‘What colour eyeshadow would Madam like?’ Mum asked, but as Connie was choosing there was a cry from downstairs. Then another.
Mum looked at Connie. Connie looked at Mum.
‘Well, they’ll just have to cry for five minutes. We’re busy,’ said Mum.
She made up one of Connie’s eyes very carefully, while the crying continued downstairs.
‘It’s okay, Mum. I’ll do the other one,’ said Connie. ‘You’d better go and feed the twins again.’
‘They’re going to get as fat as elephants at this rate,’ said Mum. ‘They’ll be growing trunks and trumpeting next. Sorry to interrupt the game, Connie. Here, tell you what – why don’t you phone Karen and ask her to come round and play dressing up with you?’
‘Oh yes,’ said Connie. And then she remembered. ‘Oh no,’ she said instead.
‘What’s up?’ said Mum.
‘Karen and I aren’t friends any more,’ said Connie.
‘Well, why don’t you phone her up and make friends?’ said Mum.
‘I’m not sure she likes me any more. And anyway, she’s probably playing round at that awful Angela’s,’ said Connie. ‘She wants to be her friend now.’
‘Why can’t you all be friends?’ said Mum.
Connie raised her newly painted eyebrow expressively.
But she rang Karen all the same. She felt shy and squirmy inside at first, as if Karen was a stranger.
‘Do you want to come round to my house to play?’ she blurted out. She was worried Karen might say no or make some excuse. But Karen seemed quite happy about the idea, thank goodness.
‘Bring some dressing-up clothes and some of your mum’s old make-up,’ said Connie. She was about to hang up the phone. She hesitated. ‘And you can bring Angela, too, if you really want.’
‘She’s gone off to her ballet class. She’s a bit miffed with me, actually. I accidentally kicked her when I was copying one of those twiddly things she does with her leg stuck out, and she didn’t half carry on about it. I think she takes all that dancing stuff far too seriously.’
Karen only lived ten minutes’ walk away so she and Connie were soon playing dressing-up. They didn’t take it seriously at all. They strutted around in long frocks and smiled silly smiles and shrieked with laughter at each other’s antics. It didn’t matter about making a noise because the twins were awake anyway, being fed and changed.
‘Can I have a quick look at them?’ asked Karen, when it was time for her to go home.
She’d already seen the twins when they came straight from the hospital and had privately agreed with Connie that they didn’t look a patch on her baby sister Susie.
But now when Karen saw Claire and Charles, temporarily pink and peaceful in Mum’s arms, she seemed impressed.
‘Oh, don’t they look sweet like that!’ Karen whispered.
‘Sweet?’ Connie whispered back, staring at her baby brother and sister.
‘You are lucky, Connie. I wish Susie had been twins,’ said Karen. ‘Look at them, they’re as good as gold. I thought you said they cried all the time.’
‘They do, don’t they, Mum?’ said Connie.
‘It certainly seems like it,’ said Mum. ‘You’re not good at all, are you, twins? You’re big bad babies who bully us something rotten.’
Baby Claire and baby Charles blinked blue eyes, all innocence.
Karen laughed and said goodbye. ‘If you’re late to school again tomorrow I’ll wait for you,’ said Karen. ‘I won’t be Angela’s partner again. I’ve gone off her.’
‘I was scared you might have gone off me,’ said Connie. ‘We are still best friends, aren’t we, Karen?’
‘You bet, bestest friends ever,’ said Karen.
They linked little fingers and vowed that they would never break friends again.
9. Growly Bears
Dad was very late home. The car had broken down and he was in a bad mood because it was going to cost a lot of money to get it mended.
‘Karen’s dad’s got a new car,’ said Connie.
‘ Well, your dad’s got to make do with a very very old car,’ said Dad, bitterly.
‘It would be nice to have a new car,’ said Connie. She was simply making conversation but it seemed to irritate Dad.
‘Well, we can’t have a new car so there’s no point asking,’ said Dad, though Connie had done no such thing. Then he took a close look at her. ‘What’s all that muck on your face, Connie?’
‘Make-up, Dad.’
