“Luke!” A familiar voice came from the crowd. Within seconds a big, rough-looking, burly lumberjack of a man came barrelling toward him. “Luke!” he called again.
A smile came across the doctor’s face as he recognized his old friend. “Jack!” He reached out his hand to greet him, but he was already in a bear hug and lifted a foot off the ground.
“Put me down, you maniac,” Luke laughed. Jack planted a big, wet kiss on his face and dropped him to the floor. Luke almost lost his balance, and they both laughed like schoolboys.
Then the awkward silence hit. Jack began. “The old lady made me come here. It wasn’t my choice.”
Luke could still see the hurt in his friend’s eyes. Jack had had so much potential as a child until that monster got to him. He knew Jack could tell what he was thinking, and he cleared his throat uncomfortably.
“He’s not well. I just got here, so I don’t know what’s wrong with him yet. But I can tell you he is the third one in two days with the same symptoms. I am starting to think it’s an epidemic. Has he had the bleeding and pain for long?”
“For months,” Jack told him. “Mom said the pain is excruciating, and he suffers with it almost every day.” Jack grabbed his arm. “Let’s go outside for a smoke.”
Luke noticed that the waiting room was full, and all eyes were on them. “Sure.”
The night air was cold, and they could see their breath. Luke and Jack were the only two standing in the designated smoking area. Jack put a cigarette in his mouth and pointed the open pack toward Luke. “Smoke?” he offered.
“Not in years,” Luke replied.
“I suppose you can’t have a doctor smelling like smoke anymore,” Jack chuckled. “You’ve done some good, Luke. I’m some proud of you.”
Luke knew in his heart Jack truly meant that. “I wouldn’t have made it out of school without you, Jack. You always had my back.”
Under the street light shining above, Luke could see Jack’s face clearer now. He could remember him perfectly as a young boy attending Catholic school. Jack had struggled in school, but he had been as big as a bear. Luke had been smart, but small, and always the subject of the class bully. Until one day when Jack had put the bully up against a locker and told him to leave Luke alone. No one had bullied Luke again after that. Not with Jack around. Luke had followed him around like a puppy after that. They became the odd couple: Luke with his slight build and nerdy glasses, and Jack like a bull in a china shop scrapping through school.
Jack had lived with his mother downtown, far away from Luke’s beautiful white house with its manicured lawn. Jack and his mom didn’t have much, but they had each other. Luke remembered going to their small, old house with the worn furniture. Mrs. McGraw didn’t use plastic covers to protect her couches like Luke’s mother did, and she made the best Rice Krispies squares in the world. Luke would often go home with Jack after school to help him with homework. Mrs. McGraw always had a fresh batch of Rice Krispies squares on the table, waiting.
He envied their relationship back then. Mrs. McGraw wasn’t anything like Luke’s mother. Her nails were never painted, and she didn’t wear makeup. She kept her hair in a bun on top of her head. Not like Luke’s mom, who lived at the beauty parlour, constantly running late for manicure and hair appointments. She hadn’t even known what a Rice Krispies square was. If she did, she would have asked the housekeeper to make them. It wasn’t the same.
“Your mind’s wandering,” said Jack, startling Luke from his thoughts.
“I’m tired. This is the last hour of my twelve-hour shift. It’s been a long, long night,” Luke confessed.
“You’re wondering why I am here?” Jack huffed through a cloud of cigarette smoke.
“That’s your business,” Luke answered.
“She made me come. You know I can’t say no to her.” Jack took a long inhale from his cigarette and blew it out with a sigh. “Every time she calls, I still hope she is going to tell me she’s leaving him, but she never does.” Jack couldn’t hide his hurt, even now. “I can’t stop loving her.” Tears filled his eyes. “She’s my mother, or she’s the shell my mother lives in. I miss her.” His voice trembled, and he caught himself before a tear fell.
