“I didn’t bring you back all these years just so you could die,” I said.
“Maybe you did,” said Giles. “Who knows? Time plays strange tricks on all of us.”
“I have a dagger at my throat!” yelled Molly.
Giles’s arm snapped out and he snatched the dagger right out of her hand. “No, you haven’t. Now behave yourself.”
Molly glared at him, and then at me, her eyes darkening dangerously. “You really think you can threaten Gods with a mechanism? With your little box full of clockwork?”
“Only one way to find out,” said Giles. “Give me the box, Eddie.”
“It won’t work,” said Molly. “We won’t let it work. Nothing happens here that we do not allow.”
And then we all looked up, startled, as a new sound entered the higher dimension; a triumphant howl like a great steam whistle, Dopplering down from some unimaginable distance. The heavens split apart, and the Time Train came thundering across the brilliant sky, hammering over the very tops of the mountainous Hungry Gods. A big black beast of an old-fashioned steam train, its engine roaring, strange energies sparking and cascading all around it, marking its trail across the sky with a rainbow of discarded tachyons.
Jay and Jacob Drood, the living and dead man, had made it through after all.
The Hungry Gods cried out, a terrible, unbearable sound, full of rage and malice and spite, outraged that something from a lower world should dare force its way into their hidden home. Ivor blew his steam whistle defiantly, a sharp, clear sound. The Time Train was falling now, descending at a controlled speed . . . and then it just stopped, hanging there, as time itself slammed to a halt. Nothing moved anywhere, everything was quiet, and suddenly the ghost of Jacob Drood was standing right in front of me, smiling his old crafty smile.
He reached out sharply and prodded Molly on the forehead with his forefinger. She swayed suddenly and shook her head.
“What?” she said. “What just happened? Eddie, why are you looking at me like that? And Jacob, what are you doing here?”
“Saving the day!” Jacob said grandly. “I just hit your reset button. Don’t know how long it’ll last, so pay attention. I have things to tell you.”
“What are you doing here?” I said. “I mean, why aren’t you up in the Time Train?”
“I am,” said Jacob. “I’m up there and I’m down here. It’s amazing what you can learn to do when you’re dead. Being in two places at the same time is child’s play when you don’t have a material body to worry about. Well, I do now, but Jay’s in charge of that.” His ancient face grew serious as he glanced up at Ivor the Time Engine, hanging suspended in the awful sky above the living mountains. “Listen, time will start up again any moment. Ivor can’t hold this for long, not against the combined will of the Hungry Gods, even with all the extra power he’s accumulated during his long trip. Oh, the places we’ve been, Eddie, and the things we’ve seen . . . It’s a much bigger universe than any of us ever expected. Now, when time starts up again I’ll be back aboard Ivor, and then Jay and I will steer the Time Train down to a probably apocalyptic impact right in the midst of the Hungry Gods. And all the temporal energies he’s holding will be discharged in one almighty explosion. Not enough of a bang to destroy the Hungry Gods, but quite enough to set off the Deplorable End, no matter how hard the Invaders try to suppress it. So, you can’t be here, Eddie.”
“But if the gateway’s left open . . .” said Giles.
“We can spare enough energy to close it, just before the crash,” said Jacob. “Ivor’s a remarkably sophisticated machine, once you learn to speak his language. He’s capable of far more than was ever asked of him. He doesn’t want to die . . . but he’s a Drood, and he understands duty. He’s very pragmatic, for a steam engine. And, of course, I have to be here. Both of me. I’ve arranged things with Ivor so that he will use some of the time energies to ensure that my death works out the way it should. On impact, Jay will die but his spirit will be sent back in time, to become the family ghost. And I . . . will be set free at last. To go on . . . and make trouble there, too. I’m quite looking forward to it.”
“Does it have to be this way?” I said. “Aren’t there any other options?”
