To complicate matters even more, they were due to see each other again in only an hour. It would have been so much better if she could have put some time and distance between last night and their next meeting. She needed time to gain perspective, to think this matter through. But the luxury of that was being taken away from her.
Within a short while Clare would be with Reed again. For the next two days they’d be sharing one another’s company. To her dismay she hadn’t given a single thought to how she’d spend her time with Reed following Erin and Gary’s wedding. They’d be together almost exclusively from that point onward. Clare sincerely doubted that Erin and Gary would feel responsible for entertaining them the first hours of their honeymoon.
Jack had been concerned about her traveling with Reed. His apprehension was only token, she was sure, nevertheless, he’d made a point. Clare didn’t know Reed, really know him that is. Until recently she’d viewed him as unruly and even a tad dangerous. Rumors about him had been floating around town for years, but Clare had never paid much attention to hearsay. To her way of thinking, not half of what was said could possibly be true. It couldn’t be, otherwise Gary, who was decent and honorable wouldn’t have asked Reed to stand up as his best man.
Clare wondered about the relationship between the two men. If she’d had her wits about her the night before, she would have asked Reed herself. It would have been a good place to start a conversation. But she’d been upset over Jack and hadn’t made the effort to engage him.
Well, she needn’t worry about Jack any longer, she reminded herself. He was out of her life. Once again she experienced a lighthearted, almost giddy sensation of relief. It was over, finally. Her life was her own once again.
Broken engagement aside, Clare now had to battle a growing sinus headache. There wasn’t time to contact Dr. Brown for an appointment. She’d endured the problem for years and had several medications from leftover prescriptions. Gathering together what she had into one bottle, she downed a capsule, then placed what remained in her purse. Once she was home, she’d give the doctor’s office a call and see about scheduling an appointment. It wasn’t the best plan, but it was the most workable option available to her at the moment.
“Have I got everything?” Gary asked, slapping his hands against his suit pockets in frenzied movements. “I can’t believe I’m this nervous.”
Reed smiled patiently at his friend, amused.
“I feel like…I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I’m about to get married and I swear I’m so nervous I’m breaking out in a cold sweat.” Gary walked over to the hotel window that overlooked the Vegas strip, stuffed his hands into his pants pockets as he stared at the flat Nevada landscape. “It could be worse, I suppose, I could make an even bigger fool of myself and break into tears at the altar.”
Once again Reed grinned at his friend. He’d known Gary for several years and couldn’t remember ever seeing him in such an agitated state. Often he’d admired Gary for his cool head and his calm, levelheaded manner. As a coach there were ample opportunities for his friend to allow his emotions to get away from him, but Reed had yet to see it happen. Until now, just before he was due to marry Erin Davis.
Love seemed to do that to a man, Reed noted. He wasn’t all that educated in the emotion himself, and wondered if their situations were reversed how he’d react. If he were to marry Clare, would he be any less nervous? Reed didn’t know, but it wasn’t likely the situation would arise so he need not concern himself with it.
He’d spent the better part of the day with Clare Gilroy and they hadn’t exchanged more than a handful of sentences. He would have liked to talk, but it was apparent Clare wasn’t feeling well. She’d fallen asleep on the plane and had unknowingly rested her head against his shoulder. Reed had wanted to wrap his arm around her, shield her and make her as comfortable as possible in their cramped quarters. But he feared when she woke his actions would alarm her, and so he’d done nothing.
Clare Gilroy was off-limits to him, Reed reminded himself for the hundredth time in the past four hours. She was cultured, educated and refined. Reed was none of those things. They shared almost nothing in common except a thriving sensual awareness. She’d chosen to pretend otherwise, but the feelings were there whether she admitted it or not. They hadn’t lessened from the night before, either. If anything they’d grown more intense.
The harshest agony Reed had ever endured had been holding Clare in his arms on the dance floor. It required every ounce of restraint he possessed not to crush her against him and kiss her the way he’d dreamed of doing for longer than he cared to admit.
