When Merrily wasn’t back after fifteen minutes, Bob went to see what was taking her so long. He found her sitting on the edge of the bed, gently rocking Axel, whispering endearments to the boy.
“What’s wrong now?” he asked irritably. Was it too much to expect a decent night’s sleep? Merrily was up and down at least a dozen times damn near every night.
Merrily placed her finger over her lips to silence him.
“How much longer will you be?” He kept his voice low.
She shrugged. “He had a bad dream,” she told him, speaking so quietly he had to strain to make out the words.
Bob drew his hand down his face. “If I had a bad dream, would you comfort me, too?”
Her grin told him she’d happily see to his needs—and then some. Bob instantly felt better and returned to bed. Not long afterward, Merrily joined him.
“Had any bad dreams lately, big boy?” she asked as she slipped between the covers and moved close to him. She rubbed her bare leg against his and slid her arm across his chest.
“Plenty,” Bob told her, staring up at the ceiling. “Real bad dreams.”
She kissed his jaw and ran her tongue slowly along his ear. Shivers raced through him and he let loose with a husky growl and rolled onto his side. He kissed her and let her know how badly he needed her special brand of comfort. When he least expected it, Merrily pushed him away.
“It’s Axel,” she cried, throwing back the blankets and climbing off the bed.
Bob groaned and flopped onto his back. His patience was already in short supply, and his mood had taken a dramatic turn by the time Merrily got back.
“What the hell was wrong now?”
“He had another nightmare. If you’d been through what he has, you’d have bad dreams, too.” She sat on the bed, her back to him. “Do you want me to leave, Bob? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Not you.”
“You want me to get rid of Axel?”
He was afraid to ask her to make a choice; he had the distinct impression she’d choose the kid over him. “What I want is for everything to be the way it was before—just you and me.”
“It hasn’t been just you and me for almost two years. Why else do you think I left you all those times?”
So she’d been dividing her time between the kid and him. As best as he could figure, Axel lived in California and was the lure that dragged Merrily away from him.
“If you don’t want Axel around, I understand,” Merrily told him matter-of-factly. “But I go with him. He needs me a whole lot more than you do.”
Bob doubted that.
“No one loves him except me. If you can’t learn to care about him, then…then maybe it’d be better if I just left.”
Bob definitely didn’t want that. He placed his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off. “Don’t you see,” she said, and her voice quavered suspiciously, “I’m the only mother the kid has?”
Bob did see that, but he didn’t like it. Before this, he’d been the focus of her tender loving care and he hated sharing her with a whiny two-year-old. Especially one who couldn’t seem to sleep more than a couple of hours at a stretch.
“What you don’t understand,” Merrily continued with emotion in her voice, “is that he needs you, too.”
“Me?”
“He needs a father.”
The word hit Bob like a baseball bat on the back of the head. Him, a father? The idea was laughable, ludicrous. Crazy.
“But he hides his eyes every time I’m anywhere close to him,” Bob said.
“If men had hurt you the way they’ve hurt that little boy, you’d hide your eyes, too.” Her back was still to him, her arms crossed. “Have you ever noticed the scar on his thigh?”
Bob had.
“His father used a lit cigarette to teach him a lesson. If Axel was going to cry, then he thought he should give him a reason.”
The rage that filled him was palpable. “The son of a bitch!”
“There’s more, much more. Things I can’t bear to think about.”
Bob’s heart went out to the child. “Did anyone call the authorities?”
“Me,” Merrily told him. “But by the time they arrived…” She didn’t finish.
“What happened?” Bob asked, careful not to seem too demanding.
“By then, there was no longer any ‘evidence.’ And I wasn’t considered a…reliable witness. And after that little episode…”
“What?”
“His daddy decided to sell him.”
“Sell him?” Bob exploded. “How? I mean, good God, you don’t buy or sell children.” What he really wanted to ask was what kind of man would do such a thing, but the answer was obvious. The kind of man who’d burn a toddler with a cigarette.
