“What does she expect?” Jeb cried, angry at his sister. He didn’t understand why she kept turning down Dennis’s proposals.
“She’s taking it pretty hard.”
That made no sense to Jeb, either, seeing that she had the power to change the situation with one word. Dennis loved her, and Sarah knew it.
“I found her sitting in the dark last night. Must’ve been around three in the morning. I asked her what she was doing up and she told me she hadn’t gone to bed yet.”
Poor Sarah. Jeb wished he knew what the hell was wrong.
“Who’s Dennis seeing?” he asked.
“Dennis…” His father cleared his throat, the color rising in his face. “Dennis is seeing, uh, Maddy Washburn.”
Eleven
Maddy had been looking forward to her mother’s visit for weeks. They’d always been close, even though their personalities were very alike. Cynthia Washburn was as outgoing and friendly as her daughter and tended to say what she thought without qualms. Maddy liked to think she’d gained a little more discretion than her mother, but Lindsay would be quick to tell her that was debatable.
Maddy and her mother spent Christmas morning together, then joined Hassie Knight for dinner. The day had been quiet and restful.
While her mother readied for bed, Maddy sat in front of the fireplace, staring into the flames, her flannel gown covering her bent knees, her chin resting there. She still needed to tell her mother about the pregnancy and she didn’t know how. It wasn’t like she could announce it with a lot of fanfare.
“I can always tell when there’s something on your mind,” her mother said, choosing the chair closest to the fireplace. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
Maddy continued staring into the small fire. She’d delayed long enough. She’d planned to divulge the pregnancy as soon as her mother arrived, then discovered she couldn’t.
“Is it Buffalo Valley? Are you sorry you made such a drastic move?” Cynthia prodded.
“Oh, no! I really do love it here. I know it sounds crazy but I feel like I had to move all this way to find my home.”
She hadn’t intended to be so blunt and saw the hurt flash into her mother’s eyes.
“No, Mom, that’s not what I meant. It’s got nothing to do with how I feel about you and Daddy—even though I’m still really mad at him.” True, her childhood sense of home had been destroyed by the divorce. It still seemed impossible that her father could have married a woman only a little older than Maddy. But there was more to it than that. She’d discovered home also meant a community you could belong to, be part of. “I think I’m a small-town girl at heart,” she said lightly.
“I can see you’re having a lot of fun with the store,” her mother said, apparently mollified.
Maddy felt the changes she’d made in her life were the right ones. Although she put in long hours at the store, she still spent less time working than she had as a social worker. And that had been a job she could never escape, even in sleep; her cases, especially the children, regularly invaded her dreams. That happened less and less now.
“You seem to be doing good business.”
“I am. Profits are almost half again what I was led to expect.” The Hansens had tried to make the venture look financially sound, but even a cursory study of the numbers had revealed that they’d barely hung on for years.
She was trying to revive interest in shopping locally and thereby increase her customer base; that was one of the reasons she’d decided to add a delivery service. She wanted to encourage the county’s farmers and ranchers to return to Buffalo Valley for their supplies. She’d worked hard to give people reasons to come into her place and spend their food dollars there, rather than in one of the fancy chain stores in Grand Forks or Devils Lake.
“So it isn’t the store?”
“No.” Reaching deep inside herself, she looked at her mother. “I have good news and bad news.”
“All right,” Cynthia Washburn said. “Give me the good news first.”
“I’ve fallen in love.”
“Maddy,” her mother cried excitedly. “That’s wonderful…fantastic! It’s—”
“The bad news,” she continued before her mother could get too ecstatic, “is that the man in question doesn’t feel the same way about me. He…he told me he doesn’t want me in his life.” She took a moment to compose herself, then added, “But he did give me one thing for which I’ll always be grateful.”
Cynthia placed one hand on her daughter’s shoulder.
Despite everything, Maddy managed to smile. “Mom, I’m pregnant.”
Her mother stared at her. “You’re…pregnant?”
