toothbrush. "Just need to hit the head."
River stretched out on the bed on her stomach, her ass in the air, and I had to turn away, the image of me taking her from behind, sliding my cock inside her, too vivid in my mind's eye.
"The head?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at me.
"The bathroom," I said. "Navy term."
"Ah."
When I came out of the bathroom, River was still in the same position, her hair all mussed, spiked every which way. Because of me, running my hands through it, grabbing it.
The image of her on her knees flashed in my mind.
"Do you take your prosthetic off when you sleep?" she asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Are you going to take it off?" she asked.
"Why?" I felt immediately like she was scrutinizing me, even though she wasn't looking at me, her head resting on her arms, facing the opposite direction. She rolled onto her side and propped herself up on her elbow.
"Because I want you to feel comfortable," she said. "And I thought since you just had your fingers in my pussy that you might feel comfortable taking your prosthetic off in front of me."
"Fuck," I said. "I never thought I'd hear that word coming out of the mouth of the girl who does movies like My First Love."
"Pussy?" she asked. "I could have said cunt. Would that have been better?"
"Shit." I laughed.
"Did I make you blush? Are you blushing?"
"Fuck, no," I said. "I'm laughing at you. You're direct, I'll give you that."
"Well, take it off and get in bed with me," she said. "How's that for direct?"
I sat on the side of the bed and rolled down the sock that covered the outside of the device. I could feel her eyes on me.
"Hey, I thought you said you hadn't watched any of my movies?"
I sighed as I pressed the pin at the bottom of the prosthetic and pulled it off. "You caught me," I said.
"You're a secret River Andrews fan?" she asked. "I could see that." She moved over and rolled onto her side, her head propped up on her arm, watching me.
I rolled the inside sock and liner off and slid into bed next to her, lying on my side, facing her. "I'm becoming more of a River Andrews fan now," I said, reaching between her legs.
She laughed and smacked my hand away. "You're incorrigible."
"Big word. Don't know what it means," I lied, grinning. "If it means hard, then yeah, I am." I held her palm against my cock.
Her hand traveled down the length of my cock, cupped my balls. "You're not disappointed we didn't have sex?"
"Fuck yeah, I'm disappointed," I said. "I'm going to the store first thing tomorrow and buying the largest fucking size box of condoms they have. Fuck it. I'm going to buy what they have in stock. Then I'm coming here, and I'm going to stick my cock so many times you're not going to be able to walk for a week."
River laughed. "Is that a promise?"
I kissed her slowly, catching her lower lip in between my teeth and gently pulling on it as I slipped a finger inside her. Then I let her lip go. "That's a fucking promise."
She was quiet for a minute, her focus entirely consumed by what my hand was doing between her legs and by what she was doing with my cock. "Wait. So you watched my movies this afternoon or what?" she asked, her voice dropping in volume and becoming breathier as I fingered her.
"I looked you up on the internet on my phone after I left here," I admitted. She paused, mid-stroke.
"And?" she asked. "Did you find out all my secrets?" Her tone was light, but the way that she looked at me wasn't.
"Nah," I said. "Secrets should be left alone, don't you think? I just wanted to see what movies you were in so I didn't feel like such an idiot for not knowing who you were."
She looked at me for a long moment, and then leaned close to me, kissing me on the lips. It was soft, tender this time. "You're a good man, Elias," she said.
I didn't answer her, didn't explain to her that I was one of the Saint brothers, that in the eyes of the residents of West Bend we were definitely not good men. I knew what it was like to have secrets you didn't want to reveal.
I just let her keep doing what she was doing with her hand on my cock, while I brought her to orgasm again. Afterward, she slid down my body, took me in her mouth, her hands on my thighs.
Later, she lay with her head on my chest and I stroked her hair absently, looking at one of the pictures on the wall, this black and white photograph of the mountains outside of town, an area I recognized from years ago. I could hear her breath, slow and deep, but every so often I felt her eyelashes brush against my skin, so I knew she wasn't sleeping. All the same, she was quiet, and seemed content enough just lying here.
I felt content enough too, which was a weird fucking feeling for me.
"I haven't done anything like this since- oh hell, I can't remember how long it's been," River said, finally breaking the silence
"Like what?" I asked, half-listening.
"Fooling around like this but not having sex."
I ran my hand up and down the middle of her back. "So?" I asked. "How is it, not having sex?"
She chuckled. "Pretty good," she said. "Of course, I've been going without for a while now."
"What do you mean?" I asked. "You had a fiancé." I didn't want to fucking talk about her fiancé, and I found myself being the one to bring him up. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing, probing into River's past.
"Yeah," she said. "We hadn't exactly been having sex. Not for a while."
"Oh," I said. I didn't know why the fuck I felt so pleased to hear her say that. It's not like her sex life was any of my business. I just didn't like the idea of some other guy touching her. I felt strangely territorial about her. It wasn't like me. "Me either."
"You either what?"
I exhaled loudly. "Sex. I haven't sex either - not in a long time," I said, intending to leave it at that. But my fucking mouth just kept talking, as if of its own accord. "Not since the explosion."
I didn't know what the fuck my problem was - I wasn't self-conscious about the prosthetic when it came to anything else. Everything else in my routine was back to normal.
Except when it came to women. I hadn't let anyone get that close to me.
