“Not ever?” Tears swam in his eyes.
An ache filled Kate’s chest. She knew he was thinking of Jake. A four-year-old shouldn’t be asking questions about death and dying. He shouldn’t have to go through losing a parent. But here he was, growing up much too fast, having to deal with things no preschooler should have to face.
She rubbed a hand across her chest. Surprisingly, the pain wasn’t for Jake like she expected. This time, it was for a family she didn’t know. For a man and his daughter who’d lost someone they loved deeper than she’d expected. All her research didn’t change that fact. She’d seen the heartache on their faces. Was Julia asking these questions? Wondering why her mother was back from the dead and what it all meant in the long run?
Shouldn’t Kate be the one answering them for her, trying to set some of this right?
“Mama?”
Reed’s voice drew her attention. Smiling, she ran a hand over his blond hair. If the tests came back positive, she’d have to tell Ryan about him. Dread coursed through her at the thought. What would he say when he found out he’d missed out on four years of his son’s life? That Reed thought of another man as his father? It would only make things worse.
She didn’t have answers to the questions swirling in her mind. And at the moment, she didn’t want to think of them. She just wanted to focus on her sweet son’s face and remember why she was here, why she was digging for information that she may never find.
“Yes, baby?”
“I love you.”
Her face softened, and she drew him into her arms and onto her lap. “I love you, sweetheart. More than you will ever know.”
Chapter Seven
“See that?” Mitch pointed across the ravine to a fan-shaped deposit of sediments marking a dried riverbed. “It’s an alluvial fan.”
“What causes that?” Julia asked with sincere interest.
Ryan fought the urge to roll his eyes. He’d taken the day off, unable to concentrate on much of anything besides the turmoil inside him, and headed up to the mountains at Mitch’s insistence. How the hell he’d let Mitch talk him into this, he didn’t know.
“Generally, a stream drags the sediments with it, depositing them at the bottom,” Mitch explained. “Sometimes a landslide can do it.”
“Give it a rest, Mathews.” Ryan used the back of his forearm to wipe the sweat from his brow.
“The kid likes it,” Mitch said, grinning at Julia.
“Does she?”
Julia smiled his way. “The kid does.”
“I don’t know what the hell’s in the Mathews’s gene pool, but whatever it is got passed down to her.” Ryan slapped a mosquito that landed on his arm. “Son of a bitch, I’m getting eaten alive out here.”
Mitch elbowed Julia. “He’s such a city slicker.”
They both laughed.
“Enough playing in the dirt today,” Ryan announced. “I’m filthy and tired. Let’s head back.”
“Dad, you’re such a party pooper.” Julia caught up with him and grabbed his hand. He slung an arm over her shoulder as they headed down the path. Behind them, Mitch continued to shout out geologic markers they passed.
“See what you started?” Ryan mumbled.
Julia giggled. “Imagine what he’s like on a date.”
“That’s why he doesn’t date much.”
“What the hell are you two talking about up there?” Mitch hollered.
“Nothing,” Ryan shot back.
“Just the native dating rituals.” Julia giggled again.
“Or lack thereof,” Ryan added under his breath.
“You two are a bunch of comedians,” Mitch said. “Just so happens I’ve got a hot date tonight.” He winked at Julia as they climbed into his dusty Land Rover. “It’s more than I can say for your dear old pop here.”
Ryan eyed him across the console. “Who the hell would go out with you?”
“Okay, it’s not so much a date as a meeting. But if she’s as hot as you say, it could turn into a date.”
The rig bounced down the gravel road. Ryan had a sickening feeling as to where this was headed. “Please tell me you aren’t seeing Simone Conners.”
Mitch glanced in the rearview mirror. “Why not? You yourself said she was my type.”
Ryan rested his elbow on the window ledge and massaged his aching forehead. “I lied. She’s got a kid. You don’t date women with kids, remember?”
“I like kids. Look at Julia.”