Maddy nodded, fighting back tears. She’d grown so emotional lately, her moods swinging from one extreme to another. It didn’t help that her mother was struggling not to cry.
“Oh, Maddy.”
“It’s all right, Mom, really it is.”
“Oh, but, Maddy, you…you have no idea how difficult it is being a single mother. A child needs a father—”
“He’s already said he doesn’t want to be part of my life.” She hadn’t told Jeb about the baby, couldn’t see the point. He’d made his views painfully clear. A pregnancy wouldn’t change how he felt or thought about himself, and that was the crux of the problem. He saw himself as a cripple, and remained trapped in the bitterness of the accident. Anyway, he’d know about the baby eventually. It wasn’t as though Maddy could hide the pregnancy. The news of her condition would be out soon enough.
“You really love this man?”
Maddy nodded. Jeb had rejected her, but her feelings for him hadn’t changed.
“When he learns about the baby, don’t you think he’ll want to marry you?”
Maddy had given a lot of thought to what Jeb’s reaction would be. She figured there was a good chance he’d do exactly what her mother had guessed. He’d propose. Out of obligation, but not out of love. “If he does suggest getting married, I’ll refuse.”
“But why…Maddy, think this over carefully—for your baby’s sake.”
Maddy hugged her mother, knowing her news had come as a shock and a disappointment. “Mom, everything’s going to work out fine. But I won’t marry a man who doesn’t love me. One of the greatest gifts a father can give his child is love for the mother.”
Announcing her pregnancy at the end of Christmas Day probably hadn’t been the best idea, but Maddy just couldn’t tell her mother earlier. She’d tried, she really had….
Fear and doubts had darkened her days. So many doubts. But she’d grown accustomed to the realization that by the end of August, she’d be a mother. It helped that Lindsay was pregnant, too. They’d done so much together in their lives, Maddy found comfort in the fact that they would become mothers within a month of each other.
Once her own mother got over the shock of this pregnancy, she would share Maddy’s excitement. From books she’d ordered over the Internet, Maddy had read extensively about pregnancy and birth. Her diet had never been healthier, and despite her circumstances, she was happy. Her mother was right; the situation was far from ideal, but she intended to make the best of it.
Dennis Urlacher was her first customer when Maddy opened the store the following morning. Her mother was still getting dressed; she’d made them a traditional family breakfast reserved for Sundays and special occasions—a cheesy, oven-baked omelette. They’d had a leisurely meal. Conversation had been pleasant but hadn’t touched on last night’s news. Which was fine…Maddy expected this to be a relaxed, easy day, perfect after the hectic few days before Christmas. The Loomis twins were scheduled to work that afternoon, and Maddy was going to take her mother along on her delivery rounds.
“Morning.” Maddy greeted Dennis when he walked in. “How was your Christmas?”
“Good,” Dennis told her absently. He reached for a cart and started down the first aisle. They’d gone out to dinner a couple of times, but she would describe herself as more a sounding board tha
n a real date. Dennis loved Sarah Stern. He never talked about what had happened between them, just as she didn’t talk about Jeb. They were two lonely people seeking companionship.
Maddy knew there’d already been some gossip about her and Dennis, but accepted that as part of living in a small town. In time, people would see that they were nothing more than friends.
“Can I help you with anything?” Maddy’s mother asked her, coming into the store. She wore a long-sleeved wool shirt, the sleeves rolled up, and blue jeans.
“Would you like to put price stickers on the canned goods?”
“Sure.” Quite a change from her job as city editor at Savannah’s major newspaper, Maddy thought with a grin. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be lifting anything,” her mother went on, sounding serious.
“I don’t, Mom, so there’s no need to worry.” As if either of the Loomis twins would allow her to carry anything heavier than a candy bar! Those two treated her like royalty, sometimes arguing over who would do what, particularly when she made a request. As soon as they graduated in June, she hoped to be bringing in enough income to hire them both permanently. They made everything so much easier for her, and with the baby she’d need the extra help.