‘Make-up? Whatever’s going on? You’re much much too young to wear make-up!’
‘It’s just for dressing up, Dad. I wouldn’t wear it out.’
‘You go and give your face a wash this minute.’
‘Oh, Dad. It looks lovely. I want to leave it on. And Karen’s mum lets her wear pink lip gloss even when she goes out.’
‘Connie.’ Dad was starting to look very cross. ‘I don’t want to hear another word about Karen. Or Karen’s mum. Or Karen’s dad. Or any other member of Karen’s family.’
‘Karen’s baby sister, Susie,’ said Connie helpfully, because she was the only one Dad hadn’t mentioned.
Dad didn’t find this helpful. He seemed to think she was being deliberately cheeky.
‘That’s enough,’ he said, firmly. ‘Go and wash your face at once. And then get ready for bed.’
‘But it’s not my bedtime yet!’ said Connie, indignantly. ‘Mum, it’s not fair, Dad says I’ve got to go to bed and yet it’s not my bedtime for another twenty minutes.’
‘If you’re not upstairs in twenty seconds then you will seriously regret it, young lady,’ Dad bellowed.
His shouts seriously upset the twins, who both started bawling.
Connie practically burst into tears herself. Her face was all screwed up as she ran up the stairs, and when she was in the bathroom a few tears spurted down her cheeks. Blue tears, because of the blue eyeshadow still on her eyelids. The shiny blue tears made her remember her two shiny blue beads.
‘It’s not fair,’ Connie said, sniffling. ‘Dad can shout all he wants and wake up the babies and he doesn’t get told off. And I’ve got into trouble over nothing! I was being good, for goodness sake. It wouldn’t be so bad if I was being bad, but I wasn’t!’
She twiddled the beads in her little plait and they clinked together.
There was a blue flash in the bathroom. Then a knock at the door. Two knocks.
‘Who’s that?’ said Connie – although she knew perfectly well who it was going to be.
But there was no answer. The knocking got louder. There was a sort of scratching at the door. And then a growl.
‘What’s that?’ Connie called,
shivering.
‘A great big ferocious growly bear coming to hug you to death!’
‘Two big ferocious growly bears coming to gobble up their little girl!’
The bathroom door burst open and Connie squealed as twin dads rushed into the room, growling and grunting.
‘Grrrr!’ ‘Grrrr!’ ‘Help! Don’t! Oooh! Tee-heeeee!’ Connie screamed, as they picked her up in their pretend paws and tickled her with their pretend claws.
‘Connie? What’s the matter? Why are you screaming? Hang on, Dad’s coming!’ Dad shouted from downstairs.
He came running into the bathroom and bumped right into the twin dads and Connie.
‘Get off my daughter!’ Dad yelled, and he tried to drag Connie free.
‘She’s our daughter, too!’ ‘We’re having a game. Connie loves a romp, don’t you, darling?’
‘You haven’t played with Connie for ages.’
‘You just get cross with her when the poor kid hasn’t even done anything.’
‘I don’t know what you two creeps are playing at, but I’m Connie’s father!’ Dad shouted.
‘We’re playing growly bears, eh, Connie? Grrrr!’
‘And you call yourself a father, when you’re no fun at all. Grrrr!’
‘Will you stop this! G
et away from my Connie. Get out of this bathroom, do you hear?’ Dad bellowed, and he tried to push them out.
It was a mistake. The twin dads were quite a bit bigger and they had much broader shoulders.
‘Who are you shoving, eh?’
‘Getting all hot and bothered! You need to cool down a bit.’
They picked Dad up and tipped him in the bath.
‘I’ll hold him down while you turn on the tap!’
‘He could do with a swim!’
‘Don’t. Really,’ said Connie.
‘I don’t know why you’re sticking up for him. He never sticks up for you.’
‘And he hasn’t taken you for a proper swim for ages, has he?’
‘It’s not Dad’s fault,’ said Connie. She couldn’t bear to see Dad stuck in the bath like that. ‘Here, Dad. I’ll help you out,’ she said, and she took hold of his hands and pulled with all her might.
