I sat silent for a moment, trying to process everything I’ve just learned. “Now what?”
“I wanted to be sure I was right before I called you in. We brought Bob Stevens in last night and told him everything we had on him, and possibly told him we had things we didn’t really have on him.” He takes my hand. “He confessed to everything. We have his statement and he’s behind bars, where I have no doubt he’ll stay for a very long time.”
“What about Mark—” Before I can continue, Detective James cuts me off.
“We picked him up this morning and charged him with accessory to attempted murder, among many other things that will keep him locked up—possibly even longer than Bob.”
“So it’s over,” I say in disbelief.
“I have no doubt we have our men. They’re sure to fight it, and the shit end of this is you’re most likely going to have to testify, but we’ll do everything we can to get you through this as quickly and painless as possible.”
“Thank you,” I say in a daze and walk out of his office, in shock over what I heard.
I didn’t realize how scared I still was that the person who did this to me was still out there. Knowing they can no longer hurt me brings such an overwhelming feeling of relief that I burst into tears the second I get into my car.
The first thing I do is pick up my phone and send a message to Jamie.
Me: It’s over
It takes a second for him to respond.
Jamie: Stay there.
Me: I’m coming to you. I need to see you.
I jump when a shadow comes up to my window.
“Jamie,” I say in disbelief when he opens my car door and pulls me out of the car and into his arms. “You’re here?” I say, freefalling in his loving green eyes.
“Did you really think I’d let you do this all alone?” He brushes my tears from my face with his thumb.
I look up at him and let my heart guide me. I lift up on my toes and press my lips to his for the first time in fifteen years, and the feeling takes my breath away. It’s as if this one kiss is the final missing piece to my broken heart. “I love you.”
He looks down at me. “A stór. Nothing has ever sounded sweeter.” This time he kisses me and I let him, taking in the pleasure he fills me with. He smiles down at me after a moment of me in his arms. “Is this a one-time thing, or am I allowed to kiss you all the time now? Because if this is a one-time thing…”
I laugh and cut him off with a kiss, showing him rather than answer.
When Lex kissed me today, it was as if the heavens opened and all of my dreams came true. I loved Lex longer than I’ve loved anyone, and now that she’s ready to move forward, and I’m getting the second chance I’ve always hoped for, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure she knows how loved and cherished she is.
For so long I tried to control love as a way to protect others and myself from the pain that comes with heartbreak. Only, I wasn’t protecting anyone from anything. If anything, I muted the happiness that my heart was screaming for. I’ve learned you can’t control the heart. The heart is more powerful than any thought or any other muscle in our bodies. By ignoring the heart, we ignore any chance of happiness.
Although I wanted to take Lex home and make the dreams that have kept me up many sleepless nights a reality, I had the opening of our restaurant to prepare for. Yes, I said our restaurant because nothing I have is worth anything without Lex and her boys in it. I’d waited outside the police station for an hour and spent another hour listening to the twisted web that Lex got herself caught up in because of Mike’s selfishness.
Nothing matters more to me tonight than making it perfect for Lex. This place will always hold a special place in our hearts, but the opening is more than just another business starting up. It’s a symbol for Lex and I, starting over, and finding each other again.
The past six months have been harder than any of the others I spent with her in California for the simple fact that I agreed to give her time and space to get her life back on track. I know she loves me. I know she wants me in her future. And knowing that and not being able to do anything about it has been about the closest thing to torture that I’ve ever experienced. Every night I went to bed thinking of her and every morning I woke up with a reminder that she’s all I dream about. When she kissed me today, I was pretty sure I would have lost everything right there in the parking lot if I didn’t have one piece of self-control hidden away for a moment like that. If being inside her again feels half as good as her lips on mine did, I’m in trouble.
I burst through the door of Rising Moon to see Lee and Frank ordering people around, as Tommy is behind the bar taking inventory. “She loves me,” I proclaim. They all look at me as if I’m a jackass.
“Duh.” Lee walks over to me and puts a menu in my hand. “Now get over here and taste the dishes to make sure they’re what you want for tonight.”
I stop her. “She kissed me.” I’m shocked that no one finds this news as exciting as me. “Do you know what that means?” I look between Frank and Tommy.
“That you’ll stop jerking off every time she leaves,” Frank says sarcastically, making them all laugh.
“Seriously, Jamie, that’s great and all, but I’ve been working here all day while you’ve been making out with my best friend. I’m not even getting paid.”
“I’ll pay you later, baby,” Frank jokes again.
“You all suck.” I throw the menu at Frank, not letting their sarcasm ruin my mood.
“Why’d you run out of here anyway?” Tommy asks.
“They caught Lex’s shooter.” They all freeze.
Lee and Frank start barking out orders as they pull me back into the kitchen and I spend the next half hour filling them in on everything I knew, which I’m sure wasn’t the half of it, while we sampled the delicious food for the night and planned my surprise.
