After our introductions, Rand allowed us the privacy of his office and Mathilda neared me, her eyes never leaving mine. She took my hand in hers and covered it with her other hand as if she were reading my soul through my skin.
“Tell me, child, why should I teach you? What makes you worthy of such a gift?”
I was surprised, as I’d thought Rand had already told her why I was worthy and for myself, I couldn’t even begin to fathom why I was worthy. I couldn’t very well tell her that though, especially in the wake of Rand’s none-too-subtle account of how difficult it was for him to get this Mathilda to tutor me.
“Rand believes in me,” I said in a small voice, reclaiming my hand when she dropped it. I approached the fireplace and took a seat on an armchair near the fire, berating myself for my stupid answer.
Mathilda laughed, a sound that reminded me of church bells. “That is the answer of one who does not believe in herself.”
I sighed and dropped my gaze. Who was I to think I could outwit a fairy and a very old one at that? Better just to tell the truth, potentially angering Rand or not. “I’m not sure I’m worthy, to be honest. Everyone seems to think me capable of wonderful and great things and it seems that everywhere I turn, people … er … creatures are fighting over me and I’m not sure why.”
Mathilda’s face softened, relaxing the hold of her lips until they unraveled into a smile. “Rand believes you are capable of great things. He has told me extensively of what you have been able to accomplish. Things that we have never seen in any one creature.”
“Well, I hope to become great with your teachings.” Ugh, I was brown nosing.
“I can see greatness within you, child. I see into you and I see goodness and kindness. That is the best place to breed magic.”
“Thanks,” I said, not really sure what else to say. Then I felt the uncomfortable drag of silence. I’m one of those people who can’t stand long silences, so I think of stupid things to say to fill up the void and I was doing just that as I sat with the formidable fairy.
“What do you see when you behold me?” she asked and interrupted my mind’s search for something, anything to say. I was pleased with the interruption.
I wasn’t sure what type of answer she was looking for—did she mean physically what did I see, emotionally? Mentally? I figured just to go for the easiest answer first. “I see a striking woman with long silver hair and a petite frame with the most beautiful green eyes I’ve ever seen.” Yep, one hundred percent brownnosing.
She smiled. “You have yourself to thank for that.”
I wore my confusion.
“I am whatever anyone wants me to be. To Rand, I am an old woman with a knotted face and limbs and tangled hair. Someone, to him, who represents age and wisdom. To you, I am much more beautiful—someone who represents wisdom and femininity, it would seem.”
It took me a second to grasp her meaning and when that second passed, I still wasn’t sure I fully understood. “So you look different to Rand?”
“Rand can only see me as old, old but wise. There is nothing sensual or feminine in the picture Rand paints of me. He cannot join the notion of womanhood and age-old wisdom.”
I frowned, not sure I was keeping up. “Is he a chauvinist?”
Mathilda laughed, and the bell-like cadence was music to my ears. “No, certainly not. He believes in you above all else. He sees you as the embodiment of feminine sensuality and beauty. He believes you are the Savior of the species, child.”
I gulped, pleased I was seated as this was certainly information to take sitting down. Savior of the species was a hefty title and one that shouldn’t attach itself to me. “How do you see me?” I asked.
“Young and naïve, but capable of incredible things. You need to grow and trust in the magic that is inherently part of you. You will be torn in different directions and you must trust the witch within you to show you the correct path.”
So this is what Luke Skywalker must have experienced upon meeting Yoda. It was almost as if she were speaking a different language. I just couldn’t understand what her ambiguous words meant. Not wanting to encourage this line of garbled insight, I changed the subject.
“So people see you however they want to see you?”
She nodded. “That is the beauty of fairy magic. We can be whoever you want us to be. You should take that as a lesson, child; you too can be whoever you want to be. As a witch, you can choose to be great or good. It is all up to you.”
I smiled and appreciated my first lesson—believe in myself and I could achieve anything—it was like an after school special.
NINE
Two weeks later and I’d somewhat managed to adapt to my new circumstances. I had an English bank account now, and Rand had added to it generously. I knew he owed me wages, but I was convinced he’d overpaid me when I received my first bank statement. Trying to argue with him was futile and in the end, he told me to spend the extra money on a vehicle, something I’d need if I were to have any sort of independence. I wasn’t sure how he did it, but he managed to convince me and before I knew it, I was the proud owner of a silver Range Rover Freelander, a smaller and less expensive version of his black Range Rover.
“You should just marry Rand,” Christa said as we took the car for a test drive.
I slammed on the breaks. “Marry him?”
“Umm, hello, you’re in the middle of the road.”
I glanced in the rearview mirror. Fortunately, we were on a lone country road with only a few cows to show their disapproval. Getting used to driving on the left side of the road was hard enough and having Christa as a passenger made the overwhelming task even more daunting.
“He’s loaded. You’d never have to work another day in your life.”
I snorted, thinking of married life with Rand. Ridiculous. He’d be controlling, demanding, sexy as hell … I shook the useless thoughts from my head and looked to my right for oncoming traffic. Then remembered I should be looking to the left.