He wasn’t a fool. He knew what she was feeling. He knew what he was feeling. Their bodies had moved together, each action echoed instinctively by the other in an age-old ritual of desire.
It had terrified her, Reed realized, feeling the things she did. She’d broken away from him, rushed off the dance floor, and left the restaurant in a near panic.
He’d watched her closely when they’d met again that morning, looking for a sign, some indication of what she was feeling now. He hadn’t been able to read her soft brown eyes. Her gaze had skirted away from his, and later, on the plane, he realized she was in pain. Whatever he read in her would be clouded by her discomfort.
“How do I look?” Gary asked, easing his finger along the inside of his starched white collar of his shirt. “Erin’s the only woman in the world who could ever talk me into wearing a tuxedo.”
“You’re the one person in the world who could convince me to wear one,” Reed echoed. Gary Spencer was his only Anglo friend. The two had met because of Reed’s efforts with the Indian youths at the high school. He worked hard to preserve his people’s culture, making it a point to pass on his skills as a totem pole carver to the next generation.
A couple of the Skyute boys had been a part of the football team and Reed had got to know Gary through them. The coach’s insights into dealing with teenagers had impressed Reed, and when Derek, one of the youths, had got into trouble with the law, Gary had helped him. Reed was grateful, even if Derek wasn’t.
“You look…” Gary paused, apparently searching for the right word.
“Different,” Reed supplied.
“More than that.”
“It’s the braids.” Or rather the lack of them. Reed had combed his hair back and tied it at the base of his neck. When he’d surveyed the results in the mirror, he’d been surprised himself. Removing the braids seemed to erase the part of him that was Indian. He was the same man on the inside, but the outside had decidedly changed. His skin was darker than most Anglos, but the bronze tone could have as easily been from a tanning booth as his heritage. With his hair pulled away from his face, he could be Italian as easily as Native American. For the first time he could see his mother’s mark in his features. Somehow he looked less harsh, less austere.
“What’s different is that you’re…hell, I feel foolish even saying it, you’re downright good-looking.”
Reed scoffed and shook his head. “I don’t trust the judgment of a man who’s about to marry the woman he loves.”
Gary rubbed his palms together. “I suppose you’re right.” Glancing at his wrist, he paced the length of the hotel room once again. “We’ve got fifteen minutes to kill. You want to go downstairs for a drink?”
Reed shook his head. “Not particularly.”
“You’re right,” Gary agreed, “I need a clear head.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I wonder if Erin’s having second thoughts.”
“I doubt it.”
“You don’t think so?” he asked anxiously, then sighed. “I can’t remember ever being this jittery.”
“Any second thoughts yourself?” Reed asked. “Are you sure you really want to marry Erin?” The question wasn’t a serious one, but one intended to distract Gary and take his mind off the time.
Gary ceased his pacing and turned to face Reed. “I’ve never been more confident of anything in my life. Erin’s t
he best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“I thought so.”
“I’d given up hope of ever finding a woman I’d want to marry,” Gary continued, “and now that I have I’m so impatient to make her my wife I can hardly stand it.”
“From what I’ve seen of Erin, I’d say she feels the same about being your bride.”
“I want a houseful of children, too. I imagine that surprises you. Every time I think about Erin and me having a baby I get all mushy inside.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.”
“What about you?” Gary asked. “Have you ever thought of marrying?”
“No,” Reed answered honestly.
His quick response seemed to catch Gary by surprise. “Why not?”
“I’m half-white, half Indian.”
“So?”
Reed didn’t answer. He hadn’t found acceptance in either world. Certainly not in the white man’s society. He was looked upon as a hellion although he hadn’t done anything in years to substantiate the rumors. With his father’s people he was respected, mainly because of his art. He’d been reared by his grandfather, taught the Indian ways until they became as much a part of him as breathing. Nevertheless there was a distance between the tribal leaders from an incident that happened when he was a youth. He’d been passed over for an award he deserved, because he was only half Indian. In some ways Reed was responsible for the rift, but not in all.