Dad shot upwards so rapidly that Connie fell backwards, bowling the twin dads over.
‘Connie? Are you all right?’ Dad asked, picking her up and hugging her even harder than a big ferocious growly bear.
The twin dads went on bowling right out of the bathroom, down the stairs, out of the door, out of sight.
10. Baby Blue-Eyes
Dad tucked Connie up in bed that night. He pretended she was still little and tucked all her old dolls and her big battered teddy in with her. He made the dolls talk in silly little twittery voices and he made the teddy growl. The growling made both of them look up and check the door, just to make sure no one else was coming to join in the game.
‘It’s just us, Dad,’ said Connie. ‘And Mum downstairs.’
‘And the babies,’ said Dad.
‘Yep. The twins,’ said Connie.
‘I suppose it’s been very weird for you, Connie. I bet it must have seemed like the twins were taking over at times,’ said Dad.
‘Mmm,’ said Connie.
‘I think it’ll take a while before we all get used to being a family of five. We’re all tired out at the moment because the little blighters keep us awake half the night, but once they get a bit older it should get easier. If more expensive,’ said Dad, sighing a little.
‘Poor Dad. It’s not fair you’ve got to work more.’
‘Oh, I’ll manage. Though I do miss our Saturday morning swim. Tell you what, Connie. How about if we go swimming on Sunday mornings instead? Just you and me. Would you like that?’
‘You bet,’ said Connie.
‘Night night then, poppet,’ said Dad.
Mum tiptoed in from the twins’ room to say goodnight, too. She sat on one side of Connie’s bed, and Dad sat on the other. They had a grand family cuddle, just like they had in the old days. Before the twins.
Perhaps Charles and Claire felt left out. There was a little snorty sound. A snuffle. And then two plaintive cries.
‘Oh-oh,’ said Mum.
‘Oh-oh,’ said Dad.
‘Oh-oh,’ said Connie.
They all laughed, and then Mum and Dad went off to deal with a twin each and Connie curled up and went to sleep. She’d forgotten to undo the little plait. As she turned this way and that the beads bumped her head and stuck in uncomfortably. Connie mumbled in her sleep and fiddled with her plait. One blue bead slid off. Then the other. The plait unravelled and the two beads rolled across the pillow, off the bed, over the rug and disappeared down a crack in the floorboards.
Connie woke up early the next morning. She could hear an occasional car going by in the road outside. She could hear a few sparrows singing in the garden. She could hear the hum of a milk float. She could hear Dad snoring in the room further down the landing. She could hear Mum sigh sleepily as she turned over in bed. But she couldn’t hear anything else.
She couldn’t hear the twins. They’d both been roaring their heads off long before this, yesterday. Connie waited. Still no sound. Not a wail, not a whimper. She sat up in bed and scratched her head. Her fingers slipped through her hair. She realised the plait had gone, and the two blue beads. The beads had proved very magical indeed, after all.
Connie remembered what she had half wished when Nurse Meade first gave her the beads . . . She wondered if she might accidentally have clinked them together in the night. Maybe the beads could really take away twins as well as adding them?
Connie shot out of bed and ran into the twins’ room. She charged to their cots, feeling sick with terror. Just for a moment she couldn’t spot the two small heads on their pillows. But then she blinked and the teary blur went and she saw Claire in one cot, Charles in the other.
Connie skidded to a halt, breathing a huge sigh of relief. It only made a little whistling sound in the room but it was enough to waken one of the babies. Claire. She made a tiny yowling sound like a kitten and opened her eyes. They were big and blue, almost as blue as the beads. They seemed to be looking right up at Connie.
‘Hello, little sister,’ Connie whispered.
Charles woke up, too. He did it differently, screwing up his face and smacking his small lips together before opening his eyes. They were big and bead-blue, too, and they blinked when Connie bent over him.
‘Hello, little brother,’ Connie whispered.
She waited for them to start crying. But they seemed surprisingly content to lie on their backs and look at her. Connie looked back at them.
‘Maybe you’re not so bad after all, little babies,’ said Connie.