I asked Lex to come as soon as she could so that I could show her the finished product of the mind-child that her assistants I hired after the accident followed to a T. She calls me when she arrives in the parking lot, just as I asked, allowing me to give her my first surprise.
I walk out the doors just as she’s getting out of her car and she takes my breath away. Her silhouette against the sunset on the ocean behind her made this moment seem more like my dreams than reality. She is wearing a bright blue flowing sundress that matches her eyes perfectly, and her long brown hair wildly waves in the evening breeze. I hardly notice the scars on her face anymore, and remind her every day how beautiful she is, and I mean it. She’s beautiful inside and out, and nothing will ever change that for me. When she walks up to me and I take her in my arms, kissing her gently, it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Inside, I’m wishing she chose any other night than tonight to let me kiss her for the first time, because I can’t get enough of her.
“Hello.” I nip at her lip.
“Hey.” Her face flushes red, letting me know our kiss affected her the same way it has me.
We smile at each other as if we have a secret and I take her hand in mine to lead her inside. The walls are all lined with driftwood and gray accents, giving a feeling of her shore life back home that she captured expertly. Her eyes followed all the details of the waiting room, and I can almost see the mental checklist I know she is going through in her head. This is as much her baby as it is mine. I know she sees my first surprise when her eyes are drawn to something that makes her pause.
On the far wall of the entryway to the dining area are two large pictures framed in silver Celtic knots: one she saw in New Jersey that made her run away and the other she had only heard about. I had the print that hung in my pub in Ireland blown up and placed here, next to its match. I wanted her to see the picture I had planned to give her long ago. I had hoped she would understand my intentions when she saw this picture, knowing its plan for her. Her eyes filled with tears as she made her way over to the pictures and examined them carefully.
“Is t
his one yours?” She runs her fingers over our hands in the picture from my home.
“It’s the moment I made you a promise I’ve waited too long to fulfill.” I walk up behind her and turn her so that her attention is on me.
I reach in my pocket and pull out the ring I gave her that day so long ago.
“Jamie.” She looks at me in disbelief.
“This belongs to you. It always has and always will.”
She stares at the ring with tears in her eyes. “Jamie.” She repeats my name, at a loss for words.
I take her hand and hold the ring out to her. “Only this time I want you to wear this not only as a promise to love you forever, but as my promise to marry you. Will you marry me, Lex?”
Lex smiles brightly through her tears. “We started dating two hours ago. Aren’t you afraid this is a little fast?”
“I’ve loved you longer than I’ve ever loved anyone. I’d marry you right this second if you’d take me.”
She shakes her head at me. “You’re crazy.” She pops up on her toes and kisses me fiercely. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Those four words are all it takes for our family and friends hiding away around the corner to begin clapping and cheering. Lex looks up at me, shocked to see her boys with Lee and Rita, her father, and Frank and Tommy all running toward us.
“That would’ve been really embarrassing if you’d have said no.” I slip the ring back where it belonged all along. “I promise I’ll spend every day making you feel loved.” I kiss her smiling lips. “I can’t wait to make you my wife.”
“Your wife?” she says, trying it out. “I love the sound of that.”
Jamie is clutching my hand so tightly that I’m beginning to lose all feeling in my fingers. Still, I only smile up at his adoring face as he watches the screen as if he’s acutely aware of what he’s looking at.
He has no idea.
“Well, Mrs. and Mr. McCullen, it looks like you are having twin girls.”
“Girls,” Jamie gasps, as if it’s a dream come true.
And it is.
“It’s just like my dream…right before you left,” I say in awe as Jamie looks at me as if I’m the most amazing creature in the world to him.
“And my dad’s dream he had the day he passed.” Jamie kisses me and presses his forehead against mine with tears in his eyes. “You’ve given me everything I’ve ever dreamed of, Lex. Thank you.”
When Jamie places a kiss on my wedding ring, it brings me back to that beautiful spring morning two years ago. When Jamie proposed, it was one of the best moments of my life, and I had no doubt that he was the person I was supposed to be with forever, which is why we decided to wait to get married until the trial for my shooting was over and my boys were just as sure about our happily ever after as we were.
It took almost a year before the trial even started, but luckily it all went smoothly and both men were put away for a long time. Mark Paulson’s involvement in my shooting was nothing compared to the weapons, tax evasion, and drug charges they had on him. When it was all said and done, both he and his conspirators will be in jail for the next thirty years to life.
I went to every day of the trial for Bob Stevens, wanting to know all the details of what happened that night. It’s all still blanketed with such a fog that I don’t know if I’ll ever have memories about that night again, but for now, I’m okay with that. Having to hear the details of the confrontation between Mike and Stephanie again was difficult to hear, because the pain of their betrayal is still so raw. The way they both manipulated my emotions and made me feel like I was going crazy was almost as violating as being shot, but their consequences were much different.
