And she couldn’t give him all of her until she knew for sure she was what he really wanted.
Tonight, though, she could pretend like tomorrow didn’t exist. She might not be able to say the words, but she could show him what she felt instead.
Taking his face in her hands, she kissed him deeply, then rolled him to his back. “Let me love you, Ryan.”
Chapter Seventeen
“I don’t want you going up there alone.” Mitch stood in Simone’s bedroom, watching her toss clothes into a suitcase. “Did you hear me?” he asked when she didn’t respond.
She patted his cheek as she brushed by and headed into her bathroom. “Careful, sweetheart, you’re starting to sound a lot like your domineering brother-in-law.”
Her insult barely registered. He followed, stood in the doorway while she moved around gathering her things. “I talked to Ryan earlier. He doesn’t think you should go up there alone, either.”
She dropped cosmetics into her travel bag, grabbed her favorite shampoo from the shower. “Please. Like I’m going to listen to two men? Mitch, I’m going to Seattle on business. Besides, no one will know I’m even there. In fact, I’ll be safer there than I am here. Shannon’s staying with my parents. Everything’s fine. And I haven’t even decided if it’s worth it to go up to Vancouver yet. I’ll wait and see what my PI finds.”
Yet. He’d heard that little addendum loud and clear. She was too independent. Too stubborn. It was one of the reasons he’d never been attracted to successful women. She’d been dodging him ever since their night together, and he’d worked so late last night that he hadn’t been able to come by and see her until this morning. He was supposed to hop a flight up to Queen Charlotte Sound today to get the project back on track, but now that he’d gotten a whiff of what she had planned, he couldn’t leave until he knew she’d be safe.
“I’d go with you if I could but I can’t. Damn, this is shitty timing.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she said, grabbing hairspray from a basket on the counter.
She was avoiding his eyes. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on here.
“I know what you’re doing, Simone. You don’t have to go up to Vancouver because of what happened between us.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She slipped a hairbrush in her bag, zipped it closed.
Yes, she did. She knew exactly what he was getting at. He’d seen it eating away at her the second after they’d made love. Forget what was happening between them. She thought she’d let her client down. “Kate and Ryan are not going to be upset with you over this. You’re allowed to have a life. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
She closed her eyes, drew in a breath. Emotions played over her face, but when she opened her eyes again, they were gone. She grabbed her bag and pushed past him into the bedroom. “I’ll talk to Kate about it all when I get back.”
He caught her by the arm. “Stop and look at me.”
She turned dark eyes his way. Eyes that were haunted. Eyes that were guilt-ridden. Eyes that tightened his chest like a drum.
“Don’t throw what’s happening between us away because you’re worried what someone else is going to think,” he said.
“This was a bad idea. It never should have happened, and you know it. As for my going to Seattle, it’s not your call. I’ll be fine. Now, could you please let go of my arm so I can finish packing?”
He felt like she’d just stabbed him through the heart. As he released her, he tried to figure out what the hell was happening. When had he gotten so attached? He never worried about anyone besides family. When had Simone—a woman he barely knew—become as important, if not more, than the people he loved?
His chest stretched even tighter.
Heart thundering, he followed her back into her bedroom. She was zipping her garment bag, her chocolate hair falling across her cheeks. Rain drizzled outside the window, casting an eerie gray light through the room. In her snug skirt and fitted blouse, she couldn’t look more angelic if she tried.
Oh, man. He was so screwed here.
He ran a hand over his face, tried to settle his racing pulse. When she turned to set her bag on the floor, he grasped her arms and drew her close. “I don’t do long term. Casual. That’s as serious as I get. But you, Counselor… With you I don’t want casual.”
“What?” Fear slid into her eyes. The same damn fear he felt but was pushing down. “Are you…?” Her eyes narrowed. “Did that bat hit you in the head? I thought it got you in the stomach.”
He couldn’t help it. He smiled. “No, you hit me over the head. The first time I saw you. The other night—thank God for the other night—I realized I’ve been head over heels for you from the start. Since then I’ve been thinking about the whole deal—marriage, family, kids, a minivan.”
Simone jerked out of his arms and pressed a hand to her belly. “Oh, my God. A minivan? Are you sick? What the hell’s come over you?”
“I don’t know,” he said quietly, watching her stunned reaction. Feeling it himself. He sure the hell hadn’t expected to say that, but now that it was out there, he didn’t want to take it back. “Shocked?”
“Um, yeah. We slept together. Once.”
He dipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “As I recall, you enjoyed it. More than once. Many times more than once.”
“I…” she sputtered, waved her hands. “Mitch, we barely even know each other.”
“So let’s get to know each other. Stay here. Stay safe. As soon as I get back, we’ll focus on nothing but learning what irritates us most about each other.”
She dropped onto the end of the bed. “This is a joke, isn’t it? Please tell me it’s a joke.”
Not the reaction he’d hoped for. Hell, it wasn’t even the conversation he’d planned on having. “No joke. You hooked me, Simone. Basically knocked me on my ass. I’m as shocked as anyone.”