I didn't feel like trying to explain that bullshit to her. I didn't think I understood it myself.
River didn't move, but I felt her palm, warm on my chest. "I'm glad it's you, you know," she said.
I didn't ask what she meant, just pulled her tighter against me and closed my eyes.
The early morning sunlight streamed through the windows, illuminating everything inside in its cool glow. I ran my fingers lightly across Elias' chest, watching it rise and fall as he breathed in deeply, dead to the world. I glanced over at the clock on the desk - seven in the morning. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been awake this early when I hadn't pulled an all-nighter partying or touring with Viper's band a couple years ago.
I slipped out of bed and padded quietly across the floor to the bathroom, trying to be as silent as I could when I ran the water to brush my teeth. When I came out, Elias was awake. "Sorry," I said, suddenly feeling self-conscious, standing there naked in front of him. "I tried to be quiet. I didn't mean to wake you."
"It's all right," he said. "I usually don't sleep this much at all, actually." I watched him slip on his leg and stand up, hearing it click into place. He walked by me to the bathroom, his cock hard, and slapped me lightly on the ass as he passed me. "But seeing you naked is waking me up now."
When he came out of the bathroom, he took off his prosthetic again and laid down beside me on the bed, pulling my head against his chest. He didn't say anything, but I could hear his heart beating, rapid, underneath my ear.
"How did you lose it?" I asked.
"IED - Improvised Explosive Device," he said. "I'm - I was - EOD." He paused, looked at me before explaining. "Explosive ordnance disposal. We clear bombs. Cleared, I mean. I used to clear bombs. Obviously, I cleared one with my leg. That's not how you're supposed to do it." He laughed, then cleared his throat. "Sorry. Gallows humor."
I rolled over onto my side, rested my hand lightly against his chest. "Where were you deployed?"
"Afghanistan," he said.
"You're not in the EOD anymore?" I asked. For someone who wasn't in the military, he sure had a military look about him. I'd thought that when I first saw him, with the buzzed haircut and the tattoos and his general demeanor.
He shook his head. "Medically retired," he said. His words had a tinge of disgust.
"You don't want to be retired?" I asked.
"Hell no," he said. "I could do my job just fine with the leg. I wanted to deploy again."
"So what happened?"
Elias rolled his eyes. "Retired because of PTSD, which is bullshit," he said.
"Because you don't have it?"
"Hell no, I don't," he said. "That’s just what they called it. Got medically retired instead of getting administratively discharged for a repeated pattern of insubordination.” He emphasized the last phrase and rolled his eyes, but continued talking. “I was on limited duty because of my leg. Couldn’t fucking deal with all the bullshit paper pushers I got assigned to. Fucking caused more problems than when I was in EOD. Ended up getting into it with my lieutenant, this douchebag who’d never deployed, gone outside the wire ever.”
“Outside the wire?”
“So you've got a base or a camp when you’re deployed, right?” he asked. “The perimeter is the wire. Fobbits like him, they stay inside the wire during deployment. Don’t fucking understand how the real world operates.”
“You got kicked out because you got into it with your lieutenant?” I asked. “That seems like a pretty harsh response.”
Elias shrugged. “I guess it was a little more than just getting into it. I punched him in the face. Went to captain’s mast for it.” He must have seen the confused look on my face, because he elaborated. “That’s when you have to go up to see the old man - the commanding officer- he decides your punishment, knocks you down in rank and that kind of shit.”
“So he kicked you out,” I said.
Elias shook his head. “No,” he said. “That has to go through a legal process. He knocked me down in rank and I had to forfeit my pay, but I wasn’t charged with assault. I should have been, but they cut me some slack or whatever. Captain said he thought I needed to see a shrink or something.”
“Did it help?” I asked.
"I’m not broken,” he said. “Just cause I lost my leg doesn’t mean I can’t take care of my own shit.”
"Obviously," I said. It came out more sarcastic sounding than I intended.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I shrugged. “Nothing," I said. "You just seem like the kind of guy who doesn't rely on anyone."
He narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything. I deliberately left out what I was going to say, which was that anger management didn't seem like the worst idea in the world for someone who got so easily irritated.
"It's not really my thing, relying on people," he said.
"No kidding."
He was quiet for a while, but I could see the gears turning in his head. "I do get irritable," he said. "In the parking lot of the store, I didn't mean to jump your shit for looking at my leg."
"No worries," I said. "I figure it's a sore spot."
"It's not, though," he said. "Not really. Doesn't bother me, I mean. I'm luckier than a lot of other guys. It's just a leg, anyway. I'm fucking bionic and shit now."
I trailed my hand down his trim abdomen, then lower, watching his cock respond to my touch. "You might as well be bionic here, too," I said, my attempt to lighten the mood.
He grinned, making the sides of his blue eyes crinkle. I didn't know what exactly he was carrying with him, but it looked like the weight of the world on his shoulders- until he smiled. Then it was like everything melted away.
"You want me to show you bionic?" he asked, his voice low. I wrapped my hand around the base of his cock, felt it harden at my touch.
"Is that a promise?" I asked. I ran my hand lightly up his cock and down again, rubbed my thumb over the bead of pre-cum already glistening on the head.
"Come here and I'll show you," he said. He pulled me against him, his hardness pressing against me, and kissed me. When he