Luke knew Jack was forever frozen as the young boy who lost his mother and his innocence. “I know.” He wasn’t sure if he should put his arms around Jack to comfort him or not. Luke remembered that he never knew how Jack was going to take being touched. Sometimes he would break down crying, and sometimes he would beat you to a pulp.
He remembered the first time he saw Jack cry. They were on their way home from school, but the route was different than normal. Jack was getting on the same bus with Luke now. His mother had met a wonderful man, Mr. John Duffy, a well-known local businessman. His mother used to clean his building downtown. He had taken an interest in her, constantly asking about her life and her son. At first she was too shy to talk to him, but he was friendly and eventually got the story out of her. She told him all about Jack, how he was big for his age but a little slow. How his father had left after the boy was born. How her family had turned against her for getting pregnant out of wedlock. She couldn’t believe it when he asked her out. She told him she didn’t own a dress or shoes good enough to go to a fancy restaurant, so he bought them for her. A beautiful red dress and black patent leather high heels.
Jack was beaming the next day when he came to school and told Luke how beautiful his mother looked. He was captivated by the gentleman’s big white Cadillac, and he laughed describing how the neighbours peeked out of their windows and watched his mother getting into the brand new shiny car. On their second date, Mr. Duffy gave Jack a leather baseball glove and ball. It was the first time an adult male had been kind to Jack. Duffy spoke to him like an adult. Telling him how he admired the way Jack took care of his mother and was the man of the house.
Within weeks his mother was showing off her big diamond engagement ring. Shortly after, they became a family and moved two streets away from Luke’s house. At first everything was great. Jack loved the attention of his new dad. His room was full of toys and games he hadn’t even known existed. His new dad insisted on treating him like a man, even giving him alcohol when his mother wasn’t around. His mother was going for weekly visits at the beauty salon now, too. Getting her nails and hair done by professionals. Her clothes were all new. She didn’t make Rice Krispies squares anymore. No more cleaning offices for her. Jack and his mother were living the Cinderella dream life.
Luke’s mother wasn’t happy about it at all. At first, Luke thought she was jealous. She didn’t want her son going over to Jack’s house anymore. She told him to stay away from Mr. Duffy, but she wouldn’t say why. Luke didn’t tell her about the alcohol, because he knew she would throw a fit and stop their friendship altogether. He couldn’t understand why she didn’t want him to be friends with Jack just because he moved to their neighbourhood.
Then one day Luke noticed Jack crying on the school bus. He wasn’t sure at first. Jack was sitting next to the window on their shared seat. Luke was going on about the new hockey cards he had bought over the weekend. Jack was quiet, gazing out the window. Luke saw his reflection in the glass and noticed tears running down his cheeks.
“Jack?” Luke pulled at the arm of his coat. “Are you okay?”
Jack hugged his arms around himself even tighter, burying his face in his jacket. His body began to heave slightly as he tried to suppress his tears.
“What happened? Are you okay?” Luke didn’t understand.
Twelve-year-old boys didn’t cry on school buses for no reason. And Jack didn’t cry at all. Luke had noticed Jack was changing. Jack wasn’t as happy-go-lucky as he used to be. He wasn’t smiling that big goofy smile that made Luke laugh. He was falling behind in school, but he wouldn’t let Luke come over to help him with his homework anymore. Maybe Jack didn??
?t want to be friends with the school nerd, Luke thought at the time. Luke reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a tissue. He passed it to Jack, who took it and quickly wiped away his tears. The two boys sat in silence for the rest of the way home.
When they got off the bus, Jack grabbed him by the collar. “Don’t tell anyone I cried!” He gave him a forceful push back. Luke tripped, landing on his rear end. He was looking up at his best friend in stunned amazement, his mouth hanging open. Jack had never laid a hand on him before. He didn’t know what to say. Jack turned and ran toward his house. Luke could tell he was still crying.