“Well, first of all, Rand is hardly the marrying type, so it’s ridiculous even to have this conversation.”
She turned on the radio and sifted through the stations, settling on techno. The insistent thudding from the speakers acted like a rat gnawing away at my nerves.
“I was just saying,” she said defensively.
“There’s no point …” The music gained in intensity, reverberating through the car like a stray bullet.
“Oh my God, Chris, can you please turn that off? It’s going to make me have an accident.”
Christa groaned, but turned the volume down, and my entire body breathed a sigh of relief. “I bet Rand’s good in bed, too,” she continued with an impish smile.
“What makes you think that?” Images of a naked Rand flashed through my mind like a bad porn. Not something to be thinking about when you’re trying to learn to drive on the wrong side of the road.
Christa shrugged. “I don’t know … he just has that certain something about him. I wonder if he’d be naughty …”
I laughed. “Do you realize you can’t go for more than a day without talking about sex?”
“That’s what makes me so popular with the boys,” she answered with a little giggle. We pulled up to the driveway of Pelham Manor, and I parked the car, relieved we hadn’t hit anything or anybody.
“I bet he’s super naughty.”
“Oh, God,” I said with a frown and watched as the subject of our heated conversation neared us, his dimples in full effect.
He opened the door for Christa and once she’d stepped outside, poked his head in with a grin. “How are you finding the car?”
I returned the smile. “I love it.”
He nodded. “If your afternoon is free, I wanted to teach you your next lesson myself.”
I was thrilled with the idea, being infinitely more comfortable with him than I was with any of the fairies. So far, I’d been tutored by Mathilda and another fairy named Gor who taught me spells of nature—how
to see with your natural eyes, those untainted by human society. Upon using my natural eyes, I was able to perceive all sorts of woodland life. There were pixies of all kinds—those that live in flowers, those that prefer bushes and trees, and even water pixies who swim about in slow moving streams or in puddles.
I opened the door, and Rand took my hand. The contact sent heat spiraling through my body. Swallowing hard, I followed his lead into the forest, wondering if my poor nerves would ever get used to him.
“Today I’m going to teach you how to find your inner beast.”
I started to laugh, thinking it sounded ridiculous, when I remembered Rand changing into the shape of the bear at Bella’s party. The laugh dropped right off my lips.
“Every witch has a sister beast within herself and in times of danger, it can be best to revert to the shape of the beast,” he continued.
“How do I know what mine is?” I asked. “Or will I be a bear too?”
Rand didn’t answer right away but unlocked the decrepit wooden gate that led into the wilderness bordering Pelham Manor. The squeak of the hinges sounded like a witch cackling.
“No, your beast won’t be a bear. Your creature will choose you, and it will come to you in time. It takes a great deal of patience and …”
“Focus,” I interrupted him with a grin. “Your favorite word—focus.”
He laughed. “Yes, focus. Sometimes it’s easier to bring forth the beast when you’re in its natural domain. I find it much easier to draw forth the bear in the forest, and I imagine it will be easier for you as well.”
Leaves crunched under my feet as I followed him further into the woods, the sun splaying against his hair until it appeared almost chestnut in color. The further we walked, the more the sun fought to get through the umbrella of tree branches. Finally losing the battle, we were bathed in an umbra of shadow.
We settled in a meadow, and I noted a few pixies as they danced upon a blade of grass, using it like a trampoline. They didn’t seem to pay any attention to Rand or me and instead, just bounced up and down, giggling to one another.
I couldn’t help the awe I felt at being able to see them. Without Gor’s lesson, I’d never have been able to. “Look at the pixies, Rand,” I said in a whisper. Rand noted them with disinterest—a quick nod of his head. I glanced at the pixies that were now facing both of us, one of them with her little hands on her hips, apparently not appreciating Rand’s dismissal.
“Careful, they have a mean bite,” he said with a smile.
Pixies and fairies were distantly related, think second cousins or cousins removed twice—whichever is farther apart. As I mentioned before, fairies (as far as I could tell after meeting Mathilda and Gor) don’t have wings and are human size. Pixies, on the other hand, have beautiful ethereal wings that beat as quickly as a hummingbird’s, so you can only see them when they’re still. And pixies are rarely still. They reminded me of ants—each one set on her own mission and all appearing very busy. They’re about the size of my thumb.
“Now, think of all the beasts in nature and allow one to choose you,” Rand said, pulling my attention from the pixies. “Your beast will come forward to claim you; just allow it to do so.”
I nodded and shut my eyes, imagining all the animals in the animal kingdom. I pictured Noah’s ark and the pairs of animals he’d brought aboard his ship, and then my mind moved to National Geographic magazine. I started thinking of animals you find in the Sahara, but that didn’t seem at all suitable since we were in England …
“Has your beast chosen you?” Rand whispered.
I shook my head. “I can’t focus.”
“It might help if you picture a line of animals. Just tell the one that’s yours to come forward.”
