With every second that has passed by today I want even more to be close to her. To smell her sweet scent and feel the tingles that goes through my body when we are near.
Pulling into the small apartment complex I try to imagine which one is hers. I’d love to carry her, but I have no clue where to go.
I pull out my cell and shoot a text to Derrick asking for Char's apartment number.
While I wait to hear back, I try and wake her but she won't budge. Derrick finally replies with Char's apartment number so I figure I might as well carry her. I quietly get out of the driver side and walk on over to get her out of the Jeep. I take a quick glance in her direction and see her eyes close.
"That little shit." I mumble.
Do I continue to play along with her little charade or should I let her in on the fact that I know she is awake? Nah, I'll play along. See how long it takes her to break.
I open the door and lift her out. I love the way she wraps her arms around my neck and nuzzles her face against my skin.
I approach her door and stand as still as possible. She’s got to give sooner or later; otherwise we’ll be sleeping out here on her welcome mat.
I hear her softly say my name and I have to hold back my smile. She is a sly little fox; let’s see how far she is willing to take this. I can only hope she asks me to stay with her tonight.
After a few moments, Char pulls me into the apartment and I’m dying to get my hands on hers, my mouth on hers, and spend the rest of the night holding her close against my body. I sense the moment is right and we are beginning to share the connection we both feel but she suddenly backs away. She suggests we get the things from the Jeep. She says I should call Derrick I let him know I’m staying the night.
At first I’m confused, but once she tells me she wants me here I know this is where I will stay.
This man is a gem, he has helped me unload the Jeep and put the roof back on for me.
"You are something else Riley. To think that a week ago today I heard your deep, raspy voice for the first time. And now you’re sitting in my living room."
"Well you know what they say, everything happens for a reason. I think maybe we were supposed to meet like that. Makes the conversation of how we met that much more exciting." He says with a grin.
How did this happen so fast? How can I have these feelings for this man so quickly? Is it wrong that I want to beg him to stay with me forever?
"We'll I don't know about you, but I could sure as hell use a shower. Do you mind if I use your bathroom right quick?"
"Of course, go ahead. Is there anything you need?"
"Nah, Derrick conveniently left my bag in the Jeep. I’ll be right out."
Oh god how I wish I could be in that shower with him right now. I can imagine running my hands up and down his lean body, ugh I can't stand it. I need to touch him and have him touch me.
As soon as Riley comes out of the bathroom, I am ready to switch places so that I can freshen up as well.
The door opens and Riley walks out in a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt. I just about die from the look of him, but I need to make my way into the shower before I start something I don't want to stop.
As I pass him, I let him know I opened a beer and set out snacks if he gets hungry.
I try to take the quickest shower known to man and within record time I’ve shaven my legs scrubbed the day away feeling fresh and clean.
I am nervous to go out there. It’s not as if I’ve never been with a man before, but for some reason being with Riley could be different.
Having experienced heartbreak, and an ending to a relationship I thought was going well, it makes it hard to trust again.
I want so badly to trust Riley and start something great with him, but what if he hurts me too?
What if I’m not enough for him and he goes on without me like Marc did? Too many awful things happened to me after I had the 'Marc' meltdown. Not only did I lose my boyfriend and best friend, but I lost all my friends in the break up.
Fuck! What I wouldn't do to have a girlfriend to confide in and offer helpful advice. I could always turn to Chloe but she is so self absorbed right now that the conversation would somehow turn to her. I know Derrick would lend an ear, but to talk about my love life just seems weird; especially because right now it involves his roommate Riley.
I have so many reservations going into another relationship and this is why I haven’t dated anyone in a year.
Maybe this was a bad idea flirting with Riley and asking him to stay here.
Oh god what was I thinking? Well of course I know I wasn’t thinking with my brain. Instead my sex drive took over and I am in a situation with this gorgeous man.
Ugh, I'm such a nut case.
In order to avoid an awkward evening, I’ll just go back out to the living room. I can gather pillows and a blanket for him, and wish him a good night.
Yes, that will work.
Shit what is taking her so long in the bathroom? The water shut off 20 minutes ago. Should I check on her? Did she fall asleep on the toilet or worse did she fall and hit her head?
That's it! I’m giving her five more minutes and I’m knocking down the damn door. I can barely wait another second to see her again and put my arms around her, to touch her.
I crave her touch and I’m not sure what is going on with this attraction I have for her. I haven’t felt this way about any other woman.
Char is beautiful, smart, funny, and I love the way our bodies communicate with one another. It’s as if she was made for me.
I’ve had my share of relationships, but no woman has ever sent shivers through me like Char does.
I hear the bathroom door open and I snap out of my trance.
Standing to walk in her direction, she storms right past me.
What the fuck! Did I do something to piss her off? Where is she going? Am I supposed to follow her?
"Hey Char? What are ya doing babe? You want me to grab you a beer or pour you a glass of wine?"
I begin to walk in the direction of her bedroom and she bolts out with her arms full of pillows and a blanket.
"I’m sorry, were you saying something? I was in the closet and couldn't hear you that well." She says in a soft tone.