“Julia’s an anomaly. Normal kids don’t give a rip about geology. Besides, I thought you were seeing some archaeologist. Redhead, looked like a model?”
Mitch shrugged. “I was. She took off on a dig. Didn’t work out.”
“Does it ever with you?”
“Hey, now. Don’t get all pissy with me just because you’re in a bad mood. Maybe Simone Conners is ‘the one’.”
Ryan let out a smug huff. “There is no ‘one’ with you, Mitch.”
“There could be. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I’m tired of chasing skirts?”
“Yeah, right. And the moon is made of cheese.”
“Hey, I have a soft side. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to cuddle now and then. It’s not always about sex.”
“If you even think about uttering the words love and marriage right now, I’ll puke.”
Mitch frowned. “Look, if it makes you feel any better, I’m sure, hot or not, she won’t go out with me. Not now, at least.”
Something in his tone and the way he checked the rearview mirror again made Ryan glance back at Julia. Her eyes were already closed, her head resting against the window.
“She’s representing Kate,” Mitch finished quietly.
Ryan’s head snapped around. “What do you mean, representing?”
“As in, Simone is Kate’s lawyer.”
“For what reason?”
“I’m not sure.” They pulled onto the highway. “Right now, it sounds like she’s the one handling the DNA testing. Once that’s done, there could be…other…legal issues.”
“Goddammit. We don’t even know anything yet, and she’s already hired herself a fucking lawyer?”
“Don’t get all worked up. Yet. You and I both think she’s Annie. If she is, there’ll be some legal things to decide.”
“You mean custody issues.” Ryan swore under his breath and looked out the window.
“She’s not gonna make a move for Julia when she doesn’t even know her.”
“Yet,” Ryan murmured. Dammit, if she was Annie, he wanted her to get to know Julia. He’d never try to block that. But he wouldn’t put up with her forcing her way in, either. “She’s not gonna waltz in here and fuck up my life. How long have you known this little bit of info?”
Mitch grimaced, keeping his eyes on the road. “A few days. Look, I’m with you on this one. I don’t think she should get custody, but Ryan, if she’s Julia’s mother, she has a right to get to know her.”
“Do you think I’d get in the way of that?”
“No, I don’t. But she doesn’t know that. If her story’s straight, then she doesn’t know a thing about us. She doesn’t know what we will or won’t do. As much as I hate it too, she was smart to get a lawyer.”
Ryan glared out the window. “I don’t want you meeting with Simone Conners.”
“That’s my call, not yours.”
Ryan felt that short leash on his emotions unraveling. “She was my wife.”
“And she was my sister. I have as much right to find out what’s going on as you do.”
“Don’t pull the I knew her longer than you did card on me, Mitch. It’s not the same, and you know it.”
“I do know it,” Mitch snapped. “But I loved her too, you son of a bitch, and I’m hurting right alone with you. And if meeting with Simone Conners can give me any hint as to what’s happening and when we’ll know more, then I’ll do it.”
Ryan clenched his jaw, looked out at the hills rushing by his window. He was
n’t pissed at Mitch. He was pissed at the whole situation. And his inability to deal with it all when everyone else seemed to be coping just fine. “Dammit, this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be.”
“I know.” Mitch softened his tone. “Nothing’s happening yet. I just wanted you to be prepared for it, if it does.”
Ryan nodded, though what he wanted to do more was put his fist through the window. None of this was what he’d expected. Every time he thought about the whole fucked-up situation, something new hit him. And now all he could focus on was a possible custody battle down the road.
He wasn’t losing Julia too. She was all he had left. He’d fight to the end to keep her with him, whether Kate Alexander was his wife or not.
***
Simone pulled up in front of Chaser’s, the sports bar where she’d agree to meet Mitch Mathews. Nerves bounced around in her stomach as she checked her lipstick in the rearview mirror. It wasn’t unethical for her to meet with the man. After all, she’d known his sister. They had a mutual acquaintance. And until they knew for sure that Kate really was Annie, Simone wasn’t crossing any attorney-client lines.