The next day, Jack didn’t sit with him on the bus. A few days later, the rumour at school was that Jack had been suspended for showing up at school drunk. Luke didn’t believe it. He walked over to Jack’s house after school and knocked on his front door. At first he thought no one was home, but then he caught someone peeking out the front window when the curtain moved. A few minutes later, the front door slowly opened. Jack stood in the doorway.
“Heard you were sick,” Luke lied. “Can I come in? I got some new baseball cards.”
Jack opened the door a little wider, just enough to let Luke walk through. The house was grand. Even grander than Luke’s. It was quiet. No one was home except for Jack.
Luke could tell he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t get it out.
“Jack, you’re my best friend. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you’ll always be my best friend.”
Jack wrapped his arms around Luke and began to sob hysterically. Luke could feel the shoulder of his shirt getting wet from the tears, but he stood there, put his arms around his friend, and said nothing. It seemed like a long time before Jack stopped crying. He finally stood back, wiping his face with the sleeve of his sweater.
“Let’s go to my room.” He gestured toward the stairs.
They climbed the grand staircase, walking the long hallway to the room at the end. Far away from his parents’ master bedroom.
“What’s wrong, Jack?” Luke asked as they sat on the bedroom floor looking at baseball cards.
“I hate him.” Tears began to well up in Jack’s eyes again.
“Who? You hate who?” Luke didn’t understand.
“John,” he responded.
Luke had to think for a moment. Who was John? Then it hit him. Jack’s new father. He never heard him call Mr. Duffy John before. He always called him Dad.
“Your father?” Luke asked, surprised.
“He’s not my father!” Jack yelled back.
“Did he hurt you? Did he hit you?”
Luke couldn’t believe Mr. Duffy, who was so kind to Jack and his mother, would hurt him.
Jack began to cry again. He was sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees. He started to rock back and forth. Luke didn’t know what to do.
“Talk to your mom, Jack. She won’t let him hurt you.”
The tears began to flow even more. He blurted out, “She doesn’t love me, she loves him. She loves this house. She loves her hair, but she doesn’t love me anymore!”
Luke sat next to him on the floor and tried to put his arms around him. He didn’t know how to comfort his friend. Jack pushed him away.
“Don’t touch me.” He coiled into a ball on the floor, like a dog that had been beaten.
Luke was afraid. He didn’t know what to do. They both heard the car pull into the driveway.
“You better go home.” Jack jumped to his feet, wiping his face with his sleeve again. “Now!” he yelled.
Both boys hurried down the stairs just as Jack’s mother and Mr. Duffy came in through the front door. They were laughing. She was carrying shopping bags from a ladies’ clothing store in each hand. When Jack and Mr. Duffy locked eyes, they both froze. The smile left Duffy’s face, and Jack stood still in fear. Luke could feel the tension.
“Hello, Mrs. McGraw,” was all Luke could think to say.
She put her bags on the floor. “I’m Mrs. Duffy now, Luke,” she corrected him.
“I’m sorry. I forgot.”
Luke noticed that Mr. Duffy and Jack had not broken their stare during the exchange.
“Jack?” Duffy hissed. “Are you allowed to have a friend over without asking me first?”
Luke looked back at Jack. His face was white, and he was shaking.
“It’s only Luke,” his mother interrupted. “They’re like brothers.”
“Did I ask for your opinion?” Duffy shot her a look, and she knew what it meant. “You have your prizes, now go play with them. Jack and I will go have a conversation about rules in this house.”
She picked up her bags and walked toward the kitchen. Jack turned and ran up the stairs. Luke could hear his bedroom door slam. Mr. Duffy looked mad. Luke knew he had to leave in a hurry.
The next day, Jack didn’t get on the school bus. Mr. Duffy drove him to school and picked him up at three o’clock. He didn’t talk to Luke anymore. He always blamed himself for showing up uninvited and getting Jack in trouble. Jack failed grade seven that year and had to repeat it while Luke moved on to grade eight. Jack developed a reputation for being a wild child and a fighter. Luke heard he had quit school shortly after grade eight began.