When she didn’t say anything, just stared at him with wide eyes, he scratched the back of his head, feeling like an idiot. “Okay, I can probably do without the minivan. We can negotiate that later.”
“You’re certifiable, you know that?”
He felt himself cracking, and he was a man who never cracked. “Look, I’ve avoided relationships for a long time. For a variety of reasons. And after I watched Ryan go through hell over my sister’s death, I told myself I’d been smart and that relationships weren’t worth it. But now…after everything that’s happened…I don’t know. I just realized life is precious. That you gotta go after the things you want, because they might not be there when you finally pull your head out of your ass and realize they’re important. I don’t want to miss that opportunity with you, Simone. I’m not asking you to marry me. I’m just asking you not to end what’s growing between us. And I don’t want you to go to Canada because you feel guilty over it. I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you.”
He pulled her from the bed and gripped her hands. “Take a chance on me, Counselor. You might be surprised at what you find.”
“I might end up in a padded cell.”
A smile curled one side of his mouth. “Wouldn’t be so bad if we were there together, would it?”
“Mitch—”
“Just think about it, okay? Think about you and me and what could just be the best thing in your life.”
“I have a sinking suspicion that’s all I’m going to be doing for the next few days.” She frowned, but she didn’t pull her hands from his. And he took that as a good sign. “You’re like a tornado, you know that, Mathews? Devouring everything in its path and not caring about the consequences.”
“I care about you. And Shannon, and keeping you both safe. Promise me you won’t go to Canada.”
She didn’t answer, only curled into him, then slid her arms around his waist and held on. And as her heat enveloped him, his heart took one hard roll. Because right then he knew she wasn’t going to do what he wanted. And that meant any
plans he’d made for the next few days were going to take a drastic turn.
Hopefully not for the worst.
***
“What are you doing?”
Kate jumped from her spot on the floor in the living room and swiveled toward the stairs. Ryan stood on the bottom step, wearing nothing but faded denim low on his hips. His feet were bare, his eyes sleepy, and his blond hair had that tousled just-woke-up look.
She pressed a hand to her chest. “You scared me.”
He walked into the room. “You were expecting someone else?”
Early morning sunlight glinted off his bare chest. Her skin tingled as she remembered tracing the lines of those muscles last night with her fingers, with her lips.
“Katie?”
Tearing her gaze away from his exquisite male body, she glanced up at his amused face. “What?”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She turned back toward the stack of journals she’d been flipping through and bit her lip as heat crept up her face. Sex was supposed to sate a person, not turn them into a randy teenager.
He slid to the floor behind her, one leg on each side of hers. Warmth radiated from his body. She shivered, itching to be touched, wanting those hands on her like they’d been last night. When his fingers slipped around her waist, she drew in a breath and smiled as his lips grazed the nape of her neck.
That’s what she wanted. But oh, man. If he kept that up, she’d never get through these journals.
“There’s my shirt,” he said, trailing his hands under the cotton and up her ribcage to cup her bare breasts. “I was looking for it.”
Desire pooled in her core. A low fire built when he pinched her nipple. She swallowed hard. “Sorry. I just grabbed the first thing I saw.”
His chest vibrated at her back when he chuckled. “In the office? Across the hall? I think that’s where it landed when you ripped it off me last night.”
She bit back the smile, remembering the night before. She’d never been so aggressive, hadn’t known she could be so passionate. Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the sensation as his teeth nibbled her neck and his hands continued to tease her breasts. “It’s soft. And it smells good. You can have it back in a minute if you want.”
“I do,” he mumbled against her. His hand grazed her hip, slid down between her thighs. “I don’t like waking up alone. I want you back in my bed.”
His fingers danced across her mound. Made her shiver with anticipation. “I think it’s my bed.”
“Minor technicality. What are you doing down here, anyway?”
She looked back at the journal splayed in front of her, tried not to moan as his finger rested against her clit. Even through the thin fabric of her panties, he had to feel how turned on she was. “I couldn’t get Dr. Murphy’s conversation out of my head.”
“Babe, don’t—”
“No, not that. He said he remembered reading something on a study about Tabofren. Ryan, I read it too.”
“You did?” He moved his hand from between her legs, reached for a journal in front of her.
She tried not to be disappointed she’d distracted him from touching her. After all, finding out what had happened to her was more important than another round of mind-blowing sex. Though at the moment—at any moment—mind-blowing sex sounded a hell of a lot more fun.
“Yeah. I remember because it sounded so cutting-edge. I know it’s in here somewhere.” She tossed the journal she’d been studying in a pile of others and grabbed a new one from the coffee table.
“What are you doing with all of these?”
“McKellen Publishing handles several scientific journals, including medical ones. Occasionally I’ll paw through them if something on the cover catches my eye. I know I saw it somewhere.” She glanced around the room and bit her lip. Journals littered the floor. She’d already been through all the ones she had at home.
She pushed to her feet. “I need to go into the publishing house today.”
Ryan rose. “No way.”