“Then you’ve never been in love,” Gary said dismissively, and glanced at his watch. “I’ve waited six years for this day, and I should be a little more patient.”
“Do you want to go to the chapel and wait there?”
Gary nodded. “Anything would be better than pacing this room.”
The same way hotels around the world supplied room service and a variety of other amenities to their guests, Las Vegas provided a wedding chapel. Gary had made the arrangements for his and Erin’s nuptials with the hotel staff weeks earlier. Following the ceremony, the four of them would share in an elegant dinner, and from there Gary and Erin would adjourn to the Honeymoon Suite. Reed would take Gary’s room for the night and Clare would sleep in Erin’s. They were scheduled to fly out early the following morning.
“I appreciate you coming down with us,” Gary said as they headed out of the elevator.
“I was honored you asked.”
“Oh, Erin,” Clare whispered when her friend appeared. “I’ve never seen you look so beautiful.”
“I’m going to cry…I know I’m going to make an absolute fool of myself and sob uncontrollably through the entire ceremony.”
Clare smiled at her friend’s words. “If anyone weeps it’ll be me.”
“How are you feeling?” Erin asked, studying her, her gaze revealing her concern.
“Much better,” Clare assured her friend. “The headache’s almost gone.”
“Good.” Erin nervously twisted the small bouquet of white rosebuds between her hands, closed her eyes and exhaled slowly.
By tacit agreement they made their way to the elevator and the wedding chapel. Clare’s heart swelled with shared happiness. Jack claimed she got in one of her moods every time one of her friends married, and for months Clare had listened to him, believed him. Because he’d been so adamant, Clare hadn’t recognized her own feelings.
She wasn’t jealous of Erin, she was joyous. Despite tremendous odds, Erin and Gary had found each other, let go of their pasts, learned from their mistakes and were ready to try their hands at love again. Clare saw in them courage, strength and love, and she deeply admired them both.
Gary and Reed were standing outside the chapel, waiting. Clare’s gaze was immediately drawn to Reed, and for an instant she didn’t recognize him. He looked completely different, but, without staring, she couldn’t figure out what it was that had changed. Her heart fluttered wildly as though she were the bride, and she lowered her gaze, fearing she might have been too obvious.
It was crazy, but she wondered what Reed thought when he first saw her. It didn’t seem possible that he experienced the same wondrous sensation that had struck her. Her dress was a lovely shade of pale blue with a spray of tiny pearls spilling over the shoulders and across the yoke. Erin had chosen it for her, and it closely followed the shapely lines of Clare’s breasts and slim hips. Clare became so involved with what was happening between her and Reed that she was only fleetingly aware of what was going on with Gary and Erin. It seemed there was some paperwork that needed to be completed before they could proceed with the actual ceremony. Erin and Gary were busy with that, leaving Clare and Reed to their own devices.
“Is Erin as nervous as Gary?” Reed surprised her by asking. To the best of her memory it was the first time he’d initiated a conversation.
“A little. Erin’s afraid she’s going to end up weeping through the ceremony.” How odd her voice sounded, as though it were coming from the bottom of a deep pit. Having Reed focus his gaze on added to her nervousness.
She was aware of everything around her, the tall white baskets filled with a wide array of colorful flowers, of gladiolas and irises, roses and baby’s breath. Their soft scents lingered in the room, delicate and sweet.
Clare found the need to look at Reed irresistible, and she subtly centered her gaze on him. He was dressed in a black tuxedo, which complimented his dark looks. The petite pleats of the shirt front added a decidedly masculine accent.
“You’ll need to sign here,” Gary said, but Clare was so enraptured with Reed that she didn’t realize he was speaking to her.