Her nerves told her otherwise. They all thought she was Annie. Meeting with him was only going to cause trouble down the line. But for some reason, when he’d called and asked, she’d found herself saying yes. Maybe because she’d heard the desperation in his words and knew what it was like to lose someone you loved. Maybe because she was hopeful this family could find a happiness she’d never get. Maybe because for years, she’d been wondering about Annie’s single, geologist brother, and when he’d called, his sexy voice had overridden mere common sense.
Yeah, it was the last. Simone frowned as she climbed out of her BMW and locked the door. She’d gone too long without a man in her life if one sexy voice and a little mystery had lured her here.
One drink. She’d have one drink, make small talk, then be on her way. Tomorrow, they’d hopefully have the test results. If things went as Simone expected, she’d be representing Kate in legal proceedings, which would make any contact with Mitch Mathews and his brother-in-law, Ryan Harrison, unethical outside of work.
She moved into the dimly lit establishment, scanned the area. A long wooden bar ran the length of the back walls. Huge, flat-screen TVs seemed to occupy every inch of wall space. Baseball games flickered on screens, but luckily the sound was muted so she heard only the normal rustle of any bar—glasses clinking on tables, patrons chatting, the sizzle and pop from the kitchen.
She looked across the tables and booths for Mitch. Spotted him instantly. In the back corner, a man with curly, sandy brown hair and an athlete’s body pushed out of a booth. A man with a face that could only be related to Annie Harrison.
Those nerves jumped a notch, but she straightened her shoulders and pushed them down as she wove between tables toward him. When she reached him, he held out a hand. “Simone Conners?”
“Mitch Mathews?” Damn, but his hand was warm, the palm rough from physical work, so unlike Steve’s smooth attorney hands had been.
“The one and only,” he said with a lopsided grin. “Have a seat.”
“Thank you.” She slid into the circular booth, set her purse between them. Before she could ask why he’d called her and requested this meeting, a server approached.
“What’ll you have?” Mitch asked her. A dent creased his face as his lip curled in a half smile.
Dimples. The man had dimples in addition to the sexiest voice she’d ever heard. Oh, hell, she was in trouble.
“Um…” She glanced at her menu as words jumbled in her brain. Vodka, straight up, with a twist. Make it a double. “The house chardonnay is fine.”
Mitch tapped his near-empty beer. “I’ll have another.”
The waiter left, and silence settled over them. Simone watched a pretty blonde get up and move toward the bathroom. Wondered if Mitch noticed. But when she glanced his direction, he was staring only at her.
Her stomach tightened. She cleared her throat. “So…”
“So,” he said, still looking at her, those green eyes of his throwing her completely for a loop. “Ryan tells me you were a friend of Annie’s. Before.”
Small talk. She could do small talk. “Yes, I was.”
“How well did you know her?”
“Really well, actually, probably better than a lot of her local friends. We met through a mutual friend when Annie was in DC for a conference one time, hit it off. My daughter, Shannon, is the same age as Julia.”
“How long have you lived in San Francisco?”
“Only about two years. I moved here from Baltimore after my husband passed away.”
“I’m sorry.”
She didn’t want to talk about Steve. Not tonight. “Thank you.”
The waiter arrived just in time, set her wine in front of her. She took a big drink.
“Why did you call Ryan recently?”
She thought about how to answer as she fingered her wineglass. It was always hard for her when someone wanted to talk about Steve, but it hurt more when people who’d known them both acted like he’d never existed.
“Honestly?” she said, “I’ve thought about calling him several times. Annie brought Julia out to see us one time and the girls hit it off. I’m sure they’d love to get together for a playdate. But you know how life is. Things come up. You get distracted. And then that crash happened here recently, and I knew how hard it had to be for him. I just wanted him to know I was thinking of him.”
When Mitch only nodded, she felt the urge to explain, though why, she wasn’t sure. “I’ve only run into Ryan a handful of times since I’ve been here, and I got the impression he wasn’t too thrilled to see me those few times.”