I imagined all the animals lined up. It was a funny picture, thinking of cats and dogs lined up next to elephants and monkeys. And what about insects, should I have been imagining them to? Hmm, the idea of turning into a giant cockroach or praying mantis didn’t thrill me. Yeah, nix on the insects.
Pretty soon, I had an expansive list of animals, but none were coming forward. Was I that pathetic that none of them wanted to be my other half? As soon as the thought left my head, a small red fox stepped forward. Her attention riveted on her paws, she seemed embarrassed. She turned her attention to a great hippo just next to her and dropped her gaze to the ground again.
“A red fox,” I whispered.
“I should’ve known. You have something of the fox about you.”
I was too enamored of the fox to pause and wonder what in the hell Rand was talking about.
“She seems very shy,” I continued as I watched the fox come closer. Rand took hold of my hand, but I didn’t dare open my eyes for fear of losing my fox.
“I’m going to help her.”
I ignored the warm strength of his hand and focused on the quivering fox. The thick fur of a bear slipped between my fingers. The bear looked up at me and almost appeared to be smiling. I wasn’t sure if he was only in my thoughts or if he was actually next to me, but I didn’t open my eyes to find out. It took some getting used to, but I petted his head, slightly intimidated by the giant beast. He licked at my hand, and I bent down, so I was on his level. He lapped at my face, and the little fox came forward.
The closer the red fox came, the more the animals in the background began to fade away, and the more I realized the fox was my partner in crime. Rand, the bear, neared her cautiously and rubbed against her as she came closer to him.
Before I knew it, the fox was at my feet, and I maintained my hunched position, so as not to scare her. She came right up to me, sniffing and inspecting me, maybe to be sure I was, in fact, her witch of choice. Rand butted me until I started petting his head again while the fox licked my other hand.
I opened my eyes, and the vision shattered. My fox and the bear were gone. I found Rand staring at me with a smile on his handsome face. I guess it had all been in my head, which threw me because it had seemed so real.
“You found your little fox it seems.”
“Yes, I have,” I said, wondering if my fox was the best animal to have selected me. She wasn’t large like Rand’s bear or menacing like Bella’s lion. But I guess she was better than a rat or a frog or something.
Rand drew up his knees and leaned back against a tree. “The fox is a very powerful ally to have, Jolie,” he said, as if reading my thoughts. “She may not look like much, but she’s quick and wise. I’m very pleased with this pairing.”
I was pleased that Rand was pleased. “She’s cute, too.”
Rand chuckled. “Now that you’ve found her, you need to learn how to harness her power. You’ll need it especially when you’re in the natural world. You’ll do much better as a fox than a human.”
I leaned against the tree next to him. “How do I do that?”
“Call to her and allow her to take control of you. She’ll know what to do and she’ll help you.”
I nodded and closed my eyes, calling for the fox in my mind. This time she came right away. “She’s here,” I whispered, not daring to open my eyes.
“Tell her to take control of you.”
I allowed her to come very near me, and then I opened myself as best I could, envisioning a white light emanating from my body as I reached toward the fox.
At the exact moment I turned into a fox, I can’t say it was painful at all. It was more a feeling of lightness—as if your soul is floating to the very top of your head and then floats out of you. It happened immediately and when I opened my eyes, the foliage had gone from green to yellow as well as the tufts of grass that peeked from the base of the trees. The orange tulips, too, had lost their color and disappeared into the yellow of the background.
It was like looking at a landscape through extremely thick glasses when you, yourself, have good vision. Everything appeared to be distorted and further away than it actually was. And the smells! The scent of water droplets on the leaves was as powerful as newly mown grass. When
I turned my head, I caught the definite whiff of something dead that now lay rotting.
I didn’t have time to inspect anything further, the pat of a bear’s paw sending me careening. Landing on my rear, I yelped but was up and on my feet in the bat of an eyelash. The bear was just behind me, his paw raised as if to repeat the performance. But as a fox, I was notoriously quick, so I didn’t miss a beat.
I sprinted around Rand and grabbed his fur with my teeth. He roared when I got a bit too much, but I knew it was all in fun and wasn’t frightened of him. Once we grew tired of harassing one another, we began scouting the forest, our noses leading us in our exploration. I uncovered a den of newly born foxes and scampered away when their mother grumbled at me. A mouse darted from one bank of daffodils to another and I was about to go chasing after him when Rand growled. I turned to face him, and he shook his great head—apparently, he wanted me within sight.
Finding too much fun in taunting Rand, I took advantage of a momentary lapse in his ever-vigilant watch and hid behind a tree stump. When he lumbered around the stump, I jumped at him, grabbing a mouth full of his fur. His thunderous growl met my ears as he reared around and we tumbled into a yellow broom bush. The tumble broke my concentration and before I knew it, I was human again with an enormous bear lying atop me.
And I was naked.
Leaves stuck to my back, and the flowers of the broom bush dotted the landscape of my body, making me look like the queen of the fairies clad only in yellow blossoms. The bear’s fur tickled and irritated the sensitive skin of my breasts. In a split second, the bear’s fur disappeared, only to be replaced with the soft sprinkling of dark brown hair on Rand’s glorious chest.