“I didn’t have the money he wanted.”
“You were going to buy him?”
“I was going to do whatever it took to keep him safe,” Merrily said.
“Then how’d you get him?”
She shook her head. “I have him, that’s all that matters.”
Bob sighed. Damn, but life could get complicated. Another thought struck him, one with terrifying consequences. “You in any danger?”
She laughed without any real humor. “I’d be a dead woman if he ever found me, but don’t worry, he won’t. No one knows about you or this place. We’re safe here.”
Bob stroked her back. “You and the boy can stay as long as you want.”
She turned, and a slow, sexy smile spread across her face as she leaned toward him. “Now, what was it you were saying about a bad dream? I’m here to make it all better.”
Bob grinned and raised his arms, inviting her into his embrace. He groaned as Merrily joined him between the covers and stripped off her nightgown. Switching off the lamp on the nightstand, he reached for her. She came to him with an eagerness that stole his breath and in those next frantic moments, she reminded him, in lots of ways, just how lonely he could get without her.
Buffalo Bob woke at first light. Merrily was asleep in his arms, her face peaceful in slumber. She hadn’t told him outright where she’d gotten the kid, but he was convinced now that she’d done the right thing. When he’d questioned her further, she refused to answer, telling him the less he knew, the better off they’d all be. Bob hoped that in time she’d trust him with the rest of the story.
Axel’s soft cry drifted in from the other room. As carefully as he could, Bob extracted himself from Merrily, not wanting to wake her. He found the boy curled up in one corner of the bed. When he saw Bob, Axel buried his face in the pillow.
“Good morning,” Bob said softly, knowing the sound of his voice often terrified the youngster.
Axel wouldn’t look at him. “Mama,” he insisted.
“Mama’s still sleeping.”
Axel whimpered.
Bob advanced slowly into the room, then sat on the very edge of the bed. Still averting his face, Axel crawled to the farthest reaches of the bed. Bob had no idea how to gain the kid’s trust. Suddenly he remembered that his own mother used to sing to him. The hell if he could remember any lullabies, though. Instead, he sang a ditty from his motorcycle days. The words were a little raunchy and Merrily would probably object, but Axel seemed to enjoy it. When he finished, the boy lifted his head and smiled.
A smile. A simple, innocent smile, and Bob felt like he’d pulled off a major coup.
“Give me five, my man,” he said, stretching out his hand.
Axel sat up and slapped his palm, then hurriedly crawled back to the corner of the bed.
“Want to come downstairs and help your old man fix breakfast?” he asked.
Axel stared at him blankly.
“Morning,” Merrily said, standing in the doorway. “How are my men this morning?”
“Mama!” Axel scurried across the bed, and Bob lifted him down and watched as he raced toward Merrily, eager to be taken into her arms.
Holding the boy against her hip, Merrily w
alked over to Bob and kissed his cheek. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“Hey, what did I do?”
“Nothing much,” she said, her voice trembling, “but I think you just took the first step toward becoming Axel’s daddy.”
Bob thought about that and glanced at the toddler on Merrily’s hip. For the first time Axel wasn’t hiding his face.
“Give me five,” Bob said again, and held out his hand.
Axel laughed and slapped Bob’s palm with all his might.
Sarah felt more optimistic than she had in months. Thanks to Lindsay and her uncle’s furniture store, she was selling quilts steadily and receiving more money than she would’ve believed possible. Advance orders came in every week, more than she could fulfill on her own. Since the first of the year, two local farm wives had come to work for her part-time. Every cent she could, Sarah set aside for attorney’s fees. Divorces didn’t come cheap.
In March, with winter still upon them and only the promise of spring ahead, Buffalo Valley looked gray and dingy. Dirt smudged the snow-lined streets and a gloomy pall hung over the town. People’s moods always hit a low point between March and April, she’d noticed. But something was happening to Buffalo Valley. Something good. After years of decline, years in which she’d watched businesses close and families move away, the town had taken an unmistakable turn toward recovery.