“Clare,” Erin said gently, “we need you to sign these papers.”
“Oh, of course,” she faltered, embarrassed.
“If you’re ready, we can begin the ceremony.” The official reached for his Bible, and the four of them formed a semicircle in front of him.
Over the years, Clare had been a member of several wedding parties. Some had been simple ceremonies such as she was involved with now, and others elaborate affairs in which she marched down the center aisle of a crowded church to the thundering strains of organ music.
None had affected her as this wedding did. It must be because it was Gary and Erin marrying, Clare decided, when an unexpected lump filled her throat. It had to be that.
As the justice of the peace spoke, the urge to cry increased. Each wedding she attended had touched Clare in some way. The very nature of the ritual was compelling and rendering to the heart.
Moments earlier she’d spoken to Reed of Erin’s concern, but if anyone was threatening to break into sobs, it was Clare herself.
As Erin’s soft voice rose to repeat her vows, Clare’s gaze was drawn back to Reed’s. Their eyes met as if guided by some irresistible force, and locked. This awareness, this fascination she felt toward him flowered…no, it was much stronger than flowering, it exploded to life. Tears, which had been so close to the surface, filled her eyes until Reed’s tall figure blurred and swam before her.
Whatever was happening, whatever was between them, was so powerful it took all her strength not to move to his side. He felt it, too, she was certain of it. As powerfully as she did.
Her lips were moving, Clare realized, although she wasn’t speaking. With her eyes locked with Reed’s, she found herself repeating the same wedding vows as her friend. To love, to cherish, always…
When it became Gary’s turn to repeat his vows, his voice was strong and clear with no hint of nervousness. By holding her gloved finger beneath her eye, Clare was able to drain off the tears. Reed’s gaze remained locked with hers and he, too, mouthed the words along with Gary. Clare was vividly aware of how intimate their actions were. Reed was silently beseeching her, echoing her own thoughts and needs.
Suddenly the vows had been said. Even though Clare didn’t want the moment to end there was nothing she could say or do that would prolong it. Gary embraced Erin and kissed her, and Clare, desperately needing to compose herself, lowered her eyes. Her breathing was shallow, she noted, and
her pulse pounded wildly against her breast.
Clare had only started to collect her emotions, when Erin turned and gave her a tearful kiss. “You’re crying,” she said, laughing and weeping herself.
“I know. Everything was so beautiful…you and Gary are beautiful.” She didn’t dare look in Reed’s direction and was grateful to realize he was occupied with Gary. It was uncanny that a Las Vegas ceremony could evoke such a wellspring of emotion.
She found it impossible to believe that she’d mouthed the vows along with her friend. Then it hit her. She was so anxious, so eager to be a wife herself that an uncontrollable longing had welled up inside her. She yearned to share her life with a man whose commitment to her was as deep as hers was to him. It was this promise of happiness that had kept her locked in a dead-end relationship for three barren years.
Reed turned to her after all the congratulations had been spoken, and reached for her hand, tucking it into the warm curve of his elbow.
“Are you feeling all right?”
Words eluded her, so she tried smiling, and nodded, hoping that would satisfy him. He was frowning at her, and she realized she’d made an utter fool of herself in front of him.
He raised his hand and gently traced his finger down the side of her face. “We’ll talk more later.”
His words raised a quiver of apprehension that raced up her spine..
He smiled, and to the best of her knowledge it was the first time she’d ever seen him reveal amusement.
“Don’t look so worried,” he told her, gently patting her hand.
They were walking side by side, her hand in his elbow, Clare obediently allowing herself to be led, although she hadn’t a clue where they were headed. Not that it mattered; in those moments Reed Tonasket could have been escorting her to the moon. As a matter of fact, she was halfway there already.
The wedding dinner was a festive affair. Gary ordered champagne, and the sparkling liquid flowed freely as they dined on huge lobster tails and the best Caesar salad Clare had ever tasted.