What is she doing? Are these for me? Does she expect me to sleep out here on her couch?
"Char? Babe are you ok?" I ask as a whisper.
I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m worried I did or said something. I don't know how to fix it.
"Yea, I’m fine. I’m just sleepy from being on the lake today, so I thought I’d set you up out here. Will these pillows and blanket be enough for you?"
She is talking to me or more like at me, but won't look me in the eye. What the hell is going on?
I walk over to her and take the bedding from her arms. I hold onto her waist with one arm and lift her chin with my right hand so that her eyes are looking into mine.
In this moment I want to kiss her more than anything, but something is not right and I must figure out what it is and how I can fix it.
Her body begins to tremble and I pull her harder against me.
"Riley don't, please." She can barely get the words out of her mouth. I think she’s going to cry.
"Baby, whatever I did to upset you I’m so sorry. I thought today was perfect and I enjoyed every minute I spent with you. I do understand though if you don’t feel the same. I’m fine to sleep out here on the couch. Go ahead and tuck yourself into bed and I’ll have Derrick come get me in the morning."
It hurt to say that to her, but I sure as hell won't push her into anything.
"Thank you Riley. I’m sorry for leading you on like this; it wasn’t right of me. I just have personal issues I need to deal with and right now isn’t a good time. Can we still be friends?"
Oh my fucking god, she just tore out my heart and beat it with Derrick's stupid fucking hammer.
"Yea Char I get it, it’s fine. Go to bed babe, I’ll see you later, o
k?"
"Will you be here when I wake up? I can make us breakfast." She says.
"I doubt it. I don't think it’s a good idea if we see each other for a little while. Come on now get in bed and sleep well Char. Thank you for today. It was probably one of the best days I’ve ever had and I’m glad I spent it with you."
With that I let her go. I take my hands from her trembling body and turn my back on her. Knowing that I won’t be falling asleep, I watch for her bedroom light to go out, and send a text to Derrick asking him to come get me.
Fuck, this is not how I pictured this night ending and I’m going to have to explain it to Derrick.
The moment I walk away I regret my actions. I could tell by his facial expression that he was hurting, but I didn't know if or how deep his feelings went for me. As much as it hurts now, it’s best that I end this lustful charade before someone gets hurt.
I’m not the type of person who can to do a relationship and that’s something he wants and deserves.
Riley just doesn't know it yet and once he finds someone else, he will realize I made the right choice.
I settle my thoughts and listen to see what Riley is doing. I can hear his footsteps walking around in the apartment and a part of me wants to run out there and just touch him.
I feel better, no more like I feel whole when I am touching him, but this will never work.
"What was that?" I say aloud without even realizing it.
The sound of the door shutting startles me from my thoughts.
Did Riley just leave?
Not that I blame him after what I just did, but I thought he would have at least stayed the night.
I get out of bed and head for my bedroom door. Luckily I was sleeping in a tee-shirt and shorts, after all Riley was right out in the living room. I was not about to take a chance of sleep-walking in my intimate apparel.
I make my way out to the living room to find the blankets and pillows still folded in a pile and no Riley. I walk around in a stupor. I’m confused, but I know what happened. This is entirely my fault. I pushed him away because of my lack of confidence in making a relationship work.
I can't even call him to see if he’s okay because we never exchanged numbers. It’s better this way. I told him I had issues and he said it was best we not see each other for a while.
"God I’m a fucking idiot." I mumble into the pillow.
I do a double take and sniff at the pillow. Oh my god the pillow smells like Riley. I’m a moron, an absolute lost cause that has no clue how to start, keep, or even handle a relationship. Charlotte Jayde Taylor what the hell is wrong with you?
I set down the pillow and walk to the kitchen for a bottle of water. Walking past my small dinette I see a folded piece of paper.
Hmm, what is this? I don't remember putting this here or seeing it earlier.
I grab the paper and open it; it’s a note from Riley.
My hands tremble as I read the note Riley has left for me.
Char,
I hate having to leave while you are sleeping. I hate leaving at all, but I felt it was best to go before I came in there after you. I don't think you know what an impact you have made on me this past week. Something about you has my mind a mess and knowing the feelings are not mutual is a punch to my heart. I hope that after time we can be friends as you wish, but for now it’s best if we focus on our personal lives. Thanks again for today it really was one of the best days of my life.
Yours,
Riley
Reading Riley's words hurt and this was a feeling I knew too well. I need a distraction and I need one fast. This is something that seems to be happening quite often to rid me of my Riley obsession.
I look over to the wall clock and see that it’s only 11. I grab one of the blankets, the pillow that smells amazing, and my phone. I plop myself on the soft leather couch and search through my favorite contacts. It’s time to plan a trip to visit Chloe. Living it up in Los Angeles with my big sis is exactly what I need to overcome my nonexistent love life and forget Riley.
Thank goodness Derrick replies to my text quickly. In 10 minutes he’s out in front of Char's place and I’m heading downstairs.