Three homes had sold, which meant three new families had moved into the community, drawn by new business ventures. The Hoopers had come with JCPenney’s catalog store, which was now in full operation. Rachel’s pizzeria was doing well enough to allow her to hire extra staff. On Valentine’s Day, Jean Hooper had opened her beauty shop. A high-school friend of Rachel’s, a divorced mother, had moved into the old Sheppard house off Spruce Street, and Pastor Dawson and his family would be taking over a house close to the old Catholic church. Larry Dawson had grown up in the area, and people were pleased to see him back.
Perhaps best of all, Calla had turned sixteen and was working as a weekend waitress for Rachel. With her job, her attitude seemed to improve, which Sarah deeply appreciated, although she and Calla still tended to ignore each other most of the time.
As far as Sarah knew, Dennis was no longer seeing Maddy, but he hadn’t asked to see her, either. Sarah had decided to wait until she’d received word that the divorce proceedings were underway before she admitted the truth to Dennis. She was embarrassed and ashamed that from the beginning, she’d led him to believe she was already divorced.
The news on that front was good, too. After several weeks of searching, Susanne Sullivan had been able to locate Willie Stern in Minneapolis. He’d moved three times in five months. She was preparing the divorce documents and would have them delivered shortly.
Sarah was thrilled. The sky might be gray, the weather dreary, but she felt full of hope for the future. She loved Dennis and knew he loved her. Soon she’d be able to come to him a free woman.
Yes, Sarah thought, Buffalo Valley Quilts was prospering, and so was she.
A dirty red pickup truck pulled into a parking space across the street from her store, and seeing it, Sarah frowned. It looked exactly like Jeb’s. He so seldom drove into town that she found it hard to believe it could be her brother.
They hadn’t talked much since Jeb had learned of Maddy’s pregnancy. Last week he’d phoned, though, for the first time in a month. Initially she had thought he’d called for no reason, which was highly unusual for Jeb, but several minutes into their nonconversation, he oh, so casually asked about Maddy. Only then did Sarah realize why he was calling her: he wanted information.
Sarah didn’t have much to tell him. Busy as she was with work, she rarely saw Maddy, who seemed equally involved in her own business. One thing she did know, Maddy had turned Hansen’s Grocery around financially. People went out of their way to shop at Maddy’s.
She had a gift for making everyone feel welcome. She greeted people with genuine pleasure, remembered to ask after their families, made them feel important. And as far as service went, she kept the store well-stocked and paid attention to her customers’ preferences and requests. Not only that, the place was clean, bright and appealing, with her regularly changing decorations. Sarah didn’t have access to any figures, but she guessed that the grocery was doing double the business it had under the previous owners.
She’d said all this to Jeb, who had silently listened, absorbing everything, asking her question after question, most of which she couldn’t answer. In each one, she heard his anxiety and his pain—and his longing. Before he hung up, he quietly thanked her, and ended the conversation by making her promise to call him if she learned that Maddy needed anything. Anything at all.
Sarah had to bite her tongue to keep from telling him that what Maddy and her child really needed was someone to love them.
Joshua had been adamant that Jeb should marry Maddy. His insistence had caused a strain between father and son. Despite her father’s strong feelings, Sarah disagreed. She’d married Willie for all the wrong reasons and didn’t want to see her brother repeat her mistake. If he did marry Maddy, he should do it only because he loved her and wanted to change his life, make her part of it. Otherwise, he should meet his financial obligations and play whatever role Maddy requested in her child’s upbringing.
Sarah had to wonder whether Jeb was even capable of admitting he needed or wanted anyone. He’d spent years pushing people away, becoming more and more solitary.
Distracted by her thoughts, Sarah didn’t see anyone climb out of the truck. It had to be Jeb, though. When he ventured into town, he almost always came to see her first. Not this time. If he hadn’t come to her place, then Sarah knew he’d gone over to Maddy’s.