“It’s not personal,” Mitch said, setting his glass on the table. “Ryan doesn’t keep in contact with any of his old friends, especially any of Annie’s old friends. He wasn’t planning on calling you back, and he’s pretty pissed at me for meeting with you tonight. Things have been…rough for him.”
She could only imagine. But her concern was Kate right now, not Ryan Harrison. She took another sip of wine. “So, Mr. Mathews, why did you want to see me?”
He leaned forward, stared into his beer, seemed to contemplate his words. “Annie was my sister, and I loved her. If there’s a chance this woman, Kate Alexander, is her…well, I just wanted to get your take on it all. You knew Annie before, and you’ve spent more time with Kate than we have.”
She saw the heartache in his eyes, felt the pain. This had to be killing him inside. “You two were close, weren’t you?”
“Very. Oh, she wanted to pummel me on a regular basis when we were growing up, just like any good sister, but yeah, we were tight. I miss her.”
Simone didn’t have any siblings, but she knew all about loss. “And you and Ryan? You’re close too, I take it?”
“The closest. We’ve been friends for years, ever since college. Almost had to kick his ass when I found out he was sleeping with my baby sister.”
Simone laughed, feeling oddly at ease with this man she’d just met. “I bet that made for interesting times.”
“It did. Ryan and I played baseball together in college. We were seniors the year Annie started school. One spring day we’ve got a home game, and I’m out at shortstop, and I glance in the stands between innings and see Annie there. She’s smiling and waving, and I’m like, ‘Cool, she came to a game.’ Then I realize, she’s not smiling and waving at me. She’s making moon eyes at Ryan over on second base. Took me all of like ten seconds to realize what was going on.”
Simone smiled. “Then what happened?”
Mitch frowned, leaned back against the booth. “There wasn’t much I could do during the game except get worked up. I stayed away from Ryan in the dugout so I didn’t lose it. Then ended up getting ejected when I threw one measly little bat at the umpire.”
“You didn’t.”
He cringed. “I did. But in all fairness, the man needed g
lasses. No way those pitches were strikes.”
She lifted her wine, sipped, felt herself relax for the first time in days. “What happened after, with Ryan?”
“Well, I had plenty of time to get good and pissed. I showered, changed, left, then went back to confront him after the game. Stupid move. I should have done it off campus. When I got back, I saw him and Annie outside the ballpark together. He was kissing her and…I lost it. He needed stitches. And I’m pretty sure the black eye lasted a good week.”
“Nice.”
“Then Coach came out and suspended us both for fighting.”
“Oh, even better,” Simone said, still smiling. “What did Annie say?”
“Annie didn’t speak to me for a month.” He looked into his beer, and the humor faded from his voice when he said, “Thing is, Ryan had a reputation in school for being a player. We both did. When I found out he was seeing her, I was sure he was just using her. I was wrong. In fact, he never looked at another girl after that. He still doesn’t.”
“I’ve seen Ryan at functions. He’s not lacking for female companionship.”
“No, he’s not. But the truth is they come on to him because he’s got money and power now. And I’m pretty sure the only reason he dates is because it takes his mind off the fact he’s alone. In five years there’s never been anyone who’s meant anything to him. I know for a fact he’d gladly give it all up just to have Annie back. That’s why this is killing him. The not knowing, especially.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Mr. Mathews—”
“Mitch.”
The spark in his eyes sent her stomach free floating. “Mitch,” she said slowly, wondering why the hell he was having this effect on her. She was never interested in a client. Or the relative of a client. Clearing her throat, she looked back at her glass and traced the condensation on the stem. “We’ll know more when the tests come back.”
“I know we will. What I’m curious about is your gut reaction.”
Her gut reaction wasn’t always right. She hadn’t trusted her gut since Steve had passed away. She’d been so sure he would beat the cancer, but he hadn’t. “It’s not my job to speculate. It’s my job to deal in facts. And the facts are simple. There’s a very strong chance that Kate is Annie.”