“We’re lucky to have this one, Eddie,” Jacob said kindly. “The Hungry Gods will be destroyed, the world will be saved. We don’t really have a right to expect any more.” He looked at Giles. “There’s even enough spare temporal energy to send you home, boy. All the way back to the future. Just stand by the box, and trust me. Close your eyes, if it helps.” He turned back to me. “Good-bye, Eddie. You always were a good friend. And the son I never had . . . Don’t stop giving the family hell, just because I’m not around to prompt you.”
“Good-bye, Jacob,” I said. “I wish . . .”
“I know,” he said.
He disappeared, and Ivor’s defiant steam whistle sounded again, striking right through the raised, awful clamour of the Hungry Gods. The Time Train was plummeting through the incandescent sky, trailing tachyon steam as it headed remorselessly for the living mountains. Giles held out his hand for the Deplorable End, and I gave him the box. He hefted it once and smiled briefly.
“Good-bye, Eddie. Good-bye, Molly. I’ve enjoyed my time with you. It’s been . . . interesting.”
“Good-bye, Giles,” I said. “And wherever you go, and wherever you end up, remember, you’re still family.”
I took Molly by the arm and headed for the gateway. It snapped shut before me, gone in a moment. And Molly jerked her arm out of my hand. She laughed exultantly, her face and her body no longer her own again.
“You’ll never get out of here! We have shut down the gateway; you’re trapped here with us! Jacob will never destroy this world as long as you’re still here!”
“Of course he will,” I said. “He’s a Drood.”
“Yes,” said Giles. “Nothing matters but family, honour, and duty. I understand that now.”
The Time Train was dropping fast, hammering towards the surface, accelerating all the while. Wild energies exploded around the steam engine as the living mountains struggled to slow or stop it. But wherever Ivor had been, he’d become so strong that even the Hungry Gods couldn’t touch him. He howled down out of the sky, and I swear I saw Jacob and Jay leaning out the black cab, laughing and cheering like schoolboys.
There had to be a way out of this. There had to be a way. We couldn’t have come this far, just to die now. I pushed Molly into Giles’s arms, and he held her securely while she fought him and snarled curses and threats. I searched my pockets with both hands, looking for something, anything, that could help. I was never short of gadgets; the Armourer saw to that. But nothing I had on me could help me here. I should have asked Uncle Jack for something special before I left, but he was always saying I never used what he gave me anyway . . .
I stopped, and looked at my wrist. And there was the teleport bracelet he’d given me, that I’d never got around to trying because I was always too busy. Just a short-range jump, but if it could tap into the remaining energies of the gateway . . . I grabbed Molly out of Giles’s arms, yelled him a quick good-bye, and then threw both Molly and me into the place where the gateway had been, while yelling the Words that activated the bracelet. A very small space unfolded between us and swallowed us up. Molly stiffened in my arms, her voice abruptly shut off. I glanced back at Giles. He was waving good-bye, the steel box in his hand.
Behind him, I saw Ivor the Time Train come crashing down into the midst of the living mountains, his steam whistle blowing defiantly to the last. There was a concerted scream from the Hungry Gods, and then a great light and a greater sound, and a wave of energy blew me back through the gateway, with Molly in my arms.
EPILOGUE
Arriving back in our own world was like coming home again, after long years away. Everything felt so right, so normal and so welcoming. Truman’s underground base slammed into place around us, and Molly and I hit the ground hard, rolling
along in a flail of limbs, leaves blown on the wind of an other- dimensional storm. We skidded to a halt right at the edge of the great pit Truman had dug to hide his tower, and for a time we just lay there together, battered and bruised and breathing hard. Molly was herself again, and she clung to me like she’d never let me go. We were home again, back where we belonged, and I felt so good I would have laughed out loud if I’d only had the energy.
Molly and I slowly got to our feet, helping each other, and only looked round vaguely at the sound of approaching footsteps. Harry Drood and Roger Morningstar were running up the corridor. They both looked happy to see us, which was a first. They crashed to a halt before us, and Harry grabbed my hand and shook it hard in both of his.