Those two. She shook her head. For some reason, her brother and Maddy couldn’t manage to hold a civil conversation. Jeb didn’t confide in her, but she knew from occasional remarks that every attempt he’d made to talk to Maddy since the blizzard had ended in an argument. This made no sense to Sarah; she’d never known Maddy to be anything but warm and friendly.
An hour passed, and still no Jeb. When she could bear it no longer, Sarah left the store in the hands of Jennifer, a recently hired employee, and walked over to Maddy’s.
She discovered that Maddy had displayed a number of huge green shamrocks with leprechauns peeking from behind them. She’d brought in a portable tape deck and played Celtic music. A rainbow with a pot of gold was set up by the produce counter, with a free gold-covered chocolate coin for every youngster.
“Hello, Sarah,” Maddy called out as she walked into the store. Maddy’s cheerfulness told Sarah she hadn’t seen Jeb. “Anything I can help you with?”
Sarah shook her head. “Have you talked to Jeb lately?” She couldn’t see any reason to hide the purpose of her visit.
“No.” Some of Maddy’s joy seemed to evaporate at the mention of her brother.
“He’s in town,” Sarah told her.
“He hasn’t been here.”
Sarah hesitated, then added, “He called and asked about you last week.”
“He could have asked me directly.” The smile had vanished completely now, replaced with a look of strain.
“Could he ask you?” Sarah asked.
Maddy exhaled, then laughed softly. “Probably not. We don’t seem to have a lot to say to one another these days.”
“He’s worried about you and the baby.”
“I hope you told him I’m doing fine, and so is the baby. He’s kicking quite a bit now. I dropped off a couple of books about pregnancy and birth when I delivered Jeb’s groceries, but I didn’t hear from him afterward. I don’t think he bothered to read them.”
Sarah suspected otherwise. “My guess is he did. You’re about four months pregnant?”
“Yes, the doctor set my due date for the beginning of August. I have an ultrasound scheduled next month.”
Sarah remembered how much she’d enjoyed being pregnant. Like Maddy, she was one of the lucky wome
n who didn’t experience many of the discomforts that often accompany pregnancy. Those nine months she’d carried Calla were probably the healthiest of her life.
“Do you want me to let Jeb know you’re looking for him—if he does stop by?” Maddy asked.
“No, that’s all right. I’ll catch him later.” Sarah was about to leave, then changed her mind. “I don’t mean to meddle in your relationship with Jeb, so if I’m crossing the line here, let me know.”
“All right,” Maddy agreed.
Sarah noted how stiffly Maddy held herself. “He does care for you, Maddy, and he cares about the baby. He asked me to look out for you—”
“He asked you to keep an eye on me?”
“No—not in so many words, and not in the tone you’re implying. He wants what’s best for you.”
Maddy averted her face. “I feel great, wonderful—tell him he doesn’t need to worry.”
“I was hoping you’d tell him that yourself.”
“I will,” she promised. “If I see him.”
For the rest of the day, Maddy expected Jeb to walk into the grocery at any minute, ready to start another verbal confrontation. That was the way things stood between them now. They each seemed quick to find fault, to suspect the worst. She didn’t want that kind of relationship, but she was no longer sure how to change it.
At six, she closed the store, sent the Loomis twins home, and decided to ignore her disappointment. It’d been a month since she’d last seen Jeb, and she had to admit it hurt that he’d driven all the way into town and avoided her.
She considered phoning Sarah to learn what she could, but managed to talk herself out of it. Sarah would report to Jeb that she was checking up on him. He’d resent it the same way she’d resented his inquiring about her and Dennis.
After fixing herself a fresh spinach salad, she sat down in front of the television, propped her feet up, and tuned in to a ten-year-old movie. Soon bored and restless, she wrote her mother a long letter. After that, she checked her e-mail and phoned Lindsay. Before long, she was yawning.