I throw my bag in the backseat and jump into the front next to Derrick. He’s looking at me with a frown on his face and I’m just waiting for him to begin the interrogation. Damn lawyer.
"Come on man, tell me what went down." He asks while looking straight ahead toward the road.
"Honestly Derrick, I haven't a damn clue what just happened. One moment she was in my arms, the next she said we should go unload the Jeep."
"Maybe you pushed her too far too fast. Didn't I warn you to take things slow with her? I told you I’d fuck you up if you hurt her, didn't I?" Derrick said as he glances at me and back at the road.
"Nah, there’s no way. I was taking the day nice and slow. I followed her pace. I know I didn’t rush her or push her into anything. In fact she told me she wanted me to stay."
“I don't know what to tell you bro, but I’ll be asking her for serious details tomorrow at breakfast."
"Wait, what? You are going over there for breakfast? When did she call and invite you?" I ask in a panicked tone.
"Relax Romeo; this is an ongoing thing we have scheduled every Sunday morning. It’s tradition. Besides don't get jealous of me, she’s like my kid sister."
"Ok fucktard, I’m not accusing you of anything, I’m just pissed how this night is turning out. I sure as hell didn’t see having a heart to heart with you as the ending to my day."
"Fine I’ll let it go but I will get to the bottom of this. I thought for sure after today you two would’ve been hitting it off or on or whatever."
Yea I sure was hoping to be with her right now too. God all I want to do is touch her.
"Really Derrick it’s cool. I respect that she doesn’t want more than a friendship with me and I’m fine with that. It’s best anyway; I got to get my focus on for this new job. I don't need any distractions."
Even though I was acting tough with Derrick, I was torn up about the way things went down between me and Char tonight. The worst part was I had no clue what the hell I did wrong.
Derrick and I arrive at his house and to avoid any more conversation I go straight up to my room. It was already 11:30, but I didn't think I’d be getting to sleep anytime soon.
Things were starting to go so well for me too. I needed to get Char out of my thoughts and fast.
I don't know how to go about getting her off of my mind, but the pain I felt as she pushed me away was something I’ve never had to go through. I’ve never been a bitch about a woman before, but this chick dug in her claws and left me with marks.
I guess it’s time to find myself a distraction, at least for now. Tomorrow I will go out and get things for work and Monday I start my new career. Now that is something to look forward to and to help me get my mind on the right track.
Because I’d already showered and was in my comfy clothes I figure I’d just kick back with Manny and watch something on the tube.
Within no time my eyelids begin to get heavy; I guess I was tired.
I was lucky to get on the same flight with my mom and dad heading to Los Angeles, but the questions they have for me are not topics of conversation I want to deal with.
I already feel like shit for blowing Derrick off for breakfast yesterday. Not to mention I had to call and ask my boss for a week's vacation at the last minute.
Neither of them seemed to mind, but I still felt I was letting someone down by picking up and leaving. I’m not spontaneous. I’m a bit out of character here, but to hell with it. I’m a grown woman and can surely go with the flow and take a vacation to see my sister whenever I want.
"So baby girl, tell us, why the sudden plans to make the trip to see Chloe?" My dad asks as he turns to face my way.
Fuck, I don't want to talk about this.
"Well I just figure since you guys were going, why can't I? Honestly I haven't taken mu
ch time off since I started at the firm. I was well due time off." I say with a small smile.
Dad will buy my act, but since Mom is looking at me like she is, I can tell the wheels are spinning.
"So how well do you know Riley Kincaid?" Dad asks.
Jesus Christ Daddy, shut up and stop asking me questions.
"Like I told you Friday, we just met through Derrick. There really is nothing to tell you about Daddy."
I try my best to play this cool since Mom is watching me like a hawk. I bend and grab my iPad at my feet and plug in my headphones. Maybe this will give Dad a clue to stop asking me questions.
I open up my Kindle app and start to read where I left off. Since I don't have any romance in my life, I figure I might as well get it in my books.
We land in LA with a huge thump, way to go pilot. Oh well at least we are here safe and in one piece. Chloe will be so happy to see me when I come through the tunnel. Mom thought it would be fun to keep my trip a secret and wow Chloe with my arrival. I know she won't be expecting me, so this will be fun.
I follow Mom and Dad out of the plan and through the smelly tunnel into the airport. I can see Chloe from a distance, but I know she won't recognize me right away. I’m totally out of my style element wearing a leather jacket, a long rocker tee-shirt, and skinny jeans. And just to add a little flare I have my dark black shades on. I’m incognito.
As Mom and Dad begin to approach Chloe, I go around them so I can come up behind her. I watch as the three of them give each other big hugs and then I attack
"Ahh! What the hell?" Chloe screams drawing attention from the nearby passengers.
I pull my hands off her eyes and turn her to face me. She’s still a bit in shock, but when she realizes it’s me she lets out yet another loud scream...this time right in my ear.
"What is going on here? Am I being punk'd?" She asks with a giggle while strangling me.
"No you are not being punk'd loser, you are way not famous enough for that." I say as I try to get out of her grasp.