She stood between the cots, letting her hands dangle. She gently stroked their poor little bald heads. She felt very soft down. Maybe they’d soon get to be curly after all. She touched their tiny button noses and tickled them under their chins. They didn’t laugh but they looked as if they wanted to, if they only knew how. Then she played with their small starfish hands. Claire gripped her tightly round the left little finger. Charles clung to her right little finger, his fist clenched.
‘Make friends?’ said Connie.
Contents
1 Swim Scare
2 Spaghetti Worms
3 Water Babies
4 Colouring Sharks
5 Giant Gerbil
6 Exploding Video
7 Driller Dentist
8 Mermaid Magic
1. Swim Scare
‘We’re going swimming!’ Connie sang happily.
‘Sh!’ said Dad. ‘You’ll wake the babies.’
Connie clamped her hand over her mouth, giggling. She certainly didn’t want to wake her little brother and sister. They were called Claire and Charles and they were twins. They were both bald, with beady blue eyes, big tummies and bendy legs. Connie’s gran said they were the most beautiful babies in the whole world. Connie thought Gran had gone a bit crackers. The twins looked terrible.
Their behaviour wasn’t up to much either. They cried a lot during the day. They cried a lot during the night, too.
‘Little monsters,’ said Dad, yawning. ‘They just wouldn’t stop crying last night.’
‘Tut, tut,’ said Connie, shaking her head at the silly twins. ‘They won’t be able to go swimming for years and years, will they, Dad?’
It seemed like years and years since Connie and Dad had gone swimming. Dad had been promising to take her for ages. But since the twins were born he was always too tired.
‘Next Sunday,’ he always said. But now this Sunday he was really taking her.
‘I love love love going swimming,’ said Connie.
She made impressive sweeping movements with her arms, swimming through thin air.
‘Look, Dad! I can remember how to do it,’ said Connie.
She ‘swam’ right out of the house, tiptoeing down the stairs and along the hall. Dad closed the front door very gently behind them.
He put his ear to the door and listened. ‘Silence! The twins are still asleep. And so is Mum. Lucky Mum.’
‘Lucky us,’ said Connie. ‘We’re going swimming.’
‘Lucky us,’ said Dad – but he didn’t sound as if he meant it.
/> Connie practised her swimming strokes in the back of the car.
‘Hey, stop kicking my seat!’ said Dad.
‘I’m doing my leg movements,’ said Connie. ‘Like a little frog. Just the way you showed me, Dad. I’m going to swim right up and down the little pool, you just wait and see.’
‘Without keeping one foot on the bottom all the time?’ said Dad, grinning.
‘Cheek!’ said Connie.
She got changed quickly in the cubicle at the swimming-bath. Her swimming costume was getting a bit small for her. Connie had to pull it down hard to make sure it covered her bottom properly. It had a blue dolphin on the front, with a big smiley mouth. Connie gave him a little pat, her own mouth big and smiley.
‘I’m ready, Dad! Let’s get in the little pool quick,’ said Connie.
But Connie and Dad found that the learner pool was roped off. There were lots of mums and a few dads and a lot of babies in the pool so Connie ducked under the rope ready to join them.
‘No, dear, you can’t come in here,’ said the attendant. ‘There’s a parent-and-baby session taking place.’
‘But we always go in the little pool,’ said Connie. ‘Dad’s my parent.’ ‘She’s my very big baby,’ said Dad, joking.
‘Much too big, I’m afraid,’ said the attendant.
‘Never mind, we’ll go in the big pool,’ said Dad. He took hold of Connie’s hand. ‘It’ll be much more fun.’
Connie wasn’t so sure. The big pool was very very big. The water got very deep and every fifteen minutes they switched the wave machine on. Huge waves rippled up and down the big pool and everyone shouted and screamed.
‘The waves might knock me over, Dad,’ said Connie.
‘We’ll keep to the edge when the wave machine is on,’ said Dad. ‘Come on, Connie. Let’s get in the water, eh?’
Dad went down the steps into the water. It came up to his waist. Connie went down the steps very slowly, one at a time. She would have stayed halfway down, but some bigger girls wanted to get in the water too.