“You’re back! Finally! Where the hell have you been?” said Harry, still pumping my hand. “We’ve been waiting here for you for ages!”
“We were beginning to wonder if you’d ever show up,” said Roger.
“Oh hell,” I said. “Not another time lapse. I should have expected it, if Ivor was involved . . . All right, how long have we been away this time?”
“Almost twelve hours!” said Harry.
“We were becoming quite concerned,” said Roger. “Well, I say we, but . . .”
“Twelve hours?” I said. “That’s not bad, for Ivor. Twelve hours I can live with. Harry, I’d quite like that hand back now, please. Thank you. I take it from that sloppy grin on your face that we succeeded. What’s been happening while we were away?”
“Every Loathly One in the world is dead,” said Harry. “All gone, from every nest in every country. It was clear you must have succeeded in your mission, and we were safe now from the Hungry Gods, so we set up a detail here to wait for your return. I volunteered to take first shot. The Matriarch said someone would be waiting here for you to come back, no matter how long it took.”
“Forever, if necessary,” said Roger. “The Matriarch was most firm on the matter. Sentimental old thing.”
“Grandmother always did have a taste for the big gesture,” I said. I looked at the tower, in its pit. The thing was obviously dead. It was slowly melting, its steel and technology and living parts all slipping and sliding away, rotting and falling apart. Slumping slowly back into the pit Truman had dug for it, and I couldn’t think of a better place to bury it.
“I feel like hell,” Molly said abruptly. She shook her head, as though to clean out the cobwebs, and then winced. “Damn! It feels like someone took a dump in my head . . . Did I hear you right? We killed the Hungry Gods? I can’t seem to remember much about what happened on the other side . . .”
“Probably just the stress of dimensional travel,” I said quickly. “Bound to play hell with the memory.”
“At least you aren’t infected anymore,” said Roger. “The Loathly One that was growing inside you is completely gone.”
We all looked at him. “Molly was infected?” said Harry.
“How long have you known?” I said.
“Almost from the beginning,” said Roger. “You can’t hide something like that from my superior half-demon senses.”
“Then why didn’t you say anything?” said Molly.
“None of my business,” Roger said easily. “Your magics were doing a perfectly good job of suppressing it, and it was clear Eddie knew about it . . . Besides, I was interested to see what would happen.”
“And just when were you planning on tell me?” said Harry. “No one ever tells me anything . . .”
“So I’m just me again?” said Molly. She grinned suddenly. “Any more of this, and I’ll start believing in happy endings.”
“Where’s Giles?” said Roger. “Didn’t he make it?”
“Giles has gone home,” I said. “I hope. Where is Mr. Stab?”
“Here,” said the calm, cold voice of the immortal serial killer. He appeared from behind the decaying tower, and nodded briefly to Molly and me. “I’ve been studying the tower as it dies. Most fascinating. I’ve cut out a few particularly interesting bits for souvenirs. The odd eyeball and so on. I hope no one objects.”
“You’ve been doing that for twelve hours?” said Molly.
“Just filling in time,” said Mr. Stab. “I knew you’d be back. And I wanted to say good-bye, before I left. I won’t be going back to the Hall. There’s nothing there for me now, with Penny dead, and I’m sure most of the family will bear a grudge. Present company included.”
“I trusted you!” said Molly. “I vouched for you!”
“You really should have known better,” said Mr. Stab. “The damned, above all, must be true to their nature. If I thought anyone could actually kill me, I might go back with you, but as it is . . . I will go back into the world again, and walk up and down in it, and do terrible things . . . because I must. Until finally I do something so awful, you’ll have to find a way to destroy me. Good-bye, everyone. Until we meet again . . .”
He bowed briefly, turned, and walked away. We let him go. What else could we do?
“At least Manifest Destiny is finished now,” said Harry after a while. “Truman’s dead, along with all his people here, and the base is destroyed. One less evil in the world to worry about.”