Stephanie lost her practice when the trial began and the case was made public. She tried in vain to make a relationship with Mike, but he was too distraught about the direction his life had taken and the results of his selfish actions that there was no way for them to work out. Mike wound up selling the construction company and doing what I’d always hoped he’d do: he moved back to New York to be with his family and start over.
Once the trial was over, Mike’s move left Jamie and me able to take the boys with us and also relocate closer to my dad. Although we weren’t married yet, we packed up our places in California and bought a home in Mattawan so that Jamie would be close enough to commute to the city, and I could easily visit my dad and have the boys visit their dad.
My biggest concern through all of this was how my boys were handling all of this change. It’s a scary thing to know your mom was shot by a stranger, and that compounded with my divorce and a move across the country is like putting their life in a snow globe and shaking it up to see where the pieces will land. Colin had the hardest time with adjusting to it all, and it’s probably because he was old enough to understand the changes more than Liam. Liam was just excited to be moving to someplace where it snowed and he got to see his grandpa and dad more often.
Having Jamie in our lives was the easy part, and that made me fall in love with him so completely, it was life changing. The boys connected with Jamie right away, as if he’s been in their lives forever. He coached their football teams, was home for dinner almost every night, played family game night every Friday night, and read them stories before bed. The security and consistency he provided for them was something I never knew they craved as much as I did. I probably would’ve been fine going along living my life this way with our little unconventional family set up forever if it wasn’t for the boys continually asking me when I was going to marry Jamie.
So, on a beautiful spring morning, Jamie and I were married. It was simple and perfect, with only my dad, Lee and Frank, and the boys there with us. To Jamie and me, we already felt married, and the ceremony was more for the boys than anything.
I wore a flowing white bohemian strapless dress and had my hair in loose curls, held back with a single golden clip. It was a much different wedding than my first, and that’s why I loved it so much more. There were no wedding jitters, no doubts, no hesitation whatsoever. There was only excitement and happiness. When I met Jamie on the boardwalk and walked hand in hand with the boys, barefoot through the sand, to my dad and our friends, my breath was taken away by the overwhelming joy of the moment. Jamie looked at me with his powerful green eyes and confident smile and I had no words to express to him how happy he’s made me.
When the ceremony was over, Jamie swept me up in his arms and kissed me passionately. “Hello, wife.” His dimples beamed as he smiled.
“Hello, husband,” I answered, more in love than ever.
Just then, Jamie pointed above. “For you.” He pointed to the words written for us in the sky.
The words looked like white clouds scattering a heavenly message in the bright blue morning sky to form our phrase: One Love, Everlasting; The New McCullen Family.
The boys began to cheer as the plane finished the last word. Lee and Frank were high-fiving them, all moved by the touching message Jamie made for us. I looked up at Jamie and wondered how we got back here, and can only think of fate.
Our hearts were only ever meant for each other, and as much as life tried as hard as it could to keep our hearts apart, it couldn’t.
“I love you so much, Jamie. I can’t believe we did it. You’re really mine forever.” I kissed him deeply.
“I’ve always been yours, Lex. Always,” he whispered through our kiss.
Our embrace was interrupted by laughter, making us break our kiss to see what we were missing. Our boys were standing at the water’s edge with Lee on one side and my dad on the other, splashing around and playing while Frank and we looked on. I remember thinking it wasn’t exactly like our dream, but it was almost as perfect. I was more in love than I ever thought possible and the love that I had for Jamie when we were teenagers, that I had always told myself would be impossible to ever match again, has been multiplied in a way that was unimaginable.
I remember looking into the sky and thinking of our moms, knowing there??
?d never be a way to make my dream complete, but that the way my life has ended up is as close to perfection as I could have ever dreamed of.
Now, sitting here in the doctor’s office with Jamie, knowing that we’d be having the girls of our dreams, it seemed as if life is complete. I place his strong hands on my belly and don’t hesitate with my decision. “Maureen and Mary.” I say the names of our mothers and he freezes.
He leans down and places a loving kiss on my belly and whispers to them, “A stórs. Maureen and Mary.”
Walking out of the appointment that day, hand in hand with Jamie, made me believe that anything in life is possible. I believe that the impossible is possible as long as you never give up on your dreams, but most importantly to always listen to your heart.
Anything is possible when you don’t give up on love.
This story is one that has been simmering in my mind for a few years now. I would have never been able to get it completed without the support of my husband. There were endless nights after work and weekends that I spent researching and writing this story, all while he cheered me on and encouraged me to get the voices out of my head and on to paper.
A giant thank you for the support and feedback from my amazing friends Jenn Hawkins and Shannon Daniels. Jenn, your opinions and honest feedback are so valuable and appreciated, I can’t thank you enough. I love our book talk and can’t wait to meet you in person! Shannon, you’re messages are something I always look forward to and your kindness is something that is so unique and special. I am so glad to have you as my friend. Thank you for all you do to help me promote my books and being my cheerleader!