One look and she saw the worry in his eyes. Why did she have that strange feeling he was keeping something from her again?
“Ryan, I’ll be fine. I can check the database at work. The article I’m thinking of will be listed there. I need to find it.”
“I don’t want you going there. Not until we know who’s connected to this.”
Fighting him on this wasn’t going to help. He was stubborn and domineering and way too sexy standing there in her living room for her to want to argue with him.
Biting her lip, she rested the palms of her hands on his chest and tipped her eyes up. “You could come with me.”
His hand slid up to cover hers. “Teasing me will not get you what you want.”
She moved closer, rose up on her toes, ran her lips softly over his. “Why not?”
“Because I’m not that easy.”
She laughed, trailed her lips across his jaw to his ear, pressed her body against his. His sharp intake of breath told her she was doing a good job at seducing him. His arms came around her, and the muscles in her stomach tightened when his lips caressed her neck. She felt his arousal against her hip.
“You can have your shirt back if you go with me,” she said in his ear.
He walked her forward until she bumped into the couch. Swift fingers streaked up under the hem of his shirt, whisking it over her head. It landed on the newel post. He flipped her around and bent her over the arm of the sofa. “I think I get my shirt back either way, babe.”
She gasped, then shuddered when his lips found her nape again, when his hand dipped between her legs. Then finally sighed when he stroked the fire already burning inside her and made her forget everything but him.
***
Kate slipped on her sunglasses as she stepped from Ryan’s Jag. She waited on the sidewalk with a frown while he took his sweet time. He’d been dragging his feet all morning, almost as if he didn’t want to help her after all.
He’d wasted time making her breakfast, had lured her into a long, hot shower where he’d washed her with his hands and tongue, then convinced her he had to stop at his house on the way in to change clothes and see the kids before they left again. It was now close to noon. Not that she was complaining about any of it, but she was itching to find that article. And his snail pace was grating on her nerves.
“You’re worse than a woman.”
He slipped the keys into his pocket. “Don’t start with me. I have a bad feeling about this.”
Okay, so he was worried. She could deal with that. Then why was that underlying feeling that there was more to this still eating at her? Shaking off the thought, she tucked her arm in his and pulled him toward her building. “Come on. We’ll be in and out. No one will even know we’re there.”
The office was abuzz when they stepped out of the elevator and onto Kate’s floor.
“Kate, you’re here. Thank goodness.” Jill scrambled from her desk, grabbing a handful of messages. “The phone has been ringing off the hook since Monday morning.”
Oh, great.
Kate glanced at Ryan. “Jill, this is Ryan.”
To his credit, Ryan said nothing about Jill’s nose ring. Or the plethora of tattoos up and down the twenty-something girl’s arms. “Hi.”
Jill’s gaze darted from Kate to Ryan and back again. Her eyes widened when she finally recognized him, and a silly grin spread across her face. “Oh. Hi.”
“Go on in, Ryan. I’ll just be a minute.” Kate motioned toward her office
When he was gone, Jill asked, “Is that who I think it is?”
“Yes.”
“Is he really your husband?”
“Looks that way. I’ll take those messages.” Kate pried the messages from Jill’s fingers.
“Oh.” Jill finally tore her gaze from Ryan, standing in her office. “And Tom’s looking for you.”
“How does he know I’m here?”
“Rumor mill. Honey, you’re practically a celeb
rity. And you go anywhere with Ryan Harrison, and people are going to talk.”
“Fabulous,” Kate muttered. She moved toward her office. “I’m not staying long. I just need to check on something. I’ll take a stack of work with me, but if anyone asks, I’m not here. Got it?”
“Sure. Hey, Kate?”
Kate stopped with one hand on the door.
“Is he as good as he looks?”
Kate feigned disgust. “You’re hopeless.” Then added with a smile, “Better.”
Ryan was studying the pictures on her shelf when she stepped into the room.
“Not as big as your office,” she said, closing the door behind her.
“Where was this taken?” He lifted a picture of Reed playing in the sand.
“On the gulf. He loves the beach.”
Emotions brewed in his eyes when they turned toward her. And, for the first time, she realized he’d lost time too. “I have more pictures at home. I can show you if you want.”
A faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. But his eyes were distant, almost as if he were holding something back. “I’d like that.” His voice changed before she could ask what was bothering him. “Where do we start?”
She moved to a shelf across the room and pulled out medical journals. “You can flip through these while I pull up the database on my computer.”
He dropped into a chair opposite her desk and lifted a stack. She scrolled through screens on her computer. The quiet hum of the outer office was the only sound in the room.
“Kate?” The intercom buzzed. Jill’s voice chimed through the quiet. “Heads up, Tom’s on his way—”
Her office door pushed open before she could respond, and Tom Adams strode in without knocking.
“You dodging me?” he asked.
Kate stood. Ryan rose too, eyeing her managing editor with suspicion. He obviously recognized Tom from that day at her house when he’d come to talk to her and had learned about Reed. So much for avoiding anyone at the office. “Tom Adams,” she said, making introductions, “Ryan Harrison.”