“Don’t be naïve, Harry,” Molly said tiredly. “Manifest Destiny is an idea, a philosophy. It’ll always be around, in some form or another. There’ll always be small, bitter people ready to follow some charismatic leader who promises them peace and happiness through justified violence and the killing of scapegoats.”
“But that’s a matter for another day,” I said firmly. “Come on; let’s go home.”
The Merlin Glass appeared abruptly before us, opening out onto the War Room. We filed through, and everyone there burst into applause, cheering my name and Molly’s. The Armourer was waiting to greet us.
“Knew you’d be back,” he said gruffly. “Never doubted it. What was the higher dimension like? What did the Hungry Gods look like? Did you bring me back any interesting souvenirs?”
“Hello, Uncle Jack,” I said. “Good to be back.”
There had to be a great celebration, of course. The family has always been big on ceremonies and celebrations. So after Molly and I had gone straight to bed and slept the clock round, word was sent that we were expected in the ballroom. We dressed up in our best and went along to find pretty much the whole damned family gathered in one place, dancing and drinking and feasting, in jubilant celebration that the world wasn’t going to end after all. They looked as though they’d been at it for some time, too. The noise was deafening. Strange had manifested his rosy glow up by the high ceiling, and was broadcasting dance music out of nowhere. People were dancing wildly, drinking freely, and chattering loudly together as they devoured the wide array of food laid out on buffet tables lining all four walls.
And then everything stopped as we entered, and everyone turned to cheer us, clapping their hands and stamping their feet, and basically going out of their minds just at the sight of us. The sheer volume and sentiment was so overwhelming, I practically blushed. I nodded stiffly, smiled, and waved tentatively. Molly smiled sweetly and basked in it all. Molly had never been bashful in her entire life.
We made our way into the ballroom, and everyone went straight back to dancing and drinking and eating. We’ve always been a very pragmatic family. The Matriarch had wanted Molly and me to be the guests of honour, with speeches and presentations and the like, but I had put my foot down. This was a celebration by the family, of the family. We all did our part. We all did our duty.
Molly and I wandered along a buffet table, trying a little of this and a little of that. Most of the food on display was the usual party nibbles, family style. Molly loved the pâté-stuffed baby mice on cocktail sticks, and I was quite taken with the baby octopus stuffed with caviar. Then there was lemming mousse, deviled brains in a brimstone sauce, and any amount of roast swan. We don’t like the lake to get overcrowded. Her Majesty the Queen had given us special dispensation to eat swan. As if we cared.
br /> I was still bone tired, despite many hours of deep and dreamless sleep, and even Molly lacked some of her usual sparkle. So we just strolled around, saying hi to people and shaking hands, and allowing ourselves to be clapped on the shoulder, which actually gets quite painful after a while, and just generally let everyone tell us how marvellous we were. Familiar faces popped up here and there. The librarians William and Rafe nodded briefly to us in passing, intent on devouring everything on the buffet tables that didn’t actually get up from its plate and run away. Harry and Roger sailed past, dancing together to the strains of a Strauss waltz, and very dashing they looked too. Young Freddie Drood was dancing with the Matriarch, the pair of them sailing smoothly and gracefully across the floor, and for just for a moment I caught a glimpse of the magnificent woman Martha must have been in her prime.
Callan came limping over to join us, with a large drink in one hand and an even larger drumstick in the other. “Hi there! Welcome back! What the hell did you think you were doing, going off to save the world without me? I woke up in a hospital bed and had to fight my way out with a steel bedpan and a walking stick. Only to find you were already gone! I always miss out on the good stuff . . .”
“Maybe next time,” Molly said kindly. “Did you see Janissary Jane in the infirmary?”
“Oh, sure. She’s recovering. Slowly. Tough old bird.” Callan took a deep breath and looked suddenly subdued. “Lot of others didn’t make it. The funerals alone will take weeks to get through. The family will be a long time getting over this.”
“All the more need for good people to step forward, and take up the strain,” I said. “I’ve already talked to the Matriarch about making you a full field agent.”