Dennis approached the check-out stand and unloaded his groceries, including his standard peanut butter and instant coffee. It was peanut butter that had led to his inviting her out that first time.
She’d asked if he ate anything else and Dennis had claimed he would if he had someone to eat with him. Then, shyly and quite endearingly, he’d suggested she join him for dinner one night. Maddy had readily agreed.
“Mom, this is Dennis Urlacher,” Maddy said, eager for her mother to meet her friends. She accepted the cash, then bagged his purchases.
“Hello, Dennis.” Her mother raised the sticker gun in a wave.
“It’s a pleasure, Mrs. Washburn,” Dennis said with a polite nod.
“Mrs.,” Cynthia repeated. “Oh my, it’s years since anyone called me that.”
“Just accept it, Mom,” Maddy advised. “No one goes by Ms. here. Lindsay tried last year and finally gave up.”
“How long will you be in town?” Dennis asked, seemingly amused by the exchange.
“Until Saturday morning. I can’t believe how quickly the time’s going.”
“Enjoy your stay, Mrs. Washburn—I mean, Ms. Washburn.”
“You can call me whatever makes you comfortable, Dennis,” her mother told him with a warm smile. That warmth changed suddenly to speculation as Cynthia glanced between Maddy and Dennis.
Maddy understood the unspoken question. Her mother wanted to know if Dennis was her baby’s father.
“No, Mom,” she said, grateful Cynthia hadn’t asked.
“Maddy?” Dennis studied her, obviously perplexed.
“It’s nothing.” Hoping to get past the uncomfortable moment, she continued quickly, “Mom, Dennis owns the Cenex station in town.”
“Oh, I noticed it,” her mother said in that easy conversational way Maddy shared. “You know, Buffalo Valley is delightful. It’s a town full of surprises. Who would have thought that some of the most exquisite quilts I’ve ever seen would be sold here? I’m delighted to hear I can buy one in Savannah now. Sarah Stern’s work is incredible.”
Maddy saw Dennis stiffen at the mention of Sarah. In an effort to divert attention from her mother’s comment, she hurriedly handed him his groceries. The movement must have made her pull a muscle or more likely a ligament. At the shooting pain in her side, she gave an involuntary yelp.
“Maddy!” Her mother dropped everything and rushed toward her.
Maddy pressed her hand to her ribs. “I’m fine,” she said breathlessly. “It’s nothing.”
“But it could be the baby.”
Maddy groaned aloud all over again, only this time it had nothing to do with the pain. Dennis’s eyes widened.
“Baby?” he blurted out in a shocked voice.
“Oh, Mother!”
“You’re pregnant?” Dennis stared at her as if seeing her for the first time.
“Let me walk you to the door,” Maddy said from between clenched teeth, glaring at her mother.
As soon as they were out of earshot, Dennis asked, “Does Jeb know?”
Of course he’d figure out who the father was. Obviously, there was no hiding that bit of information. The thought wasn’t a comforting one, but she should have realized that after the blizzard everyone would guess.
“No one knew,” she told him. “No one other than Lindsay and my mother. Until now.”
“Oh.” Dennis seemed at a loss for words.
“I don’t want this news leaked. Not yet, and especially not to Jeb.”
“But he has a right to know,” Dennis argued. “He’ll want to do the honorable thing. I know Jeb. As soon as he learns about the baby, he’ll marry you.”
This wasn’t good. “I won’t marry him,” she said flatly.
“Why not?” Dennis asked in hushed tones. “You’re carrying his child!”
“Because he doesn’t love me,” she whispered heatedly. “Listen, this isn’t a discussion I intend to have with anyone but Jeb. I’m asking you as my friend not to say anything to him or anyone else in his family.”
“But Maddy—”
“Please, Dennis, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.” Her eyes implored him to honor her request.
“All right,” he agreed with reluctance, “but I strongly disagree.”
“I will tell him,” she promised, “but not now. The baby’s not due until August.” Telling Jeb wasn’t a task she relished, and she wanted to put it off as long as she could.