Luke never had a best friend like Jack again. Over the years, he would hear rumours of Jack getting arrested, being thrown out of the house, or landing in some kind of trouble. Whenever Luke ran into him, Jack would turn and go in the other direction.
Then one day he picked up the newspaper. “Prominent Businessman Charged with Sexual Assault.” Mr. Duffy’s picture was on the front page.
Luke was sick as he read through the article. Mr. Duffy’s adopted son had alleged that Duffy had started molesting him at twelve years old and continued to do so until he was sixteen. The article went on to say that Mrs. Duffy was standing by her husband, stating that her troubled son had been in and out of jail for years. He was sick, she told the reporter, and needed help. Mr. Duffy was a good man who tried to help him.
Luke was at university then. He thought about calling Jack. It all made sense to him then. But he didn’t know how to start the conversation. He followed the trial in the media, anxiously waiting for the paper each day and watching the evening news every night. He saw Jack going in and out of the courthouse. Years of alcohol abuse and hard living had turned him into a sore sight.
Then it came. “Prominent Businessman Acquitted.”
Tears fell from Luke’s eyes as he read the judge’s decision. Jack was not credible, the papers wrote. His story changed. He couldn’t get his facts straight. Mr. Duffy’s lawyer presented a solid case when he accused Jack of trying to blackmail his stepfather. He had proof of Jack saying he would go to the police with the allegations if he didn’t give him money. The picture on the front page showed a triumphant Mr. and Mrs. Duffy leaving the courthouse, arm in arm, smiling. Jack’s picture appeared on page three with the second half of the story. It was the size of a postage stamp, simply stating Jack McGraw had used blackmail, then false allegations, to extort money from his stepfather.
Life went on. Luke finished medical school and started long hours as an intern, moving up the ladder until he became a doctor. He’d never heard from Jack again until now.
There he stood, smoking a cigarette, like no time had passed.
Jack knew what he was thinking. “I didn’t know how to tell you, Luke. I didn’t understand myself.” Jack hung his head. “I didn’t know what the words were. What you called it. No one talked about men like that back then.”
Luke didn’t know what to say. “I followed the trial. I wanted to call you, but I didn’t know what to say.”
“You didn’t need your good name caught up in that garbage,” Jack assured him. “It made me happy to know you were doing well.”
“Did your
mother know, Jack?” Luke couldn’t help but ask.
Jack threw his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. “Yes. She knew.” Jack looked sadder than before. “She traded my childhood for new clothes and fancy hair. She won’t admit it, but I know she heard me crying when he came into my room.” He looked like a boy again. “She’d take a sleeping pill to knock herself out. Then she’d smile at me in the morning like nothing happened. Every time she came home with a new dress or new shoes, I knew I was going to pay for it. No one knew the horrors that went on in that house.”
“My mother knew.” The words came out of Luke’s mouth before he could stop them.
Jack gave him a blank look.
“My mother never wanted me to go to your house after your mother married Duffy. She never said why. I thought she was jealous. She warned me to never be alone with him. When the trial was happening, she made a comment one night that everyone knew he was a pedophile.”
“She was right, Luke. Everyone did know he was a pedophile, but no one would help. His good name was more important than my childhood.”
“I wish we had stayed friends, Jack. I wish I had known. I would never have stopped being friends with you.”
“I had to stop being friends with you, Luke.” Jack’s words surprised him. “He was getting tired of me. He wanted me to start bringing you around again, but I wouldn’t do it.”
Luke was frozen. He felt an icy chill go up his spine. Jack had not pushed him away. He had protected him. Like he always had.
“Is he in pain, Luke?” Jack asked with wide-eyed innocence.
Dr. Gillespie nodded.
“Good. I’m glad. I hope he dies. I hope God makes him suffer for what he did.”
Luke looked his friend in the eye. For a moment they were back to being twelve-year-old boys again, but this time Luke would protect him.