“August?” Dennis almost shouted. “He’ll figure it out long before then!”
“I’ll tell him soon,” she said. “Soon enough.”
Dennis continued to stare at her, then shook his head and muttered something under his breath. Still grumbling, he walked out of the store.
Christmas really sucked, as far as Calla was concerned. And she wasn’t talking about her gifts, either. It would’ve been better if her uncle Jeb had come, but he was too smart for that.
Her mother had put on this cutesy act Christmas Day, like everything was all wonderful. It wasn’t. Calla wanted out of Buffalo Valley. This was a hick town, and she dreamed of attending a real high school and having lots of friends her own age instead of only a few.
Okay, Mrs. Sinclair was a neat teacher, better than that ancient Mrs. Patten who’d died the summer before. Calla suspected the old woman had been dead two or three months before anyone noticed. She hadn’t been much good as a teacher, always going on about manners and something she called “deportment.”
Calla tried to imagine a school with hallways and lockers. Tried to imagine what it would be like to hang out in a real mall with a food court and a video-game arcade. Her mother didn’t care about stunting Calla’s social life. All she cared about was that stupid quilt store. That and Dennis Urlacher.
Calla stabbed her pen into a notebook, puncturing the cover. She hated Dennis. If it wasn’t for him, her mother might move to Fargo, or better yet, Minneapolis.
That was where Calla’s father lived now. His letter had arrived a few weeks earlier and she’d been so excited, she’d nearly torn it in half in her rush to open it.
Everyone had wanted to know what he’d written, mostly her mother, but Calla hadn’t let anyone else read it. Not even Jessica Mayer who was her friend, or as close to a friend as she had in this godforsaken town.
Jessica still talked constantly about Kevin Betts, even though he was attending art school in Chicago. She wrote him practically every day and was lucky to get a letter back once or twice a month. It was clear to Calla that Kevin had his eye on other girls now and was ready to move on. Jessica didn’t get it. She acted like Kevin’s letters had been printed on gold. She treasured each one, reading them so often it was a wonder she hadn’t memorized them. Calla cherished the letter from her fa
ther the way Jessica did Kevin’s.
“Calla.” There was a knock on her bedroom door.
“What?” She made herself sound as nasty as she could. She wasn’t in the mood for company, especially her mother’s.
The door opened and her mother walked in. “I’d like to talk to you, if I could?”
Not again, Calla groaned inwardly. She sat up on the bed and stuffed the notebook beneath her pillow. “What do you want now?” she asked.
“To talk.”
“About what?”
Her mother pulled out Calla’s desk chair and sat down. “You seem so unhappy lately.”
“Well, duh.”
Her mother didn’t immediately respond. “Could you be more specific?”
“Sure. I hate it here. I want to move to Minneapolis.”
“But Calla—”
“I have no life, Mother. There are exactly three girls my age and two of them are stupid. All they talk about is boys.”
“What about Jessica?”
Calla sighed. “Did you know that Jessica Mayer actually believes Kevin’s going to ask her to marry him when she graduates? The girl doesn’t have a clue.”
“Why Minneapolis?”
“Figure it out,” she snapped. Talk about people not having a clue! Calla had credited her mother with more intelligence than that.
“Because of your father?”
Calla glared at her as if the answer should be obvious. “I hardly know my father, thanks to you.”
“Me?” Her mother’s eyes flashed with outrage. “How can you say that?”
“You took me away from him.” His letter had been explicit on this point.
“He could have come for a visit any time!”
“Sure. Right.”
“Calla, think about it. I’ve never done anything to prevent Willie from seeing you.”
“He prefers to be called Will now,” she said coldly.
“Fine. Whatever.”
Calla folded her arms across her chest. Her grandfather and mother both claimed she had a bad attitude, but no one mentioned how nasty her mother could get. Being around her was a real downer, especially lately—well, other than Christmas Day and